Syd's Journey to Summer

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I'm sure nobody wants you to leave. It's important that you get support just like everybody else here does.

If you glance over the diary rules again you'll see a big disclaimer about people not always giving you the advice that you wanted to hear. I've certainly found that to be true on my diary. The culture here is lovely but very health driven rather than weight loss orientated. That can be difficult for someone that struggles with disordered eating - I know myself that 'healthy' isn't always obtainable during bouts of mental strain.

However you can't expect people to stop trying to help you but carry on commenting here as there's nothing really to say beyond supporting you as a person like Sunflower said. I personally wouldn't feel ok with congratulating you on your weight loss because I fear it may validate how you lost it and encourage you to continue. I know there are plenty of people who felt the same about my own diary whilst I was on the weight loss shakes. There are some people who won't even read it now that I'm on real food.

So by all means continue to post here and I for one would love to support you with what's going on in your life. You need that support, it sounds like you're under a lot of pressure. And I don't want you to think we're attacking you. I used to eat a packet of crisps and a carton of juice a day and I saw what it did to me. I don't want that for you.
 
Weight loss week 1 (June 7-14): 2.2kg (4.9 lbs)
Weight loss week 2 (June 14-21): 1.3kg (2.8 lbs)
Weight loss week 3 (June 21-29): 2,6kg (5.7lbs)
Weight loss week 4 (June 29 - July 6): 1.8kg (4lbs)
Weight loss week 5 (July 6 - July 13): 1,7kg (3,7lbs)

Weight lost so far: 9,6kg (21,2lbs)
 
Fat loss is a very individual thing, and while it would be nice to see more calories consumed each day, your total may not need to be as high as many think. As an example in the past I have been supervised and advised by a professional at 1000 calories a day, simply because that is what was needed for me while at the same time training at a level far above what the average fit person would do for exercise (I was preparing for National Titles at the time). for others calories may need to be higher than normal recommendations.

What I would like to see is a breakdown of your macro's compared to your lean body mass to ensure you are at least getting the minimum nutrients to make your diet healthy regardless of calorie intake.
 
Weight loss week 1 (June 7-14): 2,2kg (4.9 lbs)
Weight loss week 2 (June 14-21): 1,3kg (2.8 lbs)
Weight loss week 3 (June 21-29): 2,6kg (5.7lbs)
Weight loss week 4 (June 29 - July 6): 1,8kg (4lbs)
Weight loss week 5 (July 6 - July 13): 1,7kg (3.7lbs)
Weight loss week 6 (July 13 - July 20): 1,5kg (3.3lbs)

Current weight: 74,8kg (164.9lbs)
Weight lost so far: 11,1kg (24.5lbs)
 
I was back at 78 after my holiday to Slovenia, but I'm back at 75 now. Will be moving out this week<3. We celebrated my birthday in Slovenia as well, and it was a really memorable day.
Pics of me and my boyfriend on holiday.<3

Sorry for the picture sizes!
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I finally moved out<3. Got sort of my own place now and I'll probably post pics when it's done, but I still need a bed, drawer and a shelf. I'll be doing all my groceries myself from now on, so I'll be in full control of what I eat. Which is why I'll most likely be starting food diaries again. I'm not sure yet. We'll see how it goes ^^

For today:
- Ham & Cheese croissant
- Fried fish bites ('Kibbeling' in Dutch, it's really popular here)
- 300ml Iced coffee
- 250ml Strawberry Yoghurt drink
- Bun with roast beef
- Few slices of lightly salted smoked beef
- Small bottle of cherry coke

I'll do a weigh-in in the morning.
 
Weighed in at 74.9kg (165lbs) today.
Weight lost so far: 11,0kg (24lbs).

I was planning to eat soup for dinner today but my friends came over and we all went out.
Actually ordered a small portion and got the full portion. Didn't finish it, but about 3/4th.

Food Diary:
Breakfast: 0% fat cherry yoghurt (55)
Lunch: Bread roll with smoked meat (300)
Dinner: Fries + 6 small spring rolls & sauce (?)
Snacks: Few little candy balls (?)
Drinks: Water, Red Bull Sugar Free (8), Small mocha milkshake (?), Iced coffee (110)

Also, this is what happens when you join your friends to IKEA.

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Current weight: 75.6kg (166.7lbs)

I got up so early today, I fell asleep around 5pm and woke up around 7:30pm. I hadn't really slept well the other night. T-T
Also, turns out Ill have to get up around 6am this Thursday. I'll have to be at my new school for an introduction. It's 2 hours with public transport, that's why I'll have to get up so early. Despite that I'm really, really excited!

Food Diary 29/08:
Breakfast: 20 seedless red grapes (67)
Lunch: Babybel Cheese (59), Glass of fruit juice (80)
Dinner: Big chicken&ham spring roll (240)
Snacks: 250g mixed fruits (104)

Total: 550 calories.

I've been losing track of my diet lately, which is why I'll be more strict with myself from now on.
Truly trying to resist this white chocolate Snickers in front of me right now.



 
you appear to be eating far too few calories to be healthy, what are your macros (protein, carbs, fat) ?
 
Current weight: 74.8kg (164.9lbs)

Sometimes I'm a bit worried myself about the signs of disordered eating I'm showing. I'm really calorie-obsessed with what I'm eating. I always look at the amount of sugar, carbs and fats and I'll try to keep those as low as possible. Now that I've moved out I don't know what it'll turn out to be like. Usually I'd binge my way through the entire fridge, but now I'm afraid to even get a grape late at night. When I feel really hungry I'll just water it down. I must admit I'm also on a handful of diet pills, and even laxatives. I really know I shouldn't be taking laxatives, but it makes me so happy when I see the weight suddenly drop a little after they've kicked in.

The variety in what I eat has drastically changed as well. I refuse to eat pastas, full fat milk/yoghurt, fried foods and I'm trying to cut out bread, which is really difficult because I really like bread. Going for groceries is really difficult because I'm drawn to a lot of products I'm not supposed to have.
The main things on my shopping list are: Fresh fruits, vegetables, fish, almond milk (I just discovered today how good unsweetened almond milk is), fruit juice, fatfree cherry yoghurt and other sugarfree / fatfree / low calorie products.
I really, truly know it's unhealthy. But it's more than difficult to stop doing something you experience as positive.

Food Diary 30/08:
Breakfast: Woke up late.
Lunch: 20 seedless red grapes (67)
Dinner: Small bag of BBQ & Paprika flavored rice crackers (125)
Snacks: 250g fresh pineapple (135), Small licorice roll (29), 2 small pieces of chicken (30)
Drinks: Red Bull Sugarfree (8), Little bit of unsweetened almond milk (5)

Total: 399 calories.

Edit: Laxatives started kicking in right after this post, weight dropped to 74,4kg (164lbs).
 
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Disordered eating can become a real problem, is there somebody you can turn to for help ? it is often better to get professional help early rather than letting the problem get worse.

good luck !
 
if you really want to lose weight and keep it off, you need to do weight training.

Laxatives are a short term "solution" with long term problems. I think Trusylver is right. I think it might be a good idea to see a professional before you end up in the hospital.
 
allcdnboy said:
Laxatives are a short term "solution" with long term problems. I think Trusylver is right. I think it might be a good idea to see a professional before you end up in the hospital.
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Please do Syd. I worry about you :grouphug:
 
Current weight: - (stayed at my boyfriend's place)

Yesterday I probably had about 1,100 calories. Also thank you for your concern everyone. I'm really thankful.

Food Diary 01/09:
Breakfast: Woke up late
Lunch: 2 slices of brown bread with a thin layer of cheese spread (+- 200)
Dinner: My dad took me too a BBQ for someone's birthday. Had a sausage, 2 meat skewers and a small fillet. (+- 500)
Drinks: 250ml Coca-Cola Zero (1), Red Bull Sugarfree (8)

Total: +- 769 calories
 
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Current weight: 73,5kg (162lbs)
Total weight lost: 12,4kg (27lbs)

Turns out my step niece is struggling with eating the exact same way I am. It's nice to have someone I can properly talk to about this and to know she understands me.

Food Diary 02/09:
Breakfast: Woke up late
Lunch: Bun (130) with 2 thin chicken slices (33)
Dinner: Dads special spaghetti (+- 500)
Snacks: Few baby carrots (30)
Drinks: 500ml Coca Cola Zero (2)

Total: +- 695 calories
 
Syd said:
Turns out my step niece is struggling with eating the exact same way I am. It's nice to have someone I can properly talk to about this and to know she understands me.
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Perhaps you can encourage her to seek help by offering that you could both do it together. It would be good to think you could turn her life around and you would both benefit in the process. Take care of yourself Syd.
 
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