Roman Polanski

[johnny83]

Ok what do you guys think of this scenario...

Guy in his 30s meets a 16 year old girl. Well she and this 30 some year old guy start talking and to their surprise they click fairly well where they actually do have enough things in common to have great and meaningful conversations. So based on that, they quickly become close friends and continue to talk to each other on a regular basis for the next 2-3 years. And during those years, nobody touches anybody, it was strictly platonic, and nothing physical or sexual happens between the two. He basically exercises complete restriant, shows her as much respect as possible, and waits for her for at least those entire 2 years until she at least turns 18. Then just months after she finally turns 18, they start dating.

What do you think of this scenerio in general?
And what would would think of this scenerio if you were this particular girl's father?

Jason Salamone

Heres my opinion on that, as i am a father, but even if i werent. I dont beleive that there should be any type of close relationship between a 16 year old girl and a 30 something year old guy. I dont care how much they have in common, music, sports, books, whatever.
As the father, I would put a stop to that fast if it were my daughter, by any means neccesary.
Now, lets say my daughter was already 18 and off to college or something and she decided to date a 30 year old guy, well, i wouldnt agree with it but it would be out of my control as she would be an adult and independent to make those decisions.

On the earlier topic tho : Rape is rape ! I dont care if the girl is 13 or 35. And if the girl is under 18 "in America" and the guy is over age and even if its consentual, then its statuatory rape. As Americans, we should already know this and understand the consequences of breakin that law. There are no excuses. There is no debate.

Now in the U.K., the laws and culture may be different then here, im not exactly sure what they are. You can look back to the early bible days when there were arranged marriages between Kings and very young girls, even multiple young girls and it was common place.

The bottom line is the laws of where you are living must be obeyed, weather its consentual or not ! Period.

 

[JohnnySolo]

As a dad, I'd find him and rip him to shreds

 

[Jason Salamone]

Heres my opinion on that, as i am a father, but even if i werent. I dont beleive that there should be any type of close relationship between a 16 year old girl and a 30 something year old guy. I dont care how much they have in common, music, sports, books, whatever.
As the father, I would put a stop to that fast if it were my daughter, by any means neccesary.
Now, lets say my daughter was already 18 and off to college or something and she decided to date a 30 year old guy, well, i wouldnt agree with it but it would be out of my control as she would be an adult and independent to make those decisions.

Why would you put a stop to it if everything that happened between them was respectful and on the up and up? All they were doing was having conversations for the entire time previous to her turning of legal age? Nobody is breaking any law by simply talking and having innocent but meaningful conversations with one another. And in every way, she is being treated as well or possibly even better than you would hope for your daughter to be treated by this guy, by keeping everything respectfully innocent and platonic and having both the self-control and decency to wait until she's at least 18 until they even think of doing something as little as just holding hands with each other. If I were the girl's father, I don't think I would have a problem with it, as long as I wasn't kept in the dark about it the whole time.

Jason Salamone

 

[Jason Salamone]

As a dad, I'd find him and rip him to shreds

Why? He has done nothing wrong morally, ethically, or legally, and has done everything he can for a very extended period of time (in this example 2-3 years) to prove himself as nothing but having sincere and genuine intentions, which is a possibilty, because not every person and/or situation/circumstance is the same.

What if it were a 30 some year old woman, and your 16 year old son (pretend you have one, if you don't for the sake of discussion), but same exact scenerio?


Jason Salamone

 

[JohnnySolo]

If my daughter were raped = ripped to shreds

30 yr old going after my daughter with whatever intentions = a visit from me.

It’s a fine line to cross and seeing the guy face to face, I just might cross it.

As for a woman with my son, yup double standard but my wife is scarier than me and she would cross the line.

 

[JohnnySolo]

Why? He has done nothing wrong morally, ethically, or legally, and has done everything he can for a very extended period of time (in this example 2-3 years) to prove himself as nothing but having sincere and genuine intentions, which is a possibilty, because not every person and/or situation/circumstance is the same.

Jason Salamone

I call BS....

No man is like that. Sex is our intent/drive. Yeah, he could mean well, but you can’t take sex intent out of it. If there wasn’t an intent they would be friends and no date at 18.

 

[Jason Salamone]

I call BS....

No man is like that. Sex is our intent/drive. Yeah, he could mean well, but you can’t take sex intent out of it. If there wasn’t an intent they would be friends and no date at 18.

Not every guy is like that and wouldn't be like that in every situation, age gap or not. You can't generalize and assume that the intent is more about the sex than actually liking the person for who they are as a person, and wanting to get to know each other on that genuine level. The intent/drive of wanting to have sex is not always a constant fact, regardess of one's gender or whether the age difference is prevelant or not. In my example here, nobody is going after anybody. The two people meet, start talking, and hit it off as friends...nothing more, nothing less.

Nobody can say that every man's intent/drive is sex. The intent is friendship first, then a relationship, which usually includes sex at some point. Just like in any wholesome relationship. If it progresses in this nature, then the age difference should be just a number. Plus, nothing happens between them intimately until she at least turns 18. The fact that the man did everything he could to genuinely and sincerely prove his intent and earn her trust and the trust of everybody in her life and also spent 2-3 years doing so, should be taken under consideration and in my opinion doesn't deserve that kind of irrational reaction. If and when my daughter told me about the relationship/friendship and vouched for him as being completely respectable and doing everything on the up-and-up, what I would do at that point is sit down with the guy and talk to him and get to know him to make sure of it.

If you really think about it, guys in their teens and early 20s are much much more predatory and users for physical gratification with girls than any guy in any other age range. This is probably why more girls in there teens and early 20's are persuing lesbian relationships and relationship with much older men more openly now more than ever before. Still should be of legal age before anything physical happens though.

By your logic, you are basically saying that your intent/drive with your own wife was sex, so regardless of each other's ages when you met, a predator is a predator, so you should of ripped yourself apart. If the intent of sex is as prominent as you say, then it would have nothing to do with age. Plus, there is nothing wrong with being attracted to somebody as long as you don't act on it when you shouldn't. If you can prove that you can wait and hold out along with establishing an deeper emotional connection with a woman while being just friends, then I think there is nothing wrong with a friendship (like my example given) blossoming into a real relationship when the time is both legally and ethically right.

If every guy's intent/drive is sex, then you are pretty much saying that all males are predatory and have the basis for their interest in women are paved with ill-intentions. If all men are predatory, then age is irrelevant...who are attracted to whoever you are attracted to. You are basically saying no man is deserving of a relationship with any woman in any circumstance, that they are all predators, because their intent/drive is sex.

Jason Salamone

 

[JohnnySolo]

yeah, that’s what I said. Men have a natural drive and intent.

The guy wouldn’t get years before we had a deep discussion once I found out a 30 year old was hanging with my 16 year old.

I’d kick his A$$. It’s the way I roll.

You seem deeply interested in this. Got a 16 year old in mind or something? I can be a jerk, but it is a serious question. you looking for aprovel

 

[JohnnySolo]

Men have a natural drive and intent.

that is what I said, you don't need to elaborate for me and put words in my mouth. That is very aggressive of you.

 

[Jason Salamone]

yeah, that’s what I said. Men have a natural drive and intent.

The guy wouldn’t get years before we had a deep discussion once I found out a 30 year old was hanging with my 16 year old.

I’d kick his A$$. It’s the way I roll.

You seem deeply interested in this. Got a 16 year old in mind or something? I can be a jerk, but it is a serious question. you looking for aprovel

No, I just like debating, and I disagree with you...especially when pigeon-holing every guy as having a natural intent of sex. Plus, nobody needs approval for any reason just to talk to somebody. There is no line being crossed when it's striclty having innocent conversation with somebody regardless of age.

I'm just using a real life example of two people I know and how their relationship started out. They are happily married now with a couple kids, by the way. But my friends and I all find their story very interesting till this day, so I thought I'd put it out there to see other opinions on it.

I also have another friend whose grandparents had a huge age difference when they met. Their grandpa was 49 and their grandma was 19 when they started dating. They were still together and happily married until he died when he was 102.

I just think there are exceptions to every genralization, assumption, and stereotype out there. Most of them come from our own insecurties, which in itself isn't a healthy thing. It depends on each individual person and their situation, and the best way to deal with things like this is on a case-by-case basis.

Just thought I throw these real-life situations and scenerios out there, because it's a very interesting topic for discussion to say the least. And we can always agree to disagree.


Jason Salamone

 

[JohnnySolo]

No, I just like debating, and I disagree with you..especially pigeon-holing every guy as having a natural intent of sex.

You would date a woman that you had no sexual interest in?

(date, not just be friends.)

men date prospective mates. As in sexual inertest and intent to mate. I think it is safe to assume that every guy that dates a woman has an intent/drive to mate with them.

Yes, when dating my wife there was an intent/drive to mate. She is freaking hot!!!

 

[johnny83]

Why would you put a stop to it if everything that happened between them was respectful and on the up and up? All they were doing was having conversations for the entire time previous to her turning of legal age? Nobody is breaking any law by simply talking and having innocent but meaningful conversations with one another. And in every way, she is being treated as well or possibly even better than you would hope for your daughter to be treated by this guy, by keeping everything respectfully innocent and platonic and having both the self-control and decency to wait until she's at least 18 until they even think of doing something as little as just holding hands with each other. If I were the girl's father, I don't think I would have a problem with it, as long as I wasn't kept in the dark about it the whole time.

Jason Salamone

Jason, you asked what we others would do if in this situation, you got mine and Solos answers. It may not be what you wanna hear. But dont ask a man what he thinks in general and then argue their personal feelings dude.
I understand this is a touchy subject for you as it is for me, and quite frankly anyone with a heart, but your being a bit overly aggressive here.
Im glad that the situation that you know of worked out fine and that your cool with that. Do you see what I just did ? I let you have your opinion and am not gonna questions a mans opinion for the sake of debate.

Actually, this will be my last post on this topic so please dont reply to this post out of respect. Honestly, I think we should let this thread die.
But if you are to reply, do it via PM.

 

[Jason Salamone]

You would date a woman that you had no sexual interest in?

(date, not just be friends.)

men date prospective mates. As in sexual inertest and intent to mate.
I think it is safe to assume that every guy that dates a woman has an intent/drive to mate with them.

Yes, when dating my wife there was an intent/drive to mate. She is freaking hot!!!

Yes I would and I have. You can meet the hottest most attractive girl in the world in your eyes, but if her personality completely sucks or just doesn't click with your own, she will turn physically unattractive sooner or later.

The opposite holds true with person that you may not find attractive or sexually appealing, where their personalities are so amazing and click so well with your own that you almost immediately start to see her as beautiful both inside and out, and it grows even stronger over time. This to me can happen in any circumstance, and it has/does more than we realize.

Side note: There is no harm in debate each other's opinions and challenging each other, even aggressively. :action9: Aggressively, but responsibly...nobody is attacking anybody, and no insults are being thrown at each other here. The freedom to exercise freedom of speech that may even be a little contentiuous is what makes this country great. Plus, I did mention that we always have the right to agree to disagree, which is letting each other have our own opinions, regardless of how contentious we may be with each other while debating them.

It is starting to get old though. Don't want me or anybody else to start forgetting this a fitness forum, so I hear where you're coming from Johnny83! You da' man!

Peace and Love to All My Brothers and Sisters! :yelrotflmao:

Jason Salamone

 

[malkore]

I watched some video on this.

1. Polanski has NEVER served any real time for this. He still has to be sentenced for the original crime.
2. Polanski did agree to a settlement in a civil lawsuit...BUT NEVER PAID A DIME OF IT.
3. Polanski is now guilty of fleeing, so there are additional crimes related to that which he as to pay for still (i.e. fines/more jail time)
4. Polanski has NEVER SHOWN A BIT OF REMORSE in the last 30 years
5. The accuser never said Polanski should get off scott free. she said she forgave him, but doesn't care about him either way. She's just trying to move on with her life.
6. There are laws that allow states to prosecute above and beyond what the victim wants to prosecute for, and this is one of those cases where that comes into play. Kind of like when police see a child get abused, the state takes action even if the child or the mother doesn't want charges to be pressed.
7. Lastly, he didn't just drug and rape the girl...he sodomized her.

Hook the guy up to 220v and let him fry.

 

[Jason Salamone]

I only believe in the death penalty for murderers and serial killers.

I think Polanski should spend the rest of his life in prison, and not some prison where he gets special treatment. A prison where he has to look over his shoulder for the rest of his life.

Jason Salamone

 

[oicdn]

I only believe in the death penalty for murderers and serial killers.

I think Polanski should spend the rest of his life in prison, and not some prison where he gets special treatment. A prison where he has to look over his shoulder for the rest of his life.

Jason Salamone

Life in prison is BULLSH!T. Why? Because WE ARE PAYING FOR HIM TO LIVE. Why the would you want that?

Bring it back to the days where you shot somebody, you get shot. Make the court system a lot more ruthless and you'll see how much more people either

A. Get sneakier about it to get away with it

or

B. Not do it at all because the consequences aren't "oh, I could spend life in jail and POSSIBLY get parole if I act good there." And in most cases, those people are repeat offenders once out of jail!!!

 

[Jason Salamone]

Life in prison is BULLSH!T. Why? Because WE ARE PAYING FOR HIM TO LIVE. Why the would you want that?

Bring it back to the days where you shot somebody, you get shot. Make the court system a lot more ruthless and you'll see how much more people either

A. Get sneakier about it to get away with it

or

B. Not do it at all because the consequences aren't "oh, I could spend life in jail and POSSIBLY get parole if I act good there." And in most cases, those people are repeat offenders once out of jail!!!

Not to downplay the seriousness of rape, but when somebody gets raped, they typically still come out alive after the experience. And YES, the emotional trauma may be extremely difficult, but they still have a chance to live normal lives. This girl who was raped by Polanski is a perfect example, for she even stated herself that she's over it, and doesn't care what happens. Still, Polanski should get prison time an lots of it, in the way I stated. And when other prisoners find out what he's in for, he probably won't last anyways, so in a way, it's like he's getting the death penalty.

I believe in the death penalty ONLY for murderers and serial killers, because the punishment truly fits the crime. The people that they killed and their families will never be able to get that life back, because it's literally gone.

If you want to save money for what we spend on taxes to keep people in prison, I think the best thing would be to do is to stop putting people in jail for stupid harmless things like the countless amount of people that are serving 10-15 years in jail for simply possessing marijuana...just plain stupid.

Jason Salamone