Pacoltmaki's Weight Loss Diary

LaMaria said:
Wellll... If you maintain while trying, you'll likely gain without it. But I totally get your frustration and if you're sticking to your calories you ought to be losing fat. Be careful, by the way: you've started exercising intensely again so after a few days of that you'll be retaining water again. I'm sorry I don't have something more helpful to say...
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You're right about gaining if not even trying.. It's just so frustrating. I should stop weighing myself for a week and work harder. There is no other way than working harder. :)
 
It sucks. And I've definitely wanted to give up multiple times (as well as actually giving up for a while sometimes). But... there's just no way around it. Keep trying, keep listening to your body. You'll find your way.
 
LaMaria said:
It sucks. And I've definitely wanted to give up multiple times (as well as actually giving up for a while sometimes). But... there's just no way around it. Keep trying, keep listening to your body. You'll find your way.
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Hoping to find it! Thanks for the encouragement and support! :)
 
Sorry to hear you're feeling a little frustrated Pac.
Pacoltmaki said:
I should stop weighing myself for a week and work harder. There is no other way than working harder. :)
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I don't know about working harder...you sound like you're definitely working hard enough!
The scales can be funny with so much to take into account especially with water weight and all the different reasons we can retain more water at certain times.
I think just finding a program you feel happy with that you can stick with for the long-term is really helpful.
 
73.6kg. Some really bad days behind me in every sense. IF did not work (I mean I couldn't do it). Started walking 2 hours a day. 1hr in the morning and 1 in the afternoon for the past 2 days. This morning I did not find the determination so I'll do it a bit later in one go (the lake is about an hour walking away, back and forth is 2hrs).
Today's goal will be to find 1 single thing that I find joyful. Or rather that I feel a sparkle of joy today. Just one.
 
I hope you find that sparkle at the lake - or anywhere, really. Have a hug from an internet stranger :grouphug: 73.6 kg is a new low though, isn't it?
 
LaMaria said:
I hope you find that sparkle at the lake - or anywhere, really. Have a hug from an internet stranger :grouphug: 73.6 kg is a new low though, isn't it?
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Thank you! It is a new low, yes! I should be happy about it, and I'm trying to. In 3 days it's Christmas, however strange it will be in a lockdown, should still be happy about everyone being healthy, so I'll focus on that. Thank you again for the hug!
 
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Hi, Pac. I can’t change anything in your life, but what I can send you is a great big hug & lots of love :grouphug:
Life will get better, hon xoxo
 
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Almost did not go for my evening walk with Sissi but made an effort. Yesterday I cried the whole hour and felt a debilitating pain and wanted to end it all, tried to share it with a friend who read half and after just did not read on and never replied. Today it was the same path I took, through the dark forest but it was a very different walk. I left home 3 kids happily playing together and a husband happily cooking, and I walked along the river, Radiohead playing (my favorite album, Hail to the Thief), yellowish gleam reflecting on the river from the streetlamps, ducks swimming through the shimmering light, wind blowing my hair - absolutely surrealistic. I walked the whole hour I planned and I'm happy I did. Tomorrow I will go on my morning walk as well for sure.
 
:beating: That's lovely!
Sadly many people don't know how to react to "negative" emotions so they just ignore them - but then again maybe your friend was struggling as well and had no bandwidth to share.
 
73.5kg. The walks might start to work. Food is ok, not perfect but with all the Christmas preparations it's still acceptable. Sleep is not really good, I keep waking up at night and can't go back to sleep sometimes for an hour-1.5h. Plus, every time I woke up I had the word "mandalorian" echoing in my head. Just that. Mandalorian... (?? not even watching the series) I woke up at 6:30, took the dog for a walk then tried to go back to sleep but living in an area where the number of Covid cases is very high, the level of my anxiety is rising. While trying to fall back asleep, I kept checking my breathing, could not stop seeing farewell scenes, hospital scenes, and when finally I started falling asleep, everyone else woke up so I was dragged out right away. Now I'm so tired, will get some herbal tea for the evening. Planning to go for a long walk again.
 
I measured myself according to the navy BMI calculator, I seem to be obese. Ouch. Doesn't change anything in my goals, so it's ok.
 
Do you have a routine for bedtime, Pac? I never drink anything caffeinated after lunchtime & drink herbal tea in the evening only. I leave my phone & laptop alone after about 8 pm.
I went through periods of anxiety this year, about covid & like you, I will sometimes wake with a word or a song in my head that I can't get out of it. I try to replace it with something else that I love, usually an image of my younger grandson. It usually works. Songs that are earworms are the worst. Don't worry about words like obese. They are just words. I can't imagine you looking obese at your current weight.
I hope you have a lovely Christmas & get a chance for a breather in there.
 
LaMaria said:
I know those anxious nights... Pandemics turn out to be kind of awful for our mental state.
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Exactly. I already have trouble sleeping but with this around... Hope you have anxiety-free nights!
 
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