Not Stopping This Time

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Hi, Kyle. While support from friends or your partner is a wonderful thing, doing this for yourself is what is most important. We are responsible for our own health & wellbeing & it is not selfish or vain to want to be as healthy as we can be. I feel so much better when I get back in control of my eating & get more exercise. It makes me feel better generally. I'm glad you are starting to get into the swing of things. We can be a support system for you. Get around some of the diaries if you have time. There are lots of genuine success stories here & works in progress, & I can say with confidence that there a whole lot of very supportive, kind people here. Keep up the good work Kyle!
 
Cate said:
Hi, Kyle. While support from friends or your partner is a wonderful thing, doing this for yourself is what is most important. We are responsible for our own health & wellbeing & it is not selfish or vain to want to be as healthy as we can be. I feel so much better when I get back in control of my eating & get more exercise. It makes me feel better generally. I'm glad you are starting to get into the swing of things. We can be a support system for you. Get around some of the diaries if you have time. There are lots of genuine success stories here & works in progress, & I can say with confidence that there a whole lot of very supportive, kind people here. Keep up the good work Kyle!
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Thank you so much!!! Speaking of consistency, I had a big argument with my wife yesterday, without getting into details. A lot got resolved, but it was very distressing. These tend to be the points where the stress just gets to me and my motivation gets derailed. But I was very careful not to let the stress get to me because I know I can get the results I want this time. As a result my motivation is actually STRONGER than at first. It was some kind of a motivation BOOST. So I am very excited.

I will look around at the diaries. I already started posting on 250-300 club.

I said this a long time ago, and I keep feeling like saying it. Cate you are so warm and caring, it's like having a 2nd mother. I'm sorry for saying that because it may not be so flattering to hear. Really, thank you for what you do on this forum. It is a true service. I am not sure what you do for work, but you could be a good therapist.
 
Hey Kyle,

It sounds like you are working things out with the wife. Sometimes an argument can help with understanding others. Particularly if neither party gets too emotional about it. Cate is right while getting help and support from our family and friends is a great thing in the end we are responsible for ourselves.

I can appreciate your comments about Cate, I see her as the kind of Queen of the forum. Not so much mother, as she and I are probably about the same age. Cate has a unique combination of compassion and wisdom, the place wouldn't be the same without her.
 
alligatorob said:
Hey Kyle,

It sounds like you are working things out with the wife. Sometimes an argument can help with understanding others. Particularly if neither party gets too emotional about it. Cate is right while getting help and support from our family and friends is a great thing in the end we are responsible for ourselves.

I can appreciate your comments about Cate, I see her as the kind of Queen of the forum. Not so much mother, as she and I are probably about the same age. Cate has a unique combination of compassion and wisdom, the place wouldn't be the same without her.
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That's a really good point. Sometimes the people in our lives just turn on us, or at least test us. And at those times it's not enough to just play the victim. Victims can't take care of themselves. Though I am noticing it's more than just a good attitude that get's me through the hard times, it's a strategic response to what's truly going on inside me, which require honesty with myself.

I'm glad you agree about Cate. ^.^
 
I updated my avatar to show a little progress. It's a subtle change on the camera but it's very good for me in real life.
 
Thank you very much, Kyle. I am not offended in any way by your lovely compliment. That's very sweet of you.
kstadelh said:
Speaking of consistency, I had a big argument with my wife yesterday, without getting into details. A lot got resolved, but it was very distressing. These tend to be the points where the stress just gets to me and my motivation gets derailed. But I was very careful not to let the stress get to me because I know I can get the results I want this time. As a result my motivation is actually STRONGER than at first. It was some kind of a motivation BOOST. So I am very excited.
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I'm glad that you got a lot resolved with your wife & even though it was distressing you didn't let it derail you. I hate conflict & get very emotional, but sometimes you just have to speak up for yourself. You're right. Victims can't look after themselves. Well done.
There's a definite change in your avatar :)
 
Great work not eating your feelings after that argument. And I agree with Cate that there's a clear difference in your first and second picture.
 
Cate said:
Thank you very much, Kyle. I am not offended in any way by your lovely compliment. That's very sweet of you.

I'm glad that you got a lot resolved with your wife & even though it was distressing you didn't let it derail you. I hate conflict & get very emotional, but sometimes you just have to speak up for yourself. You're right. Victims can't look after themselves. Well done.
There's a definite change in your avatar :)
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Thank you, Cate. My wife is still not giving me a break. More fighting yesterday, but I am standing up for myself, perhaps escalating the fight myself a little. I hate it when people diet and then take out their frustration on others. So I am careful not to be that person. But my wife just won't stop attacking me. I will get through this.
 
LaMaria said:
Great work not eating your feelings after that argument. And I agree with Cate that there's a clear difference in your first and second picture.
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Thank you, LaMaria. As I post above, the drama continues on the home front. But I am determined to get through this. I see so much happiness for myself, I don't want a silly argument to ruin my happiness.

Thanks for the comment on my avatar! I love to see improvements.
 
I´m sorry peace hasn´t returned yet. Are you still seeing your therapist? I could imagine it being helpful to have a place to properly unload your troubles,
 
That's such a shame that things are not resolved at home with your wife, Kyle. LaMa's suggestion is a good one. Being able to speak to a therapist about it all might be very helpful.
 
@LaMaria @Cate @alligatorob
Yes, I have been keeping open lines with my therapist via email. He helps me decide on a strategy to communicate with my wife which helps me avoid thinking too much about it.

My wife has calmed down these past couple days. I have been showing more helpfulness which was her main complaint. I am naturally helpful, so it is fine for me to put more of that helpful energy out.

When she is calm, my wife DOES express a lot of support for my efforts and regret for her unpleasant behavior, which is a comfort to me.

As for my weight loss, I finally reached the 260-270 range! I am attaching a screen shot of what my recent weight loss has looked like. Very up and down, but with a clear downward trend.

I started tucking in my shirt at work which someone mentioned is a sign of confidence. I also got a comment from a guy who was out for over a week that he notices the weight loss. Things are slowly improving and my confidence is creeping back. For me having confidence is like water for a fish. If it's high, I feel a lot freer, and if it's low I feel trapped.

It's so nice to have you folks here to listen to me and celebrate these milestones with me.
 

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Congratulations on another weight milestone! Fingers crossed things will remain more peaceful on the home front.
 
That graph looks excellent, Kyle. Well done on the weight loss. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself & I hope things keep settling down at home.
 
@LaMaria @Cate @alligatorob
Hello! Thank you for continuing to reach out to me! It's so nice to know you all care about me. Things are better with my wife. I have been trying to show her more fair treatment, something she kept complaining about. Also she has been much more caring and loving. So I am happy in that arena.

As for weight loss, I had some sort of mild food poisoning I guess because my stomach was upset all morning and I didn't eat until dinner. Who knows, but I think it will help boost the weight loss a few pounds. Just trying to look on the bright side.

I updated my avatar again, as there is more visual progress. As for weight, I was still 270 this morning. But I am maintaining a downward trend. I sure hope the up and down motion on my weight will calm down, but I have no reason to expect that as far as I know.

Here is my updated chart.
 

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Hey Kyle, good to hear that things are going better with your wife, the fair treatment thing is good.

Food poisoning is a great way to lose weight, or an effective one anyway. I hope it passes soon and you are back to losing weight more conventionally.
 
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