Weight-Loss No binge, no purge - one day at at time.

Weight-Loss
Petal001 said:
We can all do it !
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Yes we can! Very positive Petal.
LaMaria said:
Do or do not, there is no try.
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I have always liked that quote, but sometimes it seems to me to be too simplistic, just trying can be pretty good sometimes. I guess all is not black and white.

No binge here today, and not too badly tempted. I am starting to feel better but still need to find a way to exercise, maybe I'll try walking.

Lets not binge tomorrow.
 
alligatorob said:
I have always liked that quote, but sometimes it seems to me to be too simplistic, just trying can be pretty good sometimes. I guess all is not black and white.
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I agree: there has to be some kindness and room for imperfection. Well done not binging!
 
I binged. Not an extreme amount of calories but I overate by probably a quarter for dinner and an hour and a half later while still feeling very full went to the grocery store for icecream. Two largish portions. Didn´t get the huge amount I´d normally have bought and didn´t add toppings so it´s not as bad as it could´ve been but it was unnecessary. Or maybe it was necessary to get it out of the way. Whatever it was it was a binge. Hmpf. Try to get back on track right away and just ignore my nervousness about the job situation. Oh, wait, that´s suppressing feelings and leaving myself vulnerable for emotional eating and I wasn´t going to do that anymore! So I´ll just put words to the feeling: I´m afraid I´ll lose my job and have to start job hunting again. Which triggers the fear of being "found out" as completely useless and worthless. I know that´s nonsense and it´s not like I´m not going to find any job at all but the process of putting togeter my resumé, sending it out to possible employers, and interviewing pokes at all my insecurities with a great big sharp stick. I hate it with the power of a thousand suns. Because it opens me up to critical review and rejection. And there´s nothing I fear more than to be found worthless. I don´t even know why; it´s not like I think that I objectively have no skills. Anyway, that may become a bit of a running theme for me in the next couple of weeks as I try to face my fears instead of numbing them with sugar.
 
Lama I came here to check on you to see if you are ok and I can see you are not . And ok you had a binge albeit not a large portion and no topping so good on that .
I can relate to all you have said about the job hunting as I would feel pretty much the same . I know I’m largely scared to go lol for something else . However we need to address you now and getting you through the next month if indeed you are not going to know what’s happening .
Ok realistically and practically if you were to lose your job do you know if there are more vacancies in your line of work ?

And by the way you are not worthless you are a complete inspiration and genuine and from what I can read from here brillaint at your job and very hard working and committed .
 
:iagree: with absolutely everything that Petal said. Tell yourself that you are the genuine, strong, smart woman that we know you are & treat yourself accordingly. Hold your head high, hon & keep doing what you do well (& no more binging.) :grouphug:
 
Thank you so much, Petal and Cate; you made my cry there. I'll try and take care of myself the best I can. I know I'll feel safer if I update my resumé and log into the job search site this weekend so that's what I plan to do. One of the side effects of being terrified of interviewing is that in the past I always put off starting my search until the last possible moment, which only makes the process more stressful. So I'm going to try and take the edge off. Having an updated resumé at the ready has never hurt anyone, anyway. And putting things off just makes me more prone to binging.
 
Hey LaMa, sorry about the binge, all you can do now is move on and try not to do it tomorrow, and keep trying to understand things. I think you can do that. Your binges don't sound all that bad, is it something you could just plan and work into your diet? Eating more calories and deserts now and then? Planned might feel better and be less bingeish.

It sounds like you would be wise to start a new job search, I know you have not been all that happy at your current place, maybe time to move on even if you are wrong about losing your job. Starting a job search may give you a feeling of control, that should help.

And I agree with Cate and Petal completely, to the right employer you will be a valued asset. You care about your clients and you are competent, your employer's problems aren't yours. I think all of us have feelings of insecurity, usually not rationale, just remember that, you are fine!

I did not binge today, and for Thanksgiving I think I did pretty well.

Lets not binge tomorrow.
 
Just quickly checking in LaMa yes more wise words there from Rob and Cate too and from yourself too which is good. I think you are going to indeed turn this into an opportunity no matter how it plays out and it's good you will at least have an up to date resume on file and an idea of what is available. Keep talking and writing and you will get through this.
I remember writing about my fear of public speaking a while ago and how it hinders me in lime and I'm pretty sure you would have given me some good feedback at the time. I must look when I have time !!
 
alligatorob said:
Your binges don't sound all that bad, is it something you could just plan and work into your diet?
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This was definitely not a bad one and I do have treats pretty regularly. The main reason this was a binge was that a) it was purely to numb the unpleasant feelings, and b) I ate until I was uncomfortably full and still went out to get more.
I want to take a course in March that'll explain in detail what it would take for me to work as a self-employed therapist in this country (looked up the center offering the course this morning and put their calendar on the couch so I can't forget to actually book it tonight). But I was hoping - scratch that: I still hope to get a safe start with a half-employed, half-independent period. I'm not great with stress and the angst of starting out with a completely empty schedule wouldn't be good for me at all. I really am not afraid I won't find a job; I'm afraid of the search process and of having to take something with brutal conditions. Workers's rights really haven't been doing well under the pressure of asshole politicians who pretend to be all for the little man (of the right color, heritage, connections, and lifestyle; also note man, not woman).
 
Also: thank you so much for checking in, Petal (was in a rush earlier). My instinct is to curl up and hide in a corner when I have worries and fears but it really does help to talk about them.
 
Food was good, certainly. I skipped breakfast and had a normal lunch and dinner. Wasn't too hungry during the morning, either. The scale was up 0.9 kg from yesterday, mostly from being bloated after my binge. Curious to see what it says tomorrow. I did not binge today.
 
It amazes me how the scales can change so dramatically In a day . Well done Lama on not binging today . Me neither . I was too busy to think about food much today
 
When I see how busy and complicated modern life is I sometimes wish we could be hunter-gatherers. But then I remember about infant mortality, parasites, food insecurity, and the plain joy of being able to look up things I'm curious about and realize there are reasons why things changed.
 
Petal and LaMa, good for you!

LaMa, I see you are contemplating becoming an independent therapist, there are certainly a lot of advantages to doing that. I am an independent consulting engineer, and my wife is an independent therapist (social worker, not physical). It has worked very well for me, for my wife it is a bit of a mixed bag. The difference is in her business, like yours I think, you only see people one hour at a time, it takes a lot of work to book and bill one hour at a time. My engagements are fewer but larger. She probably makes about the same money as someone working for an agency does, some days less, some days more. The big advantage to independence is you are your own boss, or its an advantage sometimes anyway. Best of luck to you with that.

I did not binge today, and was not too tempted. Lately I have to worry more about letting my guard down than fighting strong urges. Not that the strong ones are gone, but they are less frequent than they used to be and I am better able to resist. What is challenging now is keeping my guard up against eating too much at regular meals.
 
alligatorob said:
I did not binge today, and was not too tempted. Lately I have to worry more about letting my guard down than fighting strong urges. Not that the strong ones are gone, but they are less frequent than they used to be and I am better able to resist. What is challenging now is keeping my guard up against eating too much at regular meals.
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Psychologically I think that´s great progress. Binging is an unhealthy activity but your body wanting to eat maintenance calories instead of restricting is a normal biological urge, even if we don´t like it.
alligatorob said:
The difference is in her business, like yours I think, you only see people one hour at a time, it takes a lot of work to book and bill one hour at a time.
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We usually bill people for 6-10 sessions in a row, most independent therapists used to have people pay after each session, cash, to make sure they never have to run after unpaid bills, but I think that´s been made more difficult. One of the things I´ll be finding out soon enough - and definitely a reason why I´ve not taken this step earlier. Doing that course will hopefully give me a bit more confidence in my ability to deal with the paperwork.
 
LaMa ate you a physiotherapist? Private ones here in Ireland make a fortune. I pay 60 euro for 30 mins. And you pay as you go and normally book 6 in advance .

Think that's a hard transition Rob not overeating at regular meals. But you are doing really good at that. I find adding my veg to plate first is actually great as it cuts down on room for the calorie carb stuff . I filled my plate last night first with carrot broccoli and onions , then added my beef and lastly a small spoon of potato . I actually couldn't finish it I was so full.
 
We´re generally closer to 80€ an hour, which is still enough IF you have enough clients. Starting from scratch you´re not going to have a lot of people of course, which is why I would have wanted to start part-employed, part-independent. I´m not sure I´m cut out to be self-employed in the first place, because of my anxiety and aversion to paperwork, but financially you definitely pay dearly for the relative safety of being an employee with a little less responsibility.
 
Good article, Rob.
 
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