🦋 My's Journey 🦋

TopazCutie

TopazCutie

Active member
I write on paper (random thoughts, really) but I figured I can start a digital journal for some accountability. My current stats are 5’6, 171.4 pounds, and my goal is to be just shy of 140 lbs as that’s when I truly feel my absolute best.
I can’t believe my weight has ballooned up during covid but I have a lot of grace for myself! I am super excited to do this!! My apartment gym opened not too long ago, I was gifted an Apple Watch for my birthday, and I have all of the flashy gymshark and sweet sweat attire. I know it’s kinda cliche but looking good helps me feel excited to workout, it works for me.

As for exercise, it will be a mix of HIIT strength and cardio workouts. Diet is straight forward, clean and more fruits and veggies, less sugary foods and stuff that was engineered to become addicting. More water and things that fill me up but also make me feel good after eating them.
 
Welcome back TC. I think the “norm” is putting on weight during COVID. Good for you getting back on track. Happy & healthy New Year 🥳
 
Ahh I know what you mean about having nice kit and that making you more motivated! Welcome back and good luck!
 
Happy New Year! Just finished an hour long cardio workout (treadmill + elliptical). Excited to jump into things head first and make the most of this fresh start while remaining consistent until I reach my goal and beyond. Started the day right with a nice smoothie with flaxseeds.
 
Yesterday was the first time in a long time that I felt like I had a genuinely good day eating wise. I woke up feeling good because of that too. It's literally a cycle of habits - and it's up to me to make it a good one!

Now that all the festivities are done and it's the dead of winter I can really focus on saving money and eating properly. Life has a very low chance of getting in the way. Yes there's a whole pandemic. But it doesn't seem to be going away any time soon. All I can do is keep my immune system as strong as possible. I'm about to go grocery shopping, I'm planning to do a whole haul lol I didn't do any grocery shopping over the break so this will be quite the haul and I'm excited to replenish the goods and set myself up for success.
 
Keeping our immune systems robust by being as healthy as we can is a good idea at any time, but I think that the pandemic has made us more aware of that. One thing I have changed because of it is online grocery shopping. It has reduced my impulse buying & saved me money. Sure they remind me "have you forgotten something?" but often I have. I also do a fruit & veg shop at a little store in town that sells mostly local produce. I use an app & add things as I think of them & go back to it when I want to actually get the stuff. You can save lists of regulars & all of your past shops are there. Do you have something similar?
 
@Cate You're the second person to recently suggest this to me - one being a friend IRL and she swears by Instacart. I haven't tried it, I genuinely enjoy grocery shopping in the flesh with my mom and sis. But I I really should try because I don't drive. Thanks :)
 
Yesterday's haul was a success, a few specialty items I'll have to go to Healthy Planet for but I got like 97% of what I need for the time being. I started the new year with a sense of calm and certainty that I'll finally reach my goal this year. It is written. I just need to trust the process!

Today is my last day off from work. Plan is to be productive as possible before starting back up. The break gave me a lot of much needed rest and clarity.
 
You sound so positive & determined to succeed, TC. I am glad that your break was so reinvigorating for you. Do you ever meditate? I started yesterday. It felt good to feel so calm & at peace.
 
Cate said:
You sound so positive & determined to succeed, TC. I am glad that your break was so reinvigorating for you. Do you ever meditate? I started yesterday. It felt good to feel so calm & at peace.
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Yes I meditate daily! Yesterday I actually did a guided meditation on youtube, it was amazing and included some breathwork too. Very helpful stuff! And yeah I'm naturally an optimistic and positive person, but especially after being recharged from the holidays :) Hope you had a good holiday @Cate!
 
Yesterday made the best air fryer salmon and sauteed cabbage. It was so good!! I have been sleeping on cabbage but I'm woke now lol. I always gravitated toward broccoli as my go-to, but there are so many other veggies to dive into. I've been pescatarian since the start of the new year, feeling pretty good I'm going to see how long I can stick to this - mind you I was never really a big meat eater but I did notice since I moved into my new apartment (and gained the weight) my consumption of beef, chicken and pork went up also, typically fast food but often cooked too - lots of oil either way. So I'm curious to see how my body will respond if I start incorporating more seafood and veggies back into my diet again and minimize the things that are weighing me down, literally.
 
I'm going to try to remember to meditate each day from now on. Finding a class would be good to help me get into the habit.
I just couldn't live without a variety of veggies. I just love them. I especially love Wombok cabbage. It's so versatile. We often make up a coleslaw mix (without any dressing) with grated carrot, finely chopped snow peas, red onion & fennel, celery leaves & use it to make either a salad or a stir-fry, whichever we feel like at the time.
 
It was damn hard to get to this point mentally. Thinking back to the "old me", the version of myself that was using food as a self-sabotage. Now it's completely different like night at day. Food is fuel and my decision to use it properly can help me reach my goal - if I let it. But being in that bad state of self sabotage is so crazy because it's like you know you're hurting yourself and making bad choices but you can't really stop. It's so hard to start up again after falling off. It can take months of predetermination to finally act. I never ever want to be there again. I remember wanting to be healthy but feeling like I've "tried everything" so I was bored of trying. I tricked myself into thinking I was more productive binging on sugar daily. But the holidays really changed something in me - something I never want to lose again - a sense of genuine self-love for the first time in my 30's. Don't get me wrong, my 30's have been good so far but I haven't fully loved myself enough to break out of those comfortable bonds. I loved myself and wanted to make myself happy and comfortable. But really that was self sabotage. Now, I love myself more than that - I love myself enough to temporarily make myself uncomfortable for the greater good! So yeah, it's confirmed that work stress was the culprit in my weight gain - because once I took away work I naturally wanted to eat better. So now my attitude when it comes to work has to change. No stressing, especially over someone else's company. Don't feel the need to do everything. Just do your best. People are kind and I work in a remote, drama free environment - I relaly should be taking advantage of the fact I work from home. I have my own kitchen and can make food at any time. I don't have family around judging my food choices. I don't have anyone coming home with temptations. I literally have everything on my side - I MUST do this!!!
 
Last night I felt hungry after my intermittent fasting feeding window so I had some veggies and dip, and mint tea. That really did the trick. I'm happy that I've unlearned "I'm hungry, time to binge" and now I just eat enough to feel good and not hungry anymore, while giving my body a chance to heal. I am super grateful to be back in the proper frame of mind, I'll do anything to defend this especially in the early stages as the habit and mindset is still forming.

I looked up some recipes online to try out, and add to my favourites/tried and true meal plan. Eating healthy doesn't have to be boring at all. It can be flavourful, and even better than eating out. That's how it should be for sustainable change in the long run.
 
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Work stress is back in full effect. The break allowed me to put everything on the backburner, and my plate is back up and ready to be served. I do feel energized to take it all on though. Love a challenge! I do notice I have the urge to not eat anything because I'm too busy. which should be fine right since I'm trying to lose weight - WRONG!!!! This was my biggest mistake of 2021 - and I would be remiss if I didn't learn from it. I have the MOST progress when I eat healthy foods in abundance, and eat even when I don't "feel like it" or when I have a lot on my plate. For breakfast I'll have 2 slices toast with eggs and a fruit smoothie.
 
Breakfast was great, had a little chocolate in the afternoon. My work is in full effect, tons of meetings and fighting fires. Back in the day I would stress eat but by having a solid meal plan it avoids my temptations to run downstairs to the nearest donut shop for a double-double and box of donut holes in the name of "productivity". If there's one thing we're not doing in 2022 is putting our company above our own health (mental AND physical). Last year I did it but I'm never doing that again especially not for someone else's company. But that said I do like the job and opportunities. Excited to see what the future holds.
 
Current weight is 168.6 - more importantly I already see a difference in my skin, my digestion. I feel less bloated in my midsection. The sad part is my apartment gym closed temporarily. I'll have to start back working out in my apartment - 30 min HIIT workouts. I've been failing at getting up early this week but I'll keep trying. Eating is going well overall, I feel so much better already being pescatarian and limiting the top inflammatory foods, and also I've been paying attention to my emotional eating habits and doing something to fix it which worked for me last night. It's Friday, almost the weekend. Thank God.
 
Lunch was avocado toast with 2 fried eggs. SO good. Super filling! I found a gluten free bread at my local healthy planet - it tastes like regular bread to me. Also loving la croix sparking water in peach-pear flavour, that's been my go-to lunch drink to have with my meal.

Proud of myself for not eating any fast food this week - this is the longest I've gone without eating any since I could remember. I'm not talking about the bad stuff I'm talking about the insidious stuff like double doubles, bagels and pastries filled with sugar, salt and packed with calories. I feel so much better and lighter without those tings. I might have a family dinner tonight, but we'll see. I haven't seen them in a while though, miss them and the cats. Work has been info overload today. Very busy and lots to do. But I'm doing alright. The whole company seems to have a lull getting back from the break.
 
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