Just get it done.

Hi, Bunny. Do you think you would be able to eat better if you moved in with your bf? It's concerning that your son is underweight. Concentrating on your health & wellbeing, including taking your meds regularly sounds like a good thing to concentrate on. I'm glad you are not throwing yourself into HIT & the gym. Walks & good nutrition sound like a better focus.
 
Cate said:
Hi, Bunny. Do you think you would be able to eat better if you moved in with your bf? It's concerning that your son is underweight. Concentrating on your health & wellbeing, including taking your meds regularly sounds like a good thing to concentrate on. I'm glad you are not throwing yourself into HIT & the gym. Walks & good nutrition sound like a better focus.
Click to expand...
Yes, I definitely think so. My boyfriend cooks and I don't like to as much as him but I also cook. My mom doesn't. Yes, I didn't think about walks but I just might.
 
I left my medicine at home yesterday and didn't take it until late at night. I had a meltdown today too, but I don't think it was the meds, I don't like to blame things like that on it because it feels like I'm not taking accountability. My boyfriend and I started(I started it) arguing over something quite small and because I ruminate and over analyze, I turned it into something big. I believe I am sometimes toxic. I want to stop it.

I made a conscoius effort to get my 64 oz of water in. I took a 64 oz water bottle to work and it made it pretty easy to finish. I actually woke up thirsty just now. It's weird.

Still eating like crap lol. I had two slices of pizza for breakfast from a place I don't like. The rest of the day wasn't so bad. I had like 6 cookies which is a lot, but I was proud of myself for telling my coworkers to take the rest from me :ROFLMAO: then I had shrimp scampi for lunch and half a chicken shwarma wrap for dinner. My body feels full and gross as I type this(2:50) and its been like 5 or 6 hours since my last meal.

I finished at least three things from my list of like 13. Two things are in progress. It definitely relieved some pressure because I made sure to do the stuff I dread the most first.
 
Last edited:
Eating healthily & walking (& taking your meds) will make a difference, bunny. Have you talked to your BF about -
ChocolateBunny said:
My boyfriend and I started(I started it) arguing over something quite small and because I ruminate and over analyze, I turned it into something big. I believe I am sometimes toxic. I want to stop it.
Click to expand...
Communication is very important in a relationship & if you can get that right you are a better chance of making it work.
 
Cate said:
Eating healthily & walking (& taking your meds) will make a difference, bunny. Have you talked to your BF about -

Communication is very important in a relationship & if you can get that right you are a better chance of making it work.
Click to expand...
I've edited this several times, I just understood your question. I don't think I've said it simply as that. I'll try to talk to him about it tomorrow.
 
Last edited:
Yesterday felt so good. I had told my job I’d be there at 2 PM because I had a doctor’s appointment. I arrived at 11:12 AM instead. That’s only 12 minutes past my shift. Everyone was confused when I walked in. My doctor’s appointment was at 10:15 AM.

I had woken up late—an hour before I had to get out the house, washed up both me and my son, gave him a snack and milk and left on time. This is a big deal because I have never gotten us both ready that quick without foregoing showers and his breakfast.

After my doctor’s appointment, I even had time to stop by a coffee shop and grab a cold lavender latte and a slice of coffee cake. Then I had a free donut for lunch…and yeah that’s all I had for yesterday. 😅 I didn’t even drink water because I left my water jug at home and I didn’t want to buy water.
 
I’m growing suspicious of my mental diagnosis as just depressed and anxious. I’ve been having meltdowns and rage attacks since I was 10 years old. I looked up if my medicine that I take is also used to treat bipolar disorder. It is.

I’m afraid of losing my boyfriend. I scream a lot and cry a lot. I’ve hit myself. I’ve done crazy things. Said crazy things. When I was 17, I had feared this. That I’d have a kid and a husband and have meltdowns in front of them.

Although I started taking my meds in August, it’s extra refills that I just never took, I’m not in contact with my psychiatrist. After Thursday, I plan on reaching out to her ASAP. My meltdown was so bad that my boyfriend rode down a one way street in the wrong direction. :cry: I don’t think it was a coincidence that I had missed my dose that morning.
 
Last edited:
ChocolateBunny said:
Although I started taking my meds in August, it’s extra refills that I just never took, I’m not in contact with my psychiatrist. After Thursday, I plan on reaching out to her ASAP. My meltdown was so bad that my boyfriend rode down a one way street in the wrong direction. :cry: I don’t think it was a coincidence that I had missed my dose that morning.
Click to expand...
Sending you big hugs. Really glad to hear you will be reaching out to your psychiatrist. Do you get any sort of counselling as well? I have had A LOT of struggles along the way and CBT has really helped and now ACT is really helping me further...I also feel like a good healthy lifestyle has helped me a lot but it took me a while to get there.
 
liza3 said:
Sending you big hugs. Really glad to hear you will be reaching out to your psychiatrist. Do you get any sort of counselling as well? I have had A LOT of struggles along the way and CBT has really helped and now ACT is really helping me further...I also feel like a good healthy lifestyle has helped me a lot but it took me a while to get there.
Click to expand...
Thank you 🙏🏽 I have had around 4 therapists since 2011. They weren’t really transparent with me about their methods. I didn’t like the ones that had me mainly talking because I just felt they were just listening to me complain. I also didn’t like some suggestions on how I should respond to others because I knew that those people wouldn’t respond well to those suggestions either. I had a college counselor that I liked though.

Perhaps I should specifically look for therapists who do those methods.
 
ChocolateBunny said:
Thank you 🙏🏽 I have had around 4 therapists since 2011. They weren’t really transparent with me about their methods. I didn’t like the ones that had me mainly talking because I just felt they were just listening to me complain. I also didn’t like some suggestions on how I should respond to others because I knew that those people wouldn’t respond well to those suggestions either. I had a college counselor that I liked though.

Perhaps I should specifically look for therapists who do those methods.
Click to expand...
You might want to talk to your psychiatrist too about what methods they think might be specifically helpful for you..
I hear a lot about DBT as well but have never tried it...
I used a lot of self help books as well as group therapy and both those were really helpful for me too.
I know it can be hard to find a good counsellor--I went through quite a few that I didn't click with...I actually preferred group therapy in the end as it was nice to connect with others who were going through similar struggles.
 
Not going to talk much about what I ate over the weekend (it wasn’t that bad) 🤣 but I did finally go grocery shopping. I caved this morning though and bought a pumpkin spiced donut and a pumpkin spiced latte at a shitty fast food chain coffee/donut house. However, I cooked some chicken this morning with an Indian butter sauce and made a butter chicken “wrap”. I added Spanish rice and avocado to the wrap. That was my lunch. I’ve been drinking on my 64 oz. water jug.

I’ll try to end today on a good note. I’m really not hungry so maybe I could eat some roasted veggies, drink some tea and call it a day. Perhaps, even exercise because I’ve been feeling an urge to since last week but I have some minor cleaning to do and training for work so we’ll see.
 
liza3 said:
I hear a lot about DBT as well but have never tried it...
Click to expand...
I’ve never heard of it actually.
liza3 said:
I used a lot of self help books as well as group therapy and both those were really helpful for me too.
Click to expand...
I need to up my reading! I don’t read at all but I really want to. I wanted to read “The Art of Not Giving a F*ck”. Any recommendations? I’ve done group therapy once. It was kinda fun.
 
ChocolateBunny said:
I need to up my reading! I don’t read at all but I really want to. I wanted to read “The Art of Not Giving a F*ck”. Any recommendations? I’ve done group therapy once. It was kinda fun.
Click to expand...
I don't really have any specific recommendations. Personally I really like workbooks that address my specific issues...I find doing the exercises really helpful if you are a self-motivated type. I have used a few different cbt workbooks, but there also ones for DBT as well. I was helping a friend through one that was geared towards bipolar. That can be nice too if you have a friend with similar issues to work through one together.
But yeah if you aren't that motivated to actually work through a book on your own, therapy can be a better route....or sometimes therapy working with books even better! I was part of a couple of group therapy ones where we were working through CBT workbooks addressing anxiety and depression. That was excellent and very helpful!
All these options can be good to discuss with your psychiatrist when you reach out to her...
 
So two days ago, I didn’t end it on a good note. Instead, I opened a bag of chips for a party this Saturday and had fries. ;_;

Yesterday, wasn’t so bad. For breakfast, I had an English muffin with two scrambled eggs, a little bit of cheese and tomato. I ate chicken, rice, string beans, and potatoes for lunch. I had 5 cookies, so I skipped dinner(wasn’t hungry anyway) and gave my bf the rest.

I weighed myself this morning, I’m 119.4lbs(54.2kg). This is about 9lbs(4kg) higher than I was when I joined this website last November. However, the highest I’ve been this year is 127lbs(57.6kg) so I’ve been slowly losing weight once I stopped overeating. I’m sure I’m lower than 119.4lbs(54.2kg) because I need to make a BM but my digestion is shit unless I eat “clean”.
 
Yesterday morning, my mom had a stroke at work. She was sent to the ER. The doctor said strokes are caused by eating too many unhealthy fats.

My grandma was sent to the same ER yesterday as well, her blood sugar was 400. It should be no higher than 180.

This morning was irritating. I locked myself out of the house. I have to stop by my grandma’s after I pick my son up from daycare for a key. I’m resisting the urge to ask my bf to order me an Uber so that I can get home in a reasonable time. Affirmation: I can fix my own problems. I can do things I don’t want to do but that are good for me.

I made a smoothie to help me make a BM and I spilt the smoothie in my lunch bag that I also used as a purse. It went from a 12oz to an 8oz smoothie.

sorry if my paragraphs are separated weirdly. I type on my phone. I vaguely remember it looking different on the computer, like there was too much space
 
Llama said:
Oh wow, that must be so stressful! All the best to your mom and grandma.
Click to expand...
Thank you 😊 My grandma went home yesterday. My mom has to stay another day.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top