Just get it done.

I haven't checked in a for a little over a week because I've been stressed with my school work(even though I didn't do any) and interviews. I was keeping in mind my eating though and my weight. This week, I started off at 122.4, which is a 1lb(.5) difference from the week before. I also didn't exercise or do yoga. When I'm anxious, I don't feel like I have time to invest in myself but I still seem to remain a lazy bum and not get the work I need to get done, done.

Day 15 • 04.25.22
On Tuesday, I went overboard on the snacks(a large bag of caramel popcorn, can of chips, and an energy drink) and ruined my stomach. The next day, I had to eat gentle foods such as oatmeal and banana.

Day 19 • 04.30.22 • 122.6?(55.6?)
Yesterday(Saturday), I weighed myself and was taken aback when the scale said 122.6(55.6), then I realized it was skewed because my breast were full of breastmilk 🤣 I'm probably always a few ounces heavier due to this but yesterday, I was really full!

I haven't bought ice cream since Halo. I don't want anything in my house I can binge on. Yesterday, I made banananice cream!!! I liked that I had to actually make it. It helps with portion control. If I wanted more, it's not readily available. I also ate straight from a halved, FRESH watermelon with a spoon. The juice was so sweet and fresh.

Day 20 • 05.01.22 • 121.4(55)
Today, I weighed myself and I was 121.4(55) which is good because my goal is to lose 1-2lbs(.5-.9kg) a week. Ask me at the start of this journey and I would've said 3-4lbs(1.4-1.8kg) a week but I feel like a slow weightloss will help me maintain and be a reflection of building strong, healthy habits.

In a month, I could lose 4-8lbs(1.8-3.6kg). In 3 months, I could reach my goal of 103(46.7).

This morning, I made a smoothie bowl and ate two mini zuchinni blueberry muffins. Then I had a chai latte. Good start.

Banananice Cream Recipe
+Two Frozen Sliced Bananas*
+1 TBSP of Maple Syrup
+2 tsp of Vanilla Extract
+2 TBSP of Chocolate Syrup**

*I wait for the banana peels to turn completely brown. Idk, I read it somewhere, some time ago. The mushy parts are sweeter.
**Most recipes call for cocoa powder but this is what I had on hand, I think I will keep it this way. But cacao powder has way less calories(24 calories for two tbsp versus 110 for chocolate syrup). I might try it some day.
NZ_6EOgd5PsZVsNxBB2t6FCKJDr-SUy4BR1yz3OtRHp4VZTmuLtvjztJh9DY00p4w646mUGjhOzxiZ-YhE-N8Td-2PRigVB6QX6Z_E-KcjdCDyqepKLDAIRmNfhUfQFjP-QMNDH_dvqXrExogw
​
 
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I love fresh fruit & would prefer to just eat a banana I must admit. Slow weight loss is much more sustainable & you will do well to lose slowly & not be in too much of a hurry. How old is your son, Bunny?
 
Cate said:
I love fresh fruit & would prefer to just eat a banana I must admit.
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As opposed to eating ice cream?? I honestly don't care for fruit, especially bananas. I'm more of a veggie person. However, I consider the banana and banananice cream as two different things. I want it to replace ice cream, not bananas. Subsequently, it does work out in my favor like that since I don't like bananas.

Cate said:
How old is your son, Bunny?
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He'll be a year and 4 months in a week :)

Sorry for the late reply.
 
Continuation of Day 20 • 05.01.22
Sooooo last Sunday, I started off well. I was like hmmm, I've been eating good for a whole week. I should be able to have a big ol' cheat meal. It wasn't even crazy. But it was a 10 oz (283.5 g) cheese stuffed burger and a decadent cookie with like a scoop of ice cream on top. And I'll admit, I was satiated halfway through the burger and before the cookie but I can put it down on real food. I can eat three meals at once if I want to. But I thought I couldn't gain a crazy amount of weight in one day. Well...

Day 22 05.03.22 • 123.4 (56)
Tuesday, I weighed myself and I was back to where I freakin' started!! Usually, I'd eat how I want because of feeling discouraged but I kept my cool and ate well.

Day 24 • 05.05.22
Started the day off with 2 egg fritattas with hot sauce and a bowl of cereal. I landed a job at my preferred company(a daycare) and it was teacher appreciation week. I was there to sign paperwork and shamelessly asked for a burger they were grilling for the staff. I had a small bag of cheetos too and felt guilty because it was 330...remember when I said I aim for my meals to be 450 calories? If I'm going to have a desert, I'd rather spend that amount on something I really, really like. Later on, my boyfriend convinced me to have a small ice cream dessert. How nerve-wracking. I ate it and made it my last food, kinda. He bought a chicken shwarma wrap for me to eat tomorrow, I was tempted to eat it, took a few bites and then put it back in the fridge because I knew I wasn't hungry, I just really like chicken shwarma.

I don't think I overate today.

Day 25 • 05.06.22
Friday, a BOSS day. Had a smoothie bowl with granola, a zuchinni banana chocolate muffin, and a London fog tea. Ate my chicken shwarma wrap before going to work. Came home after work and had half a chicken pesto sandwhich. This is important because I've heard that other foreign counries typically only eat half a sandwhich or in the form of an open faced sandwhich. Usually I eat a whole sandwhich. The sandwhich was hearty but also healthy.

I went to bed satiated.

Day 26 • 05.07.22 • 122.4 (55.5)
So I'm getting back down to the weight I was last week. I'm not really celebrating because I hate that I had to restart from that high weight to begin with. I'll probably be back down to 121.4 by Monday. I know I need to make a bowel movement and my breasts were a little heavy from milk. It's hard to keep this in consideration when I weigh myself.

I think I've been good with intuitive eating. The more I'm mindful about what I put in my body, feelings of satisfaction and overall being mentally well, the better I eat. Counting all these calories is irritating and I don't think it'll be useful till I get to a lower BMI. I think if I eat intuitively, I'll be within my 1300 bracket anyway.

I'll drink some Smoothe Move tea, tonight.
 
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Congratulations on getting the job you wanted :party:

And I'm glad to hear that you feel like you can trust your hunger/satiety cues!
 
Week 4's Objectives
+ continue to try to drink more water
+eat more veggies
+hygenic pampering
+take depression med
​
I haven't been exercising or doing yoga. I'll focus on that after this Week 4, when school is over. I also need to drink more water. I just forget and don't push myself.

The most veggies I've had Week 3 was an ocassional salad as a meal. I've been decent with fruits through smoothies though.

I love pampering myself just always run out of time. But I think it's important for my overall health and retention of youth. I've been on depression meds for 3.5 years now and you wouldn't have known because I'll take it for a few days and then quit because I keep skipping days!! I'm SO bad with habit building such as doing yoga everyday or even pampering myself.

My 1 liter glass bottle arrived the week before last(Week 2) and it broke the next day. A replacement bottle is only $12 and the colored sleeve is what makes it expensive. However, a man called himself helping me and something to me to stop him, but I didn't and he threw the sleeve away because it had glass in it. It's so expensive, I would've carried it home anway. Damn. I'm buying a new one, I don't care. Now I know to carry it in my purse.

The week before last was so crazy and I didn't get to talk about it on here because I've been gone, doing a lot of work trying to catch up in school, pack up the house for moving, and going to job interviews. It was crazy because I have a crappy transcript and the two interviews I went to asked for it so I became anxious and just dissappointed in myself. I didn't follow up with the second company(I never gave them my transcript nor emailed them afterwards) because they were a Chinese company(didn't know) and I didn't think I stood a chance being Black and having a crappy transcript. If I'm Black and apply for a Chinese company, I have to have my shit together. They were also kind of cold during the interview and I don't want to work for a result driven daycare, all they cared about was raising scores instead of giving a warm enviornment.

Offnote: They chose my application because my resume says I speak low level Chinese. My grandma bought me Rosetta Stone this week in which I have access to all the languages on the conditon that I read a specfic set of Bible verses daily, aloud. I'm agnostic but I'll honor her. Thank you, Grandma. 😇 I'll practice after this last week of school.


However, the first company was much nicer and although I didn't score a job at the location I really, really wanted(an afluent hipster area), I gave a follow up email and Week 3 they reached out to me for an interview at another location and I got the job! I like this location as well(it's also hipster). So happy that they gave me a chance. My transcript is bad because I just hate doing work, not because I don't understand the material. But after my struggle with finding a job in my field, I've learned my lesson.

Edit: I'm very weary of mentioning ethnicities. I have nothing against Chinese people.
I just didn't feel good enough to continue my application. ​
 
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Continuation of Day 26 • 05.07.22
I had an energy drink called Monster but it was of the coffee variety that they offer. I try to limit these. Originally I made breakfast, but I was full off the drink so I saved breakfast for lunch.

Lunch was an omlette turned into scrambled eggs because I used too much milk. It was mushrooms, orange bell peppers, and onions with cheese.

Dinner, I had half a chicken pesto sandwhich and a few pieces of ravioli with some pieces of sausages.

I ate a donut. 😅

Still need to drink that Smoothe Move tea.

P.S. Should I stop counting days? I don't really plan on leaving the community even if I reach my goal..but I think I'm just counting the days it takes to reach my goal.
 
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Day 27 • 05.09.22
I never had that Smoothe Move tea last night. But I have made a BM.

For breakfast, I had a peach and mango smoothie with granola. For lunch..I don't know what I had or if I had anything at all and it's truly bothering me. I remember being full for the smoothie and tired that I took a nap during lunch time. I honestly don't think I had a lunch. I ate at 2 PM, which is lunchtime, but it was my last meal of the day.

Around 2 PM, I made half a turkey sandwhich.
My sandwhiches are the same everytime I eat them:
One slice of toasted sourdough bread
One slice of sharp cheddar
Mayonnaise
Two slices of deli turkey meat

I put it in the microwave to melt the cheese.

I took another nap and then at 5 something, I had a small bowel of yogurt, drizzled it with chocolate(the type you put on ice cream) and topped it with a granola called Monster Cookie, it has chocolate pieces in it. Then I went to the store, got a couple of Monster (Mocha) energy drinks to prepare for finals week. I drank one when I got home. It has 300mg of caffeine. I don't plan on eating more for the day; I'm not hungry.

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙
​
I know I said I would wait until after this week to practice Chinese but I've gotten too excited and practiced yesterday and today and I want to practice everyday. I want to be fluent a year from now! I've actually taken Chinese classes 4 times, so I know a lot of words when I read/hear them but I can't converse because I have no one to practice with. Due to it being low in demand, I've taken 101 twice in highschool(two different schools) and once in college and then 102 once in highschool. I wanted to take the 102 in college but it was cancelled due to low demand! I want to travel to China one day and teach for a bit. But I also want to learn 6 other languages, time is of essence!!

Today was Mother's Day in the U.S., btw. I'm actually irritated with all these holidays and the emphasis on gifts.

After posting this, I will FINALLY work on my assignments for the day.
 
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ChocolateBunny said:
I know I said I would wait until after this week to practice Chinese but I've gotten too excited and practiced yesterday and today and I want to practice everyday. I want to be fluent a year from now! I've actually taken Chinese classes 4 times, so I know a lot of words when I read/hear them but I can't converse because I have no one to practice with. Due to it being low in demand, I've taken 101 twice in highschool(two different schools) and once in college and then 102 once in highschool. I wanted to take the 102 in college but it was cancelled due to low demand! I want to travel to China one day and teach for a bit.
Click to expand...
This is so cool! I don't know any Asian languages. When I was in Uni I did Asian studies as my minor and a part of that was an Asian linguistics course that I barely passed (the point was to be able to recognize the different alphabets and to know basics of how languages in general work; as I learn by listening, it was pure hell for me lol). Have fun!
 
Floater said:
This is so cool! I don't know any Asian languages. When I was in Uni I did Asian studies as my minor and a part of that was an Asian linguistics course that I barely passed (the point was to be able to recognize the different alphabets and to know basics of how languages in general work; as I learn by listening, it was pure hell for me lol). Have fun!
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What languages do you know?
 
ChocolateBunny said:
What languages do you know?
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Finnish as my native language, English, Swedish (English and Swedish are mandatory in Finnish primary and middle education), German (went to a German school ages 10-16), and a little bit of French (I took a few courses in Uni but I wasn't very motivated with it haha).
 
Floater said:
Finnish as my native language, English, Swedish (English and Swedish are mandatory in Finnish primary and middle education), German (went to a German school ages 10-16), and a little bit of French (I took a few courses in Uni but I wasn't very motivated with it haha).
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I already knew to expect you to speak more than one 😦 that’s just how it works over by you. You’re more impressive than me. I’m fluent in none.

Americans tend to half-heartedly learn languages in school even if they’ve been learning Spanish for half a decade(me prior to high school). And they don’t immerse themselves either.

My brain picks up on Chinese because each word is a syllable, a sound. And it doesn’t have things like “the” “of” “to”. I never not got far enough to know advanced grammar rules.

I’ve been keeping up with your journal, by the way. Didn’t expect anyone to mention weed on here 😅 thought it was all PG.
 
ChocolateBunny said:
My brain picks up on Chinese because each word is a syllable, a sound. And it doesn’t have things like “the” “of” “to”. I never not got far enough to know advanced grammar rules.
Click to expand...
A start's a start, and I too find that some languages are easier to learn than others. I just can't with French, personally. I'm bad at grammar rules in general..! But yeah I consider myself really lucky when it comes to the Finnish school system. I hope I didn't come across as bragging!
ChocolateBunny said:
I’ve been keeping up with your journal, by the way. Didn’t expect anyone to mention weed on here 😅 thought it was all PG.
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:ROFLMAO: Yeah, well... I stand by decriminalization in my online life as much as IRL. But perhaps next time I should add a TW or spoiler in case some folks don't want to read about that :unsure:
 
Floater said:
But perhaps next time I should add a TW or spoiler in case some folks don't want to read about that :unsure:
Click to expand...
No 🤨 they need to get over it and realize that not everyone who smokes weed asks stupid questions, looks like zombie or can’t function/work. Stuff that was spread by propaganda. If they judge you, that’s completely on them.

Good on you!
 
Day 28 • 05.09.22 • 121.6(55.2)

My stomach hurt so I couldn't eat my two mini fritattas. I gave them to my son; I'm glad he liked them. I had to force myself to finish the smoothie bowl.
I was starving by the end of work. Then I came home and had a little bit of steak with potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots, and green beans.A snack of yogurt drizzled with chocolate and Monster Cookie granola.

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙​

Today (monday) is orientation day of the new job and the last week of my old one (I work two days a week at this one). It was a little overwhelming. I finally learned that I'll be working with babies. I also learned that I have a uniform shirt, it's not ugly but I wish I had known. But not everyone wears it. I'll wear the stupid shirt.

When I came in the room that I'll be training in, the girls didn't direct me. It was very strange because it was my first time meeting them and they didn't update me. They were just painting the babies' faces and then suddenly the director(a daycare principal) was like, "ok, everyone, are you ready?? Let's go." THEY WERE HAVING A CONCERT AT THE PARK. Why couldn't they say, "hey, we're painting their faces because we're about to have a baby concert!" Surprisingly, I felt like I'm going to miss my old(pharmacy technician) job. It was stressful but I don't know how to explain it..kids?..kids everywhere? I hope that explains it. I'm just grateful I have a new one and no matter how I feel, I swear to make the children feel loved.
​
Anyway, THEN, I learned that if I wanted a 30 minute break, it's off the clock because I have to work 8 hours to get a paid break and I'm ONE hour away from that. For 15 minutes, it's paid. So technically, I don't work 35 hours a week. I work 32.5 hours. At my old job, we were unionized and it took 6 hours to get a 30 minute paid break.

I'm considering taking only 15 minute breaks. I may not have time to eat. I would use that time to plug in my earbuds and meditate to destress from the kids. I know I'd be starving. Have a big breakfast??

What would you guys do?
 
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I used to work full-time and only get a 15 minute paid break once a day: I just made sure to have a sandwich with some veggies and protein in it as that would be all I could eat in 15 minutes. It stressed me out a bit but it worked. I couldn't work with babies though, and how weird that nobody actually did any training on your training day! I hope they were just a bit uncoordinated and it's not a sign of things to come.
 
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