J's Journal

MercurialMiss

MercurialMiss

New member
Hi, I'm Jess.
This year I hit my highest weight ever (300lbs) and after I had a good cry I decided to finally do something about it. So 3'ish months ago I decided to go on a 1,200 calorie high protein low carb diet. I've lost 40lbs so far. I had a bit of a set back a week ago (of the stress/over eating kind) and I realized I needed some support from people who understand this struggle. Especially since I have a history of depressive episodes and COVID & winter aren't helping things. My friends mean well BUT they're supportive to the point of enabling and my family (like many) can have a triggering effect on my eating habits. I realize I've used food to cope with stress and I'm trying to deal with it in healthier ways but it's hard when you have no outlet for this very specific frustration. So I went looking for support groups online an this was the only active one I found not trying to bilk people out of money with normal/genuine users. Anyhow, I think that's enough over sharing for now. I look forward to chatting with everyone.
 
Hey Jess, welcome to the forum! I am sure you will fit in fine here, we are just a collection of folks who share the same basic problem, trouble with diet and fitness. I was over 300 lbs when I started here and am now in the 150s, and can honestly say I made it with the support and help of folks here, would not be here without it. You can do something similar I am sure you can.

It would help if you told us more about yourself, your plans and your goals. That would give folks more understanding of where you are. And don't worry about "over sharing", you really can't say too much here. Post what ever comes into your mind, it will help you and help us better understand you.

And this is a place that sells nothing, asks for no money, and in fact our moderators do a very good job of screening people out who do.

Best of luck to you, I am looking forward to reading about your progress!
 
Wow! That's a really amazing accomplishment, congratulations. Thanks for the encouragement.

I honestly didn't start with any goal in mind except "DON'T BE 300 POUNDS!" now I'm just trying to get under 200. From there we'll see. I haven't been under 200 in my adult life so I honestly don't know what my "healthy weight" would be. I'm 5'6" so I've seen it can range from 120-160. I'm trying not to get too hung up on numbers but how I look & feel. When I get there I imagine I'll focus more on maintaining & toning.

That's good to hear, I appreciate their vigilance.
 
Hi, Jess. I think most of us have used food for all of the wrong reasons, instead of the nutrition it should be. I know I'm as guilty as anyone. I hope you like it here. I think you'll find positive support. As Rob says folk here are friendly & helpful & I'm sure you'll fit in just fine :)
 
Welcome to the forum, Jess :) Working on those coping mechanisms is so important, not just for now but for the long term. You can do this!
 
Good morning all,
Today was weigh in day for me. Until I started this I hadn't had a scale in my house ever. So I decided to buy one for weekly check-ins. I'm pleased to report I'm at 260. That's a loss of 3lbs since last week and the halfway mark in my goal of getting under 200 is in sight. I'm trying to be proud instead of beating myself up over the depression pizza & cookie binge earlier last week.

I think I was getting cocky. I'd gone 3 months without a slip from my goals and I told myself I could be responsible with pizza and moderate my portion size to fit my 400cal meal mandate. And I did... for a few hours but I kept thinking about the rest in my fridge and kept justifying why I should be able to have it. Then after I finally gave into it I decided might as well have some cookies too. Ate 2 days worth of calories in one sitting.

I guess I'm relating this because I think it's important for me to look at why I do these things so I can avoid them in the future and for accountability. I have to remember my body has been hooked on sugars & carbs for years and like any addiction there will be triggers and I know now pizza and leftover food are 2 big ones for me.

Anyhow... I hope everyone is good and staying safe out there.
 
If you look around a bit you'll see that different people use their diaries very differently: from just tracking calories/weight/exercise to venting about whatever comes our way it's all good as long as it's what you need to feel supported and to figure out what works for you.
 
Well done Jess on the 3lbs lost already. Don't beat yourself up about anything that has gone before. Just learn from it & move on. Your diary can be what you want it to be. Every diary here is different, just as we all are, but we also have many things in common.
 
Hey Jess, I think you are off to a really great weight loss start, more than just a start really. You are well on your way. You are right to not want to repeat the pizza and cookie thing, but as Cate says no need to beat on yourself about the past, the only thing we can control is the future.

Looking for binge triggers can be a good thing and it has helped many, but me not so much. My problem is I can and have binged on most everything, my only clear trigger is the availability of food. And in our modern world food is always available to us. I do live by a few rules, one is that I do not start eating anything without a predetermined end, and I only very rarely eat junk food. I also closely track my calories to be sure I am on track. I use the myfitnespal app for that, it is a very good one. I did it when I was losing weight and now am still doing it in maintenance. I also log daily and post here daily to stay accountable. The result is after many years of bingeing I have been binge free since May of last year, I have also done a pretty reasonable job of staying on track with calories, not a day over 1,700 yet, most well under. Now we are all different I am just telling you what works for me, it will not be the same for you and is not for others, you need to find your own way. But trying I find that trying what works for others is a great help in finding that way. I also listen to all the support and advice I get here and consider it all, don't always act on it, but I do give it fair consideration.

One thing I have discovered though the calorie tracking is a number of low calorie foods. Foods I can eat a lot of and feel quite full much of the time. For example right now I am eating a lot of broccoli, cauliflower, and squash, all good healthy low carb fillers. Four helpings of the riced cauliflower I eat contains only 100 calories, that much real rice would be 500, and I find I like the cauliflower just fine. This is only an example, there are others, and you may find differently.
MercurialMiss said:
I honestly didn't start with any goal in mind except "DON'T BE 300 POUNDS!" now I'm just trying to get under 200. From there we'll see. I haven't been under 200 in my adult life so I honestly don't know what my "healthy weight" would be. I'm 5'6" so I've seen it can range from 120-160. I'm trying not to get too hung up on numbers but how I look & feel. When I get there I imagine I'll focus more on maintaining & toning.
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Very reasonable! When I started my only goal was to eat right today, and that really still is my goal. Like you I did not really have a real weight goal, sometimes I would say that it was 160 lbs, that was just because it was half my starting weight, and I could remember weighing 160 in high school and feeling good about it. As you say in the end I figured it out when I got there, staying in the 150s is now my goal. You will get there!

It would help to know a little more about you, things like your age, any health issues, and any living situations that might impact your eating, things like that. But only share what you are comfortable sharing, this is a low pressure place.
MercurialMiss said:
I'm trying to be proud instead of beating myself
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You should be proud, you have accomplished a lot, a very impressive weight loss, found a diet that works for you, and started a diary here. I don't know you well yet, but well enough that I am proud of you!
 
I'm really appreciating all the encouragement & tips I've gotten so far. I can already see this was a good idea and as I get more familiar with the board and all of you I hope to interact a bit more.

It was suggested by Rob (Thank you Rob) That I be a little more detail oriented in discussing my diet plan. Which dovetails nicely with the problem I've been having lately.
My "plan" is:
1,200 cal a day (3; 400 cal meals a day, spaced about 5 hours apart)
high protein, low carb, clean foods (I try to avoid processed stuff because it's too easy to mindlessly eat quickly)
I'm using Alli pills (They've taken me from 1-2 lbs a week to 3-4 and I haven't had any of the unpleasant side effects they warn about)
And I give myself 2 "cheat days" on special occasions (so usually once a month)

I'm not much for exercising so I'm mostly controlling everything via diet. I know the closer I get to a healthy weight the more critical it'll be to work out regularly so I'm trying to slip more walking & core exercises in now. Especially since (at 38) I'm concerned about my skin sagging. I don't think I have unrealistic expectations especially in my stomach or inner thigh areas but I'd like to minimize as much of the damage I've done to my body as possible.

Oddly enough COVID has made losing weight easier for me because I come from a big family that frankly stresses me out and being home alone (+cat) with a valid excuse to not subject myself to their drama has been great. I also have a chef mother who shows love through food and who conscious or unconsciously has sabotaged me in the past when I've had noticeable weight loss. It'll be "Are you losing weight? Wow. Good job!" Then that weekend she shows up at my house because she just happened to make too much of something she knows I love. You make the call.

Which brings me back to the "issue." As I mentioned I've allowed myself to have a holiday and the day after off from my diet. Now to prevent a wild binge I pre-plan the meals I'm going to have those days. I just don't measure portions, count calories or worry about when I eat on those days. It's worked well the last couple months but with a celebration-less Christmas & New Year coming up, it being dark and cold I'm getting the blues and as I mentioned using food as an emotional crutch isn't new for me HOWEVER it seems to be taking a new form. Making me hyper focus on my cheat meals (I've already purchase most of the ingredients). What I mean is nothing seems as good, at night I have to talk myself out of eating them and it makes the days creep by where they'd been flying before. I'm also not as excited by my weight loss progress because a part of me wants to use it to justify spending the rest of the month eating whatever I want. "You did so well, you deserve a break" "Things are terrible right now, you deserve whatever gives you comfort" It's insidious!

Logically I know if I do that I'll just get mad at myself and discouraged. Plus when am I going to have a chance like this (to focus on me without outside interference) again? I guess I just don't know if I'm doing something wrong (diet wise), is it a quarantine thing or if this is just a will-power issue? I wanna be happy and looking forward not fixating on food all the time. I look forward to any helpful tips or insight. Thanks.
 
Great job so far - I think your plan looks sound.

Personally about 90% of my weight loss has come from my diet, but exercising has really helped improve my mental outlook (and given me something else to fixate on beside food). That said, I didn't exercise at all for the first 3 months and I very gradually ramped it up from there.
 
I agree with Err, you are doing great, and most weight loss is diet related. Exercise is good for you in many ways and can help a bit with weight loss, but its the calories in that has the most effect.

You are off to a really good start here, just keep on posting and doing well! And don't worry too much about that sagging skin, I have plenty of it and know its a whole lot better than the alternative. You are younger than I, at 38 yours will not be as bad as mine.
 
Loose skin or not seems to be mostly genetic so as unpleasant as the idea can be thinking about too much just doesn't make a lot of difference. I have lose loose skin - not from losing weight but from mostly fixing my eczema after many years of swelling - on my hands of all places. It is what it is. If it worries you Obese to Beast (on Youtube) has a couple of interesting videos on his channel where he discusses his.
The urge to overeat may well have to do with stress and dark months, in which case getting outside and getting some gentle exercise every day might help, or it might just be a side-effect of losing a lot of weight and still being on low calories. Do you eat the same things a lot of the time? Changing up recipes and finding new delicious "allowed" foods can help you feel less deprived sometimes.
 
LaMaria said:
The urge to overeat may well have to do with stress and dark months, in which case getting outside and getting some gentle exercise every day might help, or it might just be a side-effect of losing a lot of weight and still being on low calories. Do you eat the same things a lot of the time? Changing up recipes and finding new delicious "allowed" foods can help you feel less deprived sometimes.
Click to expand...

I think you're right. I've been trying to switch my meals up the last few days (I was in a bit of a rut) and I'm feeling more on track. Thanks for the tip.

I'll be sure to check out those "Obese to Beast" videos too.
 
hi MM... i have been on an intermittent fasting diet for a little over 2 years. i like to offer anyone on any diet a suggestion. intermittent fasting (IF) is based on controlling your body's insulin reaction to eating. in short, insulin is what helps your body control blood sugar. too much sugar (any food will eventually turn into a form of sugar your body uses for energy, not just sugar) and after what can be stored in your muscle tissue and liver, insulin will start storing it as fat (glycolysis). IF takes advantage of this digestive certainty by depleting the glycogen in your body to a point it is forced into getting energy by burning fat (gluconeogenesis). this starts to happen after about 12-14 hours of taking in no calories.... aka fasting.

so i know this isn't an easy system to dive into. it took me about 2 weeks to get to the point i could go 16 hours... about the minimum time you need for a true IF diet to start working. but here is the challenge. while a daily 12 hour fast isn't really getting totally into a intermittent fast, it will do a few other positive things. among those, it will give your digestive system a rest. most people today are not able to go even 6-8 hours without taking in some nutrition.

why not? ... food is everywhere.

if you think about it, though. how long as this been going on. humans have been on earth 100's of thousands of years... only within the past century or so have humans had access to food practically anywhere, practically any time. having been on an intermittent fast for over two years now, you might think i have hunger licked. ... you'd be wrong. i feel a hunger urge maybe 2 or 3 times a day. what IF has done for me... i can ignore hunger because i know whether i eat or not... hunger urges go away... every time.

so whatever diet you are on... think about giving your digestive system half the day off. if you consider 8 hours of sleep, it is only extending that time by 4 hours.. if you eat breakfast at 8am... stop eating after dinner, at 8pm. the other 12 hours... follow your diet and exercise routine. just remember hunger isn't physical... it's mental. i hope you give it a shot.
 
Hi OLF, I appreciate the thought but every reputable thing I've read about fasting (even intermittent) seems to point to it doing more harm than good. I'm glad it's working for you an that you get so much out of it you wanna share but I think in my case (knowing my body the way I do) it'd cause more binging rather than less. Plus missing tends to make me a little crabby... an no one enjoys that. :)
 
I have read that women don't cope as well with IF & I know that I don't. I think about food constantly when I try to do it. Work out a decent healthy plan that you can stick to & try not to think too much about those cheat meals. I personally am not a fan of cheat meals. I try to focus on healthy but also tasty & don't feel that I miss out at all.
 
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