Journey to Knowing

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Oh, you poor thing. Well done on coping so well with it all. That's a really positive step. Hope you get a really good rest & your cats get well very quickly xo
 
Yep. Three are now throwing up and not eating. Got 3k steps today but I'm not counting it against my net calories because none of it was anything over a stroll.

I learned of the whoosh effect today. Explains the sudden loss and also the slight regain temporarily. Basically when the fat cells empty water replaces those areas until it decides to leave. That's how you can lose 5lbs over night. I can already see dimpling in my fattiest areas. That used to freak me out and I'd stop whatever was working. Now I feel a little fear but much more happiness.

Under calorie target by 20 today. I am completely content with that. Helping a friend tomorrow morning after I walk and then if my youngest isn't better (her bum is very inflamed) I'll take her to hospital. Hoping everyone magically heals overnight.
 
Crowfeather sorry to hear about the cats . It's horrible when the pets are unwell. Best wishes to you all.
Good for you continuing with your plan amid the stress . I really think writing here helps with that .
 
Whew. Helped my cousin move the last bit of her stuff today. I am tuckered out. I had deemed this a "treat" day (I don't do cheat days - don't like the message that I'm depriving myself the rest of the time). Ate out all three meals getting what I wanted and while my sodium intake was off the charts, I still came in under my net calories. Wth? Lol. And who knew broccoli has sodium? I sure didn't.

Tomorrow I'm sleeping in.

Cats are on the mend. Still on just a portion of their normal food with a little baby food.
 
Btw had a grass fed ny strip for dinner. Felt so good after like my cells were so happy to be getting those nutrients. I rarely eat beef. This was the perfect timing.
 
Fun day. Movie and watching Rockford Files marathon while playing with the cats. Only two are still sick and they're recovering quickly. Weigh in today down .9lbs. That's 16 total in two weeks. Scheduled walking for the week so I have dedicated times. Gotta cook. Maybe some chili or bean soup and then mushroom rice. In the morning I hope to get the frittatas made along with broccoli salad. Rest today and good food yesterday is just what I needed.
 
Woohoo! Down 1lb overnight. Rest is so important to allow the body to do what it does. That is hard to remember and believe. When I did optifast, I was training for the 3-day walk. The doctor told me if I wasn't walking 20-30 miles on the weekends that I'd be losing a lot more weight. That seemed ridiculous to me. But it's true. If I exercise, I gotta add those calories back in so the body doesn't go into emergency mode. That knowing takes a hell of lot of pressure off me to exercise which makes the exercise more enjoyable.

My boy cat kept waking me up all night. I was not balanced enough this morning to walk so I'll hike this evening. It's more fun anyway. Thinking of adding orangetheory into the mix in July. May stop in and talk with them later this month.
 
Walked my 30 minutes yesterday at the mall because of storms. My legs were so sore by the end. I was able to compare mapmywalk to the pedometer app I have. Ped app had twice the distance but same amount of calories as mapmywalk. Today the backlash is pretty extreme with my energy and balance. Gotta do little today so I can drive four hours tomorrow. Lovely managing health stuff while losing weight and living life.

Cats are pretty much healed up I think.
 
The fatigue factor hit hard today. I'm so grateful I mostly work at home. But even this crap I deal with is nothing like ten years ago when I was on a cane. So even if just a mile and a half kicks my ass, I'm grateful I can make that thirty minutes walking. And I've got to remember my calories are set to lose a pound and a half every week even without exercise.

Made mushrooms and rice and dear lord I put too many pepper flakes in it. I may get some sour cream.

Tomorrow I go to training for a chimp rescue in the mountains. I have bad social anxiety. Hoping I don't make a fool of myself. And of course my size always makes me self conscious. It's a matter of getting over myself.

This quote came to mind today
"I don't believe that one should devote his life to morbid self attention, I believe a person should become a person like other people."
 
You can't possibly make a fool of yourself, doing something so worthwhile. Good for you! You have obviously come a long way & are doing things to make your life even better. You are a good person Crowfeather- remember that xo
 
Sorry crowfeather I missed your updates don't know how. You keep an interesting diary. Glad the cats are doing good.
I know what you mean about the beef helping you . I seldom eat it too and when I do I feel great after .
Hope the monkey rescue goes well . It sounds fantastic . Exactly what my daughter would love
 
Made it to the training on time even with late start. After, before the two hour drive home, I pulled out my prepared snacks...ate them driving but was obsessed with getting something else. Finally stopped at Chick-fil-A and got a chicken sandwich. All that anxiety disappeared. Interesting huh? So this may be the first time I go over calorie goal in nearly three weeks. And greasy food really hits my stomach hard now.

I'm going to enjoy volunteering at the sanctuary. It'll be hard work. Looking forward. Tonight I've got to tutor someone on how to use Facebook lol then at work at 6am tomorrow. Looking forward to Saturday! Stress is starting to edge into my eating. At least I'm aware.
 
I just took body pics for this 18 month challenge. I couldn't fit in the sports bra two weeks ago. And I wore shorts instead of underwear. Dear lord though. It's difficult to stay in denial looking at those pictures. And the most persistent thought? What's all that skin going to look like hanging empty? I've got ten pounds to where washing becomes more work because as the fat disappears, there's more wrinkles and folds. I usually get there and get so uncomfortable that I gain back the pounds. Determined to make it through this time. At some point it's got to feel better.
 
Make sure you stay hydrated Crowfeather. I lost 36 kg in 28 weeks back in 2007, but drank lots of water & didn't have much in the way of wrinkles & loose skin. You will feel better hon as you keep losing. There's a whole new life waiting for when you can go & embrace it xo
 
Thanks Cate! Keep reminding me! And wow! 36 kilo! Well done!

My tutoring session was cancelled so I went for a walk in high afternoon heat. Fastest pace yet! And I sweated! I only started sweating in the past year or so - a story for another type of forum. I'm tuckered out and tomorrow I need to clean my flat as a friend is stopping for the night on her way tthrough town. So excited about the day today.
 
Thanks!

Dear lawd. I've been moving since I woke up. An out of town friend is sleeping on my floor tonight on her way through town. I've been cleaning for hours. But supper was great. First meal I've made someone in my home since moving here. Even worked in some wine and came in 7 calories under my goal calories.
 
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