Floater's diary

Floater said:
I think the world can always see there's something unusual about us.
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I don't see that myself, but then I don't go around looking for differences. There is a school in our local town for autistic kids & a lot of the teachers are quite young & a lot of the kids are quite old & I can rarely tell who's who. They walk a lot around the town & I often see them when I'm walking with Arch.
I'm so glad Nera is feeling much better. I think you will feel better when she is back to her usual self. :grouphug:
 
Floater said:
Dogs tend to ostracize black dogs, because their face is hard to read. Horses ostracize white horses, because as prey animals, they stick out and attract predators.
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I didn't know that but I guess it makes sense. I do believe we're allowed to expect better from a species with the arrogance to put "wise" into its own name: maybe we'll get there with time.
 
Euuugghhh it's voting day and I just couldn't be bothered... But as they say, every vote not given, is given to the alt right... So I'll man up and go despite having to deal with crowds. I'll bribe myself with a few beers for the effort. I have no idea whom to vote for, so I'll go by my usual system of party -> gender -> minority status in the hopes that f.e. immigrant women from the Green party are unlikely to have values and agendas that would fuck my personal life up too much.

Nera is looking really good. I'm glad that she's recovering this well. Only a few more days on soft food!

PS: my diet has been a total mess lately. I had three bacon, cheese, and avocado toasts last night. It was good, but I have slipped into skipping meals again and I need to correct this course immediately.
 
Could you arrange to vote by mail in the future? Glad to hear you´re voting even though it´s hard. And glad to hear you´re paying attention to your food intake even though THAT is hard!
 
Llama said:
Could you arrange to vote by mail in the future? Glad to hear you´re voting even though it´s hard. And glad to hear you´re paying attention to your food intake even though THAT is hard!
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I don't think it's possible here, I'll look into the voting by mail thing though!

Breakfast: a chicken leg, baked potatoes with hummus, rucola, and walnuts
 
Llama said:
Sounds like a delicious breakfast at least.
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Yeah and the day took a turn downhill when I made my way to the voting place and it was different than last year. I can be such a dumbass sometimes. But at least I tried. This kind of fuck ups usually tell me I'm not operating on full capacity, so no use crying over spilled milk.

Making garlicky mashed potatoes, will have something protein rich later. Bought another chicken leg, too!
 
I vote early now as it's not as busy. In Finland apparently, only some people can vote 5 days in advance of voting day. You may not be eligible but It's something to think about for the next election. The polling booths for this election were at https://tulospalvelu.vaalit.fi/AV-2022/en/kuntalista.html They don't seem to make it easy to vote there. You have to be out of the country to have a postal vote.
Hope you have a better day today. Please try hard to eat well xo
 
@Cate thank you! Yeah I usually vote in advance but this year it was at the same time as Nera's surgery.

I did eat well - had pasta with some simple garnishes before bedtime. A carb heavy day but fed is best!
 
Boiling pasta for breakfast. I feel completely depressed & depleted. I had a dream that my houseplants were infested by bugs and I tried my best to save them but they all died in my hands and I was left with a mess of soil, dead plants, empty pots, and insects scurrying and buzzing around the remains of my beautiful plants.
 
I managed to eat some pasta with marg.

There´s an interesting trial taking place right now as we speak. A Finnish MP of the Christian democrat party, Päivi Räsänen, is (finally) on trial for hate speech against sexual minorities. I'm so exhausted of her variety of bible bangers who try to justify their personal hatred by claiming godliness... She's also caused massive issues for the church, because despite her not being a theologian or in any clerical position, mainstream Lutherans associate her with the church and every time she gets in some scandal, tons of people resign from the church. It's also a bit ironic that she's against women's priesthood but is yet so willing to wield "mundane" power that sort of creeps onto the clerical turf.

Whether it's Bitcoin, God/s, or climate denialism, some people just have that frantic glossed-over look in their eyes. And they smile with way too many teeth showing so it's almost a grimace. These were the same kinds of people who would start to argue with professors during Theology 101, and usually dropped out early because they couldn't stand the fact that the Uni wouldn't endorse their beliefs about Young Earth Creationism or whatever.
 
Llama said:
:grouphug: That sounds horrible. If it was my dream I'd say it means something I'm working on irl feels hopeless.
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:grouphug: Hopelessness was the general vibe I got from it too, and it has carried over onto today. There's a Finnish saying "sitting around with one's thumb up one's ass", for the feeling of sitting around being useless, and that's how I'm feeling today on all fronts of my life: professional, romantic, and health-related. It's frustrating that I can't really do anything about these things right now and it's easier to just roll over and bare one's tummy like a chihuahua. Well, maybe not a chihuahua, they are 50% shaking and 50% hatred, but some tiny mutt.

The pools and gyms will continue to be closed until 7.2. soooo, yeah, everything is so futile right now. The weather is gross too, +2 degrees with all the roads covered in ice and the sky overcast with clouds the color of dirty dishwater. Meh.
 
Floater said:
the feeling of sitting around being useless, and that's how I'm feeling today on all fronts of my life:
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I understand that you feel that way but in reality you've set a lot of things in motion and now you're waiting for the results. Which is frustrating but doesn't mean you're being useless.
Floater said:
The pools and gyms will continue to be closed until 7.2. soooo, yeah, everything is so futile right now.
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Home exercise? Weightless movement is better than none at all, especially when you're hypermobile and need your muscles to be active to protect your joints.
 
Llama said:
I understand that you feel that way but in reality you've set a lot of things in motion and now you're waiting for the results. Which is frustrating but doesn't mean you're being useless.
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Thank you.
Llama said:
Home exercise? Weightless movement is better than none at all, especially when you're hypermobile and need your muscles to be active to protect your joints.
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Yes. I should. My brain is just flipping its shit about the change of routine. Maybe if I turn it around: only 13 more days of enduring home workouts until gyms should reopen?

I've been walking a lot, it's better than nothing.
 
I ended up eating the whole 450g package of chicken in one sitting. The weight post baking was a bit less of course, but considering how little I've eaten protein during the last week or so, I'm fine with this. I seasoned it with lemon juice, garlic, jeera, and black pepper and just a little bit of mushroom soy sauce. Of course my body can't absorb all the protein in that chicken in one sitting, but I'm just glad I had an appetite for _something_.

I'll try to have some raw carrots, avocado, and tomatoes later this evening!
 
Llama said:
Your body will do the best it can, just like you. I'm glad you managed to eat!
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Thanks!

I just had a meal of 5 raw yellow carrots, 100g of cherry tomatoes, and two avocadoes. I should keep it in mind that during times of anxiety, it's easier for me to eat these kinds of "mono meals" (even though I know that it's not dietarily optimal). What matters is that I got my veggie quota in, and a decent amount of calories, without any liquid calories and too much distress. Counts as a win in my book!

I must have been dehydrated, too. I've drank 2 liters of water and white tea in 3 hours, plus the moisture in the veggies. It's rare for me to forget to drink, I must have been really out of it mentally!
 
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