Emily Rose: The Reboot

Yeah, it was so weird today, there was no traffic at all when I left work at 5pm. Yesterday it was like Armageddon. They sorted out the roadworks by the time we were leaving work and I guess a lot of people got out of dodge early.

Well! Very exciting stuff for today.

1) I bought a weighted hula hoop. I have been wanting to buy one for a while and I was in Tesco earlier to buy something else, and there it was, for a very reasonable price of 17 euro, and I thought to myself, It's time. I had a short go of it, I am hopeless, which I knew I would be. But that's why it's a fun challenge. I'm going to spend 30 minutes or so at it every day I have the house to myself. It will make being home alone more entertaining for sure. I'm excited!!!

2) I am auditioning for a play next Tuesday. I have been wanting to get involved in drama for ages now, and a few people have mentioned it to me lately and encouraged me to get back into it, so I am going to go for this part. The great thing is that I have been rejected so many times at this point when it comes to acting that it really doesn't bother me anymore. I actually don't even really care if I'm that good at it or not, I just want to do it anyway because I really enjoy it. I also have so much time at the moment and everyone I know seems to be hibernating, so it could be really fun.

I also bought a weighing scales again. I think I need to know that number for my own sanity.
 
Emilyrose said:
I actually don't even really care if I'm that good at it or not, I just want to do it anyway because I really enjoy it.
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That´s the best motivation anyway. Have fun!
 
Thanks LaMa.

Yeah, I haven't gone near it yet Cate, but it's here, taking up loads of space in my small room, so I have to get use out of it!!

Had a really good day today. Things with the yoga man got a bit interesting last night. When we were finishing up, he was kind of lingering and I thought it was going to say something to me, but then I panicked and started fiddling around with the cash box and sort of ruined the moment. There was definitely a vibe. I don't think he's single though so I could just be projecting. Still, it was kind of thrilling.

I finally got back to the gym tonight, it was hard enough but I got through it okay. It was a packed class so I think I was distracted from how much work I was actually putting in. There were lots of kettle bell swings and planks involved.

I also cooked dinner for the first time in two weeks, it's amazing how much more energy I have and how much better I feel. I had some grilled chicken with a kind of lentil, veg and passata stew. It was very tasty.

I also bumped into an old friend tonight, I think we're going for a few drinks tomorrow night, so that should be fun. All in all, a good week.
 
Plenty of folks who don´t care about (not) being single. Maybe make sure if he is, just in case?
 
Yeah, I'm sure it's all just nonsense I made up in my head. I have other things to distract me for the coming week anyway.

I feel a little bit strange tonight, my ears are burning and my head feels a bit funny. I'm also very tired. Ah well, I'm sure it will pass.

Going to watch a bit of Stranger Things now I think and relax.
 
Yeah, I'm grand again today Cate.

I got the dress! I think it's pretty nice on. It's a black Bardot dress, exactly what I wanted and it was on sale.

I took a good long look at myself in the changing room mirror today and the exercise has made a massive difference to my body. I was almost *whisper* happy with the way my body looked. What is this voodoo magic? How will I navigate through a world where I don't spend every waking moment fretting about it? Very exciting.

So now that I know that the exercise works, I will keep it up. A few tweaks to my diet and I really will feel body confident. I can see my shape now. My legs and bum are a lot more toned. I'm really delighted. :)

I am also really wanting to stop smoking now. I'm just so over it. I hate that I do. I don't know why I can't stop. Well, of course I can, but why the hell haven't I already? So I am throwing the box I bought earlier away and starting again tomorrow. I feel like they are sapping my energy away with every puff and I can't stand this feeling anymore.
 
Emilyrose said:
Yeah, I'm grand again today Cate.

I got the dress! I think it's pretty nice on. It's a black Bardot dress, exactly what I wanted and it was on sale.

I took a good long look at myself in the changing room mirror today and the exercise has made a massive difference to my body. I was almost *whisper* happy with the way my body looked. What is this voodoo magic? How will I navigate through a world where I don't spend every waking moment fretting about it? Very exciting.

I can see my shape now. My legs and bum are a lot more toned. I'm really delighted. :)

I am also really wanting to stop smoking now. I'm just so over it.
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Happy dance :party: :party: :party:
 
Thanks guys.

I had a lovely day of recuperation yesterday and felt really energised for a Monday. I played my guitar, sang a few songs, and was generally nice to myself.

I have a busy week this week but I drank too much coffee today so I don't really feel going to bed. My heart feels quite light today. I genuinely feel like good things are coming my way. It's a nice feeling.
 
Playing a bit of guitar. That's a favorite of mine. A great stress buster. Now that I've got a grandson I'm playing Kenny Loggins "House at Pooh Corner", Peter Paul and Mary, "Puff the Magic Dragon" and Marvellous Toy" by Tom Paxton. He's paying close attention.

Music is a great way to take care of yourself.
 
Hehe, ''Puff the Magic Dragon.'' I am such a child.

It is Cate. And... *drumroll please*

The good times are continuing.

I went to an audition tonight and it was the best evening I've had out in ages. It was so refreshing to meet up with like-minded creative people who care about things other than making money, buying a house or making babies. Like, there is another life out there, there are fun, energetic people in my city who want to push themselves out of their comfort zone and create things. It was extraordinary. There was this young standup comic there, what a lovely young man, he had so much energy and (luckily for him) he was really funny. His enthusiasm was inspiring.

In the arts and culture world, there are so many pretentious asshats that I have been unfortunate enough to encounter along the way but this group were nothing like that. It was very fun. There was also a supercute guy that is some kind of journalist/researcher/filmmaker combo that of course I find fascinating, he's prob a bit young for me, but so pretty.

Anyway, I think my audition went okay, there are 5 female parts so I really hope I manage to snag one of them. Regardless, I had a great time.

Yoga tomorrow night, always an adventure. I'm going to a book launch on Thursday, the debut novel of the man I have wanted to marry since the moment I met him and then on Friday I have a big work party where the Christian Grey of the company is rumoured to attend, so it's going to be an EPIC week. :D

Thank God things have picked up pace again, it was getting a bit lacklustre. :D
 
I heard this on the radio today on my way home from work and I love it. It kind of sums up how I'm feeling about life at the moment:

 
Emilyrose said:
Hehe, ''Puff the Magic Dragon.'' I am such a child.
:D
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Great way to be. At least some of us still think it's a kiddie tune. My grandson, 4 months old, is coming by Friday with family for dinner so I get a captive audience again. His parents have 2 cats so I think I'll bring out 'The Cat Came Back' as well.
 
Ah, that sounds lovely Hale.

I had a great time at the work event and the food was lovely. All my favourite people were sitting at my table and the entertainment was top notch. The hotel we were in was exquisite, I had the most amazing bath, and it was really such a nice treat.

I came back quite exhausted so I slept for a lot of yesterday and I'm more or less back to normal today. I have a few weeks now with nothing much happening which is the best time to get back into my routine again. The weather is quite nice today so I feel like winter is finally leaving us.
 
Very frustrating day at work. I lost my temper. :( Disappointed in myself but there's nothing I can do about it now.

I was asking the girl that does accounts to chase up an invoice for the last few weeks and any time I mentioned it, she just said it wasn't in yet, so then I was trying to get her to chase up on it because I feel like that is what she should be doing. I asked her about it today and she got really snippy and said there was nothing more she could do about it and then I asked her for the account holder details so that I could chase up on it myself, and she was rude about it and so nice to everyone else in the office who was asking her things, and I got really mad. She just said I was constantly poking her about it. Well yeah, I was, because it's two weeks later and the invoice is still missing.

Then my boss was like, 'You came in under budget this month' and I was like, 'No, not really, because our biggest invoice wasn't included in that'. So it's thrown all the accounts off. And now the girl I gave out to is giving me the silent treatment and I feel like I can't ask her anything now. Even though it's her job.

I hate a bad atmosphere but I'm puzzled about how to proceed. I really couldn't care less about her but for the sake of the office as a whole, I want to get on with her. Hmm. I might ask a guy I work with for advice. He's fairly neutral and leaving anyway (and will hopefully be on my side, haha). Any advice in the forum?
 
I´d check if Ask A Manager has any advice on a similar problem. They tend to be pretty on point. Otherwise I have only commiseration to offer.
 
I read a bit on Ask a Manager today LaMa, thanks for the tip.

I apologised to the girl and tried to sort it out. She was shaking with anger, she was so upset with me. I seem to provoke a lot of anger in people lately. I'm sorry that I upset her so much but I don't feel bad on a personal level, if that makes sense. I lost my temper, my bad, but I tried to sort it out and if she wants to give me the silent treatment and carry that hurt and resentment around with her, there's not much I can do about it. I'm encountering this with people a lot lately. I think I used to be that sort of a person, but I'm not anymore. I'd like to just have the argument and then forget about it, it's the lingering resentment that gets to me.

I was discussing with another friend about a similar issue I was having with another person, and she said that because I'd upset her that one time, I was always on the back-foot with her, because she was expecting that same reaction from me again about other stuff. And there's no way back from that really. If the other person refuses to give you a clean slate, then all you can do is accept that and try not to let it bother you. I don't love conflict but I sometimes feel that the difficult conversations are necessary and can be healthy, whether it be between work colleagues, friends or family. Being punished with the silent treatment for airing my views is something that I really detest, but if that's the game they want to play, then all I can do is let them play it alone, and not get sucked into it.

I've said it here before but I really am changing as a person and sort of resetting to my actual personality, rather than some bland shell of a person who is so afraid of people not liking them that they will try to hide away from everything and everyone so as not to annoy people. Fuck that. If I get on people's nerves but I'm happy in myself and liking myself, then that's just a part of life. I know I'm not coming from a bad place or a nasty place, so that's all that matters to me. I am not a bitter or jealous person, and I'm just trying to make my way through life while getting as much enjoyment as I can out of it.
 
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