Default Julie's food & exercise journal

I went on a date with a guy I've been chatting with for a while. Met him on a dating app and from his pics I could already tell he was quite big. When I actually saw him, he was gigantic. 2 meters tall, and at least 120 kg, I'd guess. I wish I wouldn't care, but I found myself thinking the first minutes while walking to the restaurant that I wouldn't date him. That I would just have a fun night with him, but that it wouldn't be more than that. Superficial of me, right? When the date progressed my attitude changed, 'cause he's a really nice person. Very intelligent, talkative, passionate. We have a few cocktails and the mood is good. Before getting on the train he kissed me. (Totally forgot about the mouth masks for a sec, oops). The kiss was awkward because I hadn't expected it, but afterwards we laughed about it, and it was fun, and I really felt like we hit it off, and that I wanted to see him again. I was smiling walking home.
But then.
The next morning, slightly hungover, my attitude changed again. I don't know right now what I want from him. That happy, jittery feeling has gone and I'm thinking: maybe I was jus a little drunk? Also: I want a boyfriend who I can have active vacations with, like cycling holidays, or big hikes (he was already slightly out of breath walking to the restaurant). Or am I just being superficial? If I'm awfully honest, he wouldn't be a boyfriend "to show off" to friends or family, and I'm ashamed to admit this is also something that might hold me back. Am I an awful person?
 
JuliePulie said:
Am I an awful person?
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Not at all, you seem quite fair and rational. You have given and maybe still are giving the big guy consideration, that's what a good person does. Attraction is always a combination of instinct and subconscious and rational thinking. You can't make yourself be attracted to someone if you are not any more than you can change the color of your eyes or make yourself taller. A part of it is just in your instinctive makeup. And the rational side of you makes some good points, you want a partner who shares your interests and wants to do things with you. If he can't that's important and reasonable.

All that said sometimes opposites attract and if after reflection you are still interested I don't see any problem in giving him a call. Just be aware that you are not likely to change him much, accept what he is or don't - your choice. Nothing superficial or awful in going either way.

Best of luck with it!
 
I like big guys, so take anything I say with a scoop of salt :D Do you know if he likes active hobbies? One of my best friend is technically obese but she's got the most strength and endurance of anyone I know. I say try it and if he can't/won't keep up that's that.
 
LaMaria said:
I like big guys, so take anything I say with a scoop of salt :D Do you know if he likes active hobbies? One of my best friend is technically obese but she's got the most strength and endurance of anyone I know. I say try it and if he can't/won't keep up that's that.
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He was already out of breath just walking to the restaurant, so I'm afraid he's not like your friend...
I also prefer big guys over skinny guys. But I don't know... He's réally big. I'm gonna see him a second time anyway, and then I can try to find out more :)
 
alligatorob said:
Not at all, you seem quite fair and rational. You have given and maybe still are giving the big guy consideration, that's what a good person does. Attraction is always a combination of instinct and subconscious and rational thinking. You can't make yourself be attracted to someone if you are not any more than you can change the color of your eyes or make yourself taller. A part of it is just in your instinctive makeup. And the rational side of you makes some good points, you want a partner who shares your interests and wants to do things with you. If he can't that's important and reasonable.

All that said sometimes opposites attract and if after reflection you are still interested I don't see any problem in giving him a call. Just be aware that you are not likely to change him much, accept what he is or don't - your choice. Nothing superficial or awful in going either way.

Best of luck with it!
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Thanks, Rob!
 
My food & exercise... Not great. Over my calorie goal, and too many carbs for mod carb day.
- Breakfast: my yoghurt mix with seeds and protein powder, banana
- lunch: salad with tuna
- dinner: salad with couscous & falafel
- snacks: balisto (a treat from a colleague, should have said no), popcorn, tomato & basil soup

Exercise:
- one hour of walking
- one hour of cycling
 
Active day! I feel pretty good. I don't have enough food left to do low carb, so had another mod carb one. I should probably head to the store tomorrow.
Food:
- oatmeal with chia seed, flax seed, tahin, peanut butter and protein powder
- veggie balls with Brussels sprouts and spinach
- tuna wrap
- snacks: alpro soya iced coffee, raspberries, two wafer cookies

Exercise:
- 45 minutes run (7k). It was hot, didn't go that well, but still glad that I went.
- one hour a half cycling
 
He, he. I still haven't gone food shopping. I slept so late and then I prefered to go buy cycling clothing. My friend who I go cycling with always mocks me for my lack of appropriate gear. I got rained out cycling back from the store. That sucked. Afterwards I went to my work after a quick shower but I was so late I didn't have time to buy something for dinner. So I had a small bag of pickles crisps and when I came home, a quarter to midnight, had aiki Noodles and oatmeal. Not very nutritious, right?

Food today:
- breakfast: oatmeal with chia and flax seed, peanut butter, soy milk, protein powder
- lunch: shitake mushrooms with vegan chicken and spinash mixed with mediterranean herbs
- dinner: you know, aiki noodles and oatmeal
- snacks: banana, crisps

Exercise:
- cycling, 1h20
 
Yes, finally!! :) Still need to score a decent helmet now. The one I have is too loose on my head. My head has shrunk (or I bought it too big in the first place).
Argh. We're going back to a lockdown here. In my city there are a lot of Corona cases and they even implemented an evening clock now. And working from home is obligatory unless it's absolutely necessary to be in your office. I was okay the last lockdown just because I thought it was just temporary. After it ended I realized how much I had missed going to a bar, restaurants, a BBQ, on dates... I also felt much better seeing my colleagues again and not being stuck at home a great deal of the time. So it really sucks. I know it's for a greater good but it's starting to feel like we're living in Soviet Russia. All these rules. And being single now sucks. About that: I called off a date with the big man because of corona but we're still texting. He asked me to include him in his bubble and I said no, I told him to wait until 'the lockdown, the sequel' is behind us. But he has no one in his bubble at the moment. His father passed away, no siblings, his mother moved to the Netherlands... He says his friends choose their partner and family as their bubble mates. So I feel guilty. Maybe i should include him anyway. The idea of him being all alone all the time kinda breaks my heart.

Oh yes. I'd almost forget about my diet.
Breakfast: yoghurt and my usual mix of steeds and protein powder
Lunch: pasta salad with tuna, beetroot, onion and bellpepper. Cucumber and humus.
Dinner: sandwich with humus and vegan cheese
Snack: banana

Exercise: 4k run and 2k walk. Plan was 6k run but I tripped and fell. Note to self: you're too clumsy for night runs.
 
Hi Julie :)
was just reading through your journal a bit. You sound like you're on a really great track! Your food sounds delicious--now i want some hummus! Too bad about the tripping when running :( but I'm impressed that you carried on for another 2 k walk after that! I took up running a couple of months ago and am trying to work up to a 10 k.
Too bad about the lockdown returning. This virus just won't quit it seems. Sad about your 'big man' having no one in his bubble. Poor guy!
 
i understand you feel bad for Big Guy but you're not responsible for his well-being after one date. Sure, keep texting if you enjoy it but if het guilttrips you that's a valuable piece of information about him.
 
:smilielol5:
liza said:
Hi Julie :)
was just reading through your journal a bit. You sound like you're on a really great track! Your food sounds delicious--now i want some hummus! Too bad about the tripping when running :( but I'm impressed that you carried on for another 2 k walk after that! I took up running a couple of months ago and am trying to work up to a 10 k.
Too bad about the lockdown returning. This virus just won't quit it seems. Sad about your 'big man' having no one in his bubble. Poor guy!
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I must confess: on really bad says I don't write in here because then I've lost my motivation. So you probably get a distorted image. I can eat loads, and drink like a Viking. And sometimes I even do drugs. But running is great, right?! That runners high feels good. I do prefer to have a goal in mind, but now with corona, all the collective runs are canceled. I was gonna do the 20k of Brussels but yeah, no. Strava helps me to keep motivated now. It's silly but you can see your progress, and share it with friends who are also on the app, and that helps. So how many k have you reached now?
The 2k was necessary to get home btw :D i was gonna run those normally but I didn't want to fall again
 
LaMaria said:
i understand you feel bad for Big Guy but you're not responsible for his well-being after one date. Sure, keep texting if you enjoy it but if het guilttrips you that's a valuable piece of information about him.
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Oh I don't think he was guilt tripping me. I don't know... Maybe. But that would definitely not be good. I'm allergic to manipulation. But when I said 'I'll think about it' he said 'no, you're right, we don't need to force this blabla'. So I think he didn't mean to guilt trip me.
 
I've been having sleeping problems lately. Laying awake for hours, sleeping lightly. Not sure where this came from all of the sudden. I rarely understand these things about myself. Which is also one of the reasons I'm gonna see a therapist tomorrow, for the first time in my life. I've been on the verge a couple of times. When my only longtime relationship ended and I was heartbroken and couldn't get over it. When my mom had a psychotic depresssion and I thought I lost her. And when I felt numb/blocked in new relationships i was trying to build. This has happened a few times. A month ago or so I broke down again when my mom was getting worse and then I realized I still haven't come to terms with her mental illness (which I'm starting to realize now has changed her for good and will never completely go away). So this is when I decided I should see a therapist. But I feel like he's gonna send me away for people who really need help, cause I'm fine, really. I got issues surfacing from time to time but I function pretty good apart from that. I'm a generally happy person. Just a complicated person. We'll see what he says. My friend said it's better to go and prevent actual problems then to go once it's too late. And that makes sense because I've seen it happen. And I'd never want my family to go through that.

So yeah. Sorry for the emo moment. It kinda helps to talk/write about it. And here i don't have to feel guilty afterwards talking about it.

Food today:
- breakfast: greek soy yohurt with seeds and protein powder
- lunch: vegan patty, parsnip fries (in the oven, but still quite greasy...) And a mix of mediterranean vegetables
- dinner: sandwich with vegan cheese
- snacks: banana. Salty tomato powder soup. And more yoghurt. Oh yoghurt, where have you been all of my life

Walk: 7k, one hour and a half
 
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