Complete B.S Thread

Check the out of context thread in a minute....I'm building another special "conversation" from this... Don't think it will top my last "build" but should be funny.
 
Kutusov said:
Another wise line form Carlin:

"Have you ever noticed how your **** is stuff and other people's stuff is ****?"
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Reminds of this quote of his.
>
>The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
>shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend
more,
>but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and
>smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more
degrees
>but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet
more
>problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
>
>We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too
>little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too
>tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
>We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too
>much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
>
>We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years
to
>life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back,
but
>have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered
>outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not
better
>things.
>
>We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the
>atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan
more,
>but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build
>more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than
>ever, but we communicate less and less.
>
>These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small
>character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days
of
>two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These
are
>days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night
>stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to
>quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window
>and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this
>letter to insight, or to just hit delete...
>
>
>
>
>Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not
>going to be around forever.
>
>Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe,
because
>that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
>
>Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is
the
>only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
>
>Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but
>most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes
>from deep inside of you.
>
>Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person
>will not be there again.
>
>Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the
>precious thoughts in your mind.
>
>AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
>
>Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the
moments
>that take our breath away.
>
> George Carlin
>
 
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Wouldn't you love to wear this cuffs next time you went to the gym?

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Trevor M. said:
How can - "nothing" - explode?
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:D Thats the Big Bang Theory according to Pratchett.

Here's some more Terry Pratchett for you:

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

'They can ta'k our lives but they can never ta'k our freedom!' Now there's a battle cry not designed by a clear thinker...

Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care.

Oh, come on. Revelation was a mushroom dream that belonged in the Apocrypha. The New Testament is basically about what happened when God got religion.

What your soldier wants-- really, really wants -- is no-one shooting back at him.

Suicide was against the law. Johnny had wondered why. It meant that if you missed, or the gas ran out, or the rope broke, you could get locked up in prison to show you that life was really very jolly and thoroughly worth living.

Magicians and scientists are, on the face of it, poles apart. Certainly, a group of people who often dress strangely, live in a world of their own, speak a specialized language and frequently make statements that appear to be in flagrant breach of common sense have nothing in common with a group of people who often dress strangely, speak a specialized language, live in ... er ...

1. All fungi are edible.
2. Some fungi are not edible more than once.
 
He's a best seller author in the UK. If you like to read, check his Discworld novels. He has written dozens of them but you can start pretty much anywhere. I suggest you get the Night Watch trilogy: "Guards! Guards!", "Men at arms" and "Feet of Clay". You can get all three in one omnibus volume too.
 
Rofl I was doing some rice-bag training earlier on today and i left the bags in the garage. An hour later my mom comes running into my room yelling " I think someone stole our rice bags I can't find them anywhere "

Oh mom..you crack me up.
 
Nice. I made shish kabobs yesterday, pack full of huge chunks of green pepper, onion, chicken, and turkey sausage...put some BBQ sauce on it, ate a ton...sooo good.
 
Trevor M. said:
I'm enjoying a nice raw onion at the moment. Hmm...Might go get some BBQsause to dip it into it.
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This is gross for most. And, diagnose it doesn't come close, to shoveling in natty peanut butter.

;)

Best wishes


Chillen
 
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