Cate's Diary

liza3 said:
She sounds like an amazing woman. Nice you will get a visit in with her soon.
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She is, Liza. She's a glass-half-full woman but is definitely someone who can talk through her problems. Her husband really struggles.
If I drive down to the bottom of our driveway I can then get in a really good walk or if I drive a km further I can get in one or 2 shorter ones that add up to a decent walk.
I stuck to under 1450 yesterday & will weigh myself before my shower this morning. I did have my Sunday night treats & didn't have any wine. I was tired so went to bed at 9.40, which is very unusual for me. I still woke twice for a pee but slept really well. I got up at 6.40 am to let Arch out & stayed up. I am going to try to change my pattern for summer as the sun comes into our bedroom really early & I don't get enough sleep. I feel really good this morning. I must get some books from the library today & visit J.
I just had sourdough toast this morning for breakfast- 2 very small pieces, one with peanut butter, the other with salt-reduced Vegemite & a sourdough crumpet with marmalade. I will do a yoghurt/oat/seed/nut layered jar for breakfast tomorrow as I have fresh Greek-style yoghurt. I only want to have bread once a day max.
I have 3 cooked meals in the fridge (chop suey) thanks to G & 2 serves of seafood lasagne in the freezer, plus Pho so I have choices, but I feel like cooking something. Maybe I'll make a dhal curry.
 
Cate said:
I feel really good this morning. I must get some books from the library today & visit J.
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That sounds like a really nice plan.

Cate said:
I am going to try to change my pattern for summer as the sun comes into our bedroom really early & I don't get enough sleep.
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I think Autumn (for me right now) is the best time for my sleep. No hot nights, days that are a good length without daylight stretching so late...I hope you find your good pattern for summer...Sleep is one of those things that seems so simple, but is often so difficult, and is so important!
 
Thanks, Liza (& Llama & Tru) :)
I had a lovely day yesterday, but didn't get to visit J as visiting "hours" are only from 2-2.30 pm for one person only. I visited A instead after walking Archie around the river, going to the library & doing a little shopping. We were both a bit pooped when we got home & I read a book. I took him for a walk late afternoon. I went to bed at 10 last night & slept well again. Arch usually cuddles up between us on top of the bed but with G away he curls up on his side & I can roll over without either of us being disturbed. I feel very safe alone in our home.
Calories yesterday were 1479.
Exercise was good.
 
Cate said:
I visited A instead after walking Archie around the river, going to the library & doing a little shopping.
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Sounds like a very lovely day!
I'm glad you feel safe in your home alone Cate. Nice too that you have Archie for company when G's away.
 
Thanks, Llama & Liza :grouphug:
I had an at-home day yesterday but I imploded at about 4 pm. It feels silly this morning as I have it sorted now, but the panel beater rang to say it suits him to do my car today. I said that I couldn't as G was away & he asked me if I could ask someone else to bring me back home & the same on Friday when it would need to be picked up. He offered to have someone from the yard do one of the trips. I was walking Archie when he rang & when he obviously wanted me to I said I would bring it in today.
I got myself into a state & felt really lonely & alone. I am so dependent on G & I couldn't think of who I could ask. I feel I can ask my neighbours for help if I'm ever scared but this is not an emergency. If I lived in town I wouldn't hesitate to ask either of my SIL or my BIL, but we are 60 km away. It really made me feel what it would be like to be living alone up here & it scared me. I got really upset last night. I drank some wine, then I had some cheese & crackers instead of my dinner & then I had my dinner for nutrition & then one more glass of wine. The wine didn't make any difference to how I felt at all (still stone-cold sober & sad & lonely). I read another book. I ate 3 oranges all up over the evening. A 3 orange day is not a good day!
I decided to ring this morning to say I couldn't do it & why (the truth) & just did & got a bit teary on the phone. He's a sweet guy & he felt bad. He instantly said is next Monday OK & I said perfect.
I think that even if I had lots of friends I could call on it wouldn't work living out here away from everyone else. It's time to find out how we can buy a place & then sell ours. I think I need to see a mortgage broker to see how to go about it. If we moved into town I would make sure I develop a network of friends who I can help & they can help me if needed.
Yesterday felt like a full-on meltdown. I'm still a bit teary. I would be so lonely up here on my own.
 
Sending you a big hug Cate :grouphug:
Really sorry to hear you had such a rough time. I know how hard those vulnerable times can feel. I am glad you did figure out a better solution for waiting to get the car worked on at least.
Really hope you are starting to feel better now.
 
Thanks, Liza. I had a shower & then took Arch for a decent walk. I walked back via the bush, rather than our steep driveway. It’s uphill but not so tough on my knee. When I got home I did some food prep so I’m right for the next couple of days. I did 2 jars of yoghurt/muesli/mixed nuts & seeds & fruit salad(after I made it). I chopped up a container of mixed nuts & seeds( pine nuts, sunflower seeds, walnuts, pistachios, pumpkin seeds…) I sprinkled some toasted coconut on top of each & a small sprinkle of cacao nibs.
For lunch, I had a corn cob with butter, salt & pepper, 1/2 an avocado with a boiled egg & a little vinaigrette. I had a pick at the yoghurt & fruit as I was preparing the jars.
I’m waiting for the kettle to boil to have a pot of herbal tea & then I’ll start a book.
I feel much better.
Dinner tonight will be the last serving of chop suey.
 
Glad to hear you're feeling better :grouphug: I get anxious about the future as well and never know when I'm worrying the right amount rather than way too much or not nearly enough.
 
Thanks, Llama. My SIL rang this afternoon & she asked how I was. I said much better than yesterday & told her briefly what had happened. She had forgotten that G was away and said that she felt like coming out for a visit. She's coming in the morning & I have lunch ready. I had prepared 2 bowls for Pho & had a container out of the freezer for my next couple of lunches. I also made a fruit salad today so we can have that with some yoghurt which I know she prefers to ice cream. I love my SIL & we'll be able to have a good talk.
I'll go into town on Friday & do some shopping & maybe have lunch there if I feel like it.
 
Glad you're feeling better Cate and that you will be getting a nice visit with your SIL.
All your food plans sound great!
 
Thanks, Liza.
I have been hoping that our older son might call in after work one day but I sent him a message last night suggesting it. He said he would call in today at about midday to pick up some fire pit wood if that's ok. He had forgotten that G was away I'm fairly sure. I'll stretch the pho out to feed 3.
Yesterday I stuck to under 1450 cals, had 2 walks & no wine or chocolate.
 
Cate said:
Thanks, Liza.
I have been hoping that our older son might call in after work one day but I sent him a message last night suggesting it. He said he would call in today at about midday to pick up some fire pit wood if that's ok. He had forgotten that G was away I'm fairly sure. I'll stretch the pho out to feed 3.
Yesterday I stuck to under 1450 cals, had 2 walks & no wine or chocolate.
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Excellent job on reminding your people to come by! Sometimes people forget and then I think they are so happy to have a visit especially if one is feeling more in need of one.
 
@liza3 & @Llama :grouphug:
I must get better at letting people know when I need them. My SIL & I discussed it today & agreed we are bloody hopeless at it. No one knows if you don't tell them. I got a lovely message from D later saying how much he loves me. Maybe he sensed I needed to be told that.
 
Cate said:
@liza3 & @Llama :grouphug:
I must get better at letting people know when I need them. My SIL & I discussed it today & agreed we are bloody hopeless at it. No one knows if you don't tell them. I got a lovely message from D later saying how much he loves me. Maybe he sensed I needed to be told that.
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I have so much trouble asking people for help besides immediate family...and also have trouble accepting help when its offered without me asking...but people generally love to be helpful so it's definitely a good practice to learn how to accept it. Very nice to get such a nice message from D :)
 
That's lovely that your sister-in-law visited and was there for you when you needed her. I do think maybe your neighbours would be happy to help you out if they knew you needed it? I always love when people ask me for a favour because it happens so rarely and it feels really good to be useful! :)
 
Thanks, Liza & Em (& Bunny & Llama). I know I love being asked to help someone out & I know I must get better at asking. I hate putting people out. I think having a neighbourhood BBQ in December would be a good way of cementing ties with my neighbours & getting to know them better. I would like to think that someone would ask me if they were stuck.
L, my SIL was coming out anyway & had also forgotten that G was away, but I loved having her visit. I know she would always help me out if I needed her.
I weighed myself this morning & I have lost nothing. I haven't been eating as well as usual & haven't cooked once since G left last Sunday. I am going to go into town & buy lots of vegetables & salad & maybe a cooked chook. Only 2 more days until G is home, thank goodness!
I was up, showered & dressed before 7 this morning. My mind is in a bit of turmoil at the moment about moving/not moving house. *sigh*
 
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