Firefreak, I know that nobody's perfect, and I realize that you had your part in this as well because it does take two to tango.
ILM I do agree that she's dependent on me. She's actually expressed that very thing to me. She refuses to go to family functions if I am not going because I give her a break from her family and act as a shield at times. I will not put myself in the position to be called a cheater. That would do more harm that good, make me look like a ****head and absolutely break her heart which will more than likely happen anyways but that just adds a whole new layer to things.
I actually wasn't 100% serious when I wrote that, but I know that some guys resort to doing that simply because it "fixes" the situation without them having to be the person doing the dumping.
I certainly wasn't suggesting you were a d!ckhead and I'm very relieved to learn that you aren't
Your GF's cup sounds as though it is perpetually half empty, and that being said, she will always be looking to you to fill it up for her. That's an unrealistic onus to place on anybody.
Lauren is better than any other gf I have had in the past, aside from my first gf from HS whom I dated for 3+ years. Lauren is very generous to me and does love me dearly, but she has her issues with me being a firefighter. She thinks that me being a FF is meant as a jab against her because of the risk and time commitments it requires. She is definitely a pretty girl, and has a lot going for her in terms of where she will go with her career. Her family also likes me which, after the previous relationship was a much needed change. I just don't think we click like ILM said.
Why would your GF have issues with you being a firefighter? That's weird ... most chicks dig it. I actually had to read that paragraph twice just to make sure I read it correctly the first time.
I know there is risk and time commitment, but in my opinion, one person cannot try to change the other to be the way they think they should be. You have to take that person the way they are and appreciate them for what they are, not take their choice of career personally and b!tch and complain about it. That's absolutely bizarre.
If you haven't clicked, and you just aren't feeling it, don't think it's going to get any better with time. It won't. It will only get worse.
In reference to the last post at the time that I started typing this, yes I think we are both settling. She is insecure and part of that might be that I am very non-commital and don't give her the affection she expects (as she puts it, makes her uncomfortable and scared to death). I unfortunately still have some baggage after my last relationship despite the 2 years its been since it ended. I spent a long time unhappy during those 2 years with her, and afterward while I was reflecting and going through the 5 stages of a break-up (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) I realized how much was wrong with it for so long and how it should have ended a long long time before that. It also ended right around this time of year too, but was after i spent money on gifts and the plane ticket to go visit for new years.
Sigh...I'm going to the gym to kick my ass.
Sounds like a pattern here, firefreak
You are non-committal for a variety of reasons. There are things about your present GF that you find offensive, like her lack of respect towards her family (she sounds a bit like a prima donna). That's got to be a huge turn-off for you because how your GF treats her family is probably a good indication of how she will eventually treat you and your family (if you stayed together). Her behaviour waves all the red flags for me. Respect is a HUGE part of any relationship.
Moreover, if you have some baggage from your last relationship, you're probably not ready to give anybody your heart quite yet.
Firefreak, you're still young. You have lots of time to find that special someone to spend the rest of your life with.
I hope you had a good workout
