bluehats diary

[M2M]

Hey Bluehat,
I'm sorry to hear about the encounter with the mean family member - that's never easy :\
I agree with PLB, don't expect perfection - life just doesn't work that way!

 

[bluehat]

2 pepperettes--
family food i dont know the calories
10 cups water

too upset about having an unpleasant
unexpected hospital procedure to eat much

 

[Cate]

You poor thing. You are having such a rough trot!

 

[Llama]

Best of luck with your procedure.

 

[bluehat]

unbelievably
another bad but even worse
bad encounter with the mean family member
im beginning to be embarassed
i mean why do i go back for more
why do i continue any contact with this person
i know why and theres nothing i can do
i have to stay in contact
well thankfully theres no food here today
by choice because i fear on bad days
i will either eat it all or toss it in the garbage
i did have a 480 calorie cottage cheese today
so i will see what tomorrow brings
and eat 1 thing then again i guess
beginning to get bad bad old feelings
that i must fight off

 

[Llama]

I have nothing, just hugs. So here are a few: I hope things get easier.

 

[PLB]

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with everything that you're dealing with. I can only suggest to maybe put some things down in writing that you can follow after you have these encounters. Like kind of a "playbook" to follow so that you don't have to think too much and make too many decisions when you're not feeling up to it.

 

[bluehat]

i also wanted to say that that mean person
is more than just a mean family member
but im too afraid to say more to explain
this as i dont know who reads my diary here
so im not in a good life situation
not just medically

but anyway for todays food part of my diary

there's still no food here
but a nice family member brought me a
550 calorie can of pea soup
im not hungry (which is totally abnormal for me)
but ive already had a blood sugar drop today
so i likely will be eating the soup
but the stress and pain nauseas horrendous at this time
i hope it stay down
and im so sorry i dont have a positive nice diary for
people to read

 

[PLB]

There's no reason to explain more. And I didn't mean to necessarily put your plan down here, publicly. I meant to maybe have it written down on your phone or computer. So when you're super stressed, you could go to your list and do something that you've preplanned to take care of yourself. Like having a short list of healthy snacks and just pick one off of the list. Or even something else to ensure you're taking care of yourself. Like if you have an encounter that causes a lot of stress, go to your list and do something from it, like taking a walk and listening to some good music. Or whatever it is that you enjoy doing.

It sounds like you have access to some services because of your diabetes... Is there someone that you can talk to more about some of these issues in person?

 

[PLB]

I'm glad that you have some nice family members like the one you mentioned above! Hopefully you can lean on them for some support.

 

[Llama]

and im so sorry i dont have a positive nice diary for
people to read

I think we're all sorry about that. But sorry for you, not for us.
If you're so nauseated by the pain and the stress it may help to eat your soup in tiny portions, just a couple of spoonfuls every hour or so. I don't know about you but for me that helps keep things down when I'm feeling really rough.

 

[bluehat]

cottage cheese 480
12 cups water

 

[bluehat]

had the opportunity to food shop today
and calorically (sp.?) it should last 4.4 days
at 1600 calories each day
so we shall see

 

[Llama]

I'm glad to hear that. Hope you'll feel well enough to eat.

 

[bluehat]

not doing well already
110 calories left to the 1600
not going to make it

i have thought of ways to solve this
all i can come up with is to not have
food in my place
and go out to get it daily
this is ok in the nice weather but
there are days in snowstorms its
not possible so that would leave
days with 0 to eat

i considered meals on wheels
but ive seen them arrive for others
near where i live and i would absolutely
starve

ive been invited to eat a meal with another
person everyday as a means to help solve
this but i dont think eating with the mean
person (an abusive x) will really help
yes its the same mean person ive been
referring to in my diary

i think the biggest block is that without
an appetite that stops its hard to know
when my body really needs something

increasing water doesnt work either
ive had to increase my water to 12 cups
for medical reasons and it hasnt made a difference
to the appetite

the ed help in my area is for 25 and under
people age group

dieticians are out because they still think
dieting works and it doesnt

so im still stuck with no way to solve this

 

[Llama]

I'm sorry you still have to deal with your ex. I would like to repeat my advice of digging into the archives of the blog "the fat nutritionist".

 

[bluehat]

I'm sorry you still have to deal with your ex. I would like to repeat my advice of digging into the archives of the blog "the fat nutritionist".

i went when u first told me about it
but it never hurts to go back

 

[bluehat]

yesterday--

salad 315
pea soup 550
pea soup 550
11 cups water


today i dont know
i wasnt able to make
the 4.4 days of food
last so there's
nothing
for 2 more days
maybe someone will
have meal leftovers
hopefully

 

[Llama]

maybe someone will
have meal leftovers
hopefully

I´m so sorry you have to deal with that, hon. It´s not fair and you deserve better.

 

[bluehat]

yesterday--
ended up with some beef leftovers
its was lots so its all fine
12 cups water