Attracting Shy, Athletic, Driven girls

I'm not saying to be Tom about it, not my style, but don't hang around becoming her best friend for half a year before you make your move. 3d date is not a friend.

And I don't agree with the "she'll let the guy know" well, sure she probably will, but in my experience girls actually like it when a man doesn't just sit around and wait for her to decide what he should do. This fits right into the recent discussion about men and todays society, this is exactly what I'm talking about in the other thread.

Just my opinion.
 
Karky said:
I'm not saying to be Tom about it, not my style, but don't hang around becoming her best friend for half a year before you make your move. 3d date is not a friend.

And I don't agree with the "she'll let the guy know" well, sure she probably will, but in my experience girls actually like it when a man doesn't just sit around and wait for her to decide what he should do. This fits right into the recent discussion about men and todays society, this is exactly what I'm talking about in the other thread.

Just my opinion.
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Yeah, I can see what you're saying, but I guess every girl is different. I dated a guy for like 2 months about a year ago and he was extremely aggressive. It turned me off big time. It was quite scary, frankly.

I prefer the kind, sensitive type. Although I think some girls do like the danger that comes with an aggressive man.
 
I know the dangers of "the friend zone"...I don't expect to be her friend. Cause she'll probably be gone at the end of the summer, and I really don't want a relationship. I'm just going to say hi and try to talk it up (even though I'm not the talking type) and get a feel from there.
 
I wish girls were more aggressive. Once went out with this Phillipino girl and she was so quiet, sensitive, and never made any real decisions. She wanted me to be the aggressive one and to make all the decisions.
 
LeiYunFat said:
I know the dangers of "the friend zone"...I don't expect to be her friend. Cause she'll probably be gone at the end of the summer, and I really don't want a relationship. I'm just going to say hi and try to talk it up (even though I'm not the talking type) and get a feel from there.
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If you don't want a relationship then why do you want to approach her? Isn't that what approaching someone is for, a relationship?
 
The worst thing she can say is no, i hear that all the time. But lets face it, if she says no thats pretty devastating. Its not like sking wether a canteen sells your favourite ice cream, it's about whether the girl of your dreams feels the same way back..;)
 
spicy, please don't twist my words, I never said agressive. It's getting really annoying.

and maybe he doesn't want a relationship, maybe he just wants a thing.
 
karks is right. I just want to have fun. If she isn't down, I don't care. I am just going to say hi and take it from there.

I don't know about the girl of my dreams, matt...:) I just noticed her and wanted to get some input on these girls with whom I don't really know the best methods of attack.
 
LeiYunFat said:
karks is right. I just want to have fun. If she isn't down, I don't care. I am just going to say hi and take it from there.

I don't know about the girl of my dreams, matt...:) I just noticed her and wanted to get some input on these girls with whom I don't really know the best methods of attack.
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I should caution you. If you're just looking for something casual you should make it incredibly clear that that's all you want right off the bat. Don't trick her into thinking you're in love with her just to get her in bed. I almost had a guy do that to me about a year ago. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. Fortunately, I was self respecting enough to say no.

Make sure she doesn't want a relationship if you go forward with this, please! You could seriously break her heart if you sleep with her and then never call back. Like I said, there are plenty of women who are up for casual flings. Find one of them. The fact that this girl has never had a boyfriend means that she's probably never slept with anyone, and girls generally make that decision for a reason.
 
spicypumpkin said:
I should caution you. If you're just looking for something casual you should make it incredibly clear that that's all you want right off the bat. Don't trick her into thinking you're in love with her just to get her in bed. I almost had a guy do that to me about a year ago. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. Fortunately, I was self respecting enough to say no.

Make sure she doesn't want a relationship if you go forward with this, please! You could seriously break her heart if you sleep with her and then never call back. Like I said, there are plenty of women who are up for casual flings. Find one of them. The fact that this girl has never had a boyfriend means that she's probably never slept with anyone, and girls generally make that decision for a reason.
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I think what Lei is saying is that he's going to play it casual and if it turns into something a bit more serious...cool. If it doesn't...cool also. I also don't think he's expecting her to have time to invest in a 'real' relationship.

And I'm curious...were you saying girls should always make the first move? This makes it sound like the guy should just sit there like a statue until the girl goes in for the kiss/hug/grope/etc. It's just been my experience that guys who just sit and twiddle their thumbs waiting for the girl to make the first move end up missing out.

Cosmo says that the 3rd date is usually when women will love you physically.
 
evolution said:
I think what Lei is saying is that he's going to play it casual and if it turns into something a bit more serious...cool. If it doesn't...cool also. I also don't think he's expecting her to have time to invest in a 'real' relationship.

And I'm curious...were you saying girls should always make the first move? This makes it sound like the guy should just sit there like a statue until the girl goes in for the kiss/hug/grope/etc. It's just been my experience that guys who just sit and twiddle their thumbs waiting for the girl to make the first move end up missing out.

Cosmo says that the 3rd date is usually when women will love you physically.
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I guess I come from the more traditional school of thought that sex should be reserved for serious, monogamous relationships. Generally, most women can't achieve sexual satisfaction from intercourse alone, and that's generally all casual flings are. It's for the man's satisfaction unless the girl really knows what she's doing. From the information I've gathered it may take months or even years for a couple to teach eachother the nuisances of satisfying eachother. Female satisfaction rarely results from a casual, one time thing. If a girl says otherwise, she's probably faking it to protect your ego. Sorry.

And in my opinion, if a girl sleeps with you on the third date, she's desperate. And to me (maybe not to a lot of people) it's just plain trashy. Why sleep with someone you barely know? You're giving up a part of your body and a part of yourself. It's an incredibly intimate thing. You'd think that you would want to at least know the person.

I'm sure not everyone will agree with me, but I do have more traditional views about sex. It's not a commodity to me. It's not a game. It's not a one time thing you can give away. I know people do it, but I choose not to. I love myself, and I know myself. I know how to stay completely sexually satisfied. I'm in no way against sex, in fact I respect it so much that I have put it on an incredibly high pedestal. It's so special that I care enough to respect myself and know myself inside and out before I try to share it with anyone else. To me, it's a spiritual connection between two human beings. It's sacred.

What I'm saying is that a lot of girls feel the same way, and it's generally because they know and respect their bodies. So I'm just saying, there's a chance this girl could not be willing to give you satisfaction with no commitment. She may want something in return (as most women do). Generally that requires some commitment. Women aren't sex objects that you can "score". They are sexual beings with sexual feelings, and they want to be satisfied too. Be careful, that's all I'm saying.
 
I've talked to her twice since I've seen her twice. The first time I tried to converse with her, all I got was "uhh...ummm..." but I finally managed to get her name. The second time I just said hi. At least she was lookin at me half naked.

This girl is said to be very nontalkative and socially inept. So I consider that a marginal success since I have only seen her twice in the last two weeks.

What do you suggest I do to spark up conversation next time? She's always off doing something whenever I see her.
 
Spicy, you say girls don't like sex unless they know the person well? Maybe you don't, but what makes you an expert on every other woman out there?
 
She's probably thinking to her self " God damnit who is this dude that keeps trying to hit on me..doesn't he get it im not interested?! Now I need to find another pool to do my training."

lol, jk.
 
spicypumpkin said:
Generally, most women can't achieve sexual satisfaction from intercourse alone, and that's generally all casual flings are. It's for the man's satisfaction unless the girl really knows what she's doing. From the information I've gathered it may take months or even years for a couple to teach eachother the nuisances of satisfying eachother. Female satisfaction rarely results from a casual, one time thing. If a girl says otherwise, she's probably faking it to protect your ego. Sorry.
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:rofl: Where in the world did you get this information?? lmao..

EDIT** on a side note, you shouldn't really have to rely on a girl 'saying' she had an orgasm. You should really notice those sort of things...
 
mreik said:
:rofl: Where in the world did you get this information?? lmao..

EDIT** on a side note, you shouldn't really have to rely on a girl 'saying' she had an orgasm. You should really notice those sort of things...
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Mreik, I had an orgasm.
 
Karky said:
Mreik, I had an orgasm.
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Whew, I thought you farted. Anyways, I need expressed written verification. Not implied oral, after all you might just be helping my ego. As a matter of fact it doesn't matter, my ego's so big it could give you an orgasm. :rofl:
 
spicypumpkin said:
Generally, most women can't achieve sexual satisfaction from intercourse alone... Female satisfaction rarely results from a casual, one time thing. If a girl says otherwise, she's probably faking it to protect your ego. Sorry.
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Eh. I don't agree. If there was really nothing of pleasure in it for the woman then there wouldn't be so many one-night stands and intermittent flings. Besides, if a man knows what he is doing over all and the woman is comfortable with her body and is in a willing situation, then there's no reason she can't acheive orgasm.


And in my opinion, if a girl sleeps with you on the third date, she's desperate. And to me (maybe not to a lot of people) it's just plain trashy. Why sleep with someone you barely know?
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Why? Exactly how many dates qualify for not being trashy?
 
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