Thanks for the replies!
![Love :love: :love:](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
And the reminders to go easy on myself.
Stupidly, I went from last Thursday to yesterday without much exercise at all. No at-home weights, no skating. I think all I did was an hour's walk on Sunday. I cannot possibly hope to achieve my goals like that. Anyway, back on it! Yesterday I gave my lower body a great workout and then went to skate this morning (12 miles) and really felt those muscles working hard. This made me happy (evidence of head in arse, again). Tomorrow I have a house-packing job, which should keep me out of trouble most of the day, I hope.
Been OD'ing on caffeine this week, flirtin' with the migraines.
Since last week I have been bouncing all kinds of ideas around about not letting myself down, not sabotaging myself. As I was skating this morning, I kept thinking to myself "Why would I do something that makes absolutely no sense to me, such as eat certain things or large quantities of the wrong things?" and I really don't have an answer on that. But I do know that I don't want to let myself down. Whenever I make slight gains (or losses, hah), it helps me to vote against sabotaging actions as they present themselves. I mean, I can admire cheesecake in the store but I don't have to give it my phone number and invite it home with me.
About two years ago I started a mental health happiness visual tool thing. I knew that if I skated 20+ miles one day, I would have a healthy outlook, personality and strong brain for 3 days. So I would color that day yellow, plus the next two yellow as well! For every day I worked out or walked an hour or more, I would have those things for that day at least, and color just that day yellow. My goal (both because of how I wanted to treat myself, and my loved ones) was to have as many 'yellow' (= happy) days on the calendar as possible, to avoid going down the vortex, which itself could last three weeks if I let it. And we're not talking being slightly narky, here, but a bit more 'Allie Brosch and Hyperbole and a Half' kind of depression. So I bought a big paper wall calendar of a whole year laid out, and stuck it on the wall. I colored the days yellow as applicable. It seriously improved my life regarding mental and physical health. It was partly an experiment and partly a quick visual aid for myself. So instead of wandering around with my head down going "What's WRONG with me?!", I could just look up at that calendar and go "Oh ok. THAT'S what's wrong with me!". I know there are apps now that provide similar visuals, but I wanted a real life, in your face one, because if I want to ignore something on my phone, I WILL ignore something on my phone. This way, it was out there on the wall for me and anybody visiting to see
![Laugh :LOL: :LOL:](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)
. All of this to say, it's time I got another wall calendar, stuck it up on the wall and got the yellow highlighter pen ready.
I specifically didn't sully it with talk of food, diet, having "good" or "bad" days. No macros, numbers, other colors. Just either yellow, or blah paper color, and purely related to exercise, vis a vis mental health. That's where it all starts, with me. Everything flows out from that.
I ate very well today. Either good proteins and veg, or non-harmful carbs and fats. No overeating or binging. Yay. I felt that post-skate hunger surge 10 hours after I skated, which was telling me "carbs! Now!", so I did - I ate a nice bowl of crunchy, non-sugared cornflakes (quite basically - the ingredients are just corn and some salt, from Fresh Market).