misty22
Well-known member
Thank you xx
Weight Loss Diary 2017 - Goal 1-0-5
- Thread starter misty22
- Start date
Thank you xx
misty22
Well-known member
CW: 111lbs
6 more lbs to go - they seem to want to linger and hold on to me for dear life.
I must admit, I have been sick and have not cared about what I am eating. I ordered in as I was too sick to go outside and get something healthy. I gained 2 lbs back. I also started the pill which will probably have me put on a few lbs- I figure I will give this thing a month or two.
I debated adjusting the goal down to 100lbs and I do not want to right now. I am fairly short, 4ft 11' and 5ft on a good day. I could stand to go down to 95lbs but just seems weird to even type. I feel 105lbs will be good. I have a broad build so I'm never going to look skinny. I have an hour glass shape for sure. Anyways, also with my hormones so up and down I think reaching 105lbs would be ideal. My body is adjusting to a lot as is. She has been on a roller coaster ride for the past two years and I just want to help her. I just want her to be normal and happy.
Today I have an appointment/consult for egg freezing at the hospital. Just questions for now. The procedure is a bit pricey - I don't have the funds for it till next year to be honest. But hoping to get all my questions answered today.
It worries me - my health. It worries me that I cannot function like a normal human being. I want to get married. I want to have kids. I want to be able to take care of my aging parents. It worries me that I will not be able to take care of others b/c I am so focused on fixing myself. I can't do anything except for try my best and pray. My mind struggles with deciding what is best for me. Also because there has been so little progress if any.
But giving up. That would be the worst.
6 more lbs to go - they seem to want to linger and hold on to me for dear life.
I must admit, I have been sick and have not cared about what I am eating. I ordered in as I was too sick to go outside and get something healthy. I gained 2 lbs back. I also started the pill which will probably have me put on a few lbs- I figure I will give this thing a month or two.
I debated adjusting the goal down to 100lbs and I do not want to right now. I am fairly short, 4ft 11' and 5ft on a good day. I could stand to go down to 95lbs but just seems weird to even type. I feel 105lbs will be good. I have a broad build so I'm never going to look skinny. I have an hour glass shape for sure. Anyways, also with my hormones so up and down I think reaching 105lbs would be ideal. My body is adjusting to a lot as is. She has been on a roller coaster ride for the past two years and I just want to help her. I just want her to be normal and happy.
Today I have an appointment/consult for egg freezing at the hospital. Just questions for now. The procedure is a bit pricey - I don't have the funds for it till next year to be honest. But hoping to get all my questions answered today.
It worries me - my health. It worries me that I cannot function like a normal human being. I want to get married. I want to have kids. I want to be able to take care of my aging parents. It worries me that I will not be able to take care of others b/c I am so focused on fixing myself. I can't do anything except for try my best and pray. My mind struggles with deciding what is best for me. Also because there has been so little progress if any.
But giving up. That would be the worst.
misty22
Well-known member
I'm not here for products. Let's be clear.
overlandflyer
Well-known member
they are annoying, but just hit "report" and the reply will be gone in less than a day.
best to not even acknowledge.
don't even get me started on robo-calls... my cell phone is getting to be less useful and more annoying every day.
overlandflyer
Well-known member
no matter what your weight, the last 4-5 lbs are definitely the hardest to lose. not only that... with me they all seem to be in one place... NOT FAIR... 
misty22
Well-known member
misty22
Well-known member
no matter what your weight, the last 4-5 lbs are definitely the hardest to lose. not only that... with me they all seem to be in one place... NOT FAIR...
Haha, I know right. I feel my lbs are pretty spread out. I'm just taking it as it goes at this point and doing my best to eat clean. It is basically winter here so I am going to be walking less outside unfortunately. But there is always the indoor gym. I've just been low on energy. But will get back into it. Love walks.
Absolutely, and for sure!
Hang in there, Misty - cheering you on for the last six to go!
misty22
Well-known member
Absolutely, and for sure!
Thanks so much, I appreciate it xxAbsolutely, and for sure!
misty22
Well-known member
My medication is weird, my body is still getting used to it. There are days when I am ravenous and there are days when I feel nauseous. The hormone levels will vary by week so let's see. Praying this medication works and that my hair loss stops - still some ways to go - 2 months at least. Counting the days down. I hope it works.
I went out dancing yesterday with an old coworker and her friends. It was sooooo much fun. I actually went dancing because I felt low. This is going to sound strange to everyone but Instagram is the new platform where people meet, talk, connect. This one dude that I liked unfollowed me yesterday, maybe he found someone else, maybe he's just not interested. But it hurt. I felt rejected. And I still feel rejected. This is after I wished him a "happy birthday" a day earlier. But instead of mope around yesterday, I went out and had a blast.
Today, though, I do feel a bit low. I do wish I had someone. It's been difficult prioritizing health, makes you feel lonely, because if I cannot function, how can I expect to function in a relationship.
Sometimes my friends/coworkers tell me to just "sleep with someone". But they're missing the point. I want to build a future with someone. It's the romantic in me. I do not want a cheap thrill - those can be nice sometimes - but I am in a different life stage. It's not about the sex. It's about companionship.
Also the last two boys I have invited over (over the past year - is it sad that only two have come over?) have noticed the hair loss. Which just impacts my self esteem even more. Because I can literally shed all over the bed with just a bit of friction.
One of these days though, I'm hopefully, going to be posting saying two things a) my hair loss is tapering and b) I've found someone fantastic.
The thought makes me smile, one day soon, iA
CW: 109.6 lbs
I went out dancing yesterday with an old coworker and her friends. It was sooooo much fun. I actually went dancing because I felt low. This is going to sound strange to everyone but Instagram is the new platform where people meet, talk, connect. This one dude that I liked unfollowed me yesterday, maybe he found someone else, maybe he's just not interested. But it hurt. I felt rejected. And I still feel rejected. This is after I wished him a "happy birthday" a day earlier. But instead of mope around yesterday, I went out and had a blast.
Today, though, I do feel a bit low. I do wish I had someone. It's been difficult prioritizing health, makes you feel lonely, because if I cannot function, how can I expect to function in a relationship.
Sometimes my friends/coworkers tell me to just "sleep with someone". But they're missing the point. I want to build a future with someone. It's the romantic in me. I do not want a cheap thrill - those can be nice sometimes - but I am in a different life stage. It's not about the sex. It's about companionship.
Also the last two boys I have invited over (over the past year - is it sad that only two have come over?) have noticed the hair loss. Which just impacts my self esteem even more. Because I can literally shed all over the bed with just a bit of friction.
One of these days though, I'm hopefully, going to be posting saying two things a) my hair loss is tapering and b) I've found someone fantastic.
The thought makes me smile, one day soon, iA
CW: 109.6 lbs
alligatorob
Respected Member
Good to hear you went out dancing and had fun, that is great. I think your goal of finding someone for a good relationship makes a lot of sense, but I know it can be frustrating and take time. I am sure it will workout if you stick to it.
I have no Instagram account, not even sure what what is, but if it helps I still like you and follow your diary. No unfriending here!
I have no Instagram account, not even sure what what is, but if it helps I still like you and follow your diary. No unfriending here!
misty22
Well-known member
Hug to you, Misty - it is tough feeling single in a couple-focussed environment. Your friends who say "just sleep with someone" are missing the point in a big way. All I can say is that you are a unique and valuable person - hang in there, and great that you went out and had yourself a blast.On the less important (but still pretty significant) side of things - i see you are down under 110, edging towards 109! Just four and a bit pounds to go!
Go, you!
misty22
Well-known member
On the less important (but still pretty significant) side of things - i see you are down under 110, edging towards 109! Just four and a bit pounds to go!
I love your positive energy - can feel it through the computer screen =)
Cate
Long term member
& I will smile with you xoxo
misty22
Well-known member
Haven't been to the gym in a while, hope to try that today. Not sure if I should adjust goal. Will try to get to 105lbs and see.
I pulled the BMI calculator today to see if 100lbs is too low - it's normal BMI for someone my height. But let's see how I feel at 105lbs.
I don't think I've ever been lower than 102/103lbs in my adult age.
I pulled the BMI calculator today to see if 100lbs is too low - it's normal BMI for someone my height. But let's see how I feel at 105lbs.
I don't think I've ever been lower than 102/103lbs in my adult age.
alligatorob
Respected Member
A very rational approach. Good for you!
misty22
Well-known member
CW: 110.6lbs
I had a bad diet day yesterday. We had a company meeting and here I was thinking they'd cater healthy food, like they usually do. Nope, pizza, and I was starving. And there was cake. And I emotional ate on some m&ms - that was enough for me to gain a lb in a day. These birth control pills have increased my appetite I have noticed, which means I need to make a more conscious effort to eat healthy/low-calorie.
I literally ate nothing healthy yesterday - maybe except for a banana.
That said, my diet is typically OK, so I messed up one day. I just fear going down this unhealthy path. It is a legit fear. I can't think straight around junk food sometimes. Especially if I am angry/upset. I may go home for lunch today.
I am finding that I am not interested in healthy food right now - combination of its getting boring and my stomach has not felt well on the medication. The nausea makes me crave sugar and fizz. I must, at minumum, try to control calories. My activity has been OK,
I had a bad diet day yesterday. We had a company meeting and here I was thinking they'd cater healthy food, like they usually do. Nope, pizza, and I was starving. And there was cake. And I emotional ate on some m&ms - that was enough for me to gain a lb in a day. These birth control pills have increased my appetite I have noticed, which means I need to make a more conscious effort to eat healthy/low-calorie.
I literally ate nothing healthy yesterday - maybe except for a banana.
That said, my diet is typically OK, so I messed up one day. I just fear going down this unhealthy path. It is a legit fear. I can't think straight around junk food sometimes. Especially if I am angry/upset. I may go home for lunch today.
I am finding that I am not interested in healthy food right now - combination of its getting boring and my stomach has not felt well on the medication. The nausea makes me crave sugar and fizz. I must, at minumum, try to control calories. My activity has been OK,
alligatorob
Respected Member
A banana is a good start, no need to be angry or upset, not over yesterday anyway. If you eat well today you will be fine!