Trying to find me

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FindingMe said:
Hello all,
Well this is my first visit here and I am hoping it can help me out a bit . I am hoping that if I have somewhere to write whenever I feel the need to then maybe I can stop eating at those times instead . I am very overweight right now and have been for a while , but it really has hit a new level . I am 5"2 and weigh 235 lbs . Things hurt now . My knees , my back , and it is getting harder to do things . I want to keep up with my kids and never hold our family back on an outing .

I have been pregnant or nursing for over 10 years now . I have 6 awesome kids and the last one is now 2 and we aren't having anymore . I have never had a 2 year old and not had a newborn or about to have one imminently . So this is kind of a new stage for me. Things will be a slow go I am sure but I just can't keep getting bigger .

I have a real addiction to sugar and just snacking in general ( especially late night) . It is proving very hard to break so I thought maybe i make time to write here in the night instead of snacking .

I hope whatever spot you are all on in your journey's is going well for you !
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I will probably be regarded as a disgusting dinosaur, but in my opinion there is nothing more important and harder then being a mother. The western world has demonized motherhood and I am ashamed of that. I for one at least am amazed and proud of how you chose to live your life, no woman in the world in my opinion is more important then a mother, no CEO, no Model, no movie star, no music star etc! I am a Registered Nurse, a former power lifter and bodybuilder and consider myself a big strong guy, but I am nothing compared to a good mother.

I know you will achieve your goals, and we will do our best to help you on your journey.
 
Thanks everyone for the support . Today will be a better day . The smallest little one and I shovelled the driveway after dropping the kids off at school and just starting the day off with fresh air always helps me feel more positive for the day . Luckily it is only -5 out today so we could be out today for a bit before the 2 year old said she was done ( it's hard to move in a snowsuit at that age )
 
FindingMe said:
The smallest little one and I shovelled the driveway after dropping the kids off at school and just starting the day off with fresh air always helps me feel more positive for the day . Luckily it is only -5 out today so we could be out today for a bit before the 2 year old said she was done ( it's hard to move in a snowsuit at that age )
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Sounds like great fun for both of you, and not a little exercise.
 
Well the weather was nice in the morning but sure turned cold with a mean wind by evening . My day was okay for eating , it started to take it's usually bad turn towards evening but I was able to turn back pretty quick tonight . This weekend will be hard though because since my husband is overseas for 6 months I told the kids that everytime we hit another month of the tour done ( around the 15th) every kid will get a turn to pick fast food for their night . 6 kids = 6 months and then dad is home . I still am happy I told the kids we could do this , it makes it seem kind of fun dad is gone and they all are very much looking forward to their turns Still it will be hard to say no to take out . I did it last month , it was McDonald's and I can resist that pretty easily ( I still like it but it isn't a huge draw ) so either tomorrow night or Saturday night I will have to really dig deep for some willpower , because I would really like to lose a noticeable amount of weight before my husband comes home .
 
Fingers crossed this weekend will be something easy-to-resist again! Or even better: something which has tasty, healthy options.
 
A two-year-old in a snowsuit is a absolutely delight to picture, especially one "helping" to shovel snow! :)

Six months is plenty of time for there to be a really seeable difference - and a great goal to have. Are the kids going through their fast-food picks in age order? (You should be able to cleverly prime the two-year-old at least, for something good!) I hope this time's is a place with a salad bar!
 
aiminglow said:
A two-year-old in a snowsuit is a absolutely delight to picture, especially one "helping" to shovel snow! :)

Six months is plenty of time for there to be a really seeable difference - and a great goal to have. Are the kids going through their fast-food picks in age order? (You should be able to cleverly prime the two-year-old at least, for something good!) I hope this time's is a place with a salad bar!
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good idea I will work on her , but I think the other kids have the same plan of just getting her to say one of their choices again lol
 
So I realized last night it has been over a week since I started this journal and maybe 2.5 weeks since I got serious about better eating . I weighed myself today and I am at 230 lbs ! Down 5 pounds ! So happy that I saw good news on the scale , also makes me realize how far I have to go so I better not mess this up and gain those 5 pounds back again just to have to re-lose them again one day . So feeling motivated towards the next 5 pounds .
 
I am so tired tonight , didn't do anything extra tonight but I will hopefully be calling it an early night because I know when I get really tired I reach for sugar . Probably doesn't help I haven't drank much water today I am realizing now and I usually drink a lot. Kids want to head to the gym tomorrow just to play , it is fairly empty on weekends so we just go and one kid likes to practise volleyball , another basketball , a few just like to run or make obstacle courses with fitness equipment . It is great in the winter when the kids are getting so much less time outside for burning off their energy .We are expecting snow tomorrow afternoon so we will have to make sure we get out in the morning for it . The kids didn't remember about the fast food I owe them so I didn't have to worry about temptation tonight . I have to say I love ordering my groceries online where they bring it out to my vehicle for me at the store , so much easier to stay on budget but also to stay on meal plan , no grabbing something because it looks so tasty or worse because you end up shopping when you are hungry and grabbing that easy chocolate bar to eat . I may never go in a grocery store again lol.
 
Oh, that's terrific, about the five pounds down! Well done, you! :hurray:

The visit to the gym sounds great for all of you! And yes, keep swigging that water - beautiful, pure drinking water! :) (I love it, personally!)
Keeping out of devious supermarkets and shops is good strategy - they are so skilled at persuading people to buy "specials", or putting things right in your way so they catch your eye, etc.
 
Well unfortunately no gym play time today , some friends asked to borrow our van to pick up some building materials this morning so we stayed home .

The kids have been pretty busy all day together and that has kept my youngest busy so I went through some old clothes that are from when I was finishing high school. It has always been "one day I will maybe fit that again so I will keep it ," well I doubt I will ever fit some of these things again now ( I don't think these hips are going back to that small after 6 kids ) but mostly I realized even if I did fit into these things again , I wouldn't wear them because I am 31 now lol the good thing about having held onto these things is my eldest daughter ,who is much taller than I was at her age , went through it all and found a ton of stuff she wanted that fit her and some stuff she would like have packed away again till she fits it .

we are having quite a bit of snow today so the kids understood why we didn't get their monthly fast food tonight. Which worked for me because just puts it off another day or even maybe week and maybe my willpower will be even better then . I feel I have a ton of cravings tonight it has been really hard so far this evening and I know the night will be even harder . I may just ignore the laundry and go to sleep early tonight just to avoid them .

I have to say I love never feeling too full . I didn't really realize before how often I was uncomfortable before or didn't want to do stuff after supper because I was too full feeling and I just wanted to sit down for a bit. Also I think maybe my stomach has shrank a bit too because I don't really feel hungry through the day at all.
 
FindingMe said:
maybe my stomach has shrank a bit too because I don't really feel hungry through the day at all
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Good for you, not feeling hungry really helps, me anyway. I know what you are saying about feeling better when not full, I am the same, but somehow it never seemed to keep me from bingeing. I am appreciating it now.
 
Your daughter must have had a ball going through your old things! I always feel accomplished and light after sorting things and throwing them out - marvelous feeling.
Not feeling overly full is lovely as well. Great work!
 
That's great about enjoying not feeling too full - a mild discomfort that you're no longer feeling (that could go on the non-scale victories thread! :D ).
Your stomach or appetite probably has shrunk a bit; I know it's a bit of a surprise for me, sometimes, when I think "Oh, I'm feeling full - but surely I could usually polish off that extra bit of toast (or whatever)." You are pretty young, so your body is probably adjusting quite happily to the new regime.
By the way - don't give up on clothes you still like too quickly! You might well be surprised - other people here have been! - at how you can fit in again to clothes you never thought you would! (But maybe your daughter would lend them back to you! :D )
 
aiminglow said:
That's great about enjoying not feeling too full - a mild discomfort that you're no longer feeling (that could go on the non-scale victories thread! :D ).
Your stomach or appetite probably has shrunk a bit; I know it's a bit of a surprise for me, sometimes, when I think "Oh, I'm feeling full - but surely I could usually polish off that extra bit of toast (or whatever)." You are pretty young, so your body is probably adjusting quite happily to the new regime.
By the way - don't give up on clothes you still like too quickly! You might well be surprised - other people here have been! - at how you can fit in again to clothes you never thought you would! (But maybe your daughter would lend them back to you! :D )
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Lol I am sure she would let me borrow them if I ever fit them again ,but in my 30's now looking at those low ride jeans I wore at 18 not sure that's something I ever want to wear again.
 
So went out and shovelled some snow while the kids were playing outside . Then the 2 smallest wanted in so we went in and made all the other kids hot chocolate and my youngest really wanted to make me one. So I said sure and gave her the stuff to make it . Meanwhile the whole time I am worried if I have this delicious hot chocolate is it going to kick off a sugar rampage . So I got it from her and took a drink and I love hot chocolate , it was so tasty . Then my little one walked away and I was going to continue drinking it anyways but another kid happened to turn on a good song and we started a kitchen dance party and the music really helped , I had my protein shake instead and then by the time ii got back to the counter I found my oldest drinking the hot chocolate anyways lol. Feeling good these days .
 
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