Trying to find me

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FindingMe

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Hello all,
Well this is my first visit here and I am hoping it can help me out a bit . I am hoping that if I have somewhere to write whenever I feel the need to then maybe I can stop eating at those times instead . I am very overweight right now and have been for a while , but it really has hit a new level . I am 5"2 and weigh 235 lbs . Things hurt now . My knees , my back , and it is getting harder to do things . I want to keep up with my kids and never hold our family back on an outing .

I have been pregnant or nursing for over 10 years now . I have 6 awesome kids and the last one is now 2 and we aren't having anymore . I have never had a 2 year old and not had a newborn or about to have one imminently . So this is kind of a new stage for me. Things will be a slow go I am sure but I just can't keep getting bigger .

I have a real addiction to sugar and just snacking in general ( especially late night) . It is proving very hard to break so I thought maybe i make time to write here in the night instead of snacking .

I hope whatever spot you are all on in your journey's is going well for you !
 
Hey Finding, welcome to the forum!

I think you will find this is just the place you have been looking for. You will find lots of people with problems similar to yours who are working to solve them. Most are friendly and helpful. I suggest you go to the Welcome to the Journals page (https://weight-loss.fitness.com/threads/welcome-to-the-journals-diaries-at-wlf.16575/), copy the questions to your diary and answer them. It will help people know more about you, and get you started faster.

I look forward to reading about your progress.
 
FindingMe said:
... make time to write here in the night instead of snacking .
Click to expand...
Yes! We have a saying, actually... write, don't bite! :D So it sounds like this site would be perfect for you. Anyway, whether we're perfect or flawed (ahem!) welcome to the site, and I hope we prove to be useful to you.

It's true what Rob says, that there are lots of people who are friendly and helpful - and there's quite a few are really knowledgeable, too, about nutrition, and exercise and the mind-traps that can go along with weight gain. I know I'm learning a lot.

Ouch, ouch for the pain in your knees and your back - I really, really hope that with a bit of weight loss, that can ease soon. Meanwhile, as a non-expert, can I suggest that you go easy on your knees while they're healing? I mean, keep on with ordinary life, but don't get into violent exercise or push them past where they're willing to go.

Cheers! :seeya:
 
Welcome to the forum, FM. You have come to a friendly & supportive place. When I first joined the forum I was on a very strict diet & used to come in here whenever I wanted to eat something off-plan. It worked well. We all follow different plans & are at different stages, but are more similar than not. Find something that you think might work for you long-term & is healthy. Having a healthy Mum is a great example for your kids.
 
How much weight do you want to lose?
---95 lbs
What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight?
---- I don't have an exact set date but I guess I always think in 1 year

How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)?
------ just eating cleaner and eventually more excercise

Who or what can support you in reaching your goal?
------- I have a very supportive husband who is also very knowledgeable with diet and exercise

How realistic is your goal?
-------- I think it is pretty realistic and I feel I understand how it goes slower the lower you get so might take longer

When will you start?
----- I have officially started already , no more "next Monday or after that holiday "
 
aiminglow said:
Yes! We have a saying, actually... write, don't bite! :D So it sounds like this site would be perfect for you. Anyway, whether we're perfect or flawed (ahem!) welcome to the site, and I hope we prove to be useful to you.

It's true what Rob says, that there are lots of people who are friendly and helpful - and there's quite a few are really knowledgeable, too, about nutrition, and exercise and the mind-traps that can go along with weight gain. I know I'm learning a lot.

Ouch, ouch for the pain in your knees and your back - I really, really hope that with a bit of weight loss, that can ease soon. Meanwhile, as a non-expert, can I suggest that you go easy on your knees while they're healing? I mean, keep on with ordinary life, but don't get into violent exercise or push them past where they're willing to go.

Cheers! :seeya:
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Love that saying lol it is perfect . I will definitely not be launching into much for exercise yet . I am hoping to get a handle on diet a bit first and maybe get some weight off my knees before starting much so thank you for confirming what I was thinking as well.
 
Hey FM, you answered the questions! I think your goal of losing 95 lbs in a year is possible, you should certainly be able to put a good dent in it.
FindingMe said:
I have a very supportive husband who is also very knowledgeable with diet and exercise
Click to expand...
You can't get better support than that!
FindingMe said:
When will you start?
----- I have officially started already , no more "next Monday or after that holiday "
Click to expand...
Great attitude, I believe the only time to start a diet is right now!

You are off to a great start!
 
Hi FM and welcome! Sounds like you´re off to a good start, with excellent support and motivation and a healthy mindset. Best of luck!
 
FindingMe said:
... I have a real addiction to sugar and just snacking in general ( especially late night) . It is proving very hard to break so I thought maybe i make time to write here in the night instead of snacking ...
Click to expand...

there is good news and bad news here...

first the good.... the two things you mention, your fondness for sugar and late night eating (let's not call it snacking) are probably the two worst habits which lead to weight gain. ok, this sounds bad, but it is actually good in the respect that tackling both these things will probably make a dramatic change in your weight. sugar comes in many forms and you need to not only look at the obvious ones... candy, chocolate, etc... but also all the hidden sugars you will typically find in many processed foods. eating constantly (and into the evening) will never let your insulin level drop to the point that you could actually start to burn stored fat. so again, the good news is that you have identified your biggest problems right up front.

the bad news... probably not news to you, but both these habits are enormously addictive. you will likely have a very difficult time changing. sorry, but that's the truth, and i can offer little to no advice on how to turn these around, but if you do, ... perhaps if you can realize the reward, you can address and beat these habits. it is totally up to you. on a daily basis i try to space out meals at least 12 hours apart (minimum) and up to 16, 18 and even 20 hours... but start with 12... your body needs that rest. if not, you will not only keep gaining, but in time you will become insulin resistant and diabetes is just around the corner. if you have a chance to get a blood test, try to find out what your A1C level is.

if you have never heard this before, calories are NOT all the same. there is a big difference in the way your body treats carbohydrates, proteins and fat, the three major macronutrients. both your addictions will be easier to handle by limiting carbs, so try cutting back or eliminating carbohydrate calories first. this is the only advice i can offer to slightly ease your addictions, but again, this will not be easy.

good luck.
 
overlandflyer said:
there is good news and bad news here...

first the good.... the two things you mention, your fondness for sugar and late night eating (let's not call it snacking) are probably the two worst habits which lead to weight gain. ok, this sounds bad, but it is actually good in the respect that tackling both these things will probably make a dramatic change in your weight. sugar comes in many forms and you need to not only look at the obvious ones... candy, chocolate, etc... but also all the hidden sugars you will typically find in many processed foods. eating constantly (and into the evening) will never let your insulin level drop to the point that you could actually start to burn stored fat. so again, the good news is that you have identified your biggest problems right up front.

the bad news... probably not news to you, but both these habits are enormously addictive. you will likely have a very difficult time changing. sorry, but that's the truth, and i can offer little to no advice on how to turn these around, but if you do, ... perhaps if you can realize the reward, you can address and beat these habits. it is totally up to you. on a daily basis i try to space out meals at least 12 hours apart (minimum) and up to 16, 18 and even 20 hours... but start with 12... your body needs that rest. if not, you will not only keep gaining, but in time you will become insulin resistant and diabetes is just around the corner. if you have a chance to get a blood test, try to find out what your A1C level is.

if you have never heard this before, calories are NOT all the same. there is a big difference in the way your body treats carbohydrates, proteins and fat, the three major macronutrients. both your addictions will be easier to handle by limiting carbs, so try cutting back or eliminating carbohydrate calories first. this is the only advice i can offer to slightly ease your addictions, but again, this will not be easy.

good luck.
Click to expand...
I am just learning to accept that this is an actual addiction , I have heard it for years but didn't think I was at that point ( clearly wrong lol) I am definitely cutting down carbs a lot as I feel that will make the biggest difference in me feeling bloated and uncomfortably full. It's nice to hear how hard you know this is ( if that makes sense ) because it makes me feel not as pathetic/ weak about having a hard time .
 
FindingMe said:
I am just learning to accept that this is an actual addiction
Click to expand...
No question it is a kind of addiction, and for me bingeing has many of the same characteristics as I believe getting high has for other kinds of addicts.

I'll give you my unscientific and unresearched opinion, I think over eating and bingeing are natural and instinctive behaviors that evolved in times of food shortages. And for most of human existence food was in very short supply. Cavemen had no McDonalds. Like all genetic traits there are differences from individual to individual, we (me for sure, maybe you, and a lot of others here) are those with the strongest drive to eat anything we can lay our hands on.

If armageddon comes and our food supply is wiped out we could be the only survivors, but that doesn't appear to be happening any time soon. So we need to figure out how to live with it.

Not sure knowing or believing this, if true, helps much but I think it means there is nothing really wrong with us, we just have to learn to live withing the constraints of who we are. And means you are not pathetic or weak, just human.

Keep up the good work, I think you are off to a great start.
 
Definitely not pathetic or weak. Some things really ARE harder for one person than for another. One person stops smoking instantly and the cravings cease after two weeks while my dad stopped at 27 and still craved a cigarette with every beer he drank 20 years later. 25 years later still the cravings are long gone though, so there's hope!
 
LaMaria said:
Definitely not pathetic or weak. Some things really ARE harder for one person than for another. One person stops smoking instantly and the cravings cease after two weeks while my dad stopped at 27 and still craved a cigarette with every beer he drank 20 years later. 25 years later still the cravings are long gone though, so there's hope!
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Very true , thanks for the reminder that some things are harder for some people . My husband is great at making a decision and just sticking to it , doesn't want to eat chocolate anymore okay easy he just won't anymore . Not me lol. good for your dad for quitting and sticking to it , I have never smoked but have known many people that try to quit and only a small percentage have done it so far .
 
Well eating was going pretty well today ,but day isn't my hardest part. I keep opening cupboards and being annoyed that A) there isn't what I want and B) that I keep rechecking the damn cupboards again ! One thing I need to work on that will help me get healthier is sleeping . I have been really great on going on very little sleep for a lot of years with all the kids ( I only make terrible sleepers it turns out) now this part isn't over in my life as my 2 year old still wakes a lot throughout the night but she is also finally starting to do bedtime better at a good time with the other kids . So I should be heading to bed at a decent time and that would make me feel better ,I am sure, but also take away a few of my hardest to deal with nighttime eating hours. Now knowing this solution is great but actually doing it seems to be hard , I keep saying tonight I will go to bed by a certain time or tonight I will go up to bed half an hour earlier and just start backing the time up but then nope around rolls 2-3 am and me cursing myself
 
FindingMe said:
I keep opening cupboards and being annoyed that A) there isn't what I want and B) that I keep rechecking the damn cupboards again !
Click to expand...
I've done plenty of that, but with this diet after a couple of months the compulsion to look for food went away. Hopefully yours will, more quickly than mine.

One thing I find helps is to plan an evening snack into my diet, an apple or something healthy. It helps me go to sleep without being hungry.

Now go to bed!
 
a good word to keep in mind, especially if you are just starting out. a term most usually related to physics, but i believe it is also applicable to weight...

hysteresis ... the phenomenon in which the value of a physical property lags behind changes in the effect causing it.

something you eat today isn't going to affect a change tomorrow. many people start a diet or lifestyle change and in a week are discouraged because they will actually see negative progress. i've heard this a lot... "i've been on this diet for a week, and i've actually gained 5 lbs... what am i doing wrong?".

on the flip side, i believe this is also the reason many people start gaining weight again. another phrase that is not uncommon... "i cheated on my diet this weekend and actually lost another pound... oh boy, this is great. time to order in another pizza."

unfortunately this is also true in politics... i wish more people would consider that when casting a ballot.
 
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overlandflyer said:
a good word to keep in mind, especially if you are just starting out. a term most usually related to physics, but i believe it is also applicable to weight...

hysteresis ... the phenomenon in which the value of a physical property lags behind changes in the effect causing it.

something you eat today isn't going to affect a change tomorrow. many people start a diet or lifestyle change and in a week are discouraged because they will actually see negative progress. i've heard this a lot... "i've been on this diet for a week, and i've actually gained 5 lbs... what am i doing wrong?".

on the flip side, i believe this is also the reason many people start gaining weight again. another phrase that is not uncommon... "i cheated on my diet this weekend and actually lost another pound... oh boy, this is great. time to order in another pizza."

unfortunately this is also true in politics... i wish more people would consider that when casting a ballot.
Click to expand...
Yes I have had that happen before where I was doing really well and seeing no results then binged one night and lost 2 pounds the next day and definitely wanted to believe that pizza was the answer to my problems lol
 
One thing I think most of us agree on is posting in here helps with our motivation, possibly due to feeling accountable to people who do care. Would it help to post your bed-time? Getting enough sleep really does help with weight-loss :)
 
I'm not surprised you're tired, with child-associated sleeping trouble - let alone with six lovely children to care for through the day! Possibly the before-bedtime eating habit is linked strongly to that tiredness - and to you at last having a moment or two to yourself, and therefore wanting to indulge, to be the one getting some of the goodness and comfort you've been handing out in bucketloads all day!

If that strikes a chord, maybe think out ahead of time, every day, something really good and comforting and kind* you can have for yourself that isn't unhelpful food - maybe it'll be a twenty minute skin-care routine with beautifully lavish creams and unguents, maybe it'll be practising ikebana uninterrupted for half an hour, maybe it'll be putting on (with headphones, until your two-year-old has really learned to sleep!) whatever music you like until you feel like sleeping, maybe it'll be food after all - but food that's good and nutritious and doesn't hurt your teeth! Whatever works - but not the unhelpful food, because that will just get you down in the end.

*kindness - there's a sub-thread here which is all about being kind to ourselves ( https://weight-loss.fitness.com/threads/be-kind-to-yourself-every-day-starting-now.113077/ ) - and see Cate's motto above!
 
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