Student, binge eater, and looking for balance...

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cate said:
Do you want to maintain the relationship with your Dad? Will he be supportive of you if he does go or will his being there make the day stressful? It is your day, but it is also your life & your decision. I am sorry that you are under so much stress because of this as it should be your special day.
:grouphug: Try to get back on track & eat as healthily as you can. No matter what else is happening in your life that will help xo
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Honestly, he'll just add stress, and be a reminder of what a shit parent he is...And no, I don't really want to maintain a relationship with him, but my brothers keep him partially included, which makes things more difficult in a way, as its awkward when I have to see him. I've decided I'm not going to invite him-I'm just going to have to put up with the consequences.

I ate alot less yesterday, and feel better already. You're right, it does feel like it helps, in the grand scheme of things xx

Thanks, for the advice guys!
 
Good for you! Your brothers can make their own decisions & so can you. You have just taken another step on the road to independence xo
 
...So, yesterday I kept things really simple-to avoid over eating/comfort eating again..
30 days until holiday:
Breakfast:tea
Lunch: bowl of muesili, skimmed milk and two plums
Dinner: a carton of Leek and Potatoe soup and a low gi bread role.

Calories consumed:1048 (plus a nibble of avo on toast-we tried frozen avocado for the first time! Barely a difference in taste, but much cheaper)
Steps: 16766
Calories burned: 2334

I woke up at 7am to do an hour of study before babysitting and definitely feel like I'm retaining water since eating all the bad food over the last few days, just keeping it simple with food today, and will be walking alot...hopefully I'll feel back to normal in a few days :)
 
Day 29: again, I ruined the day by comfort eating in the evening-50g of biscoff biscuits and four slices of butter and peanut butter (which was all the bread and peanut butter in the house) ... Fell asleep again with a stomach ache...

After lunch I felt so anxious about the essay I have to write, thought I was having a panic attack on my walk to the shops, my heartbeat felt strange and quick.

29 days until holiday:
Breakfast:muesili, skimmed milk, two plums.
Lunch: toast with scrambled egg and salad leaves
Snack: whole punnet of red grapes
Dinner: Quorn Tikka Masala ready meal

Evening comfort eating:4 biscoff biscuits, four peanut butter toasts...

Daily calories consumed:almost 3000
Steps:19268
Projected calories burnt:2457

Have regained all of the binge bloat, feel absolutely gross, and am thinking that I'm probably going to put the 4lbs back on. I'm going back home to my mums house, as I tend to feel less stressed their, and am normally better with eating. Also, my coach is between the comfort eating 'witching hour', so I'm hoping that being distracted will mean a good day of eating for me.

I'm just so overwhelmed with stress... And watching my body go backwards isn't making me feel better about the situation...
 
I'm pushing the reset button. I've spent the last week binging and going back to not making myself meals and then eating tonnes of crap. Yesterday, I ate 5 hot cross buns with butter, two Easter eggs, big bowl of nachos and a whole tub of Ben and Jerry's.

I feel absolutely disgusting, and today is my FINAL DAY of LECTURES. I have no more excuses, I've pretty much finished my essays, and I go on holiday in 21 days. I have been thinking of doing a Diet Bet, for a while now, but I might commit to doing one as I could use all the motivation possible. Today is my last day in my uni town before I go home. Watch this space.
 
Yesterday I didn't eat anything until 5pm, ate some ramen with prawns and kale. Then ate three hot cross buns, one with butter. My calories came in at 1307 calories, and I did 14000 steps.

Today I had a huge urge to not eat breakfast or lunch, but forced myself to. I know that if I don't eat sensibly Ill just binge on loads of crap again-which I've now removed from the house (hot cross buns and all). Also, my erratic eating hours make me thing that my metabolism is out of wack, which is contributing to my want to not eat anything.

Went to the gym earlier and did 16 minutes of hiit, worked on my legs and abs (pahaha-what abs?! XD). Surprisingly, I don't think my level of fitness has reduced but my body doesn't feel like my own at the moment. My legs, stomach and bum feel enormous... I'm going to weigh in tomorrow morning.
 
Food log:19 days until holiday

Breakfast: two crumpets with butter and Marmite, small pot of fruit. 432cals

Lunch:porridge with strawberrys, mixed spices and oat milk, 5 cashews. 419 cals

Dinner: tuna salad, with black olives, cherry tomatoes, and artichokes. 429

Snacks: a raw carrot and pear. 65

Total calories:1345
 
I felt hungry on and off today, stuck to my 1300 calories, plus licking an avocado-ey spoon, and one wheat crunchy... Didn't attempt to try and count those calories :D

Been largely sedentary today, so made an effort to go to the gym-only 13mins hiit running, 5mins incline walk, and some ab work, followed by 20 lengths in the swimming pool-the workout wasn't particularly strong as I had sore legs from yesterday, but better than nothing:willy_nilly:.

Food log:18 days to go :oops:
Breakfast: Oats, hemp milk, blueberries, a strawberry and a few raspberries.

Post gym skinny latte

Lunch: soya quarter pounder, 150g of stir fry veggies, tomatoes, handful of leafy salad.

Snack: pear

Dinner: toasted white soft roll, half can of spaghetti hoops, peas, two Linda McCartney sausages.

1300 cals.
 
Sounds like you´re doing well. 18 days sounds like a good time to start looking at your body and telling yourself it´s a good body (or whatever works for you) as prep for beachwear.
 
LaMaria said:
18 days sounds like a good time to start looking at your body and telling yourself it´s a good body (or whatever works for you) as prep for beachwear.
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Feel like I'm struggling with body issues atm tbh, but I will give it a go, and keep trying to be kinder to myself :confused:
 
Jumped on the scales this morning and according to the scales I have dropped 5lbs of food baby/bloat in the last 3 days of sticking to 1300 calories. I'm now back to my initial lowest weight, following my overall weightloss (not including having sickness bugs). Feeling really confused about it all though, because I still feel like I'm alot bigger-particularly my thighs.

I'm chalking it up to a change in body composition-more fat, less muscle,but it's making me slightly confused. I've been looking at old pictures of myself and I feel like I'm definitely bigger, even though the scales say differently. So I don't really know what that means for future weightloss? Do I have to keep to 1300 calories and lose more weight in order to get back to how I felt I looked before? I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing.

I also got some feedback from am essay that I need to submit by the 6th April (5 days away), telling me that my structure is completely off. Feeling slightly depressed about it, as I thought I had completely finished my degree and was ready to hit the send button. Am now really struggling to work on the paper as I have 0 motivation... and am missing my boyfriend who is with his family for Easter.

Feeling like I want to crawl back into bed and hide from the world, and it's literally 2pm.
 
Don't feel good about having another sedentary day, but it is Easter and the weather is so shitty right now.

Managed to do an hours work on my essay-still so much to do but I'm glad I've started.

Food log: 17 days to go, and I am not ready for beachwear... But I'm trying...

Breakfast: oats, hemp milk, berries.
Lunch: two soya sausages in a wholemeal pitta, with tomatoes and fresh basil, and a pear.
Dinner: small-meadium sized jacket potato with less than half a can of baked beans and a little salad.

Calories before pudding:950 cals.

Pudding: alllloooottttt of fruit-must have been at least 300cals of mango, strawberrys and blueberrys...after which I didn't even want any chocolate, which was what I was hoping for :)

Whilst I totally agree that you should give in and treat yourself to chocolate on Easter, I'm not a short deadline with my goals and want to get as many nutrients as possible, to as close to my calories as possible. I'm going to try and lower my sugars tomorrow, and eat much more savory food :)
 
Not exactly sure on my calories today but I feel like I was probably at around 1400 calories

Food log:16 days to go...

Breakfast: wholemeal pitta, two soya sausages, tomatoes and fresh basil. 320cals

Lunch: 80g of baked salmon, peas, soya bolognase (homemade-two heaped table spoons) and half a jacket potatoe. (319 cals, before bolognase)

Dinner: two and a half heaped spoons of bolognase, cucumber, tomatoes and salad leafs, peas. (Calories?? Who knows)

Snacks: 2 pears, a banana and a 10g lindt bunny (only 57 calories! Win!!). 360 cals.

Exercise:17 mins hiit, 8 mins high incline walking (super sweaty), sit ups and Russian twists with 5lbs weight. (burned at least 300cals)

Feeling much more positive today, I think I will be able to have my essays ready for proof reading within the next two days, and felt really pleased with my workout (which I know I couldn't have done if I was still binge eating) :)

I want to calorie count more strictly tomorrow, and go for a long walk as I've been pretty sedentary (other than the gym) as I've been sitting at a desk all day.

Good day :)
 
Well done on not binge eating, especially considering it was Easter. That's a big win. :hurray:
Double well done on getting stuck into your essays. :hurray:
& a workout? :hurray:
Give yourself a pat on the back. That is excellent!
 
Food log:15 days until I fly to the Philippines :)
Calories today total at 1450ish-would have preferred lower, but hey-ho. I also went for a walk for an hour which increased my stepcount by 8000 steps.

Breakfast: toasted Rye bread with a banana, raspberries and strawberrys

Lunch: 1/2 packet of coconut rice, a tin of tuna, tomatoes and basil leafs.

Dinner: 1/2 can Heinz spaghetti, broccoli, 2 soya sausages and salad.

Snacks: half of a Lola's Cupcake vegan brownie (my mum bought it for me and insisted I had atleast half) and grapes.

My brother is currently in Seville, in Spain and my mum decided to book flights for us to fly out and meet them! We fly in two days and we're going to Gibraltar before we head to Seville-super exciting!

It does mean that I'll need to submit both of my essays tomorrow, whilst it'll be a little stressful I've been working on these essays for so long that I'm looking forward to submitting them ( :beathorse: =me working on my essays...)

It does mean that I won't be hitting the gym hard for the next 2 weeks before the Philippines, but I'll just have to try my best to eat tastey healthy fresh food and walk alot whilst we're in Spain :) We come back on the 11th April, so Ill have a week to get back on track before flying off again :Angel_anim:
 
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Fun, fun, fun- especially after handing in your essays :)
 
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