Rob's Reboot
- Thread starter bensanon
- Start date
I had a really stressful day yesterday but am feeling better this morning. I was able to run another 8 miles yesterday. It felt great. I feel I'm getting there again with my running. This morning, I feel the extended benefits, perhaps too because the mental stress has passed. At any rate, I can tell I can continue to push myself to increase the benefits and get where I want to be.
I didn't get as much food as I should have yesterday and my deficit was 1573. Macro percentages for yesterday were 34-25-41. Those percentages, with 41% protein, are about where I'd like to be.
I didn't get as much food as I should have yesterday and my deficit was 1573. Macro percentages for yesterday were 34-25-41. Those percentages, with 41% protein, are about where I'd like to be.
Thanks, Rob. I appreciate your comments.
I get angry when my body leaves homeostasis and I seriously start losing weight. Do you not? How about depression? I can't say I'll trust your answer if you say, 'no'. You are so consistent with your diet though and the changes you make are very gradual. These may be your secrets along with a daily support mechanism. Here are some articles that I found that talk about the mental health difficulties of losing weight.
The ugly truth about losing weight
5 Women Reveal How They Dealt With Weight-Loss Mood Swings | Women’s Health
I ran every day this week, 49 miles. I didn't realize it until now. I've been feeling really good and I think the benefits of my runs over the past 3 weeks or so are showing up. Today I was in a bit of a flow for the first 5 miles or so. It feels great to be outside too.
My diet this week has been great too. Not letting my deficits get too large has helped a lot.
Overall, a great week.
My diet this week has been great too. Not letting my deficits get too large has helped a lot.
Overall, a great week.
alligatorob
Respected Member
Rob, thanks for the thoughtful reply, and for the links. I learned some things, and was a bit surprised. You are better educated on this than I. I have mostly my own experiences and observations. I was particularly surprised to read about the many emotional issues some people have when losing weight. The thing about women being happier when they gain weight than lose puzzles me, it did not say if the same applies to men, but it probably does.
Thanks, I appreciate your post. It made me think, a lot.
No, I really do not believe that I do. There have been times in my life when I dieted, usually for a short period, and the diet ended in some anger and eating. I guess I have always thought of it as frustration with having to ignore my cravings and slow weight loss, but maybe that's close to what you are talking about. This time when I started I prepared myself mentally for a kind of withdrawal period, I decided I was going to eat well no matter what my body wanted, and it was a struggle for a while to stick to it. But then withing a few weeks things kind of changed and I got happier with what I was doing. I don't recall any anger, and I have none now, not with respect to eating. Not being able to do something I think I should be able to do has always angered me, like not being able to easily tie my shoes, or walk much distance. Many of those things have gotten better, and so if anything I am less often angry.
I don't believe I suffer from classical depression. I do sometimes feel down, usually I can figure out why, and sometimes I can fix it, I do if I can. I did once seek help, it was after a very painful breakup, the counselor told me that the feelings of depression I was having were normal considering what happened, and he said he saw no signs of clinical depression. I have thought about it since, and believe he was right. I know I am quite lucky in this respect, a lot of people suffer from real depression. However since LaMa's Black Dog thing I have been considering the parallels between my eating compulsion and depression. I am beginning to think they are similar things, just with different symptoms. But again I have no expertise on this, I am just rambling.
Maybe, I know I do better with consistency. The support mechanism is for sure, and its no secret. I know I would not be here without it, and the forum folks, you included, have been a big part of that for me. One thing I do know is this ain't my first rodeo, I have dieted and lost weight before, always with a disastrous end. I struggle with trying to find a way to avoid that this time around, and am looking to people here, like you for advice and support on it.
You caught me on this, good call, my first response to questions like yours are "no". This line made me stop and think about it all a bit more. I guess I am and always have been a positive person, most of the time anyway. I always try to look at the better side of things, I am a believer in the "act as if" thing, if I act happy I become more happy. However it does sometimes result in not really addressing important issues.
Thanks, I appreciate your post. It made me think, a lot.
alligatorob
Respected Member
Hey Rob, you posted whist I was typing.
49 miles in a week as amazing, hard for me to imagine, you have to be in amazing shape. And I am happy to hear that your diet is great. great news!
I had one more thought on the depression thing. A really big reason for my cause driven depressions has been overeating and overweight. Many a time I felt quite low about it. Embarrassed, afraid to show myself, you know the symptoms. However I can say much of that has gone with the weight. I still do look in the mirror now and then and think my skin sag and continued overweight and feel a bit bad, but nothing like it used to be.
49 miles in a week as amazing, hard for me to imagine, you have to be in amazing shape. And I am happy to hear that your diet is great. great news!
I had one more thought on the depression thing. A really big reason for my cause driven depressions has been overeating and overweight. Many a time I felt quite low about it. Embarrassed, afraid to show myself, you know the symptoms. However I can say much of that has gone with the weight. I still do look in the mirror now and then and think my skin sag and continued overweight and feel a bit bad, but nothing like it used to be.
I went down yesterday. I had absolutely no energy and I ate too much. I binged. I probably ate the balance for the week. I didn't feel a thing this morning though and I slept like a log.
I started a new position today and I went running this evening. Both went really well. The work will be a different pattern for me and different with different interactions and different energy and so I will try to take advantage of this change to just step up my behavior change and my fitness. The run went really well. I made it 10 miles today and I probably could have gone another 5 at least. Weather was cold and it was invigorating.
Rob, I'm going to respond to your very nice reply soon. I've got life stuff going on right now. Hope you and anyone reading is doing. Cate, I heard about a bump in cases in Tasmania on the news. Hope things are OK there for you right now. LaMa, when Rob mentioned the Black Dog analogy, I checked it out. It's a great one. Their description of the symptoms like losing memory and concentration are accurate. I read some of your posts too. I hope you've gotten out and about since and are feeling better. I think you were last I read. I liked that you mentioned the other concepts - missing stair, spoon theory, the others. I get it all. I've personally been through a lot of it. Good things to talk about to help one another. Good night.
I started a new position today and I went running this evening. Both went really well. The work will be a different pattern for me and different with different interactions and different energy and so I will try to take advantage of this change to just step up my behavior change and my fitness. The run went really well. I made it 10 miles today and I probably could have gone another 5 at least. Weather was cold and it was invigorating.
Rob, I'm going to respond to your very nice reply soon. I've got life stuff going on right now. Hope you and anyone reading is doing. Cate, I heard about a bump in cases in Tasmania on the news. Hope things are OK there for you right now. LaMa, when Rob mentioned the Black Dog analogy, I checked it out. It's a great one. Their description of the symptoms like losing memory and concentration are accurate. I read some of your posts too. I hope you've gotten out and about since and are feeling better. I think you were last I read. I liked that you mentioned the other concepts - missing stair, spoon theory, the others. I get it all. I've personally been through a lot of it. Good things to talk about to help one another. Good night.
alligatorob
Respected Member
Hey Rob, tomorrow is another day, forget today and move on. If you can do that you will be fine. I think you know that better than I. Reply to my post when and if the feeling is right, no obligation there. I agree I am still thinking about the Black Dog story, I think we all have some kind of Black Dog to deal with.
Hey Rob, I'm doing fine. Doing well in fact after a great first day and run yesterday. Binge day before was certainly to be expected with 50 miles for the week, with a run on every day. It didn't even phase me as I was explaining. Did not mean to give you a different impression. You're still very focused on no bingeing and the numbers I think. That thinking can take over, Rob.
Rob, I think what I’m responding to is what I perceive to be rigid or inflexible thinking. I haven't quite known how to present it or communicate it but it's harmful to me. Like, I can't do the no binge, success/fail, one day at a time thing. It's not what I'm aiming for and fundamentally goes against who I am. Great if I never “binge” again but there are so many variables and one thing I realize is that no one on here can relate to the level of running I'm doing. I realize something like that works for a lot of people and I don't judge or have a problem with that except when what I'm doing is viewed through that lens. It's gonna be ok if I binge, it's getting better and I'll eventually figure it out. I have to let myself. I'm still healing from years of trauma.
Today I was wiped out. Sunday probably wasn't enough rest after last week and I didn't notice because I started the new position yesterday. Had to take a nap in the middle of the day and I could feel my body trying to recover. I might need another day. I know I'll come back stronger.
Food was good, I didn't count calories but ate lots of nourishing meals and snacks. No running today.
Food was good, I didn't count calories but ate lots of nourishing meals and snacks. No running today.
What was the struggle you had to stick with your plan during the initial withdrawal period? Was it just the cravings? Why else is weight loss hard for you mentally other than the cravings?
Sounds like you have similar experiences/feelings but maybe you have different, more positive, associations with them compared to most people. Maybe you're a little more resilient and you intuitively know what to do to take care of yourself like getting support from others here. Speaking of which, the support here is surely not just helping you manage the cravings. Would something like depression be more likely to develop in the absence of the support? Would it even get to that point before you started eating more again? I don't think there's a difference between classical depression and depression btw. Depression is just depression with varying degrees of severity.
Do you mean the new job or just the general isolation? It´s been colder here as well and during the day - when the sun´s out and the temperature is nicer - there are too many people about to go outside.
alligatorob
Respected Member
Hey Rob, I wasn't ignoring you, just wanted to think about your response for a while.
First as to your situation, you are right I don't have much understanding of where you are coming from, only what I have learned from your posts. I know it is different from my own experience, we are all different of course, but the root cause of your problem sounds different from mine. I think I can still learn from your experiences and insights, you do a really good and honest job of talking about them. It is hard for me to relate to the level of running you do, a part of me is envious, I wish I could run even a fraction of what you do.
What I do know is that you have succeeded in losing a lot of weight, and keeping most of it off. That is quite an impressive feat and admirable. And you have done it at a much younger age than I. I have never been successful in keeping weight off. I look to your wisdom to help me.
First as to your situation, you are right I don't have much understanding of where you are coming from, only what I have learned from your posts. I know it is different from my own experience, we are all different of course, but the root cause of your problem sounds different from mine. I think I can still learn from your experiences and insights, you do a really good and honest job of talking about them. It is hard for me to relate to the level of running you do, a part of me is envious, I wish I could run even a fraction of what you do.
What I do know is that you have succeeded in losing a lot of weight, and keeping most of it off. That is quite an impressive feat and admirable. And you have done it at a much younger age than I. I have never been successful in keeping weight off. I look to your wisdom to help me.
Mostly I think, it was the cravings. My body and mind had many years of being used to having the cravings fulfilled, stopping was a shock to my system, like I said a kind of withdrawal.
Probably the same as most folks, a lot of it comes down to not being able to eat what and when I want. That has gotten better with time, but not gone away. Lately I struggle a bit with the "new" me and trying to figure out exactly who that is, but it seems a minor problem compared to the weight and eating of the past.
Actually it does in a number of ways. Reading about what others do to deal with the cravings has been quite helpful. And sometimes I have followed Amy's advice to write not bite, posting when cravings hit can be a help. Finally the kind of social feeling helps, posting my food everyday makes me think about what folks here might think if I gave into my cravings, maybe a kind of peer pressure. So I do think the support I have found here helps with dealing with cravings.
Sure, support helps me feel better and stay on track, both things that keep depression away. And without support I think I would be more likely to return to bad eating.
You could be right, this is not my area of expertise. Maybe I am just luckier than some that I don't feel depressed very often, less often now that I am on a good diet and have lost weight. How about you, do you feel better and better about yourself after your weight loss?
Oh my, I had a tough week mentally. There has been a lot to learn and navigate with this new opportunity. It caught up with me yesterday and I slept for about 13 hours. I binged 3 times this past week. I think I was feeling depleted too from the previous week of running. I feel so much better this morning and my sleep quality according to my Fitbit was better than it's been in awhile. The change is always difficult to navigate mentally and it's hard to know the impact of it on me when it's happening but I certainly feel the effects later.
The last time I went running was on Monday. My back is bothering me a little bit and that's also due to increased sitting. I ordered a standing desk and it's on the way. I have the notion this morning that I should do a bit of a reset with my fitness, focusing more on the functional exercises and doing some resistance training with the bands I have and add in running as I go along. I'd like to get rid of the gym membership I have but I think I will always need it for access to a treadmill. I don't want to be running in direct sunlight if I can avoid it. In general, it's convenient when the weather acts up and it's also good to be around other athletic people and expose myself to more fitness ideas and have the ability to try out new exercises I can only do at the gym.
My weight has not changed. It seems no matter how hard I go after it with the running, I will be compelled to eat more. I don't even need to track my calories to know what's going on. When I binge, it's like my body is after a particular amount of calories and it will only let after I eat the balance of any cumulative calorie deficits that have built up. I think not having enough mental bandwidth plays into it and it becomes too difficult to sustain a deficit, at least not the size that I've been going for lately. I think there are two main factors that I could focus on to be more successful: focus a lot more on the mental, making sure I'm adequately rested and have enough down time, and/or sustain a lower deficit, like ~500 or so.
The last time I went running was on Monday. My back is bothering me a little bit and that's also due to increased sitting. I ordered a standing desk and it's on the way. I have the notion this morning that I should do a bit of a reset with my fitness, focusing more on the functional exercises and doing some resistance training with the bands I have and add in running as I go along. I'd like to get rid of the gym membership I have but I think I will always need it for access to a treadmill. I don't want to be running in direct sunlight if I can avoid it. In general, it's convenient when the weather acts up and it's also good to be around other athletic people and expose myself to more fitness ideas and have the ability to try out new exercises I can only do at the gym.
My weight has not changed. It seems no matter how hard I go after it with the running, I will be compelled to eat more. I don't even need to track my calories to know what's going on. When I binge, it's like my body is after a particular amount of calories and it will only let after I eat the balance of any cumulative calorie deficits that have built up. I think not having enough mental bandwidth plays into it and it becomes too difficult to sustain a deficit, at least not the size that I've been going for lately. I think there are two main factors that I could focus on to be more successful: focus a lot more on the mental, making sure I'm adequately rested and have enough down time, and/or sustain a lower deficit, like ~500 or so.
I get this sense too, Rob. You are very skilled talking with others here and you have a rich lifetime of experience you can share. I am a bit envious of your abilities.
Yes, I feel a great sense of accomplishment and that motivates me to accomplish more. The actual process is very difficult though and those feelings are there at the same time. I think I shared quite a bit of the mental pain and anguish I experienced last time I was losing weight, on my previous thread. The glow wore off when I leveled out and started gaining but it can come back and I feel it when I run. There is a different challenge altogether though of finding more rewarding activities and interactions that can help sustain a healthier weight. I'm hopeful this new opportunity will help in that regard. It seems like you are putting into place great activities right now, Rob, that will help sustain a lower weight. I'm really impressed with what you're doing.
alligatorob
Respected Member
Thanks for your reply and nice words Rob. Kind of funny I have always been a bit envious of your eloquence and knowledge. I guess we all see things in others we appreciate.
That really worries me as well, I get a lot of positive reinforcement from losing weight and being able to do new things. I worry about how I can sustain things in maintenance. As I say I think I have a lot to learn from you and the others here who are in maintenance.