Road to Bulimia / BED recovery.

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Good for you, for seeing clearly the traps of purging, and for stepping away from them! :hurray:
I'm sorry for the shock of the Close Encounter with the leatherish skirt, but here's hoping you can turn it to good account, for motivation. If I were you, I wouldn't be too quick to give it away - it sounds like it could be a good real-life measure of how well you're doing - when it zips up beautifully, and you look great in it, then you'll really know how far you've come! Real-life measures beat numbers on a scale any day!
 
Oh there's something I forgot to mention (I b/p'd on KFC yesterday btw... woops)

But my dad came over last Friday, we cook dinner together at my place quite often. When we go grocery shopping together my dad often wants to treat me to something nice like cake or candy, whatsoever. He grabbed a HUUUGE bag (like 1kg) of chocolate covered 'pepernoten' (like tiny bite sized spiced biscuits) and I told him he didn't have to buy those. He was quite persistent (he just wanted to be nice) and told me I should eat only a serving size at a time. I told dad that it's literally the problem with BED. I felt really bad for him when he had to put the bag back, he doesn't mean any harm at all. So I let him buy me bananas and tangerines instead.

This morning I weighed in at 75,8kg (yay, back into semi-okay territory). I'm currently on my way to school and I often tend to spend approx. €4 on coffee and a sandwich. Today I decided to throw some oven rolls in the airfryer (I dont have an oven lol) and make some instant coffee for on the go. I think I'll be home around 3:00pm (it's 9:52 am atm) and this is what I've taken to school with me: My small thermomug with coffee, 2 bread rolls each with half a slice of cheese, 2 bananas and a tangerine. Seems like that would make great meals until dinner.

And another thing, because I need some extra money to buy Christmas gifts with I'm going to participate in research for a medical university not too far from where I go to school. It's a research on binge eating, and I thought it'd be perfect for me. I'm going there tomorrow and answer a lot of questions, and on wednesday I'm gonna get an MRI scan done. After that I'm gonna have to come back one more time for a few more questions. It pays €120, it could potentially help me and I can go there right after school. I'm interested to see how that's gonna go.
 
next time you get together with your dad, set aside 22 minutes and see if this doesn't open up his eyes a bit.

Sugar -- the elephant in the kitchen

he starts off with some metaphorical rhetoric that might suggest to some a political view, but he shortly ties this to and remains on the main topic.
 
overlandflyer said:
set aside 22 minutes and see ... this
Click to expand...
Okay, I just watched the video, and I have a question!
In listing the umpteen names for sugar, the speaker includes fructose. Which sure, I get that being a name used by manufacturers to just add sugar (and sugar, and sugar) to their tomato sauce or whatever - but it's also the name of what's found naturally in oranges, apples and bananas. If I wanted to try going sugar-free for (say) a month to see how it affected me, would that mean I would have to cut out fruit?
 
Thanks for the tip , overlandflyer! I havent had the time yet but I'll check it out tonight!

Yesterday was quite... Emotional? First of all, I fell asleep from 20:00-23:00 the night before, but I still needed to shower and do homework. So I hadn't slept from 23:00 on the 25th until 2:00 on the 27th.

After school yesterday I went to Maastricht University to participate in a research on binge eating. It was quite strange, first I had to answer a lot of questions but afterwards I had to do a memory 'game'. I had to pick my 3 favorite chocolates and crisps from a list of 7 each, which were connected to a pattern. I would see a pattern and have to press left or right. It'd open a box which either had one of the foods or it didn't. I had to find out which pattern was connected to which chocolate / crisp and remember per pattern I had to press left or right. Sometimes the right box would be empty on purpose, though I had it right. If I did well enough per round Id get a few crisps and a piece of chocolate. After 4 rounds I had 16 bugles and 1 1/3rd of a twix.

Today is gonna be the second part of the research, including an MRI scan. I really wonder what my brain looks like lmao.

But what happened after I left yesterday is what made me emotional (Im not often emotional at all): Mom sent me a text saying she had sent both me and my brother for both St Nicholas and Christmas. I checked my bank account and she had sent us no less than €1000 each!! I was so shocked she would do that, as she's also taking us to Disneyland Paris on Dec 26th. I decided to use around €300 to spend on a new gothic wardrobe (and some christmas gifts too). I ordered them in the size I want them to fit, so if they don't fit it'll motivate me to lose weight. Most things I ordered in size M, nothing in size S. Most stuff comes from China so the M will probably fit like an S.

Currently waiting for the dude to pick me up for the second part of the research ~ wish me luck!

(Oh and I weighed 75,5 this morning)
 
I noticed my typing skills dropped several floors, I meant to say mom had sent both me and my brother a gift. :')
 
aiminglow said:
..., the speaker includes fructose. Which sure, I get that being a name used by manufacturers to just add sugar (and sugar, and sugar) to their tomato sauce or whatever - but it's also the name of what's found naturally in oranges, apples and bananas. If I wanted to try going sugar-free for (say) a month to see how it affected me, would that mean I would have to cut out fruit?
Click to expand...

i talked this over with my doctor yesterday and he seemed to agree with me that "fruits & vegetables" should be "fruits & VEGETABLES, VEGETABLES, VEGETABLES". i would put my diet balance in the ballpark of 15% fruit, 85% vegetables. i also tend to favor fruits with the greatest skin to pulp ratio... berries & the smallest varieties of apples, pears, etc (usually the least expensive, too!). if you skin an apple, you are throwing away all the nutrition and downing all the sugar. the natural sugars you get from some vegetables and most fruit isn't without value, though. eating whole fruit will yield a good portion of micro-nutrients and fiber. two thing i gave up for good were milk (in a glass) ... lactose, and all fruit juices ... fructose. nothing (much) other than pure sugar. 12 oz of OJ excludes the fiber of 4-5 oranges.

i try to keep my sugar intake to 10g/day. frankly, most days it's probably closer to 20g. a small apple is well over 10g of sugar. recommended is less than 35g. anything less will be a positive step. before i became aware, many days i would exceed 35g during breakfast.
 
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ran out of editing time, but i thought about juicers... the type that can grind up an entire piece of fruit, etc. i'm really unaware of the ups or downsides of those, but i've got to think it's better than off-the-shelf juices from concentrate. maybe handier for people on the go. i don't need another thing to wash.
 
God, I'm so fucking frustrated at the moment. I woke up with an empty stomach and therefore decided to weigh myself; 76,1kg. Why is that when I have a pizza once my body immediately decides it's going to gain weight? I feel like I need to live on nothing if I want to lose weight, if I eat approx. 1000 calories a day I might go from 76,1 to 75,8. Keeping this unhealthy habit up for a few days I might get to 75. But then one pizza and BAM I'm back at where I started. Why can't I ever treat myself to something nice or try to have more than 1000 calories??? Fuckin' sick of it.
 
Hey Syd, check in and let us know how you are doing. Its been a little while.
 
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