Proof men don't listen to women



i like that google thingy :cool:

hmmmm so yeah shes ok/girl next dr type...but hardly in evas league...



chef...you must be very easily pleased if she does it for you...you & your futon LOL
 
ChefChiTown said:
Umm, the first American Idol winner, the woman of my dreams? HELLOOOOOO?!?!?!?!



I saw that movie. I must've not been paying attention. Eh, anyway...Eva Mendes is ok I guess, but she's not my cup of tea. In fact, I don't even like tea, so I don't know why I used that expression. I should've said, "She's not my cup of chocolate milk", because I LOVE chocolate milk. That makes me like a little boy, doesn't it? I mean, I have the penis of a little boy, so I guess it all kind of works out, huh?
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i'm from the UK...& i don't even watch the pop idol/reality TV stuff here either. if i watch TV its movies/greys anatomy/lispstick jungle/csi...but not the new york one thats soooo too try hard...now cuddly grissom or the sweet carrot topped horatio??? hmmmm now we're talkin.......

think simon cowell is a major tosser....fasten your shirt FGS!! no one wants to see your hairy chest poking out with medallions???? ickickick. anyway if i want to listen to music...i listen to real music...in fact i listen to music all the time but i just don't get pop idol type shows...or is the tacky aspect the draw?? like its soooo cheesy its good?? maybe...i don't really know...........

anyway chef...from one sexually frustrated person to another...you do realise you mention your penis size a lot...you poor poor little dear :D tell y'what shall i see if i can throw in the size of my nipples into every one of my posts today...oh so very nonchalontly...would anyone even notice????!! may be not hahaha

anyway...no i wouldn't...i'm a good girl really!! :Angel_anim: though i have a vague memory of mentioning my past madame/escort exploits on here somewhere last night...my halos slip slip slipping awaaaaaaaaay....:newangel:
 
one more thing...to you pervy pair...

with all our/my talk of evas nipples/watching that clip from 'we own the night' & not forgetting chefs earlier mention on the joke thread of being in deep/hard...something to do with baseball players from what i can remember ahhhhhhhh...

i didn't feel remotely sexually frustrated when i finally fell asleep...in fact i felt very relaxed...if a little flushed.............can't think why......;)


edit...
OMG!! i'm such a trollop LOL...i've just re-read that joke of yours...you only said 'into home really hard'...i added the deep & 'being in' myself??! now who's the perv???? at first i got soooo carried away i put slow too but then i thought as it was about baseball players you couldn't have said that...
 
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baglady2713 said:
with all our/my talk of evas nipples/watching that clip from 'we own the night' & not forgetting chefs earlier mention on the joke thread of being in deep/hard...something to do with baseball players from what i can remember ahhhhhhhh...

i didn't feel remotely sexually frustrated when i finally fell asleep...in fact i felt very relaxed...if a little flushed.............can't think why......;)


edit...
OMG!! i'm such a trollop LOL...i've just re-read that joke of yours...you only said 'into home really hard'...i added the deep & 'being in' myself??! now who's the perv???? at first i got soooo carried away i put slow too but then i thought as it was about baseball players you couldn't have said that...
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I crave nipples and breasts.
 
baglady2713 said:
anyway chef...from one sexually frustrated person to another...you do realise you mention your penis size a lot...you poor poor little dear :D tell y'what shall i see if i can throw in the size of my nipples into every one of my posts today...oh so very nonchalontly...would anyone even notice????!! may be not hahaha
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Well, honesty is the best policy. I have a small, unsatisfyingly sized penis and there is nothing I can do to change it. I embrace my tiny weiner. Even though it makes me cry when I think about how dinky it is, I've gotten somewhat used to it. Sure, I wish it was bigger...much, much bigger...but it's my penis and I guess I have to like it just the way it is.
 
edco76 said:
I see your Eva Mendes nip slip and I raise you one Eva Mendes full frontal.

(I don't wanna get banned but it was in training day. Google)
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really?? eva naked??? ooooooh i may just have a little peep to see if it does anything for me....but i don't think i actually want to get in her knickers...no really i don't...honest.........

i just think shes gorgeous plus i want her wardobe...or rather her clothes that are in it LOL. as its not only our nipples we have in common...we share the same taste in clothes aswell...we have some of the same exact bags too...see i'm sure its just a girl crush. i think she'd just be cool to hang out with...do slightly tipsy girlie lunches/go shopping together/try each others clothes on...undress each other...get in bed together...lie close to each other...our bodies entwined...stroke each other & pour hot candle wax & massage oil all over each others body...at what point d'you think i started fucking with you?????????? :newangel:


i bet you'd listen if a woman recounted the above to you in person though wouldn't you?? yeah thought so........bit of saucy talk gets a mans attention everytime...you men...you're all so bleedin easy y'know!!! :)
 
familyweese said:
Well as long as were all being so honest. Don't feel bad Chef the best sex I ever had was with a guy who had no more than 3 maybe 4 inches. It was all about what he did with it. I'm so glad my husband doesn't read this forum lol.
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The best sex I'VE ever had was with...

SIGH

...myself. Damnit.
 
familyweese said:
Well as long as were all being so honest. Don't feel bad Chef the best sex I ever had was with a guy who had no more than 3 maybe 4 inches. It was all about what he did with it. I'm so glad my husband doesn't read this forum lol.
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if i know men i think he'd be more pleased you said the other guy had a smaller penis than him...than that he was the best sex you've ever had...

i know what you mean though...i once had sex (or rather we tried to...) with a guy who was...well huge!!!!!!! eye poppingly scary huge...:eek2: i just couldn't/wouldn't...a womans vagina is only about 4/5 inches long anyway FFS!! i really don't think he had sex very often...just a waste nothing you could do with it really...blowjobs?????? :eek: i don't think so!!! you'd bleedin choke!!! he was a very tall, big guy so he didn't look like circus freak out of proportion or anything...but still oooooh never ever again...when i saw samantha go through same thing on SATC i couldn't believe it LOL & yes like her i had to do some preparations first...:sifone::sifone: which made me relaxed but very very giggly...which probably didn't help the situation!!! :smilielol5:
 
familyweese said:
LOL not to side track this conversation to much but my 2 year old just saw your avitar and got scared. I know I shouldn't laugh at that but I find it funny Chef that you scare little kids even over the internet.
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Whaaaaat?!?!?!?! What's so scary about a terrifying looking Jack-O-Lantern with glowing eyes and a creepy "I'm-going-to-kill-you" looking smile? Pfft, what a wussy.

FYI - I was born on Halloween, in case anybody wonders why that's my avatar. Also, I somewhat resemble a Jack-O-Lantern. Plus, I enjoy scaring little children, so it all kinda works out.
 
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familyweese said:
He said it was a scary guy. I love when my kids talk because I usually get a good laugh. I wish I could see the world for just one day through the eyes of my 2 year old.
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I'm going to feel reeeeeally bad if he has nightmares. But, if he does, at least I'll be able to say that I made a difference in somebody else's life. A very negative difference, but a difference none-the-less.
 
familyweese said:
Naw probably no nightmares as he thinks that the transformers on my other sons blanket are scary guys too. He sleeps in the same room as the other scary guys so I'm sure all will be well. Just in case whats your address so I'll know where to send the therapy bills LOL JK.
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Uhh...I'm...homeless?

Why can't I have cool shit on my bedding, like Transformers? Or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Or a half naked gi...umm, I mean G.I. Joes.
 
ChefChiTown said:
Uhh...I'm...homeless?

Why can't I have cool shit on my bedding, like Transformers? Or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Or a half naked gi...umm, I mean G.I. Joes.
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WOW how do you get internet in your box? My dad has half naked gi... um G.I. Joes on a blanket he has lol.
 
Gator said:
Well...since you're propositioning me... :Angel_anim:
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hahaha...

no not a proposition...an exchange...you said you craved breasts & nipples...& until all this talk of eva mendes...i was craving something a little (sorry chef...) phallic shaped...so a swop would have been pretty cool but not only am i talking complete & utter nonsense...since viewing the training day clip think eva may have turned me after all :D
 
baglady2713 said:
i was craving something a little (sorry chef...) phallic shaped...
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No apology needed. I have a small penis. We all know I have a small penis. Even my penis knows it's small. That's why it crys so much. At least, I THINK those are tears coming out of it...
 
ChefChiTown said:
No apology needed. I have a small penis. We all know I have a small penis. Even my penis knows it's small. That's why it crys so much. At least, I THINK those are tears coming out of it...
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Wow I've never seen a crying wanger before. I don't know that might scare some women away.:cheers2:
 
familyweese said:
Wow I've never seen a crying wanger before. I don't know that might scare some women away.:cheers2:
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Oh, don't worry...

I find other ways to scare them away before they even come CLOSE to seeing it.
 
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