Proof men don't listen to women

G

Gator1

New member
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!"

The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!"

They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road and dies.

If only men would listen.
 
funny? anyone? :dupe:
 
I don't listen to women. I just stare at their boobies and picture what it would be like if I could wear them as earmuffs.

*EDIT*

I just wanted to add that I also stare at their butts and picture what it would be like if I could bury my face inbetween their buttcheeks and wear their ass as an oxygen mask.

HAHAHAHAHA, what?
 
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yes its funny!! i've heard it before but the other way round with a man shouting 'fat cow' & the woman shouting back b*stard...its funnier your way.
 
ChefChiTown said:
I don't listen to women. I just stare at their boobies and picture what it would be like if I could wear them as earmuffs.

*EDIT*

I just wanted to add that I also stare at their butts and picture what it would be like if I could bury my face inbetween their buttcheeks and wear their ass as an oxygen mask.

HAHAHAHAHA, what?
Click to expand...


chef have you seen lars & the real girl?? its a slightly wierd but strangely sweet movie about a guy who buys a very lifelike GF from the internet...you could definitely wear her ass as an oxygen mask as he did lots of things with his...played dress up/bathed her/put her to bed/took her to parties...as you do :D
 
edco76 said:
I listen to them. So long as they only speak when spoken to.
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you wish.......:)

watched a movie with bogart the other night...working my way through a box set think it was called dead reckoning?? anyway......

bogarts character...a hardboiled type aren't they always?? talks about how he wishes women came in capsule form...so that you could carry them round in your pocket & only take them out when you wanted them for something hahaha

& says they (us ladies...) should only became fully formed when they were wanted in the bedroom basically....dream on bogie LOL...

at one point his ladyfriend gets a bit over emotional & he says 'get back in my pocket'...it really tickled me coming from bogart especially...i didn't know he did comedy/fantasy...

i honestly think men need women more...when men divorce women its usually b/c they've found someone else...women will start divorce proceedings when they're fed up of the marriage or just fallen out of love....they don't wait for their next r/ship to be in place beforehand to cushion the blow...i've had experience of divorce myself...as have a few of my friends but i know of it from the otherside too from male friends/brothers-in-laws...3 families worth of in laws in fact....

of course there all the jokes...vibrators don't mow the lawn/buy you a drink etc but then theres the one that goes...whats the useless piece of skin attached to a penis?? a man...personally i love that piece of skin though & i don't think you're that useless at all :D
 
baglady2713 said:
chef have you seen lars & the real girl?? its a slightly wierd but strangely sweet movie about a guy who buys a very lifelike GF from the internet...you could definitely wear her ass as an oxygen mask as he did lots of things with his...played dress up/bathed her/put her to bed/took her to parties...as you do :D
Click to expand...

...hmm? I'm sorry, what? I wasn't paying attention. I was too busy staring at your cleavage.
 
ChefChiTown said:
...hmm? I'm sorry, what? I wasn't paying attention. I was too busy staring at your cleavage.
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jesus??! what is it with men & breasts...seriously what??! we get to look at them everyday so no biggie...though it was a little weird once when i watched 'we own the night' ...& i saw eva mendes topless...we have the exact same nipples!! score!! LOL
 
edco76 said:
I am convinced that only 2 things keep all women from being lesbians.

Spiders
Top shelves
Click to expand...

You forgot #3...

Dating me.

Both serious girlfriends that I've had, ended up being closet lesbians. Yup.

baglady2713 said:
jesus??! what is it with men & breasts...seriously what??! we get to look at them everyday so no biggie...though it was a little weird once when i watched 'we own the night' ...& i saw eva mendes topless...we have the exact same nipples!! score!! LOL
Click to expand...

You saw Eva Mendes topless? Where was this? Not that I care...she's not that good looking anyway. Over-rated, in my opinion. I prefer Kelly Clarkson. Yeaaaaah, Kelly Clarkson. I want her to wear some red sweatpants and a green t-shirt and sit next to me on my futon. That way, not only will I be sitting next to Kelly Clarkson, but she'll make me feel "Christmasy".
 
edco76 said:
I am convinced that only 2 things keep all women from being lesbians.

Spiders
Top shelves
Click to expand...



hmmmm the lesbian thing...again it comes back to eva mendes...now shes sexy!! i've never been with a woman & i only ever fancy men...but i'll admit to a little bit of a girl crush on eva...oh yeah......... ;)


btw spiders i can handle...with me its little furry or feathery animals :eek:

plus each to their own...but doubt i could ever be a lesbian as i love to feel all cuddled up & safe in a mans arms...& i like to feel the weight of a man on top of me.....hmmmmmm.....thats why i like the big bear type :beating:
 
baglady2713 said:
jesus??! what is it with men & breasts...seriously what??! we get to look at them everyday so no biggie...though it was a little weird once when i watched 'we own the night' ...& i saw eva mendes topless...we have the exact same nipples!! score!! LOL
Click to expand...

This. Would require proof.

Oh and breasts are awesome.
 
I see your Eva Mendes nip slip and I raise you one Eva Mendes full frontal.

(I don't wanna get banned but it was in training day. Google)
 
edco76 said:
This. Would require proof.

Oh and breasts are awesome.
Click to expand...



hahaha...ok let me just get my webcam................not LOL

well i do have a slight cleavage pic in my album...but believe me you'd see more at the beach...as for my nipples?? seriously me & eva nipple twins :)


its nearly 5am here...have to be up in 3hrs...luckily i've already been asleep but woke up to find my laptop still on...anyway.........night night....
 
baglady2713 said:
hahaha...ok let me just get my webcam................not LOL

well i do have a slight cleavage pic in my album...but believe me you'd see more at the beach...as for my nipples?? seriously me & eva nipple twins :)


its nearly 5am here...have to be up in 3hrs...luckily i've already been asleep but woke up to find my laptop still on...anyway.........night night....
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Damn. Scared away another one.
 
baglady2713 said:
whos kelly carkson???
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Umm, the first American Idol winner, the woman of my dreams? HELLOOOOOO?!?!?!?!

baglady2713 said:
very quick nipple shot just for you...;)

obviously i mean evas nipples...not mine.........LOL
Click to expand...

I saw that movie. I must've not been paying attention. Eh, anyway...Eva Mendes is ok I guess, but she's not my cup of tea. In fact, I don't even like tea, so I don't know why I used that expression. I should've said, "She's not my cup of chocolate milk", because I LOVE chocolate milk. That makes me like a little boy, doesn't it? I mean, I have the penis of a little boy, so I guess it all kind of works out, huh?
 
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