Motivational sayings and/or affirmations.
- Thread starter Cate
- Start date
Cate
Long term member
“We are so accustomed to the comforts of "I cannot", "I do not want to" and "it is too difficult" that we forget to realize when we stop doing things for ourselves and expect others to dance around us, we are not achieving greatness. We have made ourselves weak.”
~ Pandora Poikilos, " Excuse Me, My Brains Have Stepped Out"
“Love unconditionally, but rely only on yourself.”
~ Marty Rubin
LaurenMartin
New member
I may not be there yet, but i'm closer than i was yesterday
LaurenMartin
New member
Eat less sugar, you are sweet enough already.
LaurenMartin
New member
Nothing will work unless you do
LaurenMartin
New member
If you hate starting over, stop quitting.
Cate
Long term member
Say No To The Victim Mentality
How do you react if your day doesn't go the way you planned? At first you might feel pain, but after your initial feelings, do you think of yourself as a victim with little or no control or power? You might slip back into a headspace where you feel sorry for yourself and it feels like the whole world is against you. Many people get stuck in this mentality from time to time. Here are a few things that may help you move out of this mindset:
See the benefits of the victim mentality
The victim mentality is addictive and can be pretty beneficial in the short term and for instant gratification. A few benefits are:
Attention and validation - You can always get good feelings from other people as they are concerned about you and try to help you out
You don't have to take risks. When you feel like a victim you tend to not take action and so you don't have to risk rejection or failure
You don't have to take the heavy responsibility. Taking responsibility for your own life can be hard work, you have to make difficult decisions and it is just tough from time to time. In the short term it can feel like the easier choice to not take personal responsibility
It makes you feel like you are right. When you feel like the victim and like someone else is wrong and you are right then that can lead to pleasurable feelings
By being aware of the benefits you can derive from victim thinking, it becomes easier to say no and to choose to take a different path.
See the long term consequences of the victim mentality
How will it hold you back from achieving the goals you deep down dream about in life?
How will it affect your most important relationships?
How does it affect your relationship with yourself?
Be honest with yourself and get motivation to change by seeing how destructively this will affect your life over the next year or even 3 to 5 years from now.
Replace the victim mentality with something more helpful
Gratitude - It is healthy to recognise and accept the initial pain when something goes wrong in life and to not just paint a fake smile on your face. However, after that initial pain is gone you don't have to create more suffering for yourself. Instead, you can tap into gratitude and ask yourself: "Does someone in this world have it worse than me?" and then take a few minutes to think about the small and bigger things you have in my life that you can be grateful for.
Learning and taking action -
After tapping into a more grateful frame of mind, you will be more open to getting a good answer out of this next question: “What is one good thing about this situation?” or “What is one thing you can learn from this situation?” You can then follow it up with: “What is one small step you can take to move forward or out of this situation today?” By asking these question and taking some small steps forward over and over in these situations you will build confidence in yourself and while you cannot control everything in life you can build more and more power and influence over your own life and achieve your goals!
How do you react if your day doesn't go the way you planned? At first you might feel pain, but after your initial feelings, do you think of yourself as a victim with little or no control or power? You might slip back into a headspace where you feel sorry for yourself and it feels like the whole world is against you. Many people get stuck in this mentality from time to time. Here are a few things that may help you move out of this mindset:
See the benefits of the victim mentality
The victim mentality is addictive and can be pretty beneficial in the short term and for instant gratification. A few benefits are:
Attention and validation - You can always get good feelings from other people as they are concerned about you and try to help you out
You don't have to take risks. When you feel like a victim you tend to not take action and so you don't have to risk rejection or failure
You don't have to take the heavy responsibility. Taking responsibility for your own life can be hard work, you have to make difficult decisions and it is just tough from time to time. In the short term it can feel like the easier choice to not take personal responsibility
It makes you feel like you are right. When you feel like the victim and like someone else is wrong and you are right then that can lead to pleasurable feelings
By being aware of the benefits you can derive from victim thinking, it becomes easier to say no and to choose to take a different path.
See the long term consequences of the victim mentality
How will it hold you back from achieving the goals you deep down dream about in life?
How will it affect your most important relationships?
How does it affect your relationship with yourself?
Be honest with yourself and get motivation to change by seeing how destructively this will affect your life over the next year or even 3 to 5 years from now.
Replace the victim mentality with something more helpful
Gratitude - It is healthy to recognise and accept the initial pain when something goes wrong in life and to not just paint a fake smile on your face. However, after that initial pain is gone you don't have to create more suffering for yourself. Instead, you can tap into gratitude and ask yourself: "Does someone in this world have it worse than me?" and then take a few minutes to think about the small and bigger things you have in my life that you can be grateful for.
Learning and taking action -
After tapping into a more grateful frame of mind, you will be more open to getting a good answer out of this next question: “What is one good thing about this situation?” or “What is one thing you can learn from this situation?” You can then follow it up with: “What is one small step you can take to move forward or out of this situation today?” By asking these question and taking some small steps forward over and over in these situations you will build confidence in yourself and while you cannot control everything in life you can build more and more power and influence over your own life and achieve your goals!
Cate
Long term member
Buidling self-esteem
It is important to build self esteem because self esteem is one of the most important parts of the equation in losing weight. Self esteem means believing in yourself and your ability to not give up even during weight loss plateaus. or regaining weight.
If you need help losing weight, more self esteem can give you the power and courage to succeed. You love yourself enough to pick up where you left off after having a slip in your diet plan instead of throwing in the towel. You love your process and the person you are in the process; for this reason, you stick with it no matter what.
As you lose weight, some of that self esteem goes into how you look. You love how much weight you’ve lost, even if it’s only been ten pounds out of a total of a hundred you need to lose. You begin to love how clothes fit and even being able to buy new clothes because of your weight loss.
Self esteem, even when you don’t weigh what you want to weigh, is vital to your weight loss progression. That is why you need to work on how to develop rock solid self-esteem. Those with high self-esteem are much more likely to succeed than those who don’t. Once you increase your self-worth, you’ll be able to call upon it in times of need.
Self esteem is so important to your weight loss process that it is important to take the time to learn how you can change it to be more positive than it is today. It clearly isn’t an overnight proposition and it takes a great deal of effort on your part to achieve the kinds of changes you’ll want to have.
Tips to Build Self Esteem
Here are some ways to build self esteem for help losing weight:
The first thing you need to do is to listen to your inner voice and write down those things you say to yourself. Pay attention to phrases like, “I always have bad days.” “It’s my fault my partner left me.” “I’m not good at anything.” These are things we say to ourselves that create bad feelings within us and make us feel bad about who we are. If you write them down, you’ve committed them to memory and you can analyze exactly where they come from.
Take a hard look at the phrases you say to yourself and think back to times in your life when others, usually our parents or siblings, said these things to us. It is almost a guarantee that something similar was said to you at a time in your life when you didn’t have the ability to decide for yourself who you were or what you were capable of. Back then, you were a sponge, soaking up what people said and taking them in as part of yourself.
Knowing that these phrases were simply mean things said by people who didn’t know the impact they would have on you, change the phrases to say something like this: “I’m having a bad day today but I’m not a bad person.” “My relationship fell apart because he or she didn’t put enough into the relationship.” “I’m not good at this thing but I’m good at plenty of other things.”
Rephrasing these statements maintains your self esteem and doesn't automatically make you into a bad or inept person. Gradually change your inner voice so that you accept those things about yourself that you’d rather change but don’t generalize the statements to include the totality of you. Recognize that you are a good person with some faults, just like everyone else.
Think of what you do in life and project them outwards, pretending you’re looking at them from a distant perspective. You don’t generally generalize what others do or say and believe they are no good at anything if they make a mistake, do you?
Give yourself the same treatment and cut yourself some slack so that you recognize that, like others, you can make mistakes or fail to hold up to your own ideal at times but that ultimately, you are a good person. It’s only when you’re in your own body looking at yourself from within that you cut yourself down and fail to see the ordinary, fallible, but good person that you are.
Listen carefully to when someone says something good about you, even if it’s your boss who says, “Good job” when you do something right. Individuals with a low self esteem are quick to take in negative feedback but simply ignore or work around positive feedback.
Take the time and energy to dwell on positive feedback about yourself. Write down the positive feedback you get from others and recognize that they were meant for you for a reason. The negative feedback, if any, involves feedback on just a portion of who you are or could be the remnants of another person’s bad day and may have nothing to do with you.
Treat yourself as though you have a positive self esteem. Treat yourself to a facial or a massage. These are things that people with a positive self esteem do for themselves and it is okay for you to act “as if” you had a positive self esteem. Treating yourself well trains your mind and body to accept positive things and to embrace yourself with kindness. Being kind to your body is often something that those with a poor self esteem find foreign to them.
Even if it is foreign to you, try it anyway. Even getting your hair done can do much for your self esteem. At any of these activities, settle yourself into being pampered and treated the way you deserve to be treated. Eventually, you will come to expect to be treated well and your self esteem will be enhanced as a result.
Do something you’ve always wanted to do but thought you’d be bad at. It could be taking up photography classes, pottery classes, weight loss activities, running a 5k race or any similar activity. Put all your effort into doing your best at whatever you choose because, after all, a person with a positive self esteem tries hard and expects success.
Be patient with yourself because these things are likely to be new to you and give yourself some time to be good at it. This is another “as if” situation. Not only will you likely to meet other nice people but you will stand a good chance at succeeding at something you’ve always wanted to do. This will naturally raise your self esteem and you will no longer be longing to do something.
Pick two or three things you’ve always wanted to do and allow yourself to be successful at more than one thing. Remember these successes when you get stuck on a project at work and the old feelings of “I’m not good enough” begin to creep in.
Your self esteem, positive or negative, is the cloak you wear around yourself and belongs solely to you. You are the person it takes to change a negative self esteem into a positive one. It takes the willingness to take risks and careful listening to the world around you. Sometimes you have to pretend to have good self esteem. That’s okay. Eventually it will become real for you and your life will forever be changed.
Finding your own personal self esteem is a mission you must take on in order to be successful at losing weight, getting a good job, and being in healthy relationships. Taking on this mission isn’t easy but it truly is the only way to have the happy life you thought eluded you.
It is important to build self esteem because self esteem is one of the most important parts of the equation in losing weight. Self esteem means believing in yourself and your ability to not give up even during weight loss plateaus. or regaining weight.
If you need help losing weight, more self esteem can give you the power and courage to succeed. You love yourself enough to pick up where you left off after having a slip in your diet plan instead of throwing in the towel. You love your process and the person you are in the process; for this reason, you stick with it no matter what.
As you lose weight, some of that self esteem goes into how you look. You love how much weight you’ve lost, even if it’s only been ten pounds out of a total of a hundred you need to lose. You begin to love how clothes fit and even being able to buy new clothes because of your weight loss.
Self esteem, even when you don’t weigh what you want to weigh, is vital to your weight loss progression. That is why you need to work on how to develop rock solid self-esteem. Those with high self-esteem are much more likely to succeed than those who don’t. Once you increase your self-worth, you’ll be able to call upon it in times of need.
Self esteem is so important to your weight loss process that it is important to take the time to learn how you can change it to be more positive than it is today. It clearly isn’t an overnight proposition and it takes a great deal of effort on your part to achieve the kinds of changes you’ll want to have.
Tips to Build Self Esteem
Here are some ways to build self esteem for help losing weight:
The first thing you need to do is to listen to your inner voice and write down those things you say to yourself. Pay attention to phrases like, “I always have bad days.” “It’s my fault my partner left me.” “I’m not good at anything.” These are things we say to ourselves that create bad feelings within us and make us feel bad about who we are. If you write them down, you’ve committed them to memory and you can analyze exactly where they come from.
Take a hard look at the phrases you say to yourself and think back to times in your life when others, usually our parents or siblings, said these things to us. It is almost a guarantee that something similar was said to you at a time in your life when you didn’t have the ability to decide for yourself who you were or what you were capable of. Back then, you were a sponge, soaking up what people said and taking them in as part of yourself.
Knowing that these phrases were simply mean things said by people who didn’t know the impact they would have on you, change the phrases to say something like this: “I’m having a bad day today but I’m not a bad person.” “My relationship fell apart because he or she didn’t put enough into the relationship.” “I’m not good at this thing but I’m good at plenty of other things.”
Rephrasing these statements maintains your self esteem and doesn't automatically make you into a bad or inept person. Gradually change your inner voice so that you accept those things about yourself that you’d rather change but don’t generalize the statements to include the totality of you. Recognize that you are a good person with some faults, just like everyone else.
Think of what you do in life and project them outwards, pretending you’re looking at them from a distant perspective. You don’t generally generalize what others do or say and believe they are no good at anything if they make a mistake, do you?
Give yourself the same treatment and cut yourself some slack so that you recognize that, like others, you can make mistakes or fail to hold up to your own ideal at times but that ultimately, you are a good person. It’s only when you’re in your own body looking at yourself from within that you cut yourself down and fail to see the ordinary, fallible, but good person that you are.
Listen carefully to when someone says something good about you, even if it’s your boss who says, “Good job” when you do something right. Individuals with a low self esteem are quick to take in negative feedback but simply ignore or work around positive feedback.
Take the time and energy to dwell on positive feedback about yourself. Write down the positive feedback you get from others and recognize that they were meant for you for a reason. The negative feedback, if any, involves feedback on just a portion of who you are or could be the remnants of another person’s bad day and may have nothing to do with you.
Treat yourself as though you have a positive self esteem. Treat yourself to a facial or a massage. These are things that people with a positive self esteem do for themselves and it is okay for you to act “as if” you had a positive self esteem. Treating yourself well trains your mind and body to accept positive things and to embrace yourself with kindness. Being kind to your body is often something that those with a poor self esteem find foreign to them.
Even if it is foreign to you, try it anyway. Even getting your hair done can do much for your self esteem. At any of these activities, settle yourself into being pampered and treated the way you deserve to be treated. Eventually, you will come to expect to be treated well and your self esteem will be enhanced as a result.
Do something you’ve always wanted to do but thought you’d be bad at. It could be taking up photography classes, pottery classes, weight loss activities, running a 5k race or any similar activity. Put all your effort into doing your best at whatever you choose because, after all, a person with a positive self esteem tries hard and expects success.
Be patient with yourself because these things are likely to be new to you and give yourself some time to be good at it. This is another “as if” situation. Not only will you likely to meet other nice people but you will stand a good chance at succeeding at something you’ve always wanted to do. This will naturally raise your self esteem and you will no longer be longing to do something.
Pick two or three things you’ve always wanted to do and allow yourself to be successful at more than one thing. Remember these successes when you get stuck on a project at work and the old feelings of “I’m not good enough” begin to creep in.
Your self esteem, positive or negative, is the cloak you wear around yourself and belongs solely to you. You are the person it takes to change a negative self esteem into a positive one. It takes the willingness to take risks and careful listening to the world around you. Sometimes you have to pretend to have good self esteem. That’s okay. Eventually it will become real for you and your life will forever be changed.
Finding your own personal self esteem is a mission you must take on in order to be successful at losing weight, getting a good job, and being in healthy relationships. Taking on this mission isn’t easy but it truly is the only way to have the happy life you thought eluded you.
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One of my favs
One of my favs
