Motivational sayings and/or affirmations.
- Thread starter Cate
- Start date
Cate
Long term member
"How we perceive a situation and how we react to it is the basis of our stress.
If you focus on the negative in any situation, you can expect high stress levels.
However, if you try and see the good in the situation, your stress levels will greatly diminish."
~Catherine Pulsifer
Yes, there are times we all feel a little stressed, but it is how you allow yourself to react
which will measure your ability to overcome it.
If you can find something positive to learn in any situation, you will be able to control your state of well-being.
If you focus on the negative in any situation, you can expect high stress levels.
However, if you try and see the good in the situation, your stress levels will greatly diminish."
~Catherine Pulsifer
Yes, there are times we all feel a little stressed, but it is how you allow yourself to react
which will measure your ability to overcome it.
If you can find something positive to learn in any situation, you will be able to control your state of well-being.
Cate
Long term member
Cut out the body trash talk
Fat talk isn’t just about you — every time you put yourself down, even if you really, truly are thinking only about yourself, you are also adding to the toxic environment that your loved ones live in, too. Self-shaming behaviour implicitly shames others. What about not just cutting out the fat talk, but cutting out the body talk, like the admiration or criticism of models or "celebrities." When a friend bemoans how fat she looks in her skinny jeans, or how good you look in yours, just gently change the subject. Cutting out body talk isn't only good idea in theory, it actually works.
We, as women, have got to stop hating on our bodies. It's not something that can be accomplished instantly. We have consumed too many negative messages over too long a period of time to expect to undo the damage instantly. But this is serious, and it's not just vanity. This is a kind of oppression that we willingly engage in. Think of all the brain power over 50% of the population is wasting worrying that our thighs are too fleshy or our hips too wide...... That is brain power that could be applied to something magnificent, like writing the next great novel or studying animal populations. It's also energy we could use to improve our lives and the lives of others in smaller but equally significant ways on a daily basis.
Let's work on it. Let's just make a small start by canning the fat talk. Try it. I'm know I'm going to. Fat talk and body obsession is not helpful to anyone.
Fat talk isn’t just about you — every time you put yourself down, even if you really, truly are thinking only about yourself, you are also adding to the toxic environment that your loved ones live in, too. Self-shaming behaviour implicitly shames others. What about not just cutting out the fat talk, but cutting out the body talk, like the admiration or criticism of models or "celebrities." When a friend bemoans how fat she looks in her skinny jeans, or how good you look in yours, just gently change the subject. Cutting out body talk isn't only good idea in theory, it actually works.
We, as women, have got to stop hating on our bodies. It's not something that can be accomplished instantly. We have consumed too many negative messages over too long a period of time to expect to undo the damage instantly. But this is serious, and it's not just vanity. This is a kind of oppression that we willingly engage in. Think of all the brain power over 50% of the population is wasting worrying that our thighs are too fleshy or our hips too wide...... That is brain power that could be applied to something magnificent, like writing the next great novel or studying animal populations. It's also energy we could use to improve our lives and the lives of others in smaller but equally significant ways on a daily basis.
Let's work on it. Let's just make a small start by canning the fat talk. Try it. I'm know I'm going to. Fat talk and body obsession is not helpful to anyone.
Cate
Long term member
Decide that you're beautiful!
Since there is no empirical standard of beauty (it's in the eye of the beholder, remember?), behold yourself as a beauty. Great-looking people have an undeniable advantage. I find that the most sensible answer to this apparent inequity is to be a great-looking person. Your quirks and individuality can be part of your beauty, whether you're a no-make-up or a to-the-nines kind of a woman.
Decide that you're beautiful and care for yourself accordingly- by making the most of your assets, keeping yourself well-groomed, and tending to your soul by taking time for yourself and doing work you believe in & things that you really enjoy.
Smile a lot! When you do get lines they will be beautiful smile lines that point up, not down. Remind yourself that you're beautiful until you believe it. Once you do, other people will believe it, too. You will be beautiful. You are beautiful!
Since there is no empirical standard of beauty (it's in the eye of the beholder, remember?), behold yourself as a beauty. Great-looking people have an undeniable advantage. I find that the most sensible answer to this apparent inequity is to be a great-looking person. Your quirks and individuality can be part of your beauty, whether you're a no-make-up or a to-the-nines kind of a woman.
Decide that you're beautiful and care for yourself accordingly- by making the most of your assets, keeping yourself well-groomed, and tending to your soul by taking time for yourself and doing work you believe in & things that you really enjoy.
Smile a lot! When you do get lines they will be beautiful smile lines that point up, not down. Remind yourself that you're beautiful until you believe it. Once you do, other people will believe it, too. You will be beautiful. You are beautiful!
Cate
Long term member
Diet Saboteurs: Don’t let friends sabotage your weight loss plan.
Do these phrases sound familiar? ‘C’mon, just one little piece of cake (etc) won't hurt you.' or ‘I’m going to be insulted if you don’t try my lasagne (etc.)’ How many times have your dieting intentions been sabotaged by a family member or friend who makes you feel guilty for not eating a certain food? We’ve all been there, and for some, a seemingly perfect weight loss plan can go awry due to temptations from others. When you’re dieting, you need to surround yourself with people who are supportive and respective of your goals - don’t let others bring you down or stop you from achieving what you’ve set out to do.
Those who sabotage your dieting efforts may simply be struggling with their own weight loss issues; they may be jealous that you are succeeding. Many dieters face this problem. It’s selfish of another person to deter your efforts, but it happens all the time. Here are some ways to help you deal with the problem:
1. Recruit - try to make these people part of your support team. Invite them to support you and help you reach your goals. If they feel needed, they may be more likely to become part of your team.
2. Just say No - when offered food options that don’t fit into your weight loss plan, simply say ‘No thanks,’ and start talking about something else. No explanation is needed. You don’t need to start talking about the diet you’re currently following or feel guilty about not accepting. Be natural and assertive about your decision.
3. Be your own boss - remember that you control you. You have set a goal and you’re a dedicated person. Don’t let others convince you otherwise. These diet saboteurs can’t physically force feed you.
I know it can be hard to stay strong and stick to your weight loss plan, but remember that you have a goal in mind and you’re the only one who can reach it. A lot of dieters have chosen this phrase as a mantra, and it's one that helped me: " Nothing tastes as good as slim feels."
Do these phrases sound familiar? ‘C’mon, just one little piece of cake (etc) won't hurt you.' or ‘I’m going to be insulted if you don’t try my lasagne (etc.)’ How many times have your dieting intentions been sabotaged by a family member or friend who makes you feel guilty for not eating a certain food? We’ve all been there, and for some, a seemingly perfect weight loss plan can go awry due to temptations from others. When you’re dieting, you need to surround yourself with people who are supportive and respective of your goals - don’t let others bring you down or stop you from achieving what you’ve set out to do.
Those who sabotage your dieting efforts may simply be struggling with their own weight loss issues; they may be jealous that you are succeeding. Many dieters face this problem. It’s selfish of another person to deter your efforts, but it happens all the time. Here are some ways to help you deal with the problem:
1. Recruit - try to make these people part of your support team. Invite them to support you and help you reach your goals. If they feel needed, they may be more likely to become part of your team.
2. Just say No - when offered food options that don’t fit into your weight loss plan, simply say ‘No thanks,’ and start talking about something else. No explanation is needed. You don’t need to start talking about the diet you’re currently following or feel guilty about not accepting. Be natural and assertive about your decision.
3. Be your own boss - remember that you control you. You have set a goal and you’re a dedicated person. Don’t let others convince you otherwise. These diet saboteurs can’t physically force feed you.
I know it can be hard to stay strong and stick to your weight loss plan, but remember that you have a goal in mind and you’re the only one who can reach it. A lot of dieters have chosen this phrase as a mantra, and it's one that helped me: " Nothing tastes as good as slim feels."
Cate
Long term member
Wear the clothes that make you feel good
No matter how insufficient your wardrobe, we all have an outfit that makes us feel great. Not great in that "oh, aren't trackie dackies comfy?" way, but great like the best version of ourselves. It's an outfit that makes us feel chic and pulled-together. It's an outfit that makes us hold our heads high and be proud to be admired. Wear this outfit. Wear it everyday if you have to. Imagine the fashion police are standing with you and get rid of the clothes that are too-tight, too baggy or make you feel self-conscious. When your budget allows, invest in more items that make you feel terrific, clothes that show off your great cleavage, strong arms, broad shoulders, shapely calves, whatever you like best.
If you don't have at least one outfit that you feel that way in, especially as you are dropping weight on Cohen's, buy or borrow one. Look in op shops or markets, borrow from a friend but you need one outfit that you feel great in!
No matter how insufficient your wardrobe, we all have an outfit that makes us feel great. Not great in that "oh, aren't trackie dackies comfy?" way, but great like the best version of ourselves. It's an outfit that makes us feel chic and pulled-together. It's an outfit that makes us hold our heads high and be proud to be admired. Wear this outfit. Wear it everyday if you have to. Imagine the fashion police are standing with you and get rid of the clothes that are too-tight, too baggy or make you feel self-conscious. When your budget allows, invest in more items that make you feel terrific, clothes that show off your great cleavage, strong arms, broad shoulders, shapely calves, whatever you like best.
If you don't have at least one outfit that you feel that way in, especially as you are dropping weight on Cohen's, buy or borrow one. Look in op shops or markets, borrow from a friend but you need one outfit that you feel great in!
Cate
Long term member
"Making your mark on the world is hard.
If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it's not.
It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way.
The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won't.
It's whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction,
or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere."
~Barack Obama.
If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it's not.
It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way.
The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won't.
It's whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction,
or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere."
~Barack Obama.
Cate
Long term member
Losing weight can make a huge difference in your life by not only improving your confidence level, but by also providing a ton of additional health benefits.
Losing weight will help you:
* Increase your energy level
* Lower your LDL cholesterol level (bad cholesterol) and increase your HDL cholesterol (good cholesterol)
* Reduce your blood pressure
* Reduce aches and pains associated with extra weight
* Improve your breathing
* Improve your sleeping patterns
* Lower your risk of developing Type Two Diabetes
* Improve your confidence level
* Improve your sex life
* Elevate your mood
* Improve your blood sugar levels
* Prevent angina and chest pain caused by a decrease in oxygen to your heart
* Improve your mobility
* Alleviate strain on your bones and joints
* Alleviate stress on your heart
* Improve your blood circulation levels
* Increase your ability to be active
* Feel more confident in your appearance
Losing weight will help you:
* Increase your energy level
* Lower your LDL cholesterol level (bad cholesterol) and increase your HDL cholesterol (good cholesterol)
* Reduce your blood pressure
* Reduce aches and pains associated with extra weight
* Improve your breathing
* Improve your sleeping patterns
* Lower your risk of developing Type Two Diabetes
* Improve your confidence level
* Improve your sex life
* Elevate your mood
* Improve your blood sugar levels
* Prevent angina and chest pain caused by a decrease in oxygen to your heart
* Improve your mobility
* Alleviate strain on your bones and joints
* Alleviate stress on your heart
* Improve your blood circulation levels
* Increase your ability to be active
* Feel more confident in your appearance
Cate
Long term member
and hearing that makes it even more worthwhile 
xoxo
Some cognitive therapy today from the Mayo Clinic( a very helpful web-site)-
Self-esteem: Boost your self-image.
Cognitive behavioural therapy techniques can help you unlearn thought patterns that contribute to low self-esteem & to learn healthy substitutes.
Low self-esteem can negatively affect virtually every part of your life, including your relationships, your job and your health. But you can raise your self-esteem to a healthy level, even if you're an adult who's been harbouring a negative self-image since childhood.
Changing the way you think — about yourself and your life — is essential to boosting self-esteem. Cognitive behavioural therapy techniques are especially helpful in changing unhealthy thinking and behaviour patterns. These techniques are based on the idea that your feelings and behaviour result from how you think about yourself and your life. Cognitive behavioural techniques can help you recognise, challenge and ultimately replace negative thoughts or inaccurate beliefs with more positive, realistic ones.
Identify troubling conditions or situations.
Think about the conditions or situations that you find troubling and that seem to deflate your self-esteem, such as dreading a business presentation, frequently becoming angry or always expecting the worst. You may be struggling with a change in life circumstances, such as the death of a loved one, job loss or children leaving home, or a relationship with another person, such as a spouse, family member or co-worker.
Become aware of beliefs and thoughts.
Once you've identified troubling conditions or situations, pay attention to your thoughts related to them. This includes your self-talk — what you tell yourself — and your interpretation of what the situation means. Your thoughts and beliefs may be positive, negative or neutral. They may be rational — based on reason or facts — or irrational — based on false ideas.
Pinpoint negative or inaccurate thinking.
Notice when your thoughts turn toward the negative. Your beliefs and thoughts about a situation affect your reaction to it. Negative thoughts and beliefs about something or someone can trigger physical, emotional and behavioural responses, such as:
* Physical responses. These may include muscle tension, a sore back, racing heart, stomach problems, sweating or changes in sleeping patterns.
* Emotional responses. These may include difficulty concentrating, or feeling depressed, angry, sad, nervous, guilty or worried.
* Behavioural responses. These may include eating when not hungry, avoiding tasks, working more than usual, spending increased time alone, obsessing about a situation or blaming others for your problems.
Challenge negative or inaccurate thinking.
Your initial thoughts may not be the only possible way to view a situation. So test the accuracy of your thoughts. Ask yourself whether your view is consistent with facts and logic or whether there might be other explanations for the situation.
You may not easily recognise inaccuracies in your thinking, though. Most people have automatic, long-standing ways of thinking about their lives and themselves. These long-held thoughts and beliefs feel normal and factual to you, but many are actually just opinions or perceptions.
These kinds of thought patterns tend to erode self-esteem:
* All-or-nothing thinking. You see things as either all good or all bad. For example, "If I don't succeed in this task, I'm a total failure."
* Mental filtering. You see only negatives and dwell on them, distorting your view of a person or situation. For example, "I made a mistake on that report and now everyone will realise I'm not up to this job."
* Converting positives into negatives. You reject your achievements and other positive experiences by insisting that they don't count. For example, "I only did well on that test because it was so easy."
* Jumping to negative conclusions. You reach a negative conclusion when little or no evidence supports it. For example, "My friend hasn't replied to my e-mail, so I must have done something to make her angry."
* Mistaking feelings for facts. You confuse feelings or beliefs with facts. For example, "I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure." No matter how strong a feeling is, it isn't a fact.
* Self put-downs. You undervalue yourself, put yourself down or use self-deprecating humour. This can result from overreacting to a situation, such as making a mistake. For example, "I don't deserve anything better."
Change your thoughts and beliefs.
Once you've identified negative or inaccurate thinking you can replace it with accurate thoughts and beliefs. This can enable you to find constructive ways to cope, and give your self-esteem a boost.
It takes time and effort to learn how to recognise and replace distressing thoughts with accurate ones. Thoughts often occur spontaneously or automatically. They can they can be hard to control or turn off. Thoughts also can be very powerful and aren't always based on logic.
These strategies may help you:
* Use hopeful statements. Treat yourself with kindness and encouragement. Pessimism can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is, if you think your presentation isn't going to go well, you may indeed stumble through it. Try telling yourself things such as, "Even though it's tough, I can handle this situation."
* Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes aren't permanent reflections on you as a person. They are isolated moments in time. Tell yourself, "I made a mistake, but that doesn't make me a bad person."
* Avoid 'should' and 'must' statements. If you find that your thoughts are full of these words, you may be putting unreasonable demands on yourself — or on others. Removing these words from your self-talk can give you and others more realistic expectations.
* Focus on the positive. Think about the good parts of your life. Ask yourself, "What things have gone well recently?" "What skills do I have to help me cope with challenging situations?"
* Relabel upsetting thoughts. Having negative thoughts doesn't mean you must choose to react negatively. Instead, think of them as signals to use new, healthy thinking patterns. Ask yourself, "What can I think and do to make this less stressful?"
* Encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for making positive changes. Tell yourself, "I did a good job on the presentation. It may not have been perfect, but my colleagues said it was good."
Achieving healthy self-esteem.
With practice, these steps may come more easily to you. You'll be better able to recognise the thoughts and beliefs that are contributing to your low self-esteem. Because self-esteem can fluctuate over time, you may want to revisit these steps, especially if you begin to feel down on yourself again. Keeping a journal or daily log can help you track trouble spots over time.
Achieving a balanced, accurate view of yourself and accepting your value as a person can help you feel happier and more confident. And that may rub off on others too, including your children, family and friends.
xoxoSome cognitive therapy today from the Mayo Clinic( a very helpful web-site)-
Self-esteem: Boost your self-image.
Cognitive behavioural therapy techniques can help you unlearn thought patterns that contribute to low self-esteem & to learn healthy substitutes.
Low self-esteem can negatively affect virtually every part of your life, including your relationships, your job and your health. But you can raise your self-esteem to a healthy level, even if you're an adult who's been harbouring a negative self-image since childhood.
Changing the way you think — about yourself and your life — is essential to boosting self-esteem. Cognitive behavioural therapy techniques are especially helpful in changing unhealthy thinking and behaviour patterns. These techniques are based on the idea that your feelings and behaviour result from how you think about yourself and your life. Cognitive behavioural techniques can help you recognise, challenge and ultimately replace negative thoughts or inaccurate beliefs with more positive, realistic ones.
Identify troubling conditions or situations.
Think about the conditions or situations that you find troubling and that seem to deflate your self-esteem, such as dreading a business presentation, frequently becoming angry or always expecting the worst. You may be struggling with a change in life circumstances, such as the death of a loved one, job loss or children leaving home, or a relationship with another person, such as a spouse, family member or co-worker.
Become aware of beliefs and thoughts.
Once you've identified troubling conditions or situations, pay attention to your thoughts related to them. This includes your self-talk — what you tell yourself — and your interpretation of what the situation means. Your thoughts and beliefs may be positive, negative or neutral. They may be rational — based on reason or facts — or irrational — based on false ideas.
Pinpoint negative or inaccurate thinking.
Notice when your thoughts turn toward the negative. Your beliefs and thoughts about a situation affect your reaction to it. Negative thoughts and beliefs about something or someone can trigger physical, emotional and behavioural responses, such as:
* Physical responses. These may include muscle tension, a sore back, racing heart, stomach problems, sweating or changes in sleeping patterns.
* Emotional responses. These may include difficulty concentrating, or feeling depressed, angry, sad, nervous, guilty or worried.
* Behavioural responses. These may include eating when not hungry, avoiding tasks, working more than usual, spending increased time alone, obsessing about a situation or blaming others for your problems.
Challenge negative or inaccurate thinking.
Your initial thoughts may not be the only possible way to view a situation. So test the accuracy of your thoughts. Ask yourself whether your view is consistent with facts and logic or whether there might be other explanations for the situation.
You may not easily recognise inaccuracies in your thinking, though. Most people have automatic, long-standing ways of thinking about their lives and themselves. These long-held thoughts and beliefs feel normal and factual to you, but many are actually just opinions or perceptions.
These kinds of thought patterns tend to erode self-esteem:
* All-or-nothing thinking. You see things as either all good or all bad. For example, "If I don't succeed in this task, I'm a total failure."
* Mental filtering. You see only negatives and dwell on them, distorting your view of a person or situation. For example, "I made a mistake on that report and now everyone will realise I'm not up to this job."
* Converting positives into negatives. You reject your achievements and other positive experiences by insisting that they don't count. For example, "I only did well on that test because it was so easy."
* Jumping to negative conclusions. You reach a negative conclusion when little or no evidence supports it. For example, "My friend hasn't replied to my e-mail, so I must have done something to make her angry."
* Mistaking feelings for facts. You confuse feelings or beliefs with facts. For example, "I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure." No matter how strong a feeling is, it isn't a fact.
* Self put-downs. You undervalue yourself, put yourself down or use self-deprecating humour. This can result from overreacting to a situation, such as making a mistake. For example, "I don't deserve anything better."
Change your thoughts and beliefs.
Once you've identified negative or inaccurate thinking you can replace it with accurate thoughts and beliefs. This can enable you to find constructive ways to cope, and give your self-esteem a boost.
It takes time and effort to learn how to recognise and replace distressing thoughts with accurate ones. Thoughts often occur spontaneously or automatically. They can they can be hard to control or turn off. Thoughts also can be very powerful and aren't always based on logic.
These strategies may help you:
* Use hopeful statements. Treat yourself with kindness and encouragement. Pessimism can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is, if you think your presentation isn't going to go well, you may indeed stumble through it. Try telling yourself things such as, "Even though it's tough, I can handle this situation."
* Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes aren't permanent reflections on you as a person. They are isolated moments in time. Tell yourself, "I made a mistake, but that doesn't make me a bad person."
* Avoid 'should' and 'must' statements. If you find that your thoughts are full of these words, you may be putting unreasonable demands on yourself — or on others. Removing these words from your self-talk can give you and others more realistic expectations.
* Focus on the positive. Think about the good parts of your life. Ask yourself, "What things have gone well recently?" "What skills do I have to help me cope with challenging situations?"
* Relabel upsetting thoughts. Having negative thoughts doesn't mean you must choose to react negatively. Instead, think of them as signals to use new, healthy thinking patterns. Ask yourself, "What can I think and do to make this less stressful?"
* Encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for making positive changes. Tell yourself, "I did a good job on the presentation. It may not have been perfect, but my colleagues said it was good."
Achieving healthy self-esteem.
With practice, these steps may come more easily to you. You'll be better able to recognise the thoughts and beliefs that are contributing to your low self-esteem. Because self-esteem can fluctuate over time, you may want to revisit these steps, especially if you begin to feel down on yourself again. Keeping a journal or daily log can help you track trouble spots over time.
Achieving a balanced, accurate view of yourself and accepting your value as a person can help you feel happier and more confident. And that may rub off on others too, including your children, family and friends.
Cate
Long term member
Benefits of healthy self-esteem
When you value yourself and have good self-esteem, you feel secure and worthwhile and have generally positive relationships with others. You feel confident about your abilities and tend to do well at school or work. You're also open to learning and feedback, which can help you acquire and master new skills.
With healthy self-esteem you are:
* Less prone to feelings such as hopelessness, worthlessness, guilt and shame.
* Assertive in expressing your needs and opinions.
* Confident in your ability to make decisions.
* Able to form secure and honest relationships — and less likely to stay in unhealthy ones.
* Realistic in your expectations and less likely to be overcritical of yourself and others.
* More resilient and able to weather stress and setbacks.
* Less likely to develop mental health conditions, such as eating disorders, addictions, depression and anxiety.
Because self-esteem affects every facet of your life, having a healthy, realistic view of yourself is important. Remember, it's not about blowing your own horn. It's about learning to like and respect yourself, faults and all.
When you value yourself and have good self-esteem, you feel secure and worthwhile and have generally positive relationships with others. You feel confident about your abilities and tend to do well at school or work. You're also open to learning and feedback, which can help you acquire and master new skills.
With healthy self-esteem you are:
* Less prone to feelings such as hopelessness, worthlessness, guilt and shame.
* Assertive in expressing your needs and opinions.
* Confident in your ability to make decisions.
* Able to form secure and honest relationships — and less likely to stay in unhealthy ones.
* Realistic in your expectations and less likely to be overcritical of yourself and others.
* More resilient and able to weather stress and setbacks.
* Less likely to develop mental health conditions, such as eating disorders, addictions, depression and anxiety.
Because self-esteem affects every facet of your life, having a healthy, realistic view of yourself is important. Remember, it's not about blowing your own horn. It's about learning to like and respect yourself, faults and all.