♡☆♡Lets lose weight♡☆♡

Afternoon

So on my new health kick, I'm going to start having eggs for brekky again with a slice of cinnamon raisin toast with pb and sliced banana. I also got rice cakes to have as an afternoon snack. I crave carbs in the afternoon so it'll be good!

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Signed the kids up for soccer, came home and had a couple rice cakes. I had original with some pb on it (tasted really good) and also apple cinnamon which was also really good! I like to eat everything in 2's, 2 muffins, 2 cookies...so having 2 rice cakes is only 100 cals (plus a little pb) so it'll be good for me.

Back home now and did dishes. Hubs went down for a nap, and out of boredom, I had a hoot 😡 I'm so mad at myself and now I'm anxious about the coming week. I will remember this feeling and not have one ever again. 😤

I was reading my fitness magazine but now am distracted with anxiety. I can't wait to get 100% sober. Being stoned makes me paranoid now.

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Watched some true crime videos for a while, then hubs got up and made supper.

Supper was spaghetti, meatballs and garlic toast, mmm so good!

Then I was reading my fitness magazine and noticed I could get a few free magazines, so I ordered some! Only to find out, they are digital copies... lol, boo. I like physical magazines. Oh well, I have some to read on my phone when out and about and I'll just keep buying the newest edition from Walmart.

I was showing my hubs these fit bodies and he said they are not too muscular, and I thought he would find they are. So maybe... I can do weights, start with 5lbs and work my way up to 10lbs! So this will be my new plan

Monday, Wednesday, Friday- 20 min full body workout with weights
Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday- 20 mins pilates
Monday-Friday- 20 mins interval walking on treadmill.

I'm so excited! I get to be into fitspo and gain muscle!

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Got kiddos in bed, had a couple mint oreo cookies, then bed myself.
 
Morning

Up at 6, showered and 2 iced coffees.

So I've been reading about creatine in my fitness magazines and how it boosts energy and helps with mental illness. So hubs looked it up and agreed, yes, it would be good to take.

I'm feeling a little anxious this morning. I always struggle on Mondays because it's back to being alone during the day and having to get the kids off to school...oiy. But I'm powering on. I'll go pick up some creatine after I take the kids to school.

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Got the kiddos off to school, picked up some creatine, had some at home, took Bear out for a walk, had brekky (2 eggs with 1 pb toast), did a couple chores and worked out. I didn't love the weights like pilates but I still enjoyed myself. It was easier than last time I did it, pilates has already made me stronger! I freaking love it! Had some chocolate milk after for some protein. Then I prepped meatloaf for tonight and did some more chores. I finished everything by noon, then I had lunch.
 
Afternoon

For lunch I had a deli meat sandwich, a yogurt and 2 iced coffees. And man, I'm full! I havent felt completely satiated in a long time, it feels good. And with that being said, I'm giving up junk food too. No more cookies or muffins. If I get hungry after supper, I'll have some dried cranberries or raisins.

I subscribed to Hayu again so I can watch 'the real housewives of Beverly Hills'. For Christian reasons, I stopped watching it but I realize it's ok to watch some secular stuff.

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I watched my show for an hr then fell asleep for 45 mins. I was so tired. Then MIL came home with the kids.

I have a major stressor in my life and I'm not sure how to deal with it, now I want a hoot😔 But I'll hold off till the kids go to bed. It'll be hard tho.

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Hubs got home at 530...and I had a hoot 😔 I'm anxious now but I keep thinking it'll help, but it doesn't. No more today and hopefully none tomorrow.

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Supper was meatloaf, mashed potatoes and corn. Mmm, my meatloaf is good!

So I keep thinking I should pace to help burn calories. But I don't want to get up at 5. But after talking with my hubs we agreed I should until I hit my goal weight. I keep thinking I'll be so tired during the day, but I'm always tired anyway, so what does it matter? So my step goal is 12k.

We also agreed I should eat 1500 calories and count them. I don't want to count but I will. What if I'm overeating?

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Whoa, I just checked my calories for today and yikes, I'm at 1800! Not enough to gain weight but not enough to lose weight.

So hubs and I agreed I will eat lunch, snack and a small supper, equalling 1500. So my meal plans look like this:

Brekky- 2 iced coffees
Lunch- 2 eggs with 1 pb toast and yogurt or deli meat sandwich and yogurt
Snack- 2 rice cakes
Supper- Small portion, no starchy sides
Snack- 10g of dried cranberries or raisins.

This takes me to 1500 with 60g protein.

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Got kiddos in bed and proceeded to eat 4 cookies, as a last hurray before I get into a calorie deficit tomorrow... not proud of myself, but it is what it is. Then I went to bed.
 
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Morning

Up at 5, showered and paced for 1.5 hrs. I got 6k steps.

My body is sore today from working out yesterday, but it's a good sore.

Once hubs got up, I took a quick 30 min nap at the kitchen table lol, I love how I can fall asleep anywhere.

I will eat lunch around 10-11 today. Today I will have 2 eggs, 1 pb cinnamon raisin toast and a yogurt.

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Got kiddos off to school and took Bear for a walk. Then I was really hungry, so I had a slice of pb toast. Did some chores, took some creatine, went on the treadmill and did pilates then a couple more chores.

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At 10:30 I became really hungry again, so I had 2 eggs and yogurt. Tomorrow I will just wait till 10:30 to eat, or whenever I finish working out.

Also, I realized I just love pilates so I'll put the weights away and continue on with just pilates 6x a week. Weights was ok yesterday, but it's nothing compared to pilates and I'm want to always enjoy my workout.

Then I sad down and watched my show till iced coffee time. Maybe I'll take a nap at some point.
 
Afternoon

Ended up taking an hr nap, felt good. I was up by noon then I had 2 iced coffees.

Then I watched my show all afternoon while snuggling with Bear.

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Got the kiddos from school, and my stressor is up in the air right now, I don't know the outcome yet. But I'm trying to remain calm.

I've done well so far with my diet. I had a couple of rice cakes to snack on, but I'm still hungry lol. But the crunchiness helps with binge urges.

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Once hubs got home at 5:20, I had a hoot and I didn't care. I decided I'm not giving it up, yes it makes me anxious sometimes, but it makes my depression go away and leaves me happy. And normally the anxiety goes away once supper is served and I hardly feel anxious in the evening. It also makes my chronic pain go away too. But I have rules:

1) I must wait till hubs is home
2) No sneaking away if I have company over
3) None before soccer

If I decide to quit, then I'll try.

Also, I will continue on with weights Mon, Wed, Fri, I want to challenge myself and fitspo is my jam now and it makes me want to use dumbbells, so I will.

Oiy, I need to learn to stick with something. I'm ALWAYS changing my mind. To workout, or not, to do weights or not, to vape pot or not, to diet or not...the inability to stick with something is so hard to deal with. But I will stick to my original workout plan including weights, I will learn to eat a little less and count calories (1500).

This inability to stick to anything I believe is part of my mental illness. Probably my schizophrenia. I can learn to stick to something, fitness is the first one I want to keep going at. I'm loving it and my body is already looking more toned. My hubs noticed before I did and complimented me. So just think, if (when) I stick to my diet, the weight will probably fall off.

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My supper was 3 chicken fingers with weighed plum sauce and broccoli.

Then I cleaned up, made lunches, then browsed Instagram for a while. Got the kiddos in bed, had 10g of raisins and went to bed.
 
Before I go to sleep, I wanted to add I'll be using 10 pounds tomorrow for my workout. I'm going to do 8 reps of each exercise to build muscle. My hubs doesn't find the muscular women too muscular! So yay!
 
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