I don't know why I'm talking to a forum about this but....

S

Shinra

0
I feel like venting or discussing it with my friends will lead to the usual "forget her dude, she's not worth it" responses. So I'm opening up to you guys. Here's how the story goes:

I dated a girl for almost 4 years. We shared everything together. I love her more than life. Two years ago I felt the need to break up because I felt like I was missing out on the better years of my life. I wanted to get out there and experience new people and not be tied down. For the past year and a half she kept trying to get back with me and I kept refusing and refusing.

Well a couple nights ago I started thinking about her out of nowhere, and I remembered all the good times and how good she was to me and how great we were together. So I called her up to hang out, and I basically poured my heart out to her, only for her to tell me she doesn't have those feelings for me anymore, that she hurt too much, and the worst part of all, she's seeing someone else. Someone 7 years older than her, who treats her like gold. I sat there and I wasn't sure what to think. I mean the truth is it's my fault it got to this point, but I never thought it would be too late.

I kept pushing her and pushing her away, for what? To be free? I haven't done anything different being single that I could've done when I was with her. I kept her out of my life for no reason other than selfishness that I wanted to hook up with other girls. And now its too little to late and she wants us to be "best friends." She said she still loves me and always will, but she doesn't feel that way about me anymore. It was probably the most painful thing I ever heard someone say to me, and I just don't know what to do.

So now I'm trying my hardest to be her friend but everytime she mentions the other guys name I want to flip out and kill him, but I know I can't because the whole reason this situation is like this is because of MY stupidity and MY ignorance. Thanks for listening guys, even if noone responds I'm glad I got to take this off my chest in some way.
 
Everything will be okay.

Anyway there's no profit in the past or the future. It's only the present that lies within your sphere of influence.
 
^^Did you read that on the inside of a bathroom stall? lol..

It sucks, yeah. You made a poor decision, yeah. But all you can do now is move on, meet more people, and someone will come along. I would never tell someone to get rid of a girl for the reasons you did, but all you can do now is enjoy the reasons you left.
 
[Focus] said:
Everything will be okay.

Anyway there's no profit in the past or the future. It's only the present that lies within your sphere of influence.
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Love that quote! [Focus] on the shere of influence you have control over! YEP! The present, and it can affect one's future.

FOCUS YOU ROCK!

Best wishes

Chillen
 
mreik said:
^^Did you read that on the inside of a bathroom stall? lol..
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I accidentally went to class one day, and it turned out Jack Canfield and Leibniz's ghost were giving a guest lecture on worrying and regret, respectively.

Needless to say, I haven't been since.
 
Mate, you made a bad choice giving her the flick but now you have made your bed and you will have to lie in it im afraid. The best thing you can do is love her like a friend and make sure that if the time came along you would be there for her.

I dont really have any real suggestions on how you could get her back but I dont think that is what you are asking. Make sure that you are not in love with the concept of being in love rather than love itself. Trust me man there are many lovely women out there.

Despite how you feel now humans have an amazing capacity for love, believe it or not it can be found again, you just have to open your heart.

I dont know if that really helped but yeah.
 
LiveFromNY said:
we're here for you - and i'm a girl, btw
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lol are you trying to catch him on the rebound? :yelrotflmao:


Im actually gonna go the other way with this. She no longer has those feelings and is happy with her boyfriend, this makes you angry. Remove yourself from the situation. Staying around to try and be "best friends" isnt gonna work. You now have those feelings of wanting her back, and its gonna cause some serious problems. Both in your day to day happiness, and possibly to the relationship (yours and hers) anyways if you try and move in.

I say go out and find yourself a new mate. Do it now instead of months or years from now, when you'll end up realizing you should've moved on.

Is she worth it? To you absolutely. Enough to make you miserable? Nope.
 
I agree with everyone else. There are lots of people that you will be compatible with. This just sounds like an issue of bad timing. It's unfortunate, but there are plenty of women out there who will work for you. You shouldn't wait around for this one. She may have found the love of her life, you never know. You can't put your life on hold for her. If it was meant to be, it would have been.

Spend a little bit of time single. Pursue your own interests. Don't worry too much about a relationship. It will come when you're ready.
 
I was in the same situation but can see it on the end of your gf. I had a guy I was really into, respected a lot, and was very attracted to. I thought he was great and looked up to him but at some point in the relationship he started treating me like garbage. Just always pissy, cutting me down and stopped doing me any favors. I told him numerous times that I was unhappy and wasn't going to stick around but he didn't listen. I eventually ended it and when I did I was super happy cause by that point he had hurt me so much I had no more feelings for him and was not attracted to him at all.

By the second week he realized he ****ed up and wanted me back. I already started dating someone else. Loosely, but I was having fun with this new guy and my interest for him was gone. As time went on he got more and more desperate and he changed EVERYTHING. I mean everything about his attitude and the way he treated me. One year later he still wants me back and is totally obsessed. It's since ended with the other guy but it's still too late. I lost all feelings and have tried to get the feelings back on how I felt when I first met him but they are gone. I don't want to say I'll never have them again but it's not likely. Even with his new super nice attitude :)

So yeah, I would say try to move on as best you can. Honestly I would try to date other girls and find someone you can feel as strongly about.
 
calcium said:
I was in the same situation but can see it on the end of your gf. I had a guy I was really into, respected a lot, and was very attracted to. I thought he was great and looked up to him but at some point in the relationship he started treating me like garbage. Just always pissy, cutting me down and stopped doing me any favors. I told him numerous times that I was unhappy and wasn't going to stick around but he didn't listen. I eventually ended it and when I did I was super happy cause by that point he had hurt me so much I had no more feelings for him and was not attracted to him at all.

By the second week he realized he ****ed up and wanted me back. I already started dating someone else. Loosely, but I was having fun with this new guy and my interest for him was gone. As time went on he got more and more desperate and he changed EVERYTHING. I mean everything about his attitude and the way he treated me. One year later he still wants me back and is totally obsessed. It's since ended with the other guy but it's still too late. I lost all feelings and have tried to get the feelings back on how I felt when I first met him but they are gone. I don't want to say I'll never have them again but it's not likely. Even with his new super nice attitude :)

So yeah, I would say try to move on as best you can. Honestly I would try to date other girls and find someone you can feel as strongly about.
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Give me his address, what time he gets home from work and 5000 dollars and he will never bother you again :cool:
 
tonymcclellan said:
Staying around to try and be "best friends" isnt gonna work.
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Yeah, the whole best friends thing like in that retarded TV show that was on nicktoons clarissa explains it all (it was my sister that watched it I swear...) between guys and girls probably doesn't ever happen. (I mean, the dude climbed into her window in the middle of the night, they aren't "just friends")

fit4life1976 said:
Life is short mate...just make sure you stay fit :D
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lol, exercise could take ur mind off her...
 
Thanks for all the replies guys. They helped a lot. It's so hard to let go when you thought the other person would never let go either. Ironically, all of my friends are now in relationships lol. But I'm strong, and I will come out of this happy one way or another.
 
I hear the fading sounds of a whip cracking. LOL

Seriously dude move on. Plenty of women out there. Enjoy being single.
 
I agree with everyone else really. You know what you gotta do, so do it! ;)

How old are you by the way? If your under 22 dont think about being serious with a girl :D Enjoy yourself man!
 
Perhaps you should look deep into your soul and question whether or not you're feeling like this simply because she's now "unavailable?"

It's human nature to want when it is not wanted. There are many times in your life where you will want something so badly, and once you get it, you will ignore it and let it go until it goes away again and the want comes back.

It's a game. She's playing you a fool. Now you want her, and she knows it and she's going to keep acting like this while you sit on your butt all day long thinking about her. How do you resolve it? Forget about it. Pretend like she doesn't exist. Play the tough guy. Don't be her friend and don't be her support. Instead, act like she doesn't even exist. Bring other girls with you when you visit and sooner or later, she's going to want you so badly like you do now. She already gave you a hint. She said she loves you but not the same as before. What it translate to is, "You stupid ***hole, you dumped me, you ignored me, now it's payback *****."

Now the question is how badly do you want her back? Are you going to sit there and ponder this all day? Or are you going to go out there and get her? Do you really love her? If so, it's time to man up and take it by the horn. Remember, she's testing you. You already dumped her and broke her heart and rejected her. This is payback in her own little way. This is how they do you in. You give up, and she realize you're not strong enough, not cut out for her. You're not man enough for her. If you want her this badly, it's time to get her and not sit there on your butt all day thinking about her.
 
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Dallen, i dont think theres any chance he will get her back.

Once they lose the love, its unlikely that it will return. Plus she will be falling in love with her new man now.

Move on is the way forward.
 
I'm going to disagree. Only because the first cut is the deepest. Moving on is not so easy.

If you really love this girl, go get her. Life is too short to sit around and go about in self-pity and thinking about "could-have-been's."

An old saying goes, "knock, and the door will open." Opening the door helps you seek what you want and at the same time get something better in the end.
 
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