Greek Island Countdown

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awakening

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Hi everyone! I have been reading the forums for a couple weeks now and have finally discovered the courage to start my own diary.

I am travelling to the Greek Islands in 3 weeks and my short term goal is to feel comfortable in a bathing suit while I'm there. My long term goals are much more complicated...i think i might have some problems with food, but i'm not exactly sure what my problem is, so maybe you guys can give me some advice on that!

I started dieting for Greece about 3 weeks ago and have diligently kept a food/exercise log on my computer. I'm 5'1" and I started at 119 pounds (which I realize is a healthy weight, but it's on the upper end of the range [100-130] for my height). In the first week, I got down to 114, so most of that must have been water weight, since my food log only says I should have lost 1.25 pounds. Over the next three weeks, I found myself developing this horrible pattern. I am very healthy during the week, and then I binge one night (usually friday or saturday) and become completely discouraged, depressed, embarrassed, and angry with myself. I recover emotionally eventually and begin eating healthy again, but it's a horrible cycle. Yesterday was one of those binge days...there was cake at work for someone's birthday and I found myself alone with it after everybody else left and ate half the cake. Then i went to a party where there all this fried food and ate whatever i felt like. I had gotten down to 113.5 yesterday morning, but I gained 4 pounds when I weighed myself before bed! I woke up this morning at 116, feeling ready to start over, but I'm really scared that I'm going to mess up again. Tonight we are going to a potluck dinner and I fear the worst, but I'm going to try really hard to eat like a normal person.

I strive to eat around 1200 calories a day and burn 600 doing cardio (usually running 7 miles or elliptical/bike). Since I metabolize 1600/day according to calorie-count.com, then I'm burning off a total or 1000/day, or 7000/week, which is 2 pounds/week.

Here's today's meals:

B - cream of wheat (100)
1/2 cup egg beaters (70)
L - baby carrots (25)
yogurt (110)
1 slice ww with hummus, spinach, tomato (200)
apple (70)
S - pear (70)

I appreciate ANY advice, comments, or experiences you'd like to share.

Peace
 
as we were walking back from lunch, there was all this food laid out in the atrium of our building (must be for a conference or something), so my coworkers all grabbed something (brownies, cookies, etc). i just took a skewer with a couple pieces of fruit on it. i'm so proud of myself!
not that it's that impressive. i'm still feeling completely stuffed from my binge yesterday...and i NEVER feel full, so you can imagine how much i must have overeaten...in reality, i feel like i shouldn'thave felt the need to take ANYTHING if i wasn't hungry.
 
after reading so many of your posts, i realize that i am WAY lacking on the weight training. i have always focused on cardio because that's what burns the calories. i always thought, why do weight training if you are a girl? i'm also very intimidated to use the equipment at our gym (it's just in our apartment and there's only ever guys using the machines), i wouldn't know where to start! sometimes i do sit ups using a stability ball or lunges with 3 pound weights in my hands, but pretty rarely. is it really important to do weight training or can i just stick to the cardio if my goal is weight loss/healthy eating?

when i get home from work today, i'm going to run 7 miles on the treadmill, which i can do in just under an hour (sounds boring, but our gym has little TVs on each treadmill, so i usually watch an episode of law and order!)
then i'll do 100 sit ups and 100 lunges because that's all i know how to do...any other suggestions? all i have is a stability ball and two 3 lb weights...
 
Hello honey...get one of the guys to help you in the gym. I'm sure they might be able to show you few things. Eat lots of protein. Looks like to me your not eating enough. Good for you on the fruit skewer. I'm not sure how to help you with the binge thing. One of the other girls could.
 
Well, weight/strength training is a very important part of keeping all parts of the body strong and toned. It really depends on what you're looking for overall in your body. If you want to become physically fit overall, you should somehow incorporate weight training in your exercise regimine. You're doing a good job with the cardio. But remember that it never hurts to mix up your exercising. That's what I found so hard about exercise when I first started, because I didn't know: 1. What I was doing and 2. Any variables to my workouts. So in closing: To evenly develope your body, it's good to have a mix of weight training and cardio workouts (plus eating well/right)

Good luck on your training :) I hope you find what's right. Welcome to the forum.

EDIT: On the binge eating thing (forgot to add this): I had the same exact problem. One thing you're going to want to avoid is eating in front of the television or while multi-tasking. That was a VERY large problem with me, because my schedule was always so busy and I couldn't find time alone to eat. I worked out my meal plans and found a specific place (in my home) to eat. I woud sit, concentrate on my food and hunger. Take small, slow bites and chew your food slowly--helps alert the brain to when you are full. Remember that binge eating is a compulsive behavior, and sometimes trying to handle it on your own might not help. You could consult a physician and/or psychiatrist for proper help.
 
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thanks for the advice she4 and discusgirl!
how many grams of protein do i need per day? it looks like i got about 27 so far today...
as for the binge eating, you are totally right-on about avoiding food while doing other things...when i plan out elaborate sit-down meals, even for breakfast, it REALLY helps me because i feel psychologically satisfied...
i would LOVE to see a shrink about this, but it is such a luxury because of the cost...maybe i will treat myself though, i know how important my health is.
i saw somebody in '03 when i first decided to try and change my eating behaviors. they put me on prozac for moderate depression. i went to weight watchers at the same time, and lost 35 pounds (from 142 to 117)!!! i felt amazing, didn't ever feel the need to fill that anxiety-ridden void with food, but then decided to stop the Prozac (kills your sex drive) and my weight started to bounce around. since '03, i've yoyo'ed between 120 to 107, but am constantly preoccupied with food and hunger and anxiety. my bf HATES this and wants me to be healthy, but also seems to be most attracted to me when i'm around 110, so i feel like i need to lose right now to feel confident about my body in front of him.

well i've finally come to the end of this miserable work day...off to the gym...wish me luck at the potluck ;) i have the willpower, i know i do, just have to follow through.

happy friday everyone!!
 
If your boyfriend loved you, he wouldn't care what your weight was. Don't do this for him. That's the worst reason to do it. For the longest time, I didn't think Greene liked me at my weight. He never wanted to date somebody who was big, but he likes me for me and my weight (after a long talk that needed to happen about everything under the sun.) Of course he would like to see my healthy. He's seen my family go thru the health problems and he doesn't want me to end up like that.

Let us know what happened at the potluck.
 
Good luck at the potluck. Do know this: You don't necessarily have to pay for a psychiatrist. You could always try and find binge eating support groups and activities around your local community. Your best bet is to go to your community center and/or meeting place and ask about local gatherings and information about fitness and well being. I'm sure there's something for everyone. And I second what She47411 says. Do it for the only person that it truly matters: You. :) Let us know how things went.
 
Jayme said this:
But anyway! I know what u mean! b/c i try to stop myself and then i end up saying oh its okay...but then i feel miserable afterwards and guilty....so just do what She said haha! b/c its true if you eat a normal sized portion and then make yourself wait a while...do something fold laundry or take a walk or watch a TV show SOMETHING for at least 20 minutes. then you will know if you REALLY want that extra bread or pudding.
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Take this into conseradation too. Get a hobby or do some activities you enjoy. If you don't think about food, you won't be hungry. The food will always be in the fridge or pantry if you are really that hungry for seconds/thirds. You don't always have to eat it in one setting. Nobody is gonna take it away from you as my parents would say.
 
wow, it's really so nice to get support from you guys. i have always felt so alone in this battle, it's all been in my head, you know?
i will definitely look into some support groups, i absolutely loved weight watchers for that reason, but it was costly as well. maybe there's something at my school...

she4 - i totally know what you mean about doing this for myself...sometimes i do wonder who i am torturing myself like this for...of course i want to be healthy, that's for me...but i'll have to do some more soul searching to figure out what weight is right for me...my bf always says he'll LOVE me no matter what (we're actually engaged), but i know he's more sexually attracted to me when i'm skinnier. it's a subtle thing though, and i honestly can't blame him for it, i think it's subconscious. actually, i think what really turns him off is seeing me binge and be out of control, not the subtle changes in my weight. as long as i'm in a normal range, i don't think his attraction to me changes...he just doesn't want to see me become obese, which i can understand. i probably wouldn't be as attracted to him if he was obese either (i would still LOVE him though). does that make sense?

i was really hungry on the way home and i had to stop at the grocery for the potluck. i bought some granola bars (120 cal each) too so i could eat one in the car (but i stuck the box in the trunk so i could only eat one!!)
and i just ate a banana because i felt like i needed some more energy for the gym...and off i go!

i'll let you know how the potluck goes :)
thanks so much for your support. you guys rock!
 
she4 - i totally know what you mean about doing this for myself...sometimes i do wonder who i am torturing myself like this for...of course i want to be healthy, that's for me...but i'll have to do some more soul searching to figure out what weight is right for me...my bf always says he'll LOVE me no matter what (we're actually engaged), but i know he's more sexually attracted to me when i'm skinnier. it's a subtle thing though, and i honestly can't blame him for it, i think it's subconscious. actually, i think what really turns him off is seeing me binge and be out of control, not the subtle changes in my weight. as long as i'm in a normal range, i don't think his attraction to me changes...he just doesn't want to see me become obese, which i can understand. i probably wouldn't be as attracted to him if he was obese either (i would still LOVE him though). does that make sense?
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Yes it makes sense, but would you still have some attraction to him if he was obese? Would he still have some attraction to you if you were obese? These are some things that you have to look at since you two are engaged. I can understand that he doesn't want you obese, but in some ways if he's gonna think like that, then he doesn't really love you. It's just my opinion. If you guys really love each other, go for it. Just don't do it for the wrong reasons.
 
when i get home from work today, i'm going to run 7 miles on the treadmill, which i can do in just under an hour (sounds boring, but our gym has little TVs on each treadmill, so i usually watch an episode of law and order!)
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Whoa nelly! That gym sounds like the ritz:) !
 
She47441 said:
Yes it makes sense, but would you still have some attraction to him if he was obese? Would he still have some attraction to you if you were obese? These are some things that you have to look at since you two are engaged. I can understand that he doesn't want you obese, but in some ways if he's gonna think like that, then he doesn't really love you. It's just my opinion. If you guys really love each other, go for it. Just don't do it for the wrong reasons.
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of course we would still have some attraction to each other, but it's a gray scale. i don't want him to just have some attraction to me, i want him to be passionate and excited about me. i want him to want me so bad it hurts :)
things are fine the way they are, we have a healthy love life, but the way i see life, you should always be working towards your personal best. i can never accept the way things are if i see an avenue for improvement. this mentality of course has it's drawbacks because i end up putting an insane amount of pressure on myself, but it's also the reason i've achieved a lot of great things in my life.
 
so the weekend was tough. i felt like i was restricting myself somewhat at the potluck and then at a cookout last night, so i definitely just broke even. i'm actually proud of this because i'm always either severely restricting or consuming out of control, so this weekend actually was good. it's crazy though, when i was at these parties, all i could think about was how i wanted to eat more, but knew i shouldn't. if no one else was there i think i would have eaten the whole table of food. why am i like this????
i wonder if i'll always feel like this or if when i get into a more regular eating pattern, if these desires to overeat will subside? i never had these feelings on antidepressants, but i'd really like to try and overcome this without meds.

ate about 2100 each day and burned 500 at the gym. was 116.5 when i woke up this morning.

today is going to be a good day, i can feel it. i'm going to eat healthy, do a LONG run at the gym (9 miles?), clean my bathroom, organize my clothes and throw out stuff i don't need. then tonight, we are going to my parents for dinner. mom just told me yesterday that she and dad are joining weight watchers!!! i'm so proud of them. they're motivating themselves for our wedding, i think. they've both definitely gained 50 lbs since i left home.

btw, my gym IS awesome. i live in a huge apartment building and the gym takes up like a quarter of the entire first floor. it's got all these mirrors on the walls like a dance studio and they offer free kickboxing and stuff. there's actually this woman who does personal training for a pretty low price, but i still can't afford a personal trainer!! maybe someday when i finish school...

so far:
B - egg beaters (70)
small banana (90)

projected:
L - hummus (50), mixed greens, tomato on one slice of ww bread (90)
lucerne low fat yogurt (110)
baby carrots (40)
pear (90)

D- 1/4 lb flank steak (240)
baked potato with 2 tbsp reduced fat sour cream (210)
broccoli (30)
some kind of light dessert (100)

grand total: 1155
 
best of luck awekening u and i are the same height almost
so i can understand what u mean:)
keep up the good work
 
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Glad you like ur gym. That's always a good thing to hear. Kudos on eating at the potluck. Defintely on not eating the whole table full of food.

Tell your parents good luck w/Weight Watchers. Now you can give them pointers.
 
slimsadie said:
best of luck awekening u and i are the same height almost
so i can understand what u mean:)
keep up the good work
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hey slimsadie!
congrats on getting down from 140. that's about where i started too. are you still doing atkins?
 
She47441 said:
Glad you like ur gym. That's always a good thing to hear. Kudos on eating at the potluck. Defintely on not eating the whole table full of food.

Tell your parents good luck w/Weight Watchers. Now you can give them pointers.
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LOL. thanks. they are so cute. i hope they stick to it. last night we went there for dinner and i weighed out portions of steak for them, so they didn't have more than 3 oz...and then forced my dad to eat lots of broccoli :D
 
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