Fixing your problems

calcium said:
Dr. Evo,

I deal with fits of rage. I get incredibly angry and will throw something or flip out on someone and then after a couple minutes or so I won't feel anything.

Help me.
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You know, I've seen this a lot by those who've been abducted by aliens as a young child. You're going to have to start dealing with this first. Also, your fits of rage are usually only directed towards those that are selling you fake crack. Remember, the dealers are not your friends.

Solution: Accept your abduction by aliens and stop smoking crack.
 
Guys,

You guys are mucking up my very serious thread here. Please refrain from silliness. These people are having real issues and problems. I'm working here.
 
evolution said:
Guys,

You guys are mucking up my very serious thread here. Please refrain from silliness. These people are having real issues and problems. I'm working here.
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Please accept my most sincere apology. I will refrain from posting in here.

Maybe thats my problem. Evo can you help me with my issue of jacking everyone's threads. I see a comment that leaves a door open and I just cannot stop myself from walking through that door.
 
Kraken said:
Please accept my most sincere apology. I will refrain from posting in here.

Maybe thats my problem. Evo can you help me with my issue of jacking everyone's threads. I see a comment that leaves a door open and I just cannot stop myself from walking through that door.
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It's because you're both a post whore and you're starving for attention. It goes back to your childhood in which you were neglected and left alone while your parents went gambling and getting their bodies pierced. They also left you because they were embarrased by your small nostrils and didn't want to take you places.

I suggest a PA (postaholics) meeting.
 
evolution said:
It's because you're both a post whore and you're starving for attention. It goes back to your childhood in which you were neglected and left alone while your parents went gambling and getting their bodies pierced. They also left you because they were embarrased by your small nostrils and didn't want to take you places.

I suggest a PA (postaholics) meeting.
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wow how did you know? You are amazing.:cool:
 
I have a problem that needs your expert help Evo;

Ever since an accident in my lab where I was exposed to radiation from a gamma bomb, I’ve been prone to certain ‘episodes’ of transforming into a muscle bound, green skinned, enormous freak filled with rage.

Although I always thought it would be nice to add a bit of muscle, I didn’t want to get ‘too big’, you know what I mean? I wanted more of a cut & lean look because now my 50” thighs of pure muscle don’t fit into my skinny jeans

Do you know how I can get skinny and ripped while still being able to walk through buildings and lift cars with one hand? I heard Bruce Lee (strongest man in da world ever) used to be able to juggle monster trucks as a party trick so I know that skinny dudes are the strongest

Oh, and what kind of foundation would you recommend for concealing the green skin?
 
my problem:

I constantly chew aspartame filled gum. I can feel my brain dying by the second but I am addicted. Help me Evo.
 
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