Weight-Loss Does Anyone Focus on the Mental?

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Hi douknowjello

Of course, I cannot convince you to do anything...only you can decide to give this a try.
Jericho and I have offered you a tool to have a shot at, that is part of the solution to permanent weight loss. I am not suggesting nonsense diets, neither am I promoting drugs or surgery. Simply easy tools that will allow you to cut down the intake and yet still feel good and "full".
The choice is yours. This is easy. If you are ready to lose weight and you want to lose weight then give it a go. Are you ready?

I wish you well whatever you choose to do.
 
Hello P400D

Well done you because awareness is progression. The very fact that you recognise that emotions are one of the reasons that you are eating...means that you can sort this.
I am very surprised that any qualified hypnotherapist gave you this suggestion about a "metaphysical mass". That sounds like the hypnotherapist coming up with a reason why they did not have the skills to help you.
I would suggest to you that you can overcome this and that your old issues can be easily dissolved with the correct help.
Remember this. All negative emotions are based in the past. They are history. You cannot be angry or sad about something that hasn't happened yet! Sometimes people say to me "yes, I can", but when I ask them they go on to describe an event 'as if it had happened' . The only emotion that is different is worry. My definition of worry is to think about something that probably will not happen in the future so that we can get to feel crap now! Why do we do that!
So, not thinking about anything from the past and not thinking about anything that will not happen in the future anyway......what problems do you have?......
I suggest none!
That is why all the metaphysical books talk about living in the here and now.
Because, if we stay in the 'Now'... not thinking about anything from the past or the future....then you can only feel either neutral or emotions that are positive.
I recommend that you read a book called "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.

Imagine how life will be having let go of all the negative emotions and only going forward in your life able to feel positive emotions.
Try that on for a moment. All you can feel is happiness, excitement, joy, bliss etc
Just how much of a difference will that make to what you choose to eat? How different does that feel now?

You know, I agree that it is a case of burning more calories than you choose to put in your mouth. What I do is give people the tools to put them in charge of what they are choosing to put in their mouth and also help them to get self-motivated about moving more and thereby burning more energy/calories.

I hope you find this helpful.
I wish you well.
Weightwizard
 
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weightwizard said:
Jericho

Yes, putting down your knife and fork between every mouthful is good advice.

Other than that I am not sure about the point of your post. You seem to want to disagree with anything that does not agree with your own beliefs. I am not convinced that is helpful as a moderator.
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Jericho is voicing his opinion just like you do. The fact that he is a moderator does not mean he is not allowed to have an opinion. If you have a problem with people who do not share your opinion, an internet forum might not necessarily be the right place for you, since everybody here is free to believe whatever they want to, and voice that as well.
 
The fact that humans evolved to crave as much sugar, salt and fat they could cram down their gullets is not a belief, it's scientific fact.

But, I was eating at a buffet tonight (Ponderosa, and stuck to lean meats and vegetables) and I had no desire to kill the other people and keep all the food for myself, so it is possible to overcome evolutionary forces. By using your powerful brain.
 
I just read through this thread as a whole, and stopped at the post about staying in the here and now, not thinking about the past or the future, and the fact that I supposedly end up with no negative thoughts.

Now, here is a proposal for you...I will only think about the here and now, and describe exactly how I feel.

At this precise moment I

1) am cold, because the gas has run out and I have no money to buy more
2) feel as if my back is killing me
3) am in extreme pain from my foot for no apparent reasons
4) am tired
5) am trying not to fall off my chair, which is broken

Now...I don't know about you, but there is very little bliss or joyfulness in that. It's great if you don't have any problems right now, but I sure as hell have some, and I don't know how you can claim that all there is here and now is happy or neutral.

I wish it would be possible to eradicate all negative emotions, but that's a dream. If you open your eyes and look around, it's just not happening. Reality is not all happy, joy and bliss, and if those book-writing people really lived in the 'here and now', they would be aware of that.

Sorry, but that part sounds like a big pile of nonsense to me.
 
First of all - Happy New Year to you.

You know Einstein said that "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one"


The moment that you thought was here and now has already gone, and you need to take your focus back - off the past and onto the here and now.

Your conscious mind can only focus upon a limited number of things at any one time. If you are focusing on something that has happened in the past - it will make you feel a certain way....and then you will respond to that feeling with an action.
Depending upon what you are choosing to focus upon, will determine that action:
If you are focusing upon something that you enjoy, or are proud of of, or perhaps someone that you love - then that will make you feel one way...and you may respond to that feeling simply by permitting yourself to smile.

If instead you choose to focus upon something that made you sad or unhappy or angry....then you will feel a different way...perhaps like there is a void inside. If you then try to fill up that 'feeling' of void with food, then the irony is that you will never feel complete.
Instead, we need to resolve the feeling. Then we will discover that we simply do not have the same desire to turn to food because there is no feeling of void to fill.

Step number one in resolving that feeling is to realise that you are in complete control.

I could explain further how to achieve that if you wish.
You know they say that the average number of times an adult will try something new is less than once. When I first heard this I thought "how can it be less than once".
Then I realised is that what they were saying is that many people just run it in their head...decide it probably won't work for them....and then never even try it.

Do you want to be that person that never tries this, but makes a judgement anyway.
Or are you ready to make 2011 your most successful year ever?

I wish you well.
 
Sounds all very nice.

Unfortunately you kind of talked around a proper answer to the question in my earlier post. But that's all right, I didn't really expect a straight answer anyway.

Just FYI, I am somebody who tries new stuff all the time. Yes, I usually think about it before hand and wonder if it will work, but more often than not, I decide to give it a go regardless. I mean, what do I have to lose, really?

I just think that saying that you should just concentrate on the 'positive' doesn't work. You can't just ignore the negative and decide that it's not there. You can tell yourself that life's great and concentrate on things you enjoy as much as you want to, but something like that is not compatible with reality, and not sustainable. Real life wants dealing with, and it won't go away just because you tell it to.

Life isn't all bliss. Pretending that it is will just make you feel worse once you realise it's not.
 
Hi San

Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post.
Yeah, I did start to write a point by point reply to your post - then my computer logged me out and I decided that it was a sign - so I dropped it and took a different tack.
I did read your post and I do understand what you are saying.
Work with me here over the forthcoming year and let's see how we can help each other.

The thinking is that we get whatever we choose to focus upon. Thinking about it attracts that into our life.
Many people spend a lot of time either dwelling on something unpleasant from their past or worrying about something that has not happened in the future.
In doing so...they are literally causing themselves to feel worse than they need to.
If they then turn to food as a method of making themselves feel better.....

Remember the posting that you responded to was written in response to P400D's comments about emotional eating.

You have complete control over what you decide to focus upon. You decide what thoughts to pay attention to and what to ignore. You have complete control.
By paying attention to what you are happy about in your life, what you are grateful for, then you spend less time feeling bad and thereby are much less likely to turn to food.
My entire ethos for helping people to lose weight is to get them back into that position of control, helping them to spend more time feeling good and as a result they find themselves doing the two things that help>
They take in less calories and they expend more calories as they find themselves becoming more active in their life.

People say to me that you cannot think yourself thin. In actual fact everything starts with your thoughts.
Thoughts>become feelings>become behaviour>become habits.
Therefore thinking yourself thin is exactly the way that will kick-start your success!

I hope 2011 turns out to be your best year ever.
Best wishes.
 
I'm not here to be funny or argue, you have some good points weightwizard. But in this community we are bombarded constantly with people professing to have all the answers and just wanting to be here to help but in reality they are just trying to get a foot in so they can market or sell something. I can't help but get that feeling here when in one of your earlier comments you offered up what you called a "freebie" piece of advice...leading me to believe later on there will be a charge.

If that is not the case then why not try to get to know people here better on a more individual basis. Maybe even post your advice in your own personal journal and become a part of the community here. This is a very strong and supportive community and we all tend to lean on and trust one another because we're all in the same boat. In other words, people don't care what you know until they genuinly know that you care. Outsiders from any aspect of the diet industry trying to make a profit off our hardships do not get cut alot of slack.
 
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I agree with Jello... I'm reading Wizards posts very suspiciously because of that 'freebie' comment, and because we don't know him, and because he seems to think that he has all the answers and knows everything. Become a part of the community first perhaps and then impart any wisdom you think you have, but if people don't want to listen or believe you, it's not your decision to force them to - everyone here is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs.
 
Hi All

Fair comments I guess.
I do help people to permanently lose weight yes. ( I am developing a website, but it is still in progress....so not much to "sell" you at present).
I do though run classes in Scotland in the United Kingdom if you want to pop over. :)


Having successfully helped people to lose weight by getting them away from the concept of diets and putting them back in control of their own lives....I thought I could reach out and help others throughout the world.
Despite years and years of 'diet' products the world is not getting slimmer. Some different thinking is needed. I don't believe the whole concept of 'diets' are helping.
If I were in the same boat then I probably would not be much help. I have spent 10 years studying methods that work by helping people get control again.

Douknowjello, thanks for the suggestion of the personal journal. I had not considered that.
 
Ok weightwizard, I have been very suspicious of you from the start. You want to know why? Cause none of your posts sound like an actual person, they sound like either someone wanting to sell me a home hypno kit or someone trying to talk over my head. This is a simple forum for real people. I happen to be a very smart person. As a mod, I'm also a very protective person to the people here. They have helped me and i'll be damned if I let someone try to scam them. So far, you haven't tried to sell anything. That is good but take a second and look at your posts and the reaction it has gotten. There is a reason for that, because of how you come off. We don't know you. 33 posts later and we still don't know YOU. Hell, I'll be honest. It has gotten to the point with you for me that I scan your posts for infractions. That's it because you have created this image of yourself to the community. We welcome advice but you aren't giving advice, you are giving a lecture.

Instead of that, talk like a member of the community and people will be more receptive.

For example: most of what you talk about can be reduced to 'if you think positive and work on your mindset, you will find taking the steps easier'
 
WeightWizard

Your name alone is strange - there's no 'wizardy' involved in losing weight. No magic is required! Knowledge, willpower, discipline, determination, desire to take care of yourself in all ways, etc, etc. Not magic, just capabilities we all have but can sometimes struggle to bring into play depending upon what else may be happening in our lives.

You are recommending and claiming expertise in a mix of theories - hypnosis, NLP, anxiety management techniques, etc.

I know most of these theories. At some level they all make sense but they are only one view of how the human mind and emotions function and how they can be managed. There are many other views.

A lot of people come onto this site claiming to have 'the answer'. Some are promoting products and others are simply feeding their ego in some way.

I like reading this site. Many people on this site are intelligent, articulate and honest about how they feel and where they are at. But the self professed 'guru's' are tedious. The growing obesity problem is far too complex to be easily analysed or solved with a single solution.

I don't profess to know why there is an obesity problem and I only have an answer to weight management that works for me. I am happy to share what I have learned through my own experiences and in return I get to learn from the experience and knowledge of others. To take any position other than mutual sharing of learnings is, in my personal view, high handed and arrogant.

That may not be the opinion of others on this site but it is my opinion.
 
Spinner1964 said:
I like reading this site. Many people on this site are intelligent, articulate and honest about how they feel and where they are at. But the self professed 'guru's' are tedious. The growing obesity problem is far too complex to be easily analysed or solved with a single solution.

I don't profess to know why there is an obesity problem and I only have an answer to weight management that works for me. I am happy to share what I have learned through my own experiences and in return I get to learn from the experience and knowledge of others. To take any position other than mutual sharing of learnings is, in my personal view, high handed and arrogant.
Click to expand...

I agree with you spinner. I've gotten more help from this community at age 37 than I have from any book, diet plan or even doctor. That's because there are plenty of successful people here on weightloss willing to share what worked for them so I've taken that and shaped it into what works for me. On top of that, we all take things to a more personal level than even the in person support groups so alot of us are able to address more than just the weight loss alone. This is our safe haven.

I'd also like to point out that many of us have shaken off the diet mentality. While it's pretty obvious there's no quick fix solution to weight loss, there's also no complicated or magical method either. The successful people here have found simple solutions, no tricks or gimmicks. I personally stopped thinking I have to starve myself, work out 5 hours a day, and never have anything that tastes good and do this perfectly or not at all. I finally stopped setting myself up to fail every time. That was thanks to people here and their patience visiting my journal and pointing things out that could help me personally. Not alot of generic blanket advice here.
 
That is all very true douknowjello. People on this site can be quite generous with their time, knowledge and experience in their effort to support one another in a mutually constructive way. S
 
Oh and as far as the original post of this thread, I've actually pinned down alot of the things I do that hinder my weight loss but not figured out all the reasons why. Maybe I never will. In the end I found trying to change every one of my behaviors and figure out the mental part alot more work than the weight loss itself. It was overwhelming and very tiring. So instead I made the changes I could and then worked around the rest. Alot of this is about self acceptance, not just of of who we are and how we look but all our little quirks as well.

Here's some of my own personal examples of what I mean. I've never been able to keep up on balancing a check book. My mom tried to drill it in my head that I had to, and I did try. May sound crazy but I used to hate it when people would stand in front of me at a check out slowly writing out their checks then slowly entering it into the ledger. Usually stopping to smile at everyone and make some comment about if they didn't do it now, etc. Nope...I shove my receipt in my purse or bag and go, then can't find half of them later, lol. I finally stopped agonizing over it and thank goodness for the internet and debit cards. My accounts are never overdrawn.

Same with paying bills or writing to people...if I have to find an envelope, address it then find a stamp too? Yea it's not going to get done. Again, I'm so thankful for the internet. One year for a new year's resolution I went out with a list in hand to a discount card store and bought a card for all my friends and family for every occasion. I wrote in them and got them all ready to go, even had them stamped. Then I organized them by month and each month I'd just grab them and toss them in the mailbox. It cost like $60 and I never did it again, but I showed myself that I could.

With weightloss this is the same thing that has hindered me in the past...my inability to be consistant for any length of time. This last week of stress and exhaustion alone would have normally thrown me off and been a week of fast food for sure. And I'm never going to be the kind of person who goes in the kitchen and cooks every day. I've really tried and felt bad about myself for not being suzie home maker, but then again my husband and I work very strange and varied shifts. My solution, and anyone who reads my journal, is freezer cooking. I do a few cooking sessions, making all the mess at once for the entire month and then freeze it. I buy fresh produce and veggies but also keep frozen and canned on hand for when I don't make it to the store. Sounds like I'm very organized but I'm not....I'm intermittently organized I guess, lol. So that's what I work with and its working for me.
 
Some of our quirks are just our personality and temperament and quite frankly don't need to be changed. If we were all the same the world would be a boring place!

I can't read a map - in fact most of the time I don't really know where I am. When I am sent somewhere new (which happens regularly) I am sent with a pre coded speaking navigator, printed maps and my PA is ready for a phone call from me wailing 'I'm lost'!

Could I learn to read a map? Yep but it would just take more effort than I am prepared to put in. Why? Who cares? It's not messing up my life, gives my office something to do and as a bonus they get to laugh at me!

We don't need 'fixing' unless whatever we are doing is self destructive in some way.

So, I say, 'Leave me alone. I like my quirks. So what if I am always surprised at where the UK is on the globe? I get the joy of discovery everytime I look at worldwide map!'.
 
I've gotten over the lifelong habit of eating too many calories.
I eat 1200-1400 a day.
Below is what I believe my reasons for over-eating were.

Reasons I used to Order/Cook too much food
1.) Waited too long between meals -> Got super hungry ->Ordered/Cooked a lot of food
2.) Had a major craving
3.) Wasn’t aware of actual calorie count of everything -> I ordered/cooked what I was used to
4.) Hungry or Thirsty -> Hungry…
5.) Bored -> Made food just because

Reasons I didn’t stop eating that large amount
1.) I was used to eating that much -> it was my normal
2.) Watching TV -> Before I knew it the food was gone
3.) Ate too fast -> Body didn’t have time to tell me I was satisfied
4.) The food was soooo good --> I didn’t want to stop
5.) Felt bad for homeless people w/o food so I finished my plate instead of throwing it in the trash (What an excuse! Why didn’t I just put it in the fridge!?)
6.) Didn’t pin point the craving -> went back and ate something else
 
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Hi Guys

Thanks for the feedback. It is both informative and useful. I need to take that onboard and take stock of how I can be of most assistance here and adapt my approach if it is not going to prove useful to people.


I understand that people have tried to sell us all sorts of approaches before (me too!), but if we tar everybody with the same brush then all we succeed in doing is chasing away people like myself even though I may genuinely have people's best interests in mind.

I think we actually agree on the underlying concept of expending more calories than we take in.

I have been trying to give people additional options and tools that will help them with how to do that.

I have to say that from my point of view, Jericho, it has felt like you have jumped on every posting I made. Right from the start, every post I made, you came in and told people that what I was saying was nonsense. Even though my intentions were good and the postings were genuinely made in the best interests of the people I was responding to. I have never tried to sell them anything and neither have I hidden what I do.

You say that it can be "reduced to" or it is "just" - what if it actually is the essence of everything?

How can I help you? What would you like to know about me?
 
WeightWizard

Asking people if they are ready to lose weight or to make 2011 their most successful year ever is self promoting. Basically you are saying that if they listen to you then they will lose weight or be successful in life.

- Firstly you know nothing of their current success so asking them if they want to be successful presumes they are not currently succeeding.

- Stating that you have the answers to make people lose weight or succeed in life is exceedingly arrogant and probably not true either.

- Saying you are so successful at getting people to lose weight and now want to pass on your knowledge to the whole world is somewhat over confident.

This is why your posts are not well received. I am a change specialist and your style and approach is generally not successful and certainly not one I would use.

It seems to me that you have read a lot of psyche books and adopted some of the principles but success lies in learning how to reach, motivate and encourage people.

People create their own success. As a change specialist I do not change anyone but I do listen and try and understand their position and help them think through how they can get where they believe they need to go. I do not tell them I have the answers - quite the opposite - I believe they have the answers and all I can do is support them.

Your posts are so high handed at times (while appearing to be humble and conceding) that I'm starting wonder if this is just trolling?
 
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