Do all guys check out other girls when they're dating someone?

Stefani said:
I posted those pictures so that I could get suggestions on how to lose the rest of my weight. I think that I look like a fucking piece of shit right now and really want to finally reach a point where I look good.
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Stefani said:
I am frustrated and disappointed by comments like these, because people are making fun of me; they know I'm chubby and they're just fucking around with me.
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Stefani said:
I doubt that anyone is "checking me out," because I'm still really fat and ugly.
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Stefani said:
I don't appreciate comments that say I "look good," because I know the people are being untruthful.
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Stefani said:
Why can't I be one of the hot girls?
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Stefani said:
I posted them on a forum, where I don't know anyone personally, because I expeced some nasty comments like "take the pics down fatty!" "you're burning my eyes!" "only plastic surgery can fix you!"
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You are either...

A) ...a huge attention whore who is looking for a self-absorbed ego boost by posting "poor me" type of comments that will result in canned responses that tell you how gorgeous you are, serving as a temporary self esteem induced orgasm for the evening.

OR

B) ...you are a liar.

My answer?

C) ...all of the above. Because, you are a liar and you are just saying those things (things you don't believe at all) in order to get people to tell you what you want to hear. And, even though you are claiming otherwise, you want to hear how gorgeous and sexy you are.

How do I know this?...

Stefani said:
I WANT to look good in a bikini, therefore I posted my progress pics in a bikini. Simple LOGIC.
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People who think they look gross in a bikini usually don't smile in the pictures they take of themselves in said bikini. Pictures, mind you, which they willingly posted on the internet for the whole entire world to see. Call me crazy, but if you really thought people would insult you and if you really think that you look gross in a bikini, you wouldn't be smiling in those pictures. You also wouldn't be wearing a bikini in those pictures. Oh yeah, and did I forget to mention...you also wouldn't have posted those pictures on the INTERNET?

If a person says one thing, but does another, it means that they are a liar. Simple LOGIC.

*EDIT - I just saw that you are looking to close your account. Gee, I wonder why? Maybe because you're not getting the attention that you're looking for? Hmm...why am I not surprised?

Reality - 1
Stefani's Make Believe World - 0
 
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I think you need some serious emotional help that people here are not qualified to give you. Anyone who has that distorted a body image and feels that much self loathing for themselves needs more help than an internet message board can give.

I also think that when someone is full of that much self-loathing, they cannot truly have a secure, trusting relationship that accepts the simple fact of biological attraction. You have to love yourself before you can truly love someone else.

Alternately, those who pointed out your smiling bikini shots are correct and you really are just looking for attention. I tend to agree if you really felt those things about yourself (that you were fat, ugly, disgusting, loathesome, etc.) you wouldn't be allowing people to take photos of you in any bikini, much less smiling and happy in them.
 
Stefani said:
Does no one have eyes just for you? Does every guy check out other girls when they have a perfectly good one already?

I thought that if I lost enough weight I would be hot enough that this wouldn't happen, but if I get the response I expect, every man out there checks out other girls. Guess that means I'm spending the rest of my life alone because I can't trust anyone.
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I don't think you'll spend the rest of your life alone. You'll find a great guy 1 day.
Not every guy has wandering eyes. But it is a two-way street. But no matter how hot you get he would still have a wandering eye, so he may not be the right guy for you. Find the guy that thinks your the most beautiful woman in the world.
Don't let him make you think your not worthy. You have a chance at life so be proud of who you are.
What I would do is find a hotter guy and make him jealous lol.
 
Deanna said:
Not every guy has wandering eyes. But it is a two-way street. But no matter how hot you get he would still have a wandering eye, so he may not be the right guy for you.
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Sooooo, which one is it? First, it's not every guy has wandering eyes. Then, it's guys will have wandering eyes no matter how hot their girlfriend is?

I'm cornfused.
 
ChefChiTown said:
Sooooo, which one is it? First, it's not every guy has wandering eyes. Then, it's guys will have wandering eyes no matter how hot their girlfriend is?

I'm cornfused.
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I was half asleep while typing that. But what I ment was

Not every guy has wandering eyes.--
And then I ment --That if her guy has wandering eyes then theres a high chance that no matter how hot she gets , he still wont change.
 
I agree with D. Some men are just like that I suppose. My husband once told me no matter if I was the hottest woman on earth...he'd still notice other woman...just the way men were designed he claims. While its a bit of a blow...at the same time, its his one real flaw. I guess I'd just accept that its the way it is....esp since my husband comes with so many positive traits.

The fact of the matter is....I look at men too. More like, celebrities that I really crush over, but I have noticed other men in "real life" before. I guess I feel like that is ok b/c i know how I feel...i know i'm mearly observing...where as with my husband, I don't know what he's thinking....but I need to give him credit...I"m sure its the same for him as well.
 
you seem to either have trust issues, or self worth issues. OR your bf is an assho1e..

theirs looking at people and checking them out. You can tell the difference, and he shouldnt be eye fkn another girl while out with you.

But I always stay aware of my surroundings and who is in my immediate area.. dunno just something I do, but I wont sit there and stare at another woman if im out with one.
 
Korrie said:
I agree with D. Some men are just like that I suppose. My husband once told me no matter if I was the hottest woman on earth...he'd still notice other woman...just the way men were designed he claims.
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That's the same excuse I gave my mom when she walked in on me masturbating by humping the opening of a milk bottle that was stuffed with raw liver.

"OH MY GOD!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!"
"MOM?!?!?!?! CLOSE THE DOOR!!!"
"What are you doing with that milk bottle?"
"It's not what you think!!!"
"Oh my...oh my God, is...is that...is that LIVER?"
"You wouldn't understand!!!"
"Why would you DO that? What in God's name would make you do such a thing?"
"Umm...it's how men are designed?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Soooo, what's for dinner?"
"...liver."

:laugh track:
:cheesy 80's sitcom music hits as the credits roll:
 
ChefChiTown said:
That's the same excuse I gave my mom when she walked in on me masturbating by humping the opening of a milk bottle that was stuffed with raw liver.

"OH MY GOD!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!"
"MOM?!?!?!?! CLOSE THE DOOR!!!"
"What are you doing with that milk bottle?"
"It's not what you think!!!"
"Oh my...oh my God, is...is that...is that LIVER?"
"You wouldn't understand!!!"
"Why would you DO that? What in God's name would make you do such a thing?"
"Umm...it's how men are designed?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Soooo, what's for dinner?"
"...liver."

:laugh track:
:cheesy 80's sitcom music hits as the credits roll:
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Your in a weird mood today huh?
 
ChefChiTown said:
That's the same excuse I gave my mom when she walked in on me masturbating by humping the opening of a milk bottle that was stuffed with raw liver.

"OH MY GOD!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!"
"MOM?!?!?!?! CLOSE THE DOOR!!!"
"What are you doing with that milk bottle?"
"It's not what you think!!!"
"Oh my...oh my God, is...is that...is that LIVER?"
"You wouldn't understand!!!"
"Why would you DO that? What in God's name would make you do such a thing?"
"Umm...it's how men are designed?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Soooo, what's for dinner?"
"...liver."

:laugh track:
:cheesy 80's sitcom music hits as the credits roll:
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wow....:puke:
If that was a true story then ... wow
 
I agree with Chef.

The only reason it bothers you is because your self esteem is so low. When you feel good about yourself, you could give a shit if he looks cause your feeling good and know your hot and he isnt going anywhere.

Men love that confidence.
 
Hi Stefani, well I'll tell you all what I know, since I'm a guy I do stare at girls~ which proves that the first-outside look is kind of important for guys, but just looking wouldn't do much, if you're with someone who stares that way, you can just point it out cause we guys love that kind of attention :p, and no you won't stay single forever, everyone's perfect match is out there, its just something we're not able to plan for up-front.

sorry for talking toomuch! hope you'll get what you seek.
 
my gf feels the same way as you do, Stefani. She doesn't understand how guys can look at other girls. I have a hard time not looking at other girls, but I also have a hard time not looking at other guys. But, as someone else said, I'm not "checking them out", I'm merely curious. I love people watching. The thought of getting with any of these girls is never even in my mind. I may give a longer look at beautiful women, but I also do with attractive guys ... we are naturally drawn to beautiful things and there is nothing wrong with admiring them.

You also have to remember that men are hardwired differently and you can not compare what you do with what men do otherwise you will never be happy. If we set out to find a women who isn't emotional, we'd all be single.

Edit: Chef is right. My g/f also has a bit of a self-esteem problem, but I tell her how beautiful she is and how much I love certain body parts, at least once-a-day and she is feeling more and more confident, as the days go by. She is less and less concerned with these little things because she knows that my thoughts are pure and that she is the one for me.
 
Ill be honest Stefani and tell you that any men I know do look at other women. If that makes you believe that you can never trust a man I would say that you have trust issues, a lot of women I have met are similar and it puts strain on relationships.

Remember we go to the cinema and watch beautiful actors all the time and the same with TV, you must be rational about this though and take it for what it is. If a man sees Pamela Anderson on baywatch and likes what he sees, realistically what do you think is going to come of that? Nothing.

Similarly if you are out walking down the street and the person you are with looks at another woman what harm have they done and why cant you trust them? Because they noticed someone? That is not really fair on the person you are with to be honest.

This issue has made me walk away from a relationship with a girl in the past so I feel pretty strongly about it. I didnt really notice it at first but as time went on and she got more and more comfortable with me she used to say "why were you looking at that girl" and half the time I hadnt even noticed another girl, it was all in her head. I am not that type of person who leers at women etc but I would refuse to wear blinkers as I walk down the street. She did go and see a therapist but unfortunately she was unable to resolve the thoughts in her head. Eventually we ended up going our separate ways after 3 years. I have spoken to her since and she has resigned herself to the fact that she just cant trust anyone, it is very unfortunate as she is a great girl and I never did or would have cheated on her.

My current girlfriend is very trusting but I sat down with her when we first started seeing each other and told her about how my life is, going away to Amsterdam for weekends with my friends etc, and told her that if she finds it hard to trust people it would be an issue. We have been together 3 years now and everything is fine.
 
Hmmmm.

Not all guys check out beautiful women. Their are a lot of guys who prefer to check out guys..... Which of course is okay with me too :)

To the OP, if that's you in the avatar (I assume it is) their is certainly no reason you should be worried about your man looking at other women.
No reason, that is, other than personal insecurity issues.
I don't mean this in a rude way, but in all seriousness, I think proffessional counseling could help you.

I went out with a girl once (lived with her, in fact) who was so insanely insecure / jellous, that if I looked in the direction of a good looking girl on TV, it was likely going to cause World War III !
And she was a good looking, well built, babe herself ! WTH was she worried about ? I dunno', but she never changed.

Anyway, all these years later, been single for the last 10+.... Heck, I'm not even looking for a girl friend..... But I certainly "look at" every fine one that passes by :) My eyes just enjoy that kind of thing. God's most beautiful creation :)

At the same time, I have never, and would never cheat on a girl, if I were in a serious relationship with her.

I sincerely hope you can work this issue out. It would have to be hell, living with insecurity.

Peace,
Fish
 
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