ChefChiTown's Rebirth: I'm Back, BABY!!! (In More Ways Than One)...
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ChefChiTown
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ChefChiTown
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I can't sleep.
Historically, I've always had a hard time finding sleep on Sunday nights. Why? I don't know. I can only assume it's because Monday morning is the start of a new week and I'm guessing my brain likes to prepare itself for the upcoming days ahead. For whatever reason, my mind wanders almost every single Sunday evening. They're not always bad thoughts that pop into my head, no...it's not always unpleasant...but, no matter the thoughts swimming around inside my head, they always prevent me from falling asleep.
Right now, it's nothing in particular that's keeping me up - more like an unfortunate mixture of stress, impatience, insecurity and fear that's getting in the way of my eyes closing peacefully. Stress? That's mostly from work. Family stuff too, but nothing unusual - family life is always stressful, so that's nothing new. Impatience? I won't get into that. Most of it is stuff I won't air out here on the forum, but some of it is impatience with my weight loss adventure. I know it doesn't happen overnight, but having a struggle with my weight for nearly half of my life leaves little patience remaining. And, my impatience with my weight is partly due to the fear I have of going to the gym tomorrow (and in future days ahead). Insecurity? I'm going to the gym again tomorrow. I'm insecure about my performance. I haven't been in a gym environment (excluding the other day) in YEARS. And, I know I'm not capable of doing what I used to be able to do...and that makes me insecure. I'm worried that I'll feel like a huge pussy when I try to lift weights and realize I'm a shell of my former self - a weaker version of the once physically dominating person that I used to be. The current version of myself is a fat, out of shape nobody who (physically) wants nothing more than to have the body of my former self. And, I know my performance at the gym tomorrow is going to be a harsh slap in the face by reality that's going to leave a mark - a mark that lets me know, "You aren't that person anymore." And, that makes me insecure, because it's going to hurt realizing I'm not physically who I used to be - that I'm not as strong, not as good.
Ironically, at the same time, I'm afraid of getting back to the "old me"(like I stated in an earlier post). I was a totally different person back then. Yes, I had the same core values, beliefs, blah blah blah - all the important stuff, the stuff that makes me "ME," is all the same - but my life as a whole was so different back then. And, I'm afraid that being "that guy" who goes to the gym and works out all the time is going to unleash a part of myself that has been caged up for a long, long time - the competitive spirit, the workhorse, the monster, the athlete...the baseball player.
Long story short - when I was a bit younger, I played baseball. I was good, very good, at the game. I was scouted by professional teams from the time I was in my early teens. Baseball was everything to me. Everything. I lived it, I breathed it, I played it, I loved it. It was everything.
I won't go into it, but I gave up playing which, for the rest of my life, will always be my biggest regret. Even though years have gone by, there is still a part of me that misses it. I've learned to accept that my dream is dead, but...I don't know...I guess there's still a small part of me, somewhere buried deep, deep inside, that still wants to chase after it. I honestly think that the only reason I haven't chased after it is because of my weight. And, I'm afraid that, once I start going to the gym and getting back into shape, my ability to accept the death of my lifelong dream is going to be weakened - and, I'm afraid that my desire to fight my way back onto the diamond is going to be strengthened.
See, when I was at the gym yesterday, I felt good. Like, GOOD. Baseball good. When I was on the treadmill and lifting weights, I pictured myself lacing up my cleats, slapping on my catcher's gear and jogging out onto the infield just like the good old days. I could almost feel myself "in the game." Hell, I could almost smell the dirt of the field in that gym. And, that's what scares the shit out of me.
It's only going to get harder to fight. And, I'm afraid that, once I get to a certain point, I won't be able to fight it anymore. I'm scared the gym is going to unleash a part of my past that just can't live in the present. I'm too old to even THINK about getting back on the field. Yet, in the gym, that's all I could think about...baseball. I miss it. I thought I was over it, but...I'm not. And, I don't know if I can get back into shape and not want to step back onto the field. I don't know how to deal with that. How can you let a monster out of its cage and expect it to not destroy everything in its path to get what it wants?
SIGH, I don't know. I have so many regrets in life, but quitting baseball is, by far, the biggest one I will ever have.
I just hope I can figure out how to balance getting in shape with taming my desire to play again.
Historically, I've always had a hard time finding sleep on Sunday nights. Why? I don't know. I can only assume it's because Monday morning is the start of a new week and I'm guessing my brain likes to prepare itself for the upcoming days ahead. For whatever reason, my mind wanders almost every single Sunday evening. They're not always bad thoughts that pop into my head, no...it's not always unpleasant...but, no matter the thoughts swimming around inside my head, they always prevent me from falling asleep.
Right now, it's nothing in particular that's keeping me up - more like an unfortunate mixture of stress, impatience, insecurity and fear that's getting in the way of my eyes closing peacefully. Stress? That's mostly from work. Family stuff too, but nothing unusual - family life is always stressful, so that's nothing new. Impatience? I won't get into that. Most of it is stuff I won't air out here on the forum, but some of it is impatience with my weight loss adventure. I know it doesn't happen overnight, but having a struggle with my weight for nearly half of my life leaves little patience remaining. And, my impatience with my weight is partly due to the fear I have of going to the gym tomorrow (and in future days ahead). Insecurity? I'm going to the gym again tomorrow. I'm insecure about my performance. I haven't been in a gym environment (excluding the other day) in YEARS. And, I know I'm not capable of doing what I used to be able to do...and that makes me insecure. I'm worried that I'll feel like a huge pussy when I try to lift weights and realize I'm a shell of my former self - a weaker version of the once physically dominating person that I used to be. The current version of myself is a fat, out of shape nobody who (physically) wants nothing more than to have the body of my former self. And, I know my performance at the gym tomorrow is going to be a harsh slap in the face by reality that's going to leave a mark - a mark that lets me know, "You aren't that person anymore." And, that makes me insecure, because it's going to hurt realizing I'm not physically who I used to be - that I'm not as strong, not as good.
Ironically, at the same time, I'm afraid of getting back to the "old me"(like I stated in an earlier post). I was a totally different person back then. Yes, I had the same core values, beliefs, blah blah blah - all the important stuff, the stuff that makes me "ME," is all the same - but my life as a whole was so different back then. And, I'm afraid that being "that guy" who goes to the gym and works out all the time is going to unleash a part of myself that has been caged up for a long, long time - the competitive spirit, the workhorse, the monster, the athlete...the baseball player.
Long story short - when I was a bit younger, I played baseball. I was good, very good, at the game. I was scouted by professional teams from the time I was in my early teens. Baseball was everything to me. Everything. I lived it, I breathed it, I played it, I loved it. It was everything.
I won't go into it, but I gave up playing which, for the rest of my life, will always be my biggest regret. Even though years have gone by, there is still a part of me that misses it. I've learned to accept that my dream is dead, but...I don't know...I guess there's still a small part of me, somewhere buried deep, deep inside, that still wants to chase after it. I honestly think that the only reason I haven't chased after it is because of my weight. And, I'm afraid that, once I start going to the gym and getting back into shape, my ability to accept the death of my lifelong dream is going to be weakened - and, I'm afraid that my desire to fight my way back onto the diamond is going to be strengthened.
See, when I was at the gym yesterday, I felt good. Like, GOOD. Baseball good. When I was on the treadmill and lifting weights, I pictured myself lacing up my cleats, slapping on my catcher's gear and jogging out onto the infield just like the good old days. I could almost feel myself "in the game." Hell, I could almost smell the dirt of the field in that gym. And, that's what scares the shit out of me.
It's only going to get harder to fight. And, I'm afraid that, once I get to a certain point, I won't be able to fight it anymore. I'm scared the gym is going to unleash a part of my past that just can't live in the present. I'm too old to even THINK about getting back on the field. Yet, in the gym, that's all I could think about...baseball. I miss it. I thought I was over it, but...I'm not. And, I don't know if I can get back into shape and not want to step back onto the field. I don't know how to deal with that. How can you let a monster out of its cage and expect it to not destroy everything in its path to get what it wants?
SIGH, I don't know. I have so many regrets in life, but quitting baseball is, by far, the biggest one I will ever have.
I just hope I can figure out how to balance getting in shape with taming my desire to play again.
GreenSurf
New member
Great post, Chef. I played baseball too until age 15. Since then, I've tried playing softball a few times. It's not quite the same in a lot of different ways, but maybe the competitive aspect of it could be somewhat close? Anyway, I say get out there and play something, and kick some donkey.
ChefChiTown
New member
I went to the gym today and gave my legs a pretty good workout. There were a few younger guys, maybe in their 20's, walking around in cut-off sleeve t-shirts, lifting weights and showing off their guns (so to speak), so that raised my insecurity a little bit. But, I got over it. They might have more muscle tone than I do, but I know that I'm the one with more heart. So, they can suck it.
Anyway, I ran on the treadmill for 10 minutes, rode the bike thingy for 15 minutes, did some leg presses, quad extensions, hamstring curls and a few other leg exercises. I started to do an upper body workout, but I was just too tired to really get into it tonight. So, I'll probably get in a good upper body workout Wednesday and Friday this week.
One new thing I'm trying is protein bars. Anybody had any experience with these? Or any sort of protein supplement, like powder or whatever? I'm trying to be as big of a douche bag as possible - it is my ultimate goal to be "that guy" at the gym - you know, THAT guy? - the guy that wears shorts that are waaaaay too tight and revealing, sports a bright ass neon colored tank top, constantly has gel in his hair (even though he's working out?), eats nothing but protein bars and drinks nothing but Muscle Milk? And, flexes in the mirror and checks himself out...even while he's at the GYM? Yeah, I wanna be THAT guy, bro-ham. LET'S GET JACKED, YEEEEEEAH!!! WOOOOOOOO!!! U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!!!
But seriously, anybody get involved with protein bars and stuff? If so, let me know what worked best for you. I figured I would eat one every day before I went to the gym, maybe have another one when I was done. You know, because I don't know what I'm doing and I figured I would just go with what sounded the best. So, yeah. I got THAT going for me.
Yeah, softball can't compare. There's nothing that can replace the feeling of blocking a poorly thrown slider that bounces wildly in the dirt - shoulders hunched forward, chest caved in, legs spread outward just a little, glove between your knees - a solid wall - perfectly deflecting the wild pitch so it lands gently in front of you, preventing that speedy asshole on first from trying to steal second base. Ahh...memories.
I do think I should do SOMETHING though. It would probably help get a little of that competitive spirit under control.
Anyway, I ran on the treadmill for 10 minutes, rode the bike thingy for 15 minutes, did some leg presses, quad extensions, hamstring curls and a few other leg exercises. I started to do an upper body workout, but I was just too tired to really get into it tonight. So, I'll probably get in a good upper body workout Wednesday and Friday this week.
One new thing I'm trying is protein bars. Anybody had any experience with these? Or any sort of protein supplement, like powder or whatever? I'm trying to be as big of a douche bag as possible - it is my ultimate goal to be "that guy" at the gym - you know, THAT guy? - the guy that wears shorts that are waaaaay too tight and revealing, sports a bright ass neon colored tank top, constantly has gel in his hair (even though he's working out?), eats nothing but protein bars and drinks nothing but Muscle Milk? And, flexes in the mirror and checks himself out...even while he's at the GYM? Yeah, I wanna be THAT guy, bro-ham. LET'S GET JACKED, YEEEEEEAH!!! WOOOOOOOO!!! U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!!!
But seriously, anybody get involved with protein bars and stuff? If so, let me know what worked best for you. I figured I would eat one every day before I went to the gym, maybe have another one when I was done. You know, because I don't know what I'm doing and I figured I would just go with what sounded the best. So, yeah. I got THAT going for me.
Yeah, softball can't compare. There's nothing that can replace the feeling of blocking a poorly thrown slider that bounces wildly in the dirt - shoulders hunched forward, chest caved in, legs spread outward just a little, glove between your knees - a solid wall - perfectly deflecting the wild pitch so it lands gently in front of you, preventing that speedy asshole on first from trying to steal second base. Ahh...memories.
I do think I should do SOMETHING though. It would probably help get a little of that competitive spirit under control.
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ChefChiTown
New member
MrVee
New member
I tend to have trouble sleeping on days that end in 'y'.
Protein bars? It depends on what you mean. I really don't see much purpose to them as a dietary supplement. If you eat meat and dairy, getting to 0.5 to 0.7g per pound of desired body weight shouldn't be that hard at all. That said, I get 140 calories for dessert every night, and if you think one of those chocolate covered protein bars they have in the cereal section are tasty, they make a decent dessert as they have at least _some_ nutritional benefit even if not much.
As for baseball, I definitely want to start playing again and I happen to live in one of the baseball capitols of the world. Problem is finding the right league is key, because I don't want to be at the plate and look out at the pitcher and say, "damn, didn't that guy used to pitch for the A's?" I do wonder my own pitching arm would feel like these days...
Protein bars? It depends on what you mean. I really don't see much purpose to them as a dietary supplement. If you eat meat and dairy, getting to 0.5 to 0.7g per pound of desired body weight shouldn't be that hard at all. That said, I get 140 calories for dessert every night, and if you think one of those chocolate covered protein bars they have in the cereal section are tasty, they make a decent dessert as they have at least _some_ nutritional benefit even if not much.
As for baseball, I definitely want to start playing again and I happen to live in one of the baseball capitols of the world. Problem is finding the right league is key, because I don't want to be at the plate and look out at the pitcher and say, "damn, didn't that guy used to pitch for the A's?" I do wonder my own pitching arm would feel like these days...
ChefChiTown
New member
My cousin was pretty good at baseball and he ended up joining a league "just for fun" (or so he said, anyway) a few years after he graduated high school - little did he know, it was full of players that were on AAA and AA ball clubs. So, needless to say, it wasn't much "fun" for him.
I haven't played in a good 15 years, so if I was ever to join a league at some point, I'd deeeeefinitely be looking for one that wasn't full of minor leaguers. Middle school kids would be preferred. I know I can still play against them.
Man, I loved reading all your posts. You are definitely a funny guy, made me laugh just about every time! I hope the sleep apnea gets better for you. That is absolutely awful. That is so cool that you and jen can all of this together. It's so wonderful to have a partner that will go through all of this with you. Oh, and btw, what would be so bad about getting into baseball again? Is it just because it brings the competitive side out of you again? The bread still looks pretty good to eat, too.
ChefChiTown
New member
I didn't post my official weigh-in from yesterday, so here goes...
245.2 lbs, which is .6 lbs down from last week. Not a big difference, but hey...a loss is a loss. I blame the tinyness of my weight loss this week on the fact that I've been going to the gym and I am getting like SUPER huge. I mean, I've gone like four times already, so...yeah...I'm pretty buff.
Anyway, on a serious note, I do feel different after going to the gym for the past week. I'm not in shape yet by anyone's standard, but I can definitely tell I'm on the right track. Am I sore? Yes. Does my body hate me right now? You're God damned right it does. But, is it worth it? No. Not yet. It fucking sucks right now. But, my mentality feels better. I feel some confidence building inside of me and that makes me happy. And, I know that, given some more time, that confidence will turn me into a better person with a better, healthier body - one that will make Jen be like, "DAAAAAMN!!! I get to sleep with HIM?!?!?! SWEEEEEET!!!" Yeeeeeah...that kind of body.
245.2 lbs, which is .6 lbs down from last week. Not a big difference, but hey...a loss is a loss. I blame the tinyness of my weight loss this week on the fact that I've been going to the gym and I am getting like SUPER huge. I mean, I've gone like four times already, so...yeah...I'm pretty buff.
Anyway, on a serious note, I do feel different after going to the gym for the past week. I'm not in shape yet by anyone's standard, but I can definitely tell I'm on the right track. Am I sore? Yes. Does my body hate me right now? You're God damned right it does. But, is it worth it? No. Not yet. It fucking sucks right now. But, my mentality feels better. I feel some confidence building inside of me and that makes me happy. And, I know that, given some more time, that confidence will turn me into a better person with a better, healthier body - one that will make Jen be like, "DAAAAAMN!!! I get to sleep with HIM?!?!?! SWEEEEEET!!!" Yeeeeeah...that kind of body.
ChefChiTown
New member
What's so bad about getting into baseball again? I don't know. Realizing I'm not the young stud I used to be? I don't know. I mean, I'd love to get back into baseball, but I'd just have to learn to accept a coaching role instead of a playing one. Being 32 years old makes me an old man in the game of baseball, so it'd be a damn miracle for me to actually get back on the field. Not that I would mind coaching - in fact, I've always wanted to. I guess I was always hopeful I'd play some more before I took a shot at coaching a team.
Anyway, thanks for stopping by. And, yeah...the bread was pretty good. Not bad for a first attempt. But, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. After all, I am a chef, HAHAHA...it'd be kind of sad if I couldn't even make a simple loaf of bread, huh?
ChefChiTown
New member
So, I go to the gym last night after work and I realized I must be getting pretty buff and awesome looking because I had a little high schooler eye-humping me. Oh yeah, I'm getting super crazy good looking. Mmm hmm. Yeah, HE couldn't take his eyes off of me.
No, he wasn't really checking me out, but he was staring at me like I had a dick drawn on my face. I'm pretty sure he was just watching me use the equipment, trying to figure out how to use each machine. He wasn't really dressed "for the gym," so I'm assuming he didn't really know exactly what he was doing. He was wearing khaki cargo shorts, calf-high socks, some sort of boot-like shoe...yeah, not really gym material. But, hey...I give him credit for being there. I don't know what his motivation was, but I give him credit for showing up and at least trying to accomplish his objective. I wouldn't have gone to a neighborhood gym BY MYSELF while I was still in high school.
Once I realized what he was doing, I kiiiiind of wanted to go up to him and offer to show him how to use each machine and what they were for...but then I was like, "Nooooo, he'll probably take that as a sign that I want to be his gym buddy or some shit and leech onto me like a...well...a leech." So, I just ignored him and allowed him to be the creepy kid who stared at people working out.
OH, there were also two girls in there giving each other massages on the hamstring curl machine. I'm not sure they knew I was able to see them though. You know, it's not like they were doing it in the MIDDLE OF A PUBLIC GYM or anything.
Anyway, I've already noticed a difference in myself since I've been going to the gym. I'm not as exhausted when I'm done working out and I'm taking that as a sign that my endurance is improving. When I run on the treadmill, I can run for a few minutes longer without gasping for air like I had a plastic bag pulled over my face. Seriously, when I first started last week, I felt like a wheezing pig when I ran. I've never been a good runner before - I can sprint fairly fast for my size, but long-distance runs are not my friend. So, I get out of breath like riiiiight after I start jogging. I know it will improve over time, but I wish I could just open up my airway somehow to get some air into my lungs. I KIIIIIND OF want to put on my CPAP mask when I use the treadmill just to see if it helps me breath better, HAHAHAHA (for those of you who don't know, a CPAP mask is for people with sleep apnea - it pressurizes your airway by pushing air into your body - through your nose or mouth, or both, depending on the type of mask you have - which allows you to breath while you sleep - sleep apnea is a condition which prevents people from breathing while they sleep due to an obstructed, narrow or closed airway).
And, if you've never seen one, this is what a CPAP mask looks like (well, mine anyway)...
View attachment 21793
No, he wasn't really checking me out, but he was staring at me like I had a dick drawn on my face. I'm pretty sure he was just watching me use the equipment, trying to figure out how to use each machine. He wasn't really dressed "for the gym," so I'm assuming he didn't really know exactly what he was doing. He was wearing khaki cargo shorts, calf-high socks, some sort of boot-like shoe...yeah, not really gym material. But, hey...I give him credit for being there. I don't know what his motivation was, but I give him credit for showing up and at least trying to accomplish his objective. I wouldn't have gone to a neighborhood gym BY MYSELF while I was still in high school.
Once I realized what he was doing, I kiiiiind of wanted to go up to him and offer to show him how to use each machine and what they were for...but then I was like, "Nooooo, he'll probably take that as a sign that I want to be his gym buddy or some shit and leech onto me like a...well...a leech." So, I just ignored him and allowed him to be the creepy kid who stared at people working out.
OH, there were also two girls in there giving each other massages on the hamstring curl machine. I'm not sure they knew I was able to see them though. You know, it's not like they were doing it in the MIDDLE OF A PUBLIC GYM or anything.
Anyway, I've already noticed a difference in myself since I've been going to the gym. I'm not as exhausted when I'm done working out and I'm taking that as a sign that my endurance is improving. When I run on the treadmill, I can run for a few minutes longer without gasping for air like I had a plastic bag pulled over my face. Seriously, when I first started last week, I felt like a wheezing pig when I ran. I've never been a good runner before - I can sprint fairly fast for my size, but long-distance runs are not my friend. So, I get out of breath like riiiiight after I start jogging. I know it will improve over time, but I wish I could just open up my airway somehow to get some air into my lungs. I KIIIIIND OF want to put on my CPAP mask when I use the treadmill just to see if it helps me breath better, HAHAHAHA (for those of you who don't know, a CPAP mask is for people with sleep apnea - it pressurizes your airway by pushing air into your body - through your nose or mouth, or both, depending on the type of mask you have - which allows you to breath while you sleep - sleep apnea is a condition which prevents people from breathing while they sleep due to an obstructed, narrow or closed airway).
And, if you've never seen one, this is what a CPAP mask looks like (well, mine anyway)...
View attachment 21793
Hahaha, you got me until you said HE couldn't take his eyes off of you. Good job on your endurance improvement!
jen_renee
New member
Christine and I do that ALL the time. When you need a massage, you need a massage!
Quercus
New member
Good work on the endurance. I suggest that if you wear the cpap to run that you include a flight helmet. That kid will never stop staring then.
You: Hey kid!
Kid: Yeah?
You:
View attachment 21797
You: Hey kid!
Kid: Yeah?
You:
View attachment 21797
ChefChiTown
New member
HAHAHAHA, oh shit, that just made my day.
ChefChiTown
New member
I went to the gym tonight and I ran for 7 straight minutes without stopping. And, after that 7 minutes, I stopped more to rest my legs than my lungs. Don't get me wrong, I was breathing hard, but I wasn't exhausted...I just chose to run at the end of my workout, so my legs were pretty tired.
And, they were tired because the animal is coming back. When I started going to the gym about two weeks ago, I attempted 400 lbs on the leg press machine - I did it, but I paid for it. Well, tonight, I did 400 lbs...for my first set. I started with 8 reps of 400, then 420, then 440, then 470. And, my legs weren't dead when I was done. In fact, I felt alive...I felt a touch of the animal I used to be. And, you know what? I'm not going to try and keep it tamed anymore. If I've learned one thing in life, it's that the animal inside of me never fails. I don't know why I've been hiding it for so long. Fear of success, maybe? I don't know. But, I'm letting it out of its cage.
Time to make this world my prey.
And, they were tired because the animal is coming back. When I started going to the gym about two weeks ago, I attempted 400 lbs on the leg press machine - I did it, but I paid for it. Well, tonight, I did 400 lbs...for my first set. I started with 8 reps of 400, then 420, then 440, then 470. And, my legs weren't dead when I was done. In fact, I felt alive...I felt a touch of the animal I used to be. And, you know what? I'm not going to try and keep it tamed anymore. If I've learned one thing in life, it's that the animal inside of me never fails. I don't know why I've been hiding it for so long. Fear of success, maybe? I don't know. But, I'm letting it out of its cage.
Time to make this world my prey.
ChefChiTown
New member
So, yesterday was a bad day. I won't go into the details, but after work, I left in a very angry and bitter mood. I was planning on going to the gym anyway, but after the day I had yesterday, my mood changed from "I'm going to the gym so I can get in a good workout" to "I'm going to the gym to unleash all of this pent up rage." So, I went to the gym, blew off A LOT of steam, came home, had some drinks, relaxed and murdered a whole bunch of shit in God of War (a video game). Did that make my anger go away? No. It never does. But, it helps me reflect on my emotions and betters my ability to find peace. And, although I have not found peace with the anger that boils inside, I have found something else - something more important.
Forgiveness.
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
- Mahatma Gandhi
As I said in my previous post, I am uncaging the animal within and letting it take this world as its prey. My inner-beast is strong...and so I am. I am strong. I forgive. All of life's "yesterdays" are over. Today is a new day and I am starting over. I forgive.
With that being said, today is Jen's son's birthday party. So, I'm going to go help Jen set up for the party and then watch him tear open his presents. He's a Lego kid, so we found this big ass storage container that he is going to LOVE (well, hopefully, HAHAHAHA). See, he doesn't really care about the building block Legos so much...he just cares about "the guys" (aka - the minifigures)...
View attachment 21801
Seriously, he will build a tiny, minimalistic car using like 6 Legos and then put like 8 guys on it. That's all he does; he puts as many guys as he can fit on EEEEEVERYTHING. So, we found the PERFECT gift for him...
View attachment 21802
But, watch...he'll open it up and not care about it, but open some piece of shit $2 gift that someone bought as a last-minute "I just need something small and stupid" type of gift and he'll be like, "YEEEEEEAH!!!" HAHAHA, SIGH...kids.
Forgiveness.
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
- Mahatma Gandhi
As I said in my previous post, I am uncaging the animal within and letting it take this world as its prey. My inner-beast is strong...and so I am. I am strong. I forgive. All of life's "yesterdays" are over. Today is a new day and I am starting over. I forgive.
With that being said, today is Jen's son's birthday party. So, I'm going to go help Jen set up for the party and then watch him tear open his presents. He's a Lego kid, so we found this big ass storage container that he is going to LOVE (well, hopefully, HAHAHAHA). See, he doesn't really care about the building block Legos so much...he just cares about "the guys" (aka - the minifigures)...
View attachment 21801
Seriously, he will build a tiny, minimalistic car using like 6 Legos and then put like 8 guys on it. That's all he does; he puts as many guys as he can fit on EEEEEVERYTHING. So, we found the PERFECT gift for him...
View attachment 21802
But, watch...he'll open it up and not care about it, but open some piece of shit $2 gift that someone bought as a last-minute "I just need something small and stupid" type of gift and he'll be like, "YEEEEEEAH!!!" HAHAHA, SIGH...kids.
ChefChiTown
New member
Well, it's official...I have a month membership to the gym. So, now that I'm all paid up, I HAVE to go to the gym. If I don't, then I'm just throwing money out the window. So, I have to go regularly for the month. And, before you even open your mouth Quercus, I know there's only 3 days left in this month...the month I'm talking about is March.
Anyway, I'm pretty excited. Going to the gym is definitely changing me. For the better. I just feel more confident and energized on a near daily basis, so I'm pretty happy about that. In fact, I was so happy and felt so good after the gym today, I came home, cut my hair and cleaned myself up to look all pretty. And, I got to do it in a freshly cleaned bathroom, thanks to my lovely girlfriend, Jen. Thank you, honey. It's going to be nice pooping in the clean toilet later. There's nothing like the feeling of painting the first brush stroke on a blank canvas, you know?
ANYWHO...I like the gym. Maybe not the meathead dudes that go there so much, but the feeling I get from a good workout is something I'm glad I'm experiencing.
Anyway, I'm pretty excited. Going to the gym is definitely changing me. For the better. I just feel more confident and energized on a near daily basis, so I'm pretty happy about that. In fact, I was so happy and felt so good after the gym today, I came home, cut my hair and cleaned myself up to look all pretty. And, I got to do it in a freshly cleaned bathroom, thanks to my lovely girlfriend, Jen. Thank you, honey. It's going to be nice pooping in the clean toilet later. There's nothing like the feeling of painting the first brush stroke on a blank canvas, you know?
ANYWHO...I like the gym. Maybe not the meathead dudes that go there so much, but the feeling I get from a good workout is something I'm glad I'm experiencing.
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