ChefChiTown's Rebirth: I'm Back, BABY!!! (In More Ways Than One)...

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Congrats on the deep thoughts and the treadmill!

You like some weird tunes and I mean that as a sincere complement. For late 70s weirdness I'm more of an Ian Drury and the Blockheads type than ELO, but "Diary of Horace Wimp" can hold its own with "Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll" in my opinion. Of course S&D&R&R is more of a contemplate on career choice and general approach to life and freedom while Mr. Wimp is more geared towards relationships and human interactions.

"..a fat clown using pool noodles as stilts" is as colorful and amusing means of self-depreciation as you can get. Nice!
 
jen_renee said:
I think I can remember that, honey. :)

Good job on the exercise. I'm proud of you!
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Thank you, honey :)

And you'd BETTER remember that!!! :cuss:

Quercus said:
Congrats on the deep thoughts and the treadmill!

You like some weird tunes and I mean that as a sincere complement. For late 70s weirdness I'm more of an Ian Drury and the Blockheads type than ELO, but "Diary of Horace Wimp" can hold its own with "Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll" in my opinion. Of course S&D&R&R is more of a contemplate on career choice and general approach to life and freedom while Mr. Wimp is more geared towards relationships and human interactions.

"..a fat clown using pool noodles as stilts" is as colorful and amusing means of self-depreciation as you can get. Nice!
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Oh, you have no idea how weird/eclectic my taste in music really is. I like pretty much everything. From Frank Sinatra to Def Leppard to Eric Clapton to The Traveling Wilburys to Robert Randolph & The Family Band to Ella Fitzgerald to Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show to Woody Guthrie to Killswitch Engage to Ice Cube to Miles Davis to Rancid to pretty much everything...I listen to it all.

My dad got me into a bunch of 70's stuff when I was a kid though. I don't really remember a time where ELO, the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, the Kinks, the Eagles or Simon & Garfunkel (among many others) wasn't playing in the background when we spent time together. To this day, I can't find any better music than from that entire era. Yeah, some of the newer stuff that comes out is ok, but nothing will ever be as good as The Who - Pinball Wizard, Grandfunk Railroad - Take Me, Marshall Tucker - Can't You See or Steely Dan - Kid Charlemagne (once again, among many others).
 
Your post about your fears really resonated with me. I might get some of my own off of my chest in my journal.

Nice music taste!
 
Well if you're worried about becoming too attractive, you can dress like the guys in ELO and that will take care of it.

Seriously, I get where you're coming from though. My biggest adjustment from being 375 pounds to the 200 pounds I am now is having to care. There's a great attractiveness to apathy. When nothing matters, a lot of life's daily pressures fall by the wayside. Obviously at some point I did start to care because otherwise why did I do this. But most of the time it was a pressure free lifestyle.

Now I gotta be on match.com, I gotta have nicer clothes, I'm thinking maybe I should upgrade my car, try and maybe advance a bit in my career. And with all that comes the resulting pressures of actually trying again. It's great overall, but it's an obstacle I didn't have to deal with before...

...of course now I can fly in an airplane and a 1000 other things.
 
MrVee said:
Well if you're worried about becoming too attractive, you can dress like the guys in ELO and that will take care of it.

Seriously, I get where you're coming from though. My biggest adjustment from being 375 pounds to the 200 pounds I am now is having to care. There's a great attractiveness to apathy. When nothing matters, a lot of life's daily pressures fall by the wayside. Obviously at some point I did start to care because otherwise why did I do this. But most of the time it was a pressure free lifestyle.

Now I gotta be on match.com, I gotta have nicer clothes, I'm thinking maybe I should upgrade my car, try and maybe advance a bit in my career. And with all that comes the resulting pressures of actually trying again. It's great overall, but it's an obstacle I didn't have to deal with before...

...of course now I can fly in an airplane and a 1000 other things.
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I guess that's from where some of my fear originates - the fear of having a societal standard to which I have to meet. Once I get down to my goal weight and start looking better, no longer will it be acceptable for me to wear pajama pants to the grocery store, have stains on my shirts, walk around in dirty ass sneakers or go unshaven for days on end (at least my neck anyway - beards are ok, but not neck beards). I mean, how embarrassing for Jen to have to be with a guy like that. But, as long as I've been fat, I could 'get away with it' - nobody would really care - but once I lose my fat, people will start to whisper. And, whisper they will.

"Look at that guy. Does he even own a razor?"
"Did you see that chump? Who does he think he is, wearing zubaz pants to the gas station?"
"Oh gross, did that guy just wipe barbecue sauce off the belly of his t-shirt and then lick his finger clean? GROSS!!!"

Yeah, I can't do that to Jen. I mean, it would be HILARIOUS...but, no...can't do it.
 
Thanks for sharing some of your thoughts. Your fear part definitely hit me too. I just Cory's diary and I think we're the same person. LOL I think we all start to loathe ourselves at some point when we get larger. I remember when I was at my peak weight I knew I didn't stand a chance of attracting any guy so why bother doing this or why should I bother going there, etc. My life was what it was. I went to work, I went home, and I ate to comfort myself. Then my health became an issue and that's when I knew I had to make changes. I like we're I'm going, but I'm scare of where it's going to get me too. I've been an independent, single person for so long. Would I ever even be able to relate to a guy? Ugh... such a scary, scary future, but bright and exciting at the same time if that makes sense.

Anyway, good job on the treadmill. I'll never forget how my legs felt after my first trip on the treads. LOL Oh, it was hilarious! I spend a lot of time on the ocean so I have good sea legs, but man did it feel weird.
 
Your music tastes sound a little like mine :) My dad raised me on all that good shit.

I understand you're fears as well. I perversely enjoy being the fat friend as it means I only take 5 mins to get ready, get to play wing man for everyone else on nights out, generally get told more of the gossip but keep out of the OMG WHO SLEPT WITH WHO drama, get to eat giant meals when we go out for meals because people expect me to, get to be known as "the funny one" and no one is threatened by me. Quite a good deal for me!

I suppose "improving" in one area of your life then spills out into the rest of your life, like Vee says. Tis a tricky one.
 
I weigh myself every Monday morning (as I use Monday as my personal, "official" weigh-in day) and I didn't think I would do too good this week (even though I ate well and exercised), but I was pleasantly surprised.

I'm down to 245.2 lbs, which means I lost 4.1 lbs this week. In total, since I've gotten back on track, I've dropped 12.8 lbs. It's so weird though because, even though I KNOW I lost all that weight, I still don't believe it. Yes, I can see a difference on my face and in my body, but I don't really feel it yet. Sure, I feel a little more energetic and stuff, but I don't feel smaller I guess. Eh, oh well...I'm sure that will come in due time.
 
So, Jen and I did our new pilates video a little earlier. It's pretty good. It's slow enough for beginners (like us) to be able to keep up pace, but it's fast-paced enough to where the workout goes by fairly quick. I like it. I'll tell you what though, I can definitely say that, although pilates is hard, I can already feel difference. The first time we did pilates, I could NOT do the roll-ups. They were literally impossible. No. Uh uh, ain't happenin'...can't do it. But, after only 3 sessions of pilates, I was able to do them...and quite easily too.

For those of you who don't know what roll-ups are, here...

[video=youtube;FZNwIJ03fhQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZNwIJ03fhQ[/video]

They look easy, but trust me...they are HARD. You have to use your abdominal and back muscles ONLY in order to do them, which makes it really hard. And, for someone like me (with a soft core) they are very hard.

Anyway, I also got on the treadmill for an hour. I'm going to make the treadmill a Monday, Wednesday, Friday thing. I figured that doing it 3 times a week is good. I mean, I work as a chef so I'm on my feet all day. That's exercise, right? Right. Plus, Jen and I are doing pilates together 3 times a week too. Yeah, we're pretty awesome.
 
I LOVE the roll-ups. I'm doing a pilates class tomorrow night and am so looking forward to it. :D
 
You and Jen certainly sound like a great team! Great job on the weight loss so far. And, I also look forward to cheat days. No shame in that at all! :D
 
MandyH said:
You and Jen certainly sound like a great team! Great job on the weight loss so far. And, I also look forward to cheat days. No shame in that at all! :D
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Neither of us has had a cheat day in nearly 3 weeks. We are literally fighting with each other constantly, always in a bad mood, we've been repeatedly cranky with each other...it just sucks. I mean, I'm super proud of how well we're doing (especially her - she's been doing amazing), but sometimes I wonder...is it worth it? HAHAHA

I just want to eat like a fucking pig and be happy for a night. Jen and I were just talking about this actually. Maybe there's a reason fat people are known as "jolly" - because when you try to lose weight and don't eat a lot, you become a cranky asshole, HAHAHAHA
 
I think that's interesting. I don't get too cranky without cheat days. It makes me feel good to know I'm making good choices.
 
Haha... Yes, I have been that cranky asshole while trying to eat only half the amount of calories I'd gotten used to eating! But congrats on the 4+ pounds this week! That's awesome about pilates; it's a seriously tough workout. Haven't figured out how to make the scissor kicks work for me, where you make your legs go across each other -- not very compatible with the family jewels.
 
GreenSurf said:
Haha... Yes, I have been that cranky asshole while trying to eat only half the amount of calories I'd gotten used to eating! But congrats on the 4+ pounds this week! That's awesome about pilates; it's a seriously tough workout. Haven't figured out how to make the scissor kicks work for me, where you make your legs go across each other -- not very compatible with the family jewels.
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I haven't gotten to scissor kicks yet, but I know what you mean. Some movements just aren't comfortable when you live with a Christmas ornament that can never be taken down.
 
Hmmm... jolly and fat... never would've made the connection, but yes it is much easier and much more enjoyable to be able to eat whatever the heck you want. Unfortunately, our bodies won't let that go unnoticed. *sigh*

ChefChiTown said:
I haven't gotten to scissor kicks yet, but I know what you mean. Some movements just aren't comfortable when you live with a Christmas ornament that can never be taken down.
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Now I know how you guys must feel when us girls post about our TOM. LOL!!
 
So, for the first time in three weeks, I'm having a little bit of a cheat "night" tomorrow. I can't tell you how excited I am. I haven't gone three weeks without a cheat in...well...ever, HAHAHA...and I'm losing my God damned mind. Jen and I have been cranky as shit with each other for a while now and we're quite certain it's because we haven't had a night "off" in a really long time, so we haven't had the ability to relieve stress through poor eating and drinking choices. Well, that all ends tomorrow night for me. I'm not so sure about her though. Either way, I'm taking the night off tomorrow and enjoying myself. I need it. And, in all honesty, I deserve it. I've done really good for three weeks - I can afford to cheat a little bit and enjoy myself for a while.

Oh, and on a side note, Jen and I have gotten insanely good at figuring out who people look like. We can look at celebrities or people on TV and go, "OOOOH, they look like this person and that person had a baby." And, we're ALWAYS right. Seriously, we're scary good at it. For instance, on one of our favorite shows (The Blacklist) we figured out that the character Donald Ressler (played by actor Diego Klattenhoff)...

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...looks like Willie Geist (Today Show) and Damian Lewis (Homeland, Band of Brothers, etc) had a baby.

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See? We're pretty awesome :cool:
 
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