Cate's Diary

Thanks, M. I'm glad G stood up for his friend too. It's a relief that I have managed to flip that switch. I now remember how I "dieted" strictly for 6 whole months. I'll enjoy lunch I think as I don't think I will be putting up with the ones I don't like in the future. I can't imagine going back on a regular basis playing with the women, but I may rejoin next year. I am too scared to attempt to even hit a golf ball as I don't want to risk not being able to walk. I would much rather walk Archie than play golf. Twisting is the worst thing. With G back at our old club, it would be fun to compete together as a team in fun comps, so I won't say that I will never play golf again, but at this stage just catching up with the women socially from time to time might be the best option.
R just messaged me & he will be resigning as of the 23rd. He has been stewing on the work situation all night & got little sleep. I'm relieved. He has a job lined up picking blueberries. That would be much better for his mental health & will give him some breathing space.
 
Yay for being solidly back on track! And lovely that your preferred people will come to the lunch. Christmas plan sounds sensible too: I think you've got this.
 
Thanks, LaMa. I am really glad that I’m back on track & do feel that I’ve got this. I think sugar is a killer with me & my body feels grateful. I’m feeling knackered tonight, so will come back in the morning & tell you about my day.
 
Yesterday-
I took Archie for a walk in the morning & when I got back I decided to wash my car again as the windscreen was filthy. G drove it one night last week & it got covered with insects. It was quite warm yesterday & I gave the car a really good scrub. When I came in I was hot & exhausted. I looked at the clock & it was 11.30. I was due at lunch in an hour. I kerplonked on my chair with a long icy cold diet tonic water after polishing off a big glass of water. Archie kerplonked on my lap. I sat there thinking that I couldn't possibly go to lunch & then I reminded myself that J had said she would change her plans because I was going, K had said how much she was looking forward to catching up with me & I had told G I would be there.
So, I drank my drink, took myself off for a shower & went.

I don't think I can be bothered relaying all that happened as it's all trivial, but let's just say I can't be bothered joining them again. I sat & talked with J the whole time. I really like her. I escaped as soon as presentations were over & J was ready to go anyway. There are many more reasons for me not to rejoin them than there are to go back. There's a gang in charge & they rule the roost (henhouse). It's not for me. It's just not worth it. I like my life.

I felt so anxious last night & had trouble getting to sleep. I wish we hadn't committed to going to G's sister's place on Christmas day. I think one of her sons may have split with his wife as she's not going to lunch(there's a FB group for those that are going) & her other son(& his family) is not going either & it will be a very emotional day. Then R & H, G & I have to come home & put on dinner for us all including our older son, his partner, her daughter & our 2 GK's. A day at home preparing & relaxing would have been a better idea for our sanity. Me & my thoughtfulness :svengo:

I am going to spend a day at home recovering today. There were so many perfumes in the air & I woke with Asthma. I'll just potter about the house & take Arch for a couple of small walks up the other end of our road.
 
Cate said:
I'll just potter about the house & take Arch for a couple of small walks up the other end of our road.
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I'm so sorry that you had a rough experience socializing, and that you got physically sick from the perfumes as well. I get it. Your plan to recharge sounds lovely. Take care!
 
Thanks, Floater. My reaction to all of their perfume is reinforcement to not going back as well. “Don’t sit next to me. I’ve got perfume on!”
The few I care about don’t wear perfume when they know I’m coming & I will make the effort to keep in touch with them away from the others.
I have been tidying up the house & have done a lot already & it’s only 10.40 am. G has been cutting wood. We decided it was rest time with a cuppa. He thinks I am a bit over enthusiastic with my decluttering but you should see our woodpile! 🤣
 
The fact that Floater has got a free pass for their diatribe against Marsia and I have been ex-communicated by LaMa because I said our freedoms have been taken away through Covid restrictions has really bothered me, I have to be honest here.
 
& I’m sorry that I checked my diary. You have no idea what conversations go on in private, Em & I would appreciate you staying out of my diary if this is all you have to say in it.
I am not impressed.
As far as I’m concerned there are no sides.
My inclination is to delete both of these posts but will leave them there for now anyway.
I’ll come back later I think. I was having a good day.
 
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Sorry to hear lunch wasn't fun. Staying in touch with just the good apples sounds like a healthy idea. Could you modify Christmas dinner so almost everything could be prepped the day before or do you have set traditions for it?
 
We’ll get as much done as we can beforehand LaMa. I think everyone that we will see on Christmas Day will have their own stresses & I find this time of year is fraught with emotional overload. I just wish that we had put ourselves first & just could spend the day at home. Too late.
 
We have very little to do with anybody at this time of year, Christmas is for little miss to have fun, no big get togethers or other stressful family interactions.
 
I think our Christmas dinner is on the 27th this year to avoid travel stress between the various in laws. The only important thing is that we all get together, even if we have to order McDonald's. We even had homemade pizza Christmas one year :D
 
Trusylver said:
We have very little to do with anybody at this time of year, Christmas is for little miss to have fun, no big get togethers or other stressful family interactions.
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Smart cookie, Tru! I usually steer clear too. I said we would come along to support my SIL as it’s her first Christmas since her husband died.
LaMaria said:
I think our Christmas dinner is on the 27th this year to avoid travel stress between the various in laws. The only important thing is that we all get together, even if we have to order McDonald's. We even had homemade pizza Christmas one year :D
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If it was just our immediate family & we weren’t going anywhere it wouldn’t be so stressful. I think the food is the least of our worries.
 
I can see that the SIL visit would add a lot of stress. But also: you would have despised yourself if you'd said no and she'd ended up being alone.
 
You're right, LaMa. I'm not about to turn into a person who doesn't care about the ones I love.
I thought I would type in my diary first this morning, while I'm feeling relaxed. I weighed & my weight loss has held at 4kg down, after 3 weeks & 3 days. It had bounced up half a kilo, so was glad to see that gone again.
Yesterday was an absolute test. I really felt like drinking &/or stuffing my face with chocolate. I didn't. I am so glad that I didn't. I woke up shaky & anxious but relieved that I didn't cave in.
Our son, D is down at his house cleaning madly & getting gravel delivered. He wants me to go down & do some cleaning. He says it's not too bad, but needs sprucing up a bit. I'll try. I haven't been feeling great lately & I run out of puff quickly. It may be my ticker. I have an appointment in January to see my cardiologist & he will probably send me off for a CT scan to check my aneurysm. I hope it hasn't grown. I had better start taking my BP (starting today) so I have some figures to show him.
Anyhow. I had better go look at the diaries. I think I need a break from posting in other people's diaries. Recent events have not been good for my mental & physical health.
 
Cate said:
Yesterday was an absolute test. I really felt like drinking &/or stuffing my face with chocolate. I didn't. I am so glad that I didn't. I woke up shaky & anxious but relieved that I didn't cave in.
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Great work.
Cate said:
I weighed & my weight loss has held at 4kg down, after 3 weeks & 3 days. It had bounced up half a kilo, so was glad to see that gone again.
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And clearly you got rewarded! Well-earned.
Cate said:
I had better go look at the diaries. I think I need a break from posting in other people's diaries. Recent events have not been good for my mental & physical health.
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:grouphug: Look out for number one first, please.
 
We talked about it with our older son today. He has a personal connection with a young first responder who was in the hospital as they came in. It was horrific. It is devastating. There will be so many kids traumatised by this.
 
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