Cate's Diary

Didn't baby sit tonight as DIL has a cold so am back here trying to stay awake so I'm not wide awake at 5.30am. If I keep this up I will start to feel like an old granny! I sleep so soundly these nights & apparently that happens usually on Cohen's.
I think I am at the stage similar to pregnancy when you just want to get there. This last stretch seems interminably long & I am often hungry. I am so looking forward to going out for dinner.
I haven't anything to say really tonight so will go watch tv for a while & try to keep my eyes open. The week-end is so quiet in the forum. It's good to know that most people have a social life. Goodnight folks xo Cate
 
I lasted until about 10pm before falling asleep in my chair & woke at about 6.15am so that's better.
When I woke up I had so many ideas in my head so today I wrote most of them down- what I could remember, plus lots more.
As of today I am officially a writer. I may never get published but I'm a writer. What does a writer do? Write!! I certainly do that. Misty, if you're out there- Thank you!!!
Writing is something I have always loved doing & I'm so excited about it. For the moment I am just going to write and write and write.
Since eating my yoghurt & stewed apple for breakfast, 2 crackers 4hrs after that I haven't been hungry at all. I am just having a glass of water every so often & am now down to 3 litres a day. I am not waking up during the night to have a pee any more which is great.
I'll weigh in tomorrow but not change my ticker. I have to think now how much I've lost & how much to go, according to Cohen's. I had put their top of the range goal as my goal as it was a bit too daunting but may have to re-assess. They said 66-69 kg (145-152 lbs). I was 105kg (231 lbs) & am now 80kg (176 lbs). In my 20's I varied between 64-68kg. I once got to 59.5 (very temporarily)but was horribly skinny & don't ever want to go there again.
I'll see how I feel hunger wise when I am in the low 70's. It feels good to say that-when, not if!!
I feel good today & very positive. I read a great book yesterday by Leigh Redhead, called "Peepshow". It was hilarious. I have ordered her next 2 books from the library. I won't write fiction. I have a lot of true stories I can tell, especially from owning & running a country pub (bar) for 18 years. Once I started putting down key points I filled up 6 x A4 sheets in no time at all. I like reading fiction based in places I know, like Melbourne, or Baltimore. Kerry Greenwood books I also love & have demolished all of her "Phryne Fisher" & "Corinne Chapman" series of books.
It feels good to have changed my life. I don't care if this is what's classified as a mid-life crisis or menopause or even a mental breakdown.
I rang my younger sister before I came in here. I said to her that I was busting to tell her something & that she knows I'm crazy so it doesn't matter. I told her that as of today I'm a writer. She was really enthusiastic & congratulated me. She also loves writing & said she has had the plan of a book in her head for years. She said I have inspired her to get back into it.
I will now set myself up better with an offic e space. My hubby seems quite keen on the idea of me writing so that's another plus.
OMG- I can't believe I feel so positive & so certain about this. If I never earn any money from it it doesn't matter and I will enjoy it so much.
Enough for now. I'll give you all eye-strain! I just had to share my enthusiasm after sharing all the stress. I'm looking forward to more posts in the support thread. It's a bit lonely in there today. I'll do some googling another time on how to get published etc but for now I'll just write.
Cheers, Cate.
 
Go for it Cate!! New beginnings are so exciting! Doing something you love will be a great motivator...........you'll have to dedicate the front leaf of your 1st book to your friends here for "pushing" you in the right direction!!!:)
 
Sue- I will!! We don't have a Cohen's swap thing happening here in Tas. I'm getting used to op shops & have picked up some really nice things. I will have to try them on in future though before I buy.
Today I feel like I would be lucky to conquer a mole hill, let alone the mountain or the world. That's the biggest problem with emotional highs- the higher you go the harder you fall!!
I really don't feel up to(like) explaining why my day was such crap. I have spent half the day (most) crying. So much for thinking I was getting back to the old me. I've still got a long way to go...
I didn't weigh myself this morning as I just didn't care. I haven't deviated though & I just prepared an evening meal for myself, that resembles a "normal person's" (non-Cohen's) meal. Hamburgers, zucchini strips, covered in garlic salt & "fried", tomato-"fried" & some lightly boiled cauli. I crushed 2 crackers, mixed them into the mince with chopped onion, curry powder, salt & pepper & some balsamic & lightly "fried" them in olive oil spray & more garlic. My meal is plated up, ready to zap. It looks good anyway!
I have cooked my hubby's vegies separately & have baked him some butternut pumpkin in the oven, some zucchini with tomato, onion & cheese on top, cauli, carrots & have cooked his hamburgers as well. He has some of his own hamburgers prepared & in the freezer.
I feel like curling up in a ball & going to sleep. I had lots of good intentions for today but fell in a heap. I am just so fragile. I don't like it at all. I do have to get outside & get some wood in before it rains again & is dark. I'll see how I feel later, Cate
 
Hubby was very attuned to my feelings when he arrived home from work & very sympathetic. He seems to say the right things these days. No longer the "you'll be right" & assuming all will be well if you ignore it. I had good reason to be upset & it was nice for him to confirm it.
Was asleep in my chair by 7pm! Tomorrow's another day.
I will weigh myself tomorrow as it should give me a boost. For the first time I have forgotten what I weigh! I think it was 80kg last Monday so should be in the 70's!!
Our dinner was very nice & my hubby really appreciated the trouble I went to. He is a sweety. He has tomorrow off & it's still raining so not sure what we'll do. I'm sure I'll feel much better in the morning, good night, Cate.
 
Darry- I hope I don't put them off with my ups & downs!! :eek:
The encouragement I have received from forum members has been the biggest boost for me along the way. It's helped me come to terms with the changes and challenges of losing weight & how I see myself. If "strangers" can see the real me & like me then I should be able to as well.
I have been wide awake since 5am & knew that I wouldn't get back to sleep & it's too early for breakfast so here I am! I feel better today & will weigh myself in a couple of hours.
We are going to a public protest meeting tonight. Our State Government has a policy called Protection of Agricultural Lands, which our local council has implemented, without proper consultation with the community. Basically it will mean that anyone with a block of land under 100 acres, worth under $1m, will not be able to build on that property. There are so many people with smaller blocks on seperate titles that have plans to build & they will be left with a virtually worthless block. It will affect almost everyone I know so we'll be there. A guest speaker will be Peter Cundall from Gardening Australia, who I just love. He is passionate about what he believes in & stands up for his beliefs. Where we live there are families living on 5-50 acre blocks & it's a lovely community. I think we should stand up for what we believe in. There are too many tree plantations in Tasmania already & this will mean more of them as the land will be unable to be built on.
I'll have to have a "nanna nap" during the day or I might fall asleep there, after getting up so early!
I'll have to start thinking about what I'll take to Melbourne to eat at the weekend. We are going on the ship (a night each way) & 1 day in Melb. so I'll take my food in a little soft esky. It has to be light & not require heating.
I'll eat before I leave home on Fri. Brekky can be yoghurt mixed with stewed apple (I'll take 2 lots), lunch maybe chicken & salad or tuna & salad & then I'll just have Mozzarella cheese slices, with tomato & celery, salt & pepper for my evening "meal". I have friends who work on the ship so can leave some things on board which is great!
It has hardly stopped raining here for days and days. We have gone from drought to pouring non-stop rain. Anyone who says climate change is not happening has their head buried in the sand. As soon as we have a couple of dry days I will start preparing my vegie garden & get something in soon.
Now that I am not drowning my insides with too much water I find I am seriously constipated. Ouch!! I eat spinach every day & an apple, even though it makes me hungry. I have had a spoonful of Metamucil every morning but have had to resort to taking something stronger. I think when I am exercising later on this will not be such a problem but for now it is. I might try the Metamucil capsules next & have bought some psyllium husks to put in with my yoghurt & stewed apple so will try that as well this morning & hopefully will work & taste ok. I just hate cereal!!
I miss some of my forum buddies & are wondering where you are. I know that most of you have very busy lives & it must be a constant juggle but I miss you!!
I welcome all visitors to my diary & hope you too will post a quick line occasionally as I appreciate the support that I get in here, cheers, Cate.
 
Cate, I'm still here, I'm just going through a rough time. My husband asked me for a divorce. I never wanted my kids to be "products of a broken home", so I'm having trouble coping. Also having trouble sticking to my program. :(

Anyway, I don't want to depress you in your own diary. Just wanted to explain why I haven't been around.

I'm happy you've given writing some more thought. Sounds like you have a book in you. I don't really know anything about writing books or publishing them, so I can't offer anything other than support and encouragement! I would suggest you check out the latest Writer's Market. It's full of markets for books, articles, poetry, etc. It even has listings for literary agents, if you need one.

I'll visit again when I'm feeling a little better.
 
Sorry Cate, hijack your diary a bit.

BFNM, sorry to hear that :( hang on there! Its gonna be tough :) I might get flame for this but i am gonna try; perhaps it will be easier on you, if you tackle one thing at a time, sort out the personel stuff first then concentrate on the diet. My suggestion.

All the best.

SC

BabyFatNoMore said:
Cate, I'm still here, I'm just going through a rough time. My husband asked me for a divorce. I never wanted my kids to be "products of a broken home", so I'm having trouble coping. Also having trouble sticking to my program. :(

Anyway, I don't want to depress you in your own diary. Just wanted to explain why I haven't been around.

I'm happy you've given writing some more thought. Sounds like you have a book in you. I don't really know anything about writing books or publishing them, so I can't offer anything other than support and encouragement! I would suggest you check out the latest Writer's Market. It's full of markets for books, articles, poetry, etc. It even has listings for literary agents, if you need one.

I'll visit again when I'm feeling a little better.
Click to expand...
 
BFNM...........sorry to hear that Hon,......not easy thing to deal with. Take support where you can get it (you know everyone here will listen, if you need to "offload"). I worked in health, and can strongly recommend seeing a counsellor regularly....right through the whole ordeal...you'll find everyone from family to friends, has advice and opinions, but an impartial person who supports and listens to you is invaluable.
:hug2: A big hug to you sweetie. You are worthy of love and happiness.....and will get through!:hug2:
 
Misty- Sweety- thank you very much for posting. I was worried about you & it seems with good reason. I am so sorry. I cannot even imagine how you must feel. I have a lot of love to share & send some of it your way.
I don't want to give any advice to you as it's really none of my business & I'm not an expert on anything. Instinct tells me that you will need something to make you feel better about yourself & that may include sticking to the plan. The most important thing to remember is that you are a really good, loving person! Please take care & look after yourself. I'll be thinking of you. Pop in anytime you like & pm me if you feel like a personal chat. It won't depress me I promise. Lots of love, Cate.
Nothing else to report folks just thought I'd have a quick look!
 
Yay, Cate! Congrats on reaching the 70s-- what a milestone!!! I'm doing a little happy dance for you....

Thanks for the support, guys and gals... You all make sense. My first instinct was to throw the diet out the window as Sunny suggested, but now I think you're right, Cate. Sticking to the plan just might make me feel better, give me a sense of control over something. Of course, seeing how proud my husband was helped me so much. This has stolen some of my motivation, but I know I need to do it for me... and for my kids. Sorry to take over your diary. I really just wanted to let you know I hadn't fallen off the face of the earth. I'll try to keep my super-personal comments to my own diary!
 
Glad that you have sort it out :)

my suggestion was by no means the correct or most apporpriate action to take, it was meant to lend some support :) In fact, Aussueeater's recommendation for a professionally trained counsellor will be more useful and apporpriate. But seems you handle it well. take care!

BabyFatNoMore said:
Yay, Cate! Congrats on reaching the 70s-- what a milestone!!! I'm doing a little happy dance for you....

Thanks for the support, guys and gals... You all make sense. My first instinct was to throw the diet out the window as Sunny suggested, but now I think you're right, Cate. Sticking to the plan just might make me feel better, give me a sense of control over something. Of course, seeing how proud my husband was helped me so much. This has stolen some of my motivation, but I know I need to do it for me... and for my kids. Sorry to take over your diary. I really just wanted to let you know I hadn't fallen off the face of the earth. I'll try to keep my super-personal comments to my own diary!
Click to expand...
 
Yeah, Sunny, it's easy to give the appearance of coping online. You should see me in real life-- puffy eyes, red face, constant waterworks! And I didn't think you were laying down the law or telling me the "right" thing to do. I understood your point and, believe me, it's tempting. In the long run, though, my time would probably be better spent weighing out my portions and cooking my Cohen's meals. In the end, I may be depressed and lonely, but at least I'll look good! (And, no, I'm not nearly that calm or accepting. Again, it's easy to have it together on paper!) So, Sunny and Aussue and Cate, thanks for the support.

And another thank you to Cate... I went back and reread some of your posts. The way you handled dark days was very inspirational. Through depression and sickness and work problems and family stress, you never deviated. I'm going to try to find some of that strength and determination. Even if my husband has suddenly decided-- after 10+ years and 3 kids and dealing w/ our daughter's deafness together-- that we're not "meant to be", I can still make myself proud... and I will. :)

OK, that's all... you can have your diary back, Cate....
 
Firstly Cate, let me say CONGRATS on getting into the 70's. I just hope I will be able to achieve that in a few months.

I was told I should have my program within 7 -9 days of my blood test - woo hoo.
 
I'm Back !!!!!!!

and you're 78.5! yay!!!

boy oh boy have I missed alot , I had an unexpected trip to London for work ...bring them on any time I say! had an absolute ball. Apart from work stuff, caught up with MIL which was great ! Stuck to Cohen's as much as I could but happy to report a loss of .5 in 10 days...still a loss.

So happy that you are a writer now , wow that is so cool Cate.

Misty: Hang in there will post a note in your diary.

once again great advise by you know who...NOT !! (sorry couldnt help myself posting that)

Ok, off to catch up with other threads...came in here first :)

chat soon
Annie Lusion
 
Hi Cate
YaY on reaching the 70's !!!!!!

I had to go away to visit a gravely ill friend hence I've been quiet

the ferocious hunger remains despite playing around with the food order for the day...........not happy
I have just finished Paul McKenna's book on the differences in the relationships with food between the slim and the size challenged ............have a look at it if you can very relative to me
Keep your chin up you are a great inspiration look forward to finishing with you

Hugs Nonna
 
Of all the days that I do not have time to write a long post!!!
I am so glad you are back Annie!!!! Once again you made me laugh. I'm trying not to take much notice but it is difficult when it's in here. A big welcome back to you, you little jet-setter! One day I'll tell you about where I worked. (Still do until next week) Similar type of work-place but obviously much different! Big LOL!
Misty- I have pm'd you (1st time I've done that) You can post anything in my diary any day!!!
Lukey- Thank you. We'll give you lots of help & support along the way. The friendships made in here take some beating.
Nonna- My hunger has died down a little thank goodness. Not long to go hopefully to re-feed. I am going to keep writing in my diary even when I am at goal. I know that I wish there were more threads about those who are at re-feed or at goal.
The more encouragement I get the more I want to give.
 
Thanks Cate, and thanks for missing me..it was nice to read that I was being missed....so very special !

Yes you will have to tell me one day....hopefully maybe one day over coffee!
Must be such a nice feeling not to work, good for you!
When are you in Melb? Dress warm, its soooooo cold and windy at the moment.

Better go, Wednesday night here, love my wed night tv, spicks and specks then the Chaser....I also really liked the Catherine Tate show but that has finished now. I think you mentioned you liked Spicks and Specks, do you watch chaser?

Stay happy!

ttfn
Annie Lusion
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top