Cate's Diary
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Cate
Long term member
Thanks, Marsia & Vic. I'm having a good day again & don't feel too tired. After my shower this morning I took Archie for a 2.3 km hilly walk. I rang G when I had gone far enough & he came & picked me up. He was surprised I had gone that far.
I'm back to counting calories & the new challenge I have joined in MFP.
I think I'll find a book to read. I have just reread the James Herriott Dog stories( again) & find reading is a good way to relax. Sunday can be my day of rest.
I'm back to counting calories & the new challenge I have joined in MFP.
I think I'll find a book to read. I have just reread the James Herriott Dog stories( again) & find reading is a good way to relax. Sunday can be my day of rest.
Oh yeah, can't have you escaping your influence or she won't be able to flex her power. Yay for enjoying golf despite her!
Cate
Long term member
She probably thinks I have gone to the dark side! She's always banging on about "the men" as if they were some strange other beings.
I bet all that golfing and walking is getting you really fit. I love when the solution to a problem involves messing with what people suppose is reality but isn't. You get to do your own thing and expand someone else's reality, even if they didn't want it expanded!
To me, mean people are the strange other beings. I feel like they don't quite get what being human is all about. I was reading about how Darwin had a theory of evolutionary cooperativeness that he juxtaposed with the survival of the fittest theory. He talked about how as a social species we have a better chance of survival and success because we are so cooperative and we learn cooperatively and advance cumulatively culturally. Just something I've been thinking about lately because I think we need way more of this as a culture. I'm glad you can keep golf as one of those social things where everyone learns and advances in the sport together!!
To me, mean people are the strange other beings. I feel like they don't quite get what being human is all about. I was reading about how Darwin had a theory of evolutionary cooperativeness that he juxtaposed with the survival of the fittest theory. He talked about how as a social species we have a better chance of survival and success because we are so cooperative and we learn cooperatively and advance cumulatively culturally. Just something I've been thinking about lately because I think we need way more of this as a culture. I'm glad you can keep golf as one of those social things where everyone learns and advances in the sport together!!
Nice to hear the golfing was such a successful day -playing well, having fun and raising money. And nice one on the good hilly walk. Having a nice rest day with a good book sounds lovely!
Maybe you will start to shift some of the thinking around there. I think it seems odd that men and women would play separately in a game like golf--maybe now that you have done it, others will too!
Cate
Long term member
Thanks, Llama, Marsia & Liza. I doubt I will shift any thinking, but I have had enough of following along & not saying anything so as not to rock the boat with the women. I just want to play golf & have fun. I'm feeling a bit down this morning. It's a mixture of things causing it. My weight is a real worry. I think I will make an appointment to see the woman doctor I like & talk to her about it. I had a dream last night where I was being fitted for clothes. I was choosing baggy clothes & the dressmakers were getting me to try on tight-fitting lacy ones. At one stage I couldn't get this black lacy dress off & the male dressmaker came back & mentioned Weight Watchers & walked away in disgust. I then woke & Archie was pressed in right against my back & I couldn't move. I got out of bed, went to the loo & had to move him to get back in.
I did the psychological survey that Marsia shared & almost didn't finish it when I realised how self-critical I feel at the moment. It was interesting though & I know I need to work on myself. My self-esteem is very low. I was honest with my answers & will share them with you-
Honesty
COURAGE
Speaking the truth but more broadly presenting oneself in a genuine way and acting in a sincere way; being without pretense; taking responsibility for one's feelings and actions.
2
Love
HUMANITY
Valuing close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing & caring are reciprocated; being close to people.
3
Gratitude
TRANSCENDENCE
Being aware of and thankful for the good things that happen; taking time to express thanks.
4
Bravery
COURAGE
Not shrinking from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain; speaking up for what’s right even if there’s opposition; acting on convictions even if unpopular; includes physical bravery but is not limited to it.
5
Kindness
HUMANITY
Doing favors and good deeds for others; helping them; taking care of them.
Humor
TRANSCENDENCE
Liking to laugh and tease; bringing smiles to other people; seeing the light side; making (not necessarily telling) jokes.
7
Perseverance
COURAGE
Finishing what one starts; persevering in a course of action in spite of obstacles; “getting it out the door”; taking pleasure in completing tasks.
8
Judgment
WISDOM
Thinking things through and examining them from all sides; not jumping to conclusions; being able to change one's mind in light of evidence; weighing all evidence fairly.
9
Social Intelligence
HUMANITY
Being aware of the motives/feelings of others and oneself; knowing what to do to fit into different social situations; knowing what makes other people tick.
10
Creativity
WISDOM
Thinking of novel and productive ways to conceptualize and do things; includes artistic achievement but is not limited to it.
11
Fairness
JUSTICE
Treating all people the same according to notions of fairness and justice; not letting feelings bias decisions about others; giving everyone a fair chance.
12
Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence
TRANSCENDENCE
Noticing and appreciating beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in various domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience.
13
Leadership
JUSTICE
Encouraging a group of which one is a member to get things done and at the same time maintain good relations within the group; organizing group activities and seeing that they happen.
14
Hope
TRANSCENDENCE
Expecting the best in the future and working to achieve it; believing that a good future is something that can be brought about.
15
Perspective
WISDOM
Being able to provide wise counsel to others; having ways of looking at the world that make sense to oneself/others.
16
Teamwork
JUSTICE
Working well as a member of a group or team; being loyal to the group; doing one's share.
17
Love of Learning
WISDOM
Mastering new skills, topics, and bodies of knowledge, whether on one's own or formally; related to the strength of curiosity but goes beyond it to describe the tendency to add systematically to what one knows.
18
Forgiveness
TEMPERANCE
Forgiving those who have done wrong; accepting others’ shortcomings; giving people a second chance; not being vengeful.
19
Humility
TEMPERANCE
Letting one's accomplishments speak for themselves; not regarding oneself as more special than one is.
20
Curiosity
WISDOM
Taking an interest in ongoing experience for its own sake; finding subjects and topics fascinating; exploring and discovering.
Spirituality
TRANSCENDENCE
Having coherent beliefs about the higher purpose and meaning of the universe; knowing where one fits within the larger scheme; having beliefs about the meaning of life that shape conduct and provide comfort.
22
Self-Regulation
TEMPERANCE
Regulating what one feels and does; being disciplined; controlling one's appetites and emotions.
23
Prudence
TEMPERANCE
Being careful about one's choices; not taking undue risks; not saying or doing things that might later be regretted.
24
Zest
COURAGE
Approaching life with excitement and energy; not doing things halfway or halfheartedly; living life as an adventure; feeling alive and activated.
I did the psychological survey that Marsia shared & almost didn't finish it when I realised how self-critical I feel at the moment. It was interesting though & I know I need to work on myself. My self-esteem is very low. I was honest with my answers & will share them with you-
Your Top Strengths
1Honesty
COURAGE
Speaking the truth but more broadly presenting oneself in a genuine way and acting in a sincere way; being without pretense; taking responsibility for one's feelings and actions.
2
Love
HUMANITY
Valuing close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing & caring are reciprocated; being close to people.
3
Gratitude
TRANSCENDENCE
Being aware of and thankful for the good things that happen; taking time to express thanks.
4
Bravery
COURAGE
Not shrinking from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain; speaking up for what’s right even if there’s opposition; acting on convictions even if unpopular; includes physical bravery but is not limited to it.
5
Kindness
HUMANITY
Doing favors and good deeds for others; helping them; taking care of them.
Your Middle Strengths
6Humor
TRANSCENDENCE
Liking to laugh and tease; bringing smiles to other people; seeing the light side; making (not necessarily telling) jokes.
7
Perseverance
COURAGE
Finishing what one starts; persevering in a course of action in spite of obstacles; “getting it out the door”; taking pleasure in completing tasks.
8
Judgment
WISDOM
Thinking things through and examining them from all sides; not jumping to conclusions; being able to change one's mind in light of evidence; weighing all evidence fairly.
9
Social Intelligence
HUMANITY
Being aware of the motives/feelings of others and oneself; knowing what to do to fit into different social situations; knowing what makes other people tick.
10
Creativity
WISDOM
Thinking of novel and productive ways to conceptualize and do things; includes artistic achievement but is not limited to it.
11
Fairness
JUSTICE
Treating all people the same according to notions of fairness and justice; not letting feelings bias decisions about others; giving everyone a fair chance.
12
Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence
TRANSCENDENCE
Noticing and appreciating beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in various domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience.
13
Leadership
JUSTICE
Encouraging a group of which one is a member to get things done and at the same time maintain good relations within the group; organizing group activities and seeing that they happen.
14
Hope
TRANSCENDENCE
Expecting the best in the future and working to achieve it; believing that a good future is something that can be brought about.
15
Perspective
WISDOM
Being able to provide wise counsel to others; having ways of looking at the world that make sense to oneself/others.
16
Teamwork
JUSTICE
Working well as a member of a group or team; being loyal to the group; doing one's share.
17
Love of Learning
WISDOM
Mastering new skills, topics, and bodies of knowledge, whether on one's own or formally; related to the strength of curiosity but goes beyond it to describe the tendency to add systematically to what one knows.
18
Forgiveness
TEMPERANCE
Forgiving those who have done wrong; accepting others’ shortcomings; giving people a second chance; not being vengeful.
19
Humility
TEMPERANCE
Letting one's accomplishments speak for themselves; not regarding oneself as more special than one is.
20
Curiosity
WISDOM
Taking an interest in ongoing experience for its own sake; finding subjects and topics fascinating; exploring and discovering.
Your Lesser Strengths
21Spirituality
TRANSCENDENCE
Having coherent beliefs about the higher purpose and meaning of the universe; knowing where one fits within the larger scheme; having beliefs about the meaning of life that shape conduct and provide comfort.
22
Self-Regulation
TEMPERANCE
Regulating what one feels and does; being disciplined; controlling one's appetites and emotions.
23
Prudence
TEMPERANCE
Being careful about one's choices; not taking undue risks; not saying or doing things that might later be regretted.
24
Zest
COURAGE
Approaching life with excitement and energy; not doing things halfway or halfheartedly; living life as an adventure; feeling alive and activated.
I love looking at your strengths test results. It does look very much like how I see you! So cool!! The link in my diary is to the book that talks about these strengths, but it does so in a very research oriented way, so you might want to skim some of the different strengths. We found the descriptions of some straight-forward, but others like humor were surprising.
I'm feeling pretty alarmed at my weight at the moment, too. I was thinking of putting up a picture on my mirror of the last time I was on the forum and lost 50 pounds. I felt so good then! Do you know a positive way of framing the weight loss for you that might help you to feel nice and motivated? I've had dreams like that where I feel trapped or smushed, and have woken up to a cat across my face or chest! I think it's a great idea to see the doctor you like for input!
I'm feeling pretty alarmed at my weight at the moment, too. I was thinking of putting up a picture on my mirror of the last time I was on the forum and lost 50 pounds. I felt so good then! Do you know a positive way of framing the weight loss for you that might help you to feel nice and motivated? I've had dreams like that where I feel trapped or smushed, and have woken up to a cat across my face or chest! I think it's a great idea to see the doctor you like for input!
Cate
Long term member
That is cool! I was a bit scared of the results, but I think they're fairly accurate. I don't seem to have much zest for life at the moment so wasn't surprised to see that coming last!
I will see if our library has a copy.
Instead of being an incentive photos of me at my lowest, happy & healthy weight make me feel more despondent. I know that I felt great but I can't seem to get my head around being able to do it again.
I haven't made an appointment yet. Just did that. I can't get in to see her until the 12th of April, but that's ok. Thanks for the reminder.
I had better go log my food right now & see if anyone has added me to MFP or made an entry in the chat section there.
We have had a lazy day today, but made sauce & relish.
The link in my diary is a free pdf version of the strengths book if they don't have it at your library. It's such a long, research driven book, I don't think you'd read it cover to cover, so maybe looking up a few things in the pdf version of the book wouldn't be too bad if the book isn't in your library.
I agree with Llama that you are an amazing person with a really big heart!! I hope you can find a way to feel self compassion and that sense of caretaking we have as moms that you can turn toward yourself so you can nurture yourself like you would your garden. Maybe if you think about the ways G and R feel about you? I think my motivation for losing weight has changed. I want to be kinder to myself and experience what self compassion feels like, so I want to lose weight so that I get healthy and treat myself well. I feel like there are enough uncaring people in the world that now I just want to be surrounded in compassion, and I need to learn to be more self compassionate because I'm the one who spends the most time with myself. Anyway, I think it's good to keep looking at potential motivations for weight loss and hopefully over time we'll find ones that stick. I hope you find a good challenge to join on MFP, but if not, would you want to make one on here? I think if I were to put a challenge up on this forum it would be to do one small thing each day that is self compassionate and healthy.
I agree with Llama that you are an amazing person with a really big heart!! I hope you can find a way to feel self compassion and that sense of caretaking we have as moms that you can turn toward yourself so you can nurture yourself like you would your garden. Maybe if you think about the ways G and R feel about you? I think my motivation for losing weight has changed. I want to be kinder to myself and experience what self compassion feels like, so I want to lose weight so that I get healthy and treat myself well. I feel like there are enough uncaring people in the world that now I just want to be surrounded in compassion, and I need to learn to be more self compassionate because I'm the one who spends the most time with myself. Anyway, I think it's good to keep looking at potential motivations for weight loss and hopefully over time we'll find ones that stick. I hope you find a good challenge to join on MFP, but if not, would you want to make one on here? I think if I were to put a challenge up on this forum it would be to do one small thing each day that is self compassionate and healthy.
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Sorry to hear you are feeling a little down Cate. Your strengths list is pretty great, although I am sorry you're not feeling much zest for life lately. Looking at your physical strengths might really help as well when feeling down about your weight. You obviously have a lot going for you in terms of physical health in terms of being able to play so much golf, being able to get out on some good walks, and eating overall very healthy foods. Those are really great strengths to have no matter your weight. Finding your way to get back into golfing when you had the issue with your knees is so good.
I think when we are looking at what we want to change in life we can get so over-focused on what's wrong with us instead of what's right (which is what marsia's inventory is pointing at too) So maybe making a visible list of all your really great physical strengths would help.
For me so much of this is so relatable in terms of my anxiety disorder. I can get so down about where I am at with things, and then looking back at how I used to be before the disorder hit can actually be a little discouraging as I feel I won't ever get back there. So I really try and shift it to where am I now? Who am I now? What strengths do I have now? And build on that.
Anyway, sending you big hugs
I think when we are looking at what we want to change in life we can get so over-focused on what's wrong with us instead of what's right (which is what marsia's inventory is pointing at too) So maybe making a visible list of all your really great physical strengths would help.
For me so much of this is so relatable in terms of my anxiety disorder. I can get so down about where I am at with things, and then looking back at how I used to be before the disorder hit can actually be a little discouraging as I feel I won't ever get back there. So I really try and shift it to where am I now? Who am I now? What strengths do I have now? And build on that.
Anyway, sending you big hugs
Cate
Long term member
I really appreciate the kindness & support I get here & want to thank you for being so kind When I feel discouraged or down I have trouble coping with kindness & get emotional & don't know what to say. I feel I am my true self here & am probably more open about my feelings. You see me with all of my vulnerabilities but I am grateful you also see my strengths. I will try to concentrate on them & not dwell on my negative traits. I am very self-critical. Thinking about myself as G & R think about me is a good suggestion, M.
I had an enjoyable day at golf yesterday playing with the couple we know from the nationals. I get along well with her & her husband seems nice too. G & I were runners-up & they were 3rd. It was enjoyable.
My mood is better today but I am discouraged about my weight. I need to come up with a new way to try to lose. The challenge in the other forum is an attempt to get inspired. It doesn't start until April & will be something different each week. It's worth a try.
We'll have a day at home today to recover from golf & then I think we'll go to town to pick up a few things, including some AF wine & do a little shopping. We're going to Hobart this weekend for a couple of nights staying with R at C's house. He's quite down at the moment. I rang him last night as he had sent me a few messages while I was playing golf.
When I feel discouraged or down I have trouble coping with kindness & get emotional & don't know what to say. I feel I am my true self here & am probably more open about my feelings. You see me with all of my vulnerabilities but I am grateful you also see my strengths. I will try to concentrate on them & not dwell on my negative traits. I am very self-critical. Thinking about myself as G & R think about me is a good suggestion, M.I had an enjoyable day at golf yesterday playing with the couple we know from the nationals. I get along well with her & her husband seems nice too. G & I were runners-up & they were 3rd. It was enjoyable.
My mood is better today but I am discouraged about my weight. I need to come up with a new way to try to lose. The challenge in the other forum is an attempt to get inspired. It doesn't start until April & will be something different each week. It's worth a try.
We'll have a day at home today to recover from golf & then I think we'll go to town to pick up a few things, including some AF wine & do a little shopping. We're going to Hobart this weekend for a couple of nights staying with R at C's house. He's quite down at the moment. I rang him last night as he had sent me a few messages while I was playing golf.
I'm glad you are trying new things like a new challenge. I am doing that with the stress reduction aspect of weight loss and it's helping me to not care if I crave things so much, but mostly it is getting me into new forms of meditating and getting me to do yoga on a regular basis. I think a main thing for me is doing healthy things that I actually enjoy more and more and replacing things like being self critical with more supportive ways of motivating myself. I hope you do see yourself more like G and R do. It isn't self indulgent to appreciate oneself and to work with one's strengths. According to what I am reading, it actually is motivating becoming even better at what we are already naturally good at. And also it has the benefit that when I'm happier, so are the people around me, and it is a lot easier to walk away from the fattening food because I got my happiness elsewhere already. That's my plan I am working on for now, anyway.