zoila diary

zoila

zoila

New member
Well, I am pretty new to this so I hope I am doing it right.

A little about my self, I am 29yrs old (will be 30 half way through the year)and have a 4and half year old daughter and a 2yr old son. I have known for a long time how important it is to get my weight off, but have found it hard. Even knowing all I know I still find it hard to stick to my diet I dont know why it should be the easiest decision in the world.

I have battled with weight my whole life when I was 18 I lost 30kg (sorry I dont know how to do pounds, if I am correct what I have figured out is its rougthly 1kg=2.2pd which would make it 66pds) I kept the weight off till I got married at 23, I put about 10kg(22pds) on in our fist year but wasnt to worried was staying there then I got pregnant well that was that. the old excuse I'm eating for two, or I am going to get fat anyway, was my catch phrase. Also it was a hard time for me as the pregnancy was an accident and my husband was not happy it created a lot of problems and when I am stressed I comfort eat, which I did. I put on a huge 30kg(66pd) and when my daughter was born i only lost 4kg(8.8pds) I was now very over weight and not quite sure how to go about loseing it. the next year I kept comfort eating as things were not great at home my weight steadly climbed when I got pregnant with my son I was 115kg(253pds) I was a 134kg(294pd) by the end of my pregnancy. This pregnancy put a lot of stress on my body and I started having liver problems, the doctors assumed the problems would go away after the baby was born but 2yrs later I am still having the same problems and they are still doing test on me to figure it out, while they have said they dont think my weight is the main problem, but it is defititly a contributing factor as far as I am concerned. they have advised I get the weight off. I am hoping that if I lose the weight my liver will heal its self it is said to be the most regenitive organs. So I am hopefull.

Now knowing all of this I have still battled with staying on track. some days I feel like an addict it drives me crazy. This week I have gone well, I have stuck to my diet though being short a car has especialy helped me as I was tempted a few times to run down to the shop and rembered the car was gone. I might see if my husband can take the family car everyday for a few weeks until my wilpower is a bit stronger, I know once I start seeing those loses it will get easier to stay on track. So here I am ready for my life to change. Apart from my health issues, I really want my life back. I use to be really outgoing and confident but I am not anymore, I dont have the energy to play with my kids they way I want and I can realy see that they are missing out. And that makes me realy sad.

Ok so my starting weight is 138kg(303pds)
my end goal is 70kgs (154pds)
and my mini goal is 120kg(264) which I would like to do before my cousins wedding on the 1st of April.

One of my dreams and this is really corny butI have always wanted to take dance lessons (I know I'm a bit old lol) have been obsessed with tap and ballroom so my gift to my self when I get to a decent size is to start clases lol. wish me luck, here at week one. I have a long road to travel.
 
Welcome!

Oh, dance lessons are awesome! I've always wanted to take them, too. It doesn't matter how old you are! I think it's awesome and def. not corny! Also, you can burn a lot of calories dancing! Maybe look into some dance videos? I'm doing belly dance with a Veena and Neena dvd, and it's so much fun!

Good luck!

Oh! btw, I absolutely adore your signature quote!
 
Hi Zoila! Welcome to the forum. I am pretty new here as well (maybe two weeks now). I have really found the forum to be a great place to find support and motivation. I am sure you will too.

I have always wanted to take ballroom dance lessons. My biggest obstacle, however, would be convincing my husband to do it too! I doubt it can be done. Good luck on your weight loss journey! :)
 
Hi, Zoila! It sounds like you are really ready to lose the weight. I just found out that I have high blood pressure, so I completely understand what it's like to diet when your health is on the line. It definitely gives you a chance to ditch the excuses and just do it. I just bought a dance aerobics tape and it is really fun and a good way to get some exercise. Good luck, just remember that you can do it because you are worth it.
 
Hi!

I only signed up a couple of weeks ago, but I find that posting on this site motivates me a lot. I hope it will help you too. Good luck! :)
 
hey zoila welcome to this great forum! I find this site really good when I feel I am going to eat something thats not good......I come on here and post.....and the craving passes!
 
Zoila....
Just wanted to say hi and glad you joined the forum...I am new to it too, but have found it to be a comfort when my mind wants to wonder away and think about chocolate bars and McDonalds. I share your feelings of being addicted to food - I sometimes feel like no matter how bad I want to lose the weight, I remain at the mercy of the refridgerater. It is difficult to change your thinking - to not defeat yourself or to not have "negative internal dialogue"...but just keep thinking about those dance lessons....my reward will be a tattoo - and an easier time playing with my son!
Keep at it!
here if you need me!
 
Thanks eveyone for your great comments, it really does help haveing this to go to when the cravings hit. Well I am finding these couple of days a bit trickey.
Yesterday was a public holiday being "Australia Day" so my husband had it off. traditionly when he has a day off we all head off to sizzlers for a family dinner so there has been a bit of pressure there. I solved the problem by sugesting that my husband take both kids down to macdonalds to have a play "they were bored" and they could have dinner mean while I stay at home and have some me time, which I get verry little of. So off they went. I part of me still felt bad as stupid as that is that I felt I was missing out on something. We dont get together as a family very much cause my husband does evening/night shift work so is rarely home for dinner. Then I found out that he took today off as well which has thrown me out of wack a bit cause I am not use to haveing him around, and he doesnt like any food that he even assumes is "healthy" or diet, lol. So the temptation is bad.

I have a new plann for next week though I want to hire a treadmill. I was going to the gym last year and started to feel quite fit/healthy but I had to quit cause Hubby found out how much it cost lol (was with holding the true amount) and since then fittness has gone out the window. But I figure a treadmill has to be a good comprimised. Meet him half way in the way of what we want, (him the money me the fitness) I really like the treadmill, but find I cant walk in the street the same. As when I was younger I had a horse ridding accident where I smashed a bit of my ankle bone, had a lot of problems with it and a operation but they said it will alway be a problem for me, Try my best to keep the weight off it (failed there) when I walk around the block I find all the uneven levels on the ground hard to deal with. I cant walk as far before I get a lot of pain and the next week find I am limping on it. I dont have that with the treadmill (as long as I dont over do it) I am guessing its because its even and cushioned it takes some of the impact for me. So thats the plann going to call them up tomorow am quite excited.

Ok am taking the stuff about the negitive talk to heart, as I am guilty of that. I am trying to say positive stuff to my head (lol) I can do this, I will do this. Tomorow is a new day. I will be able to play and chase my kids around (and catch them) I will learn to dance (lol, thanks for not laughing at that one).
 
Hey Zolia...
good for you for trying to stay positive....if you keep holding on through all the times you don't want to...they will add up! And they will make a difference....don't give up on yourself! The treadmill is a great idea....let us know how that works out!
all the best!
 
Hi Zolia! I got a treadmill right after Christmas and I love it. It works well for me because I can exercise when time permits. I bought the cheapest motorized treadmill I could find (which was basicly the only way I could convince my husband to let me get one). It works fine, but I have noticed that it doesnt have very good impact cushioning. I think that if I stick with using the treadmill this year, I may upgrade to a better one next Christmas. Hope you find one you like.

Stay positive and keep up the good work! :)
 
Hi Zoila and welcome! This is a great place to turn for support! Whenever you need a hand come on in and we'll help if we are able. ;) Most, if not all, of us have been where you are now and have hung with it with the help of people here. Keep up the positive thoughts and keep trying to compromise with hubby. There is nothing wrong with going to dinner with your family. Just remember to order as healthy as you can and enjoy it. :D Then work the rest of the week to be as good as you can :) Hang in there and post anytime you want or need help :D
 
Well, I had a bit of a bad weekend. I couldnt log on for some reason I dont know why but my computer wouldnt load the site and I was starting to get worried that I wouldn't be able to come on again.
I was doing good on the saturday and I had to take my daughter out to get new shoes for school which goes back this Thursday (over here anyway) Well I wanted it to be a good expereince for her as she is going from Kindy to pre-primary but by the time we walked to the first shop I new I was in trouble casue my back was killing me and my ankle started to play up and of course because I left it so late there were no shoes in her size left so to cut a long story short we ended up having to walk through the whole shopping centre (its a big one) and I was in so much pain wich made me cranky so my poor daughter didnt get much enjoyment out of the whole experience. And we ended up leaving with out the shoes. I felt realy bad that I couldnt do such a simple thing for her with out it turning into a big drama. then I came home went to log on to read some positive stories and couldnt got a bit more frustrated by still didnt break my diet.
I kept telling my self food will only make this situation worse. To cheer my self up I went out that night and had a late night at my friends place. My husband said that he would get up early with the kids in the morning so I wasnt worried about staying out late. But the next day I must of been tired cause my husband just let me wake when ever and I didnt wake till 12pm. I was annoyed and told him off for not waking me, granted I must of been tired but It threw my whole day out of wack. I missed breakfast and now was past being hungry and kind of felt zombied from over sleeping so I just had a diet drink and tried to catch up on the stuff I needed to do for the day by the time I new it it was 5pm and every one wanted dinne and the hunger hit me like crazy. When the sugestion of going to dinner came up again I didnt even hesitate and off I went and I did not do very well.
I know it is ok to go out to dinner with the family from time to time but I am not yet at the place I need to be where I can control my selections especialy when every one else is eating the stuff I love. So I need to stay away all together for the time being because I lack self control. I also need to lay off late night because I find if I miss breakfast its usaly downhill for me from there.
All in all I am quite disapointed in my self I was going well and I threw it away. But I am not giving up and am started again. I was just so happy I could come on today and write everything down, I have had all this stuff in my head all weekend and writing everything down just feels like some kind of realease. The treadmill is going to cost a bit more then I would of liked but I am still trying to make that happen this week. I really need it, I need to improve my overall fitness and also if i do slip then I can balance it with extra exercise, so fingers cross I can get the money together this week.
 
The forum was slow for a lot of people this weekend, Good luck with the treadmill. :)
 
Don't beat yourself up to badly, Hun. We all have out set backs and you are turning yours around so be proud of yourself for that :) Hang in there, you're doin' great :D
 
Welcome

Hi Zoila!!!

I read your reply in my journal and decide to find yours and read it. Wow is awesome!! We have so much in common, age, husbands :D and kids. I only have a 5 year old son.

Welcome to the forum. I am almost a new member (since January 2006). It helps me a lot. I cheat my diet and workout but the forum make me stay on track. I am really focus in my goals. Writting my journal helps me a lot. Getting response from other people helps me also. I'm always happy to go to the forum to see if someone read my story and reply or to read others people's stories.

I understand what you wrote about your husband. So go for it!!!!! You can do it girl!!! The dance lessons are another great idea. You can do anything that you want if you work for it and stay focus!!!

hugs, chimistar
 
I dont know if its just here where I live or everywhere around the world but they start bringing out the easter stuff about 1wk after christmas now. I have come to the conclusion that it should be ilegal lol. My favourite things in the world Hot cross buns/chocolate eggs, and every time I walk in the shop there they are staring at me. You think they could give a person time to recover from christmas first lol. I have found out via weight watchers thing that one hot cross bun equals 5 points, Man thats with out any butter. gee I get 23 points in a day and it seems way to stupid to waste that many just on one bun. As much as I love them. My daughter sat on my lap today beging me to buy some today, I said no not this week lol. I cant trust my self enough to have them in the house, so she has to miss out too.
So I had to go shoping today to get some food and some more stuff for my daughter who starts school tommorow. As soon as I enter my head starts telling me how much I need chocolate lol. As its a treat for doing the shoping (which I hate doing) I am walking up and down the shop thinking well it cant hurt that much to buy two of those little chocolates lol. Then got to the end and said nope. Weigh in day is friday its not far now I can make it till then. So I brought my self a magazine instead for that treat my head was insisting on. And walked away no chocolate in hand (I am a serious chocolate addict) Now I never knew the feeling that came with saying no was so powerful I almost felt slimer haveing made that decision, which sound funny but feeling pretty good with my self.
Now I am sitting here thinking I just need to make it till friday knowing that once I weigh in a new week starts full of new promise, and will hopefully give me that second wind. You know how you start out heading for the weigh in day running yelling here I come, well now I am down to more of a crawl, lol pulling my self along say I know its not far now. Funny really Its my first week of doing this seriuosly it should be easy, Yet I find it hard. Oh well my sister does this new wave thing, which is full of all this natural products, anyway she signed me up and brought me all these products she has been taking. There is stuff there to give me more energy and to help with the hunger, also to balance the hormones so I am not so moody. So I am quite excited cause it all arived today so I can start taking them tommorow. She has lost quite a lot of weight, since doing it. I got a shock when I saw her. (She lives kind of far away we see each other about once a year) It gives me hope. As does everyones stories.
So today food wise I have gone well, yougurt for breakfast, 5 crackers with cheese and tomato for lunch and am about to cook chicken/veg stirfry for dinner (much to my daughters disgust lol) My bigest problem today has been not enough water, just cant seem to stomach much. My other big problem is my addiction to salt, I know it makes you retain water but cant seem to cut it down. Does anyone have any suggestions.
 
Hi Zoila :) Great job on the no chocolate!!! A magazine is always a calorie free treat :D You are doing great! If it were easy everybody would be stick thin, but its not and there are those of us who need to take the journey to health.:) For a salt replacement, believe it or not, I use small amounts of dill weed. If you only use small amounts of it at a time, it tastes nice and salty. There is also something called Accent here which is a salt substitute.
Hope that helps :D Have a good day and keep up the good work.:)
 
That was a really good idea buying the magazine instead of the chocolate. It is so hard right now. The stores are full of Valentines day candy, and Easter candies are creeping in the store. Grrrrrr. I can't get to anything without having to walk by the candy displays these days.

Don't fret that you are feeling a bit weary this first week. I think starting off is actually the hardest time. I have only been doing this seriously for about five weeks now, and I think it is just now getting a bit (just a bit) easier. Seeing the results on the scale is a huge motivator! I still have days when I want to throw in the towel and down some serious calories. Thats why I love checking in here. Its always a pick me up for me, and really helps me stay focused. At least I know I am not alone!

Good luck with your weigh in Friday! Hang in there, you're doing great! :)
 
So after my winge the other day there was this news story on how Early the easter products have come on to the shelf (1st wk January) and how wrong it is and they are trying to extend the season to make more money. One guy was even talking about legaslating (sp) it so they have restricitions on how early they bring it out well I had to laugh cause I was glad I wasnt the only one complaining about it.
Meanwhile I crawled through Thursday and have arrived at Friday YAH!! and I am feeling good and my comment earlier about feeling slimer by makeing the decesion not to eat the chocolate wasnt so silly because I lost 2.1kg(which by the converter is 4.6pounds) so I am feeling pretty happy right now and full of energy for the new week. Lol amazing how a loss can do that for you. I also have made a new kind of goal for my self. I turn 30 this July ahhhh and have not been looking forward to it but decided the other day I am going to have a big fun party something realy childish as my stand against getting older lol. (any ideas are welcome).
So my goal is to get at least 20-30kgs off by then so I can really enjoy myself and look good lol. So far I liket the idea of this kids gym thing which is for adults to muck around on, but the problem being is I need to get quite a lot of weight of to enjoy it properly. I have also seen this bus which takes you and your friends around town stops at all different pubs but is fully equipt with a karroke machine which blast out into the bus and the street which a few of my friends like the idea of (I like the karroke bit) but I'm not really a big drinker and neither is my husband so I'm not to sure. Also considered a murder mystery party which might be a laugh, so there you go still brain storming but definitly someting to look forward to (instead of dread) lol.
Thanks for all your messages it really does help hearing all the postive advice and encouragement. About the salt issue I have never heard of dill weed before where would I be able to buy that. At a health food store?
 
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