Your partner used to be the opposite sex, stay or go?

miracle

miracle

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You find out your partner used to be the opposite sex, would you stay or go?

After watching A Girl Like Me, it got me thinking about what other people would do if you were dating someone, and you found out that they are the opposite sex they say they are.

If you were dating someone for a very long time, you loved them dreadfully and wanted to be with them always, but they tell you that they had a sex change before they knew you, and they used to be the opposite sex, would you stay with them? Would you stay with the person you fell in love with and always wanted to be with, or would you go, just because of what they used to be?

Curious :)

-the movie is great btw, I loved it.
 
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Would you stay with the person you fell in love with and always wanted to be with, or would you go, just because of what they used to be?
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I don't think a person can be judged on what they used to be... everyone has a past... and their past is what makes them who they are today...

I have an aquaintance elsewhere ont he web who has a transgendered sibling - she's a girl now, and has recently had the surgery to seal the deal and she's avery atttactive girl who dates frequently - and is always upfront with her dates when it starts to get a little serious - some handle it - some well not so much..

I'd feel betrayed if I was told when things were getting to the for the rest of our lives stage - that discussion shoud have been had well before that point...
 
maleficent said:
I don't think a person can be judged on what they used to be... everyone has a past... and their past is what makes them who they are today...

I have an aquaintance elsewhere ont he web who has a transgendered sibling - she's a girl now, and has recently had the surgery to seal the deal and she's avery atttactive girl who dates frequently - and is always upfront with her dates when it starts to get a little serious - some handle it - some well not so much..

I'd feel betrayed if I was told when things were getting to the for the rest of our lives stage - that discussion shoud have been had well before that point...
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But would you stay with them?
 
tough call - because they didn't trust me enough to tell me abouot it when it because a relationship - I'd wonder what else they were keeping from me.

Relationships based on deceit don't work out in the long run...

Love isn't enough - trust has to be there too
 
I don't think I could get to the point where I was in love with someone if I didn't know anything about their life before me, their childhood, etc... Knowing enough about this, and not knowing they'd had a sex change are mutually exclusive as I see it.

So I don't think it would be possible for me not to find out til I was in love with them... If I found out after a short time, I would like to think that it wouldn't factor in to whether or not I stayed with them. If the relationship were to end at any point, I would sincerely hope that it were for other reasons... though I can't honestly say for certain how I would react.
 
Tough one, I wouldn't be as upset about the sex change, okay I'd probably not be upset about that at all, but I would be a bit miffed that they hadn't told me. If they hid the fact from me, I'd be unable to trust them, so I'd leave. If it just didn't come up and it wasn't intentionally hidden, then I'm pretty sure I'd stay.
 
I can understand why someone would want to keep that sort of information to themselves, especially when it comes to telling a perspective partner about it. I think I'd be ok with it, but it depends on how I found out too... Like obviously the actual fact that they had the change wouldn't be a problem, since I assume I'd like them the way they were before I found out... so yeah, it would all come down to how I found out. If they told me, that would be fine... If an ex-lover said something, or if I stumbled across dr's papers or something, that would be something else... I think I'd be upset, but I don't think I'd break up with them over it.

I'll let you know how it goes if it ever happens to me :p
 
You guys do realize how hard it is to fake being a woman/man right? Even after the surgery, things don't look "right". If you can't spot Helen, the 6'2 woman with an adams apple, DDs and a mini-skirt from across the bar then you need to re-evaluate your comprehension skillz.
 
that one guy said:
You guys do realize how hard it is to fake being a woman/man right? Even after the surgery, things don't look "right". If you can't spot Helen, the 6'2 woman with an adams apple, DDs and a mini-skirt from across the bar then you need to re-evaluate your comprehension skillz.
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You can get women (born female) with masculine features about them.
You can get men with delicate features about them.

You can get short, tall, thin, fat, strong or weak men.
Not all men are over 6 foot with deep voices and an adams apple.

It's not hard to fake being a man or woman if thats what you FEEL you are.. only you're trapped in the other genders body.
 
In all honesty, I'd go, simply because I'm pretty close minded when it comes to these things, I've been brought up to believe things are a certain way, and that's what I expect.
That said, I'd never discriminate against anyone ;)
I'm a little parinoid now :(
 
that one guy said:
You guys do realize how hard it is to fake being a woman/man right? Even after the surgery, things don't look "right". If you can't spot Helen, the 6'2 woman with an adams apple, DDs and a mini-skirt from across the bar then you need to re-evaluate your comprehension skillz.
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my aquaintance's sister is about 5'7, slim, more feminine than any natural born female... you would not know...
 
I would definitely not stay with them. Part of a healthy relationship is sex. Surely not everything.... and I am far from shallow.... but all sexual attraction would go out the window if my fiancé transformed into a male.
 
I could date someone transgendered. I think it would be great to be with someone who had the strength to do what was right for them despite the constrictions of society.
 
I'll clarify. If I was in love with someone, and they revealed to me that they were transgendered after a long period of dating, I would like to think I'd stay with them. Withholding that sort of secret has more to do with their fear of acceptance which is something I'd understand, rather than something malicious or deceitful. Malicious meaning they'd cheated or commited a crime, or deceitful meaning...I don't know! Yeah I would have to work on trust but according to the question, if I had intentions of staying with that person forever, and then I found out they were transgendered, I would find a way to work out the trust issue.
 
lukewarm said:
I'll clarify. If I was in love with someone, and they revealed to me that they were transgendered after a long period of dating, I would like to think I'd stay with them. Withholding that sort of secret has more to do with their fear of acceptance which is something I'd understand, rather than something malicious or deceitful. Malicious meaning they'd cheated or commited a crime, or deceitful meaning...I don't know! Yeah I would have to work on trust but according to the question, if I had intentions of staying with that person forever, and then I found out they were transgendered, I would find a way to work out the trust issue.
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Sorry, I actually misread the question.

I thought the OP was asking, "what if you loved someone and intended to be with them forever and THEN they had a sex change, would you stay?"

But OP was asking something quite different. Which you answered.

Personally, I don't know what I would do. I know one thing is for certain. I like knowing that my fiancé has always been a female. :)
 
^ That is a good question too though, and I would stay with my boyfriend if he wanted a sex change. I'm bisexual and maybe that is why I would stay with him, I don't know. Either way, I love who he is.. boobs or no boobs.
 
miracle said:
^ That is a good question too though, and I would stay with my boyfriend if he wanted a sex change. I'm bisexual and maybe that is why I would stay with him, I don't know. Either way, I love who he is.. boobs or no boobs.
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Haha, I am sure being bisexual influences your answer.

In my shoes though... if my fiancé all of a sudden had an extra appendage... I think I would be grossed out.

Let me think about it........

Yup, I certainly would be.
 
^ A lot or all of straight men would. I asked my boyfriend if he'd leave me. He said "in a heartbeat". How upset was I, lol. I do understand why though.
 
miracle said:
^ A lot or all of straight men would. I asked my boyfriend if he'd leave me. He said "in a heartbeat". How upset was I, lol. I do understand why though.
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Haha, probably b/c guys are gross. I don't know how you women put up with us.
 
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