That's this philosophy playing out picture perfect, to be honest. Your fear of the unknown and your fear of failure is far more real to you than any pleasure you could possibly mentally attach to your goals. That is, if you don't take conscious control of your habitual thought patterns.
One of the first thing I do with clients who have been struggling for years trying to lose weight is simple... for two weeks, I have them right down their thoughts in relation to losing weight and healthy living. The first few days is usually tough. I'm lucky if they write down 5 thoughts when you know damn well their weight and their desire is on their minds far more than 5 times per day.
The tricky part is, though, that monitoring your internal dialog is tough. It's tough b/c for most of us it's entirely on autopilot. We're in a state of reaction, reacting to what our unconscious minds are programmed to do. It's not a matter of being mentally lazy. It's a matter of being completely mentally ignorant to the things you're saying to yourself. That voice that guides each and every one of your decisions. You simply haven't developed an ear for it, is all. And because of this, your choices are already determined.... along with your destiny for the most part.
If you've been told or if you've thought your entire life that you're fat and will always be fat... guess what? Without mentally, consciously intervening... your mind is programmed to keep you fat. Simple as that.
That's why identifying your habitual, internal dialog is critical. The writing down part of it is insanely critical. If you don't put pen to paper, chances are very good that you won't actually visualize the thought. And if you don't visualize it, you can't mold it.
Once everything is identified, the perception Joe Client has about losing weight and living healthy becomes astonishingly clear. At this point you can start separating the pain thoughts from the pleasure thoughts. Does this pain-link propel you toward your goal or drive you away.
A pain-link that would drive you toward your goal, for example, would be, "If I don't lose weight I will never know the pleasure of wearing this sexy outfit I've had hanging in my closet forever." Or it could be even simpler than that; "Gorging on snacks while watching television is painful in the context of my emotionally backed, ultimate goals simply b/c it takes me further from them."
A pain-link that drives you away from your goal, for example, would be, "I've tried a million times to lose weight and the bottom line is I've always wound up as fat or fatter than when I started... nothing is going to work." Or even simpler; "Leading this lifestyle is going to cost me X, Y, and Z and I love X, Y, and Z."
And pleasure... pleasure sounds great but your pleasure-links can make or break you in similar ways as your pain-links. For instance, what if you link ultimate pleasure to lazy weekends, chocolate, eating a box of cookies, etc, etc? The very thought of healthy living is in direct contradiction and you're automatically setting yourself up for failure... simply put, I guarantee that b/c of these uncontrolled ultimate pleasure links the very thought of healthy living is painful b/c it means paying with your loves. Who wants to give up their loves?
And it can be extremely complex. For one variable you can have multiple pain-associations and multiple pleasure-associations. The identification and analysis of said variable is the tricky part. The obvious thing is that how that variable will pan out in real life depends on what associations, pain or pleasure, are most real to you. Which ones are obvious and logical to you given the context of your habitual, unconscious mind. And it's important to note that what's logical in this light may not be logical at all in another.
There are a million ways you can analyze this and for some, it can be very profound and life-changing. Last I checked thoughts become realities. What you think about most often and how you think about it tends to lead to the actual strokes of the paintbrush, so to speak. If you're trying to pain a lush, green field and the only color in your palette (mind) is purple... guess what? You're not going to get very far on that painting.
And that's what most do in life. Something happens where they become consciously aware of the fact they want to lose weight and get healthy. They no longer fit in a pair of pants they love. They see an old friend who lost a ton of weight and looks great. They develop a weight-related illness. They can't run around with their children like they used to and they realize the harsh reality that if nothing changes it's only going to get worse. On and on and on.
And when these sorts of realizations are made, they take action. What they don't realize though is that they are trying to paint a lush, green field with purple paint. Unless you change the unconscious... what you are consciously trying to do isn't going to work. Sure, it might lead to some positive movement. You might lose some weight... even a good bit. But more often than not, your acute realizations from above are not strong enough to completely re-wire your unconscious... to completely change the way you perceive life.
Then again, for some, they simply make up their mind to accomplish something and they do it. But that's extremely rare in my experience.
This is getting way too long and I'd actually like it if some people read this so I'll stop here.
One of the first thing I do with clients who have been struggling for years trying to lose weight is simple... for two weeks, I have them right down their thoughts in relation to losing weight and healthy living. The first few days is usually tough. I'm lucky if they write down 5 thoughts when you know damn well their weight and their desire is on their minds far more than 5 times per day.
The tricky part is, though, that monitoring your internal dialog is tough. It's tough b/c for most of us it's entirely on autopilot. We're in a state of reaction, reacting to what our unconscious minds are programmed to do. It's not a matter of being mentally lazy. It's a matter of being completely mentally ignorant to the things you're saying to yourself. That voice that guides each and every one of your decisions. You simply haven't developed an ear for it, is all. And because of this, your choices are already determined.... along with your destiny for the most part.
If you've been told or if you've thought your entire life that you're fat and will always be fat... guess what? Without mentally, consciously intervening... your mind is programmed to keep you fat. Simple as that.
That's why identifying your habitual, internal dialog is critical. The writing down part of it is insanely critical. If you don't put pen to paper, chances are very good that you won't actually visualize the thought. And if you don't visualize it, you can't mold it.
Once everything is identified, the perception Joe Client has about losing weight and living healthy becomes astonishingly clear. At this point you can start separating the pain thoughts from the pleasure thoughts. Does this pain-link propel you toward your goal or drive you away.
A pain-link that would drive you toward your goal, for example, would be, "If I don't lose weight I will never know the pleasure of wearing this sexy outfit I've had hanging in my closet forever." Or it could be even simpler than that; "Gorging on snacks while watching television is painful in the context of my emotionally backed, ultimate goals simply b/c it takes me further from them."
A pain-link that drives you away from your goal, for example, would be, "I've tried a million times to lose weight and the bottom line is I've always wound up as fat or fatter than when I started... nothing is going to work." Or even simpler; "Leading this lifestyle is going to cost me X, Y, and Z and I love X, Y, and Z."
And pleasure... pleasure sounds great but your pleasure-links can make or break you in similar ways as your pain-links. For instance, what if you link ultimate pleasure to lazy weekends, chocolate, eating a box of cookies, etc, etc? The very thought of healthy living is in direct contradiction and you're automatically setting yourself up for failure... simply put, I guarantee that b/c of these uncontrolled ultimate pleasure links the very thought of healthy living is painful b/c it means paying with your loves. Who wants to give up their loves?
And it can be extremely complex. For one variable you can have multiple pain-associations and multiple pleasure-associations. The identification and analysis of said variable is the tricky part. The obvious thing is that how that variable will pan out in real life depends on what associations, pain or pleasure, are most real to you. Which ones are obvious and logical to you given the context of your habitual, unconscious mind. And it's important to note that what's logical in this light may not be logical at all in another.
There are a million ways you can analyze this and for some, it can be very profound and life-changing. Last I checked thoughts become realities. What you think about most often and how you think about it tends to lead to the actual strokes of the paintbrush, so to speak. If you're trying to pain a lush, green field and the only color in your palette (mind) is purple... guess what? You're not going to get very far on that painting.
And that's what most do in life. Something happens where they become consciously aware of the fact they want to lose weight and get healthy. They no longer fit in a pair of pants they love. They see an old friend who lost a ton of weight and looks great. They develop a weight-related illness. They can't run around with their children like they used to and they realize the harsh reality that if nothing changes it's only going to get worse. On and on and on.
And when these sorts of realizations are made, they take action. What they don't realize though is that they are trying to paint a lush, green field with purple paint. Unless you change the unconscious... what you are consciously trying to do isn't going to work. Sure, it might lead to some positive movement. You might lose some weight... even a good bit. But more often than not, your acute realizations from above are not strong enough to completely re-wire your unconscious... to completely change the way you perceive life.
Then again, for some, they simply make up their mind to accomplish something and they do it. But that's extremely rare in my experience.
This is getting way too long and I'd actually like it if some people read this so I'll stop here.
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