Weight Loss Diary 2017 - Goal 1-0-5

It's been a while.

It's been busy.

Few life updates:
- My landlord wants to kick me out - he wants a tenant that can pay more rent, sent an email about rent increase or his daughter moving in .... it will pinch the wallet if he gives me notice but I'm so sick of him that I'd almost welcome it. There is a building a couple blocks away that I like - it will hurt my wallet more but at this point I am welcoming change. I am tired of fighting it.

- Tested the air in the unit for mold. There are mold spores ....the limit is 400, my count is at 320 so they passed my unit but I'm not comfortable with those results. Inspector said no visible mold or leaks but the count is higher than he normally sees, so it's unusual. Another reason why I am OK if the landlord kicks me out.

- Work is super busy, getting a new boss soon.

- Diet is coming along OK though this weekend is a potluck at friends house, will have to be somewhat careful.

- Hair: Total disaster....but I don't want to give up. I have no idea what is triggering the loss, I was thinking mold, and I can go on a mold detox but I honestly have no idea. I've stopped eating wheat, soy, gluten and corn....and just need to replace the morning coffee. I am still continuing with the celery juice and need to increase veggies and fruit. If anything I want to give this one good last go before it gets to the point where I need to buzz my head. Like a good 10 weeks - I joined a naturopathic community again so let's see.
 
Thanks for the update, Misty. Sounds like a couple of changes coming soon. I hope they're for the better. Getting away from mould sounds like a good plan. I don't cope at all with that. Sorry that your hair keeps being a problem. I hope you find a solution xoxo
 
Hi all,

Potluck was a lot of fun - ate too much, gained some weight but back down a bit.

Landlord has been quiet. I got something to absorb the moisture from under the sink, been running the air purifier and planning on getting a second. Applying for a loan for a condo in mid-Jan. Bank may be able to give me a line of credit and I can see what kind of housing I can afford then, in addition to a mortgage.

Work is really busy and I'm going to talk to the SVP about overtime bc the number of things coming my way are ridiculous. I'm dealing with finance and accounts payable...and I'm in marketing...new boss is still in process. Neither of the two candidates they've lined up sound great TBH. So I'm just going to learn what I can and evaluate options. It's OK for now, I am thankful it's not like the place I left in Feb.

Hair WIP. Pretty much committed to an antimicrobial and alkaline diet after the holidays. Half-way there.

What a year it has been.

CW: 111.2lbs
GW: 103lbs
 
Today I picked up some dandelion tea to quit my coffee habit. Let's see how this goes. The coffee gives me a dopamine rush that I can't seem to get with anything else. And with COVID, I feel so lonely and isolated. so I look to it for relief.

One of my friends that is hosting dinner tonight also came in close contact with an employee with COVID and is doing the rapid test to see if he needs to cancel his party tonight. I'd like to see him so hopefully it comes out negative.

My landlord surprisingly has let me stay for another year. I am still concerned about the mold but I put a dehydrating agent under the sink to absorb moisture, bought an air purifier that I turn on at night in the kitchen area - and I am going to buy another one for my bedroom. I also make sure to change the air filters need the AC every 3-6 months. I think that should help until I can figure out the mortgage and house situation, which I will apply for a loan in Feb once I am past work probation.

Anyways, my goals for next year are pretty much the same as last year but may as well put them down:
1) Restore gut health/ health in general
2) Lose the remaining weight
3) Figure out the mortgage - get a property
4) Take Growth & Perf marketing courses
5) Get back into dating...not jazzed about this but keeping an open mind

CW: 110.8lbs
GW: 103lbs
 
I am 7lbs away from my goal weight. I'd like to get down to 109/108 by the end of the week. It's going to be a rough week going back to work.

I am going on a cleanse starting tomorrow though, cutting out sugar, grains, tuna (mercury), dairy, gluten - I am already off a lot of things but with holiday parties and some emotional eating, things did not go to plan.

Manifestation has this thing called self concept. You have to correct and be at your optimal peak (as much as possible in a given moment) in order to attract goodness. I want to prioritize my health this quarter. That means a really strong healthy gut, strong hair and nails, regular periods and the right weight. I want to put aside the frustration, sadness and all the craziness of the past years and give this a really good go.

Thankfully my period was within the 35 day cycle this month, can only hope it becomes more regular with the work I do, and of course, the hair loss slows down or stops...

CW: 110.4lbs
GW: 103lbs
 
I have been feeling very tired lately and my hair loss has picked up a bit more too. Just when I thought I had a handle on the fatigue...

I still think my gut is the issue with the hair loss. I think my body is not absorbing nutrients properly. Anyways, I need to complete and send in my gut test tomorrow.

There are three things I am working on:

1) Increasing stomach acid (celery juice)

2) Mold detox - I am on a protocol but I will need to retest in 6 months - I do want to move over the next few months too as I am not 100% comfortable with the rental situation given there is a musty smell under the sink with no visible water damage

3) Parasite cleanse: Ordered a protocol

I'm taking a number of vitamins as well. Honestly, beyond this, there is nothing else left. Some days I feel like giving up and just getting a buzz cut. I worry about someone liking me/ dating me with this condition...I get tired...but I also dont want to give up just yet. I am worn down but not giving up.
 
Never give up up on yourself, hon. You are resilient & will get to the bottom of it.
 
I haven't been feeling well the past three days, don't think it's COVID. A lot of people have been sick, I visited my parents and my mom wasn't feeling well so maybe I picked up something from her.

I haven't been eating well, too tired to meal prep but next week should be ok.

It was a rough week at work.

CW: 111.4lbs
 
Can you get tested, Misty? A lot of people don't think they have covid & are still getting out & about & that's one of the reasons it's spreading so fast.
 
Cate said:
Can you get tested, Misty? A lot of people don't think they have covid & are still getting out & about & that's one of the reasons it's spreading so fast.
Click to expand...

Ah no I didn't get tested, I am on the mend. The symptoms didn't line up with COVID.
Also I am pretty isolated, I haven't seen anyone & don't plan on seeing anyone soon as we are in lockdown.
 
So today was day #2 without coffee and it was a struggle.

My sugar consumption did increase - but I needed glucose as I didn't feel well enough to cook or meal prep - and coming off coffee is always brutal.

I feel if I can get by 5 more days sans coffee I will be ok and be able to kick the habit. I may add some honey to my teas to keep things interesting. I am also pretty ready to go back to healthy eating. Eating junk food for three days was fun but my stomach and my weight hates it.

My celery juicing slipped this week, and I need to make sure I take it for breakfast. I'm still WFH so need to make sure I take 15 mins out in the morning to juice and get my HCL up.

My weight was low this morning (110.4) but given my eating habits its probably going to be higher tomorrow.
 
CW: 112.2lbs

Didn't get coffee today, don't intend to either. But diet has been crap otherwise. I'll try to get my exercise in today. Tomorrow we will be snowed in but plan to get exercise in then too.
 
CW: 110.6lbs

I'm having a day.

This lady at work is supposed to be our analytics lead. I don't like the quality of her work. There is no thought put behind the numbers, the stuff comes in without an explanation, it's in pivot table format (which now i need to learn to use pivot tables), the work is never on time, and when I try to say "things are lost in translation" she gets defensive. I think she was a poor hire but obviously I am not her boss and I think I rely on her analytics the most so no one else is experiencing my pain - yet. Anyways I had an uncofortable chat with her today, she was getting very very defensive and upset at me b/c she couldnt understand why I couldnt understand the data she has provided. Note....I was an analyst in my previous life. If anything....I'm decent - not the best but definitely decent with analytics.

I think it was aggravating because my mental health has been shit. We are in a lockdown, it's brutally cold and we are in an Omicron wave where everyone is cautious of meeting each other. I want to schedule some kind of therapy or wellness coaching (to stick to my wellness goals).

I was speaking to someone but they have gone silent on me for the past week, which sucks but sadly I'm just so used to the ghosting right now, it isn't even funny.

My little sister found someone online and they're going steady - I felt a twinge of ...emptiness when my mom told me. Not jealousy...maybe some self-pity and just this feeling of abandonment and loss.

Literally right now I am just focusing on what I can control...my weight. It feels like I'm progressing in some area.

I've also been debating moving to somewhere warmer to work remotely for a bit. I don't know if work would approve but I feel I need change.

I haven't been taking care of my gut health. Because of the depression. I'm not sure how to work around that to be honest. Food is always my safe space when I feel down. The wrong kind of food. I think I'm just tired of being indoors. Any substitute activity feels like a poor replacement right now.

To do:
1- Take care of gut health
2- Focus on getting down to 109lbs
3- Find appropriate therapist / wellness coaching
4- Find a meaningful activity

CW: 110.6lbs
GW EOW: 109lbs flat
GW: 103lbs
 
Ohm honey :grouphug: That sure was "having a day". Hope tomorrow is better & the next day..... xoxo
 
Cate said:
Ohm honey :grouphug: That sure was "having a day". Hope tomorrow is better & the next day..... xoxo
Click to expand...

Thanks Cate - i just read that journal entry back to myself and I was feeling really angry and low when I wrote it...feels like a different person wrote it. It's almost the end of the day here - thankfully - and I can relax and exercise. TY for listening xoxo
 
Still at 110.6lbs

Feeling a bit low b/c I am being ghosted with someone I was talking to for weeks. It's just night time that feels low. I'll probably talk to a coach tonight.

I've emailed HR to see what the remote working policy is - b/c then I just may evaluate working remotely from somewhere. And even if they say no, maybe there is a workaround.

GW EOW: 109lbs
 
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