Today I was awakened from my peaceful slumber on my king-size pillowtop mattress where I was dreaming of three naked girls by my neighbor, a classy airline pilot. He informed me that my home was one of a number of homes that had been vandalized last night!
I inspected the damage, which was pretty minor. Just a few words written with black spray paint. Since the writing displayed illiteracy, they were probably public school kids.
Luckily, the damage is very minor and can be remedied with about $20 worth of paint.
What is happening to Celebration, Florida?!
