The Diary of Angelike

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ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ Diary #1 ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

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Past:
What is food for me? A delicious drug to numb my pain? A stress reliever to escape from the harsh reality? A guilty pleasure to feel a temporary high into blissland? I didn't know, but my poor eating habits could been a death sentence for me. Thank goodness for the dentist to catch my blood pressure. I want to change my life to survive.

It been a rare opportunity for me to speak out about my weight issue.
I barely couldn't control my own voice without someone grabbing the microphone to narrative their POV about me. Some people wants power to rewrite history for their own personal agenda. I didn't get a chance to share my feelings or opinions.
My whole life is about: Shut up and eat your chocolate cake. (Lol. A Snicker commerical reference). I finally got the freedom to redesign myself for a better future.

I was dealing with my obesity around age four. Food, art, video games and tv (cartoon/anime) comfort my soul from struggling with my own personal issue. I didn't grow up as a poor girl from a backalley hell. My parents provide a wonderful life in suburban environment for me and my siblings to enjoy. My neighborhood wouldn't a food desert with deathtrap liquid stores or empty crackhouses. My father grow a beautiful garden fill with fruits, vegetable, herbs and flowers to maintain a healthy diet for us. I still remember eating Chinese plum from my favorite tree. We hunt for animal when our food supplies reach to level zero. The streets wasn't dangerous for joggers to explore. I could sleep in the my old backyard without a stranger jumping on me? What is the problem? Why you grow up looking like a Saints quarterback. The Answer: Food Culture, Spoil as Hell, Laziness & Overeating. It isn't a black thing but old American traditional. Our food culture model is eat good till our belly burst into potlike shape. We forget the main rules: enjoy our meals without rushing, nasty burping, bloating, piling our plate or passing out into a coma. Food became the best way to communicate upon family and friends. Sneaky candies to make new friends while drooling over the hottest power rangers. Going to family event for free plates to bring home. My family stuff me like a thanksgiving turkey (force gaining)... Why? It was a sign of cuteness to them. It is hard to explain. America did fell in love with Honey Boo Boo for her plum cuteness. Knowledge about healthy food culture didn't exist into my household around age 15. When my fatness was no longer cute for a teen. It was too late for a hardhead, sheltered child to understand about importance of health. I would been humble if my parents send me to a fat camp or gym. Save the trouble to deal with these issue in adulthood. I was the invisible child. When people question about me looking depress. Charm people with a plate of food. When a negative event like my parents fussing about (something something). I would grab my food drug like a box of honeybuns to the next room. Every time my father brought home some snacks to cheer me up. I became my family's garage dispenser. It was a big sin to leave food on our plate for God or hungry african kids. Smh. Food was only way for me and father to bond together. I would overeat and rush in his speed like army tank. Friendly competition. Man! I am a stupid child. The funny thing is my sisters, dad and mom wasn't fat. Food else kept me company through hardtime. My sisters was older and done their separate things. I didn't fit right in social circle with another children or siblings. My privilege to dietian and nutritionist stop in age 11 due to my parents' not getting along.
That it. My fatness started in age 4 by:

Cuteness
Force Gaining
Laziness
Stress
Affection
 
@Northern_Dreamer

You maybe need to create a homemade gym in your home. Walking and jogging is good. You could download a pace walker app to increase your miles and speed. You could do free workout by watching YouTube. Ill post my exercise schedule and tools for you on Wednesday.

What really help me is those boxing gym on squats and speed. Just be careful on overdoing it.

People sometimes don't know. Stress and lack of sleep could else make you gain weight. Depend on your body.
 
Wow, that whole entry really resonated with me. It was very poetic too.

I was really skinny growing up but it wasn't from lack of eating. We always had alot of food but on the farm we had our, own beef, pork, poultry, eggs and vegetables from a giant garden and my mom baked a lot from scratch. We were a middleclass family, not poor and not rich. I grew up eating quite a bit but it wasn't until I was 17 that things suddenly went sideways, literally. I started to put on pounds and I think the sudden decrease in metabolism was genetic. The women in my family all go from skinny to fat in our late teens. And the way we eat is a big problem. Our whole lives as Ukrainian-Canadians seems to resolve around food. Eat, eat, eat. I live with my mother now and she fills the house with junkfood, sugar and starch. When she makes supper it is loaded with calories. That's the way I grew up. I think its a result of my grandpatent's generation coming over from famine conditions in the late 1920s and with only poor land left to farm. They grew up with nothing, a lot of pictures I can see how skinny everyone is and how bone thin the kids were. Once the good times came they must have stuffed themselves. And so my parents grew up constantly getting told to eat, to not waste food, be grateful to never know hunger.
 
Thank you reading my diary. I love poetry. Once upon a time, I was a leader for my High school poetry club as senior.. I forgot about genetic could play a role for body change. I witness seeing my half sister huge like her father.

There's no food management due to work and culture for working out. You correct. Some people that born poor could only eat and never waste.

I think the new generation trying break the obesity on overeating. Only problem is stress and lack of sleep could make a person gain weight.
 
Stress makes us deposit fat in the stomach area. Lack of sleep makes us hungrier. Genetics play a role, of course, but usually the environment we grow up in plays as big a role as our genes. Not to say that genes don´t matter but there´s a danger in putting too many things on genetic predisposition: it makes people feel helpless. Yet even the Samoans can lose weight (people from the Pacific Islands have the strongest genetic predisposition to become overweight that I know of) and weren´t particularly heavy before the implementation of the SAD.
 
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔWater Break Scheduleʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

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Glasses: Eight

Ounces: Six/Eight

Plain Water: 6:00 A.M.

Fusion Water: 8:00 A.M.

Plain Water: 10:00 A.M.

Mineral Water: 12:00 A.M.

Plain Water: 2:00 A.M

Plain Water: 4:00 A.M.

Fusion Water: 6:00 A.M

Plain Water: 8:00 A.M
 
That looks pretty, what's the pink stuff?
I must admit I misinterpreted "water break schedule" for a split second and was very confused you had a list of times :D
 
I found the picture on Tumblr of cherry blossom/sakura in water bottle.

Lol. It is cool. It just my time schedule to drink my water. Avoid me from getting dehydration or intoxication. Water help fill me up during meal time.

I love water. I remember water wouldn't my big thing to drink. Now I drink water like a fish in the water (hehe). Soda became my main enemy due to the temporary damage on skin, bladder, etc.

Temperature: Cold/Warm

Ounces: 6-8

Type of Water:

Plain Water (spring water: Kentwood or faucet)

Mineral Water: Evian

Fusion Water: water with a mixture of natural fruits, herbs and vegetables
 
I've never had a problem drinking just water. When we were kids, going out to a restaurant my dad's rule was "water only" because it was free and 5 glasses of pop/juice, etc. can add a lot to a bill. At home we always drank water too but I do remember a lot of Kool-Aid.
 
I glad you share me your story. Best tip ever. Those drinks are costy like food from the movie theatre. I start drinking water(medium size) around 13 years old due to my father's kidney and liver start failing. Help out a lot for my low blood pressure and everybody else in the house. Strongly stick with water ritual (large size) only around age 27. Before we start drinking water. We was fish mouth for tea, soda and everything with sugar.
 
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ Diary #2 ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

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Present:

Nothing special happen to me this month. (Maybe a little) Just want to move forward with my future plans without hitting a road brick. My summer was kinda stressful (little). I didn't get a chance to jog or gym time due to the endless of thunderstorm. Moving into my new place took a huge chunk of my strength and finances. The food supplies reach to -2 for 2 weeks (Bills & rent swallow my whole bank account.) But! These events wouldn't stop me from losing weight or continue my 2nd semester in college. Food is no longer a death sentence for me. My fear of gaining a pound been throw out of the window (therapy). Worrying isn't going help me. Just enjoy my life by taken things in baby step mode. My luck didddddd boost up to 100 by catching a nice sunny weather to swim and found a new friend to workout.
 
I didn't know moving out was more costy than moving in. What cause a big hit on my account was staying in hotel till my paperwork became approve. Thank goodness the landlord rush me into my new place.

I love autumn. My favorite season. I could handle the warm temperature, beautiful colorful leaves and clear weather.

Autumn 2018 in Northern Hemisphere will begin on

Saturday, September 22

I just need watch out for the strong temptation of Autumn's meals from Halloween and Thanksgiving. Hehehe
 
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ Clothes Weight On Scale ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

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You ever question about the weight differences on your home scale and hospital scale. People never know that your clothes weight, too. Make sure to subtract 2 or 3 pounds while wearing clothes on scale.
 
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ Starter Pack for Losing Weight ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

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Weight Scale

Measurement Tape

Online/ Hardcopy Journal

YouTube: Playlist (Music & Workout)

Camera

Home Exercise Equipment

Comfortable Gym Clothes

Motivated

Workout YouTube Videos/DVD

Remove Negative Enegry

Books

Therapy: Yoga, Group Peers, etc.

Food Containers & Bottles

Have Fun
 
Update:

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Super busy with school, art and weight loss. Great news! I am 215 pounds so far. Joining many classes to lose weight like Latino dance, walking and food portions did the charm for me. I hope everybody never quit following the healthy standard. I wouldn't lie. It is hard. The aftermath result would gain me great benefits with my blood pressure, less fat and live an extra longer to enjoy life. Ill never quit.
 
300 to 240 & now 215? Wow! Well done, Angelike!
 
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