Summer Fatso
- Thread starter Emerald1
- Start date
Sunflower2
New member
It's annoying but we need to be tolerant and instead of getting angry and pissed off with them we need to help show them healthy ways to tone and firm up and explain things like their BMI and encourage them to have a more positive body image.
I'm sure a ton of them do just come here for the "Oh, but you're already SOOOOO thin" comments that they know they'll get but that still makes me think that they have terrible self-esteem to have to come to a place like this to feel good about themselves.
I'm sure a ton of them do just come here for the "Oh, but you're already SOOOOO thin" comments that they know they'll get but that still makes me think that they have terrible self-esteem to have to come to a place like this to feel good about themselves.
Iain1974
New member
Or......I've been eating 600 calories a day since Thursday, when will I see results?????........
It is a slow process to gain weight, it stands to reason it'll be a slow process to lose it again.
Emerald1
New member
~*uh oh this thread is morphing into something I didn't plan for it to lol *~
Maybe we should talk about what we all have found that seems to help most them in the end.
Sometimes even a little explaining of the number can be overwhelming (BMR, 3500=llb, BMI, it takes more muscles to frown than to smile...)
Every person is different but what do you all find is generally the best things to say when giving them advice?
Maybe we should talk about what we all have found that seems to help most them in the end.
Sometimes even a little explaining of the number can be overwhelming (BMR, 3500=llb, BMI, it takes more muscles to frown than to smile...)
Every person is different but what do you all find is generally the best things to say when giving them advice?
Sunflower2
New member
I think that a lot of them don't look at stuff like BMI so they don't realise that they are actually normal for their height. Also explaining that if the issue they have is self-esteem that losing weight wont necessarily make them feel better about themselves. As we've said, a lot of these posters are people under 18. We know how shit being 16 and feeling ugly or unattractive is. Let's try treating them with a little more understanding and try not to be condescending or patronizing 
It's hard to know what works- whether they disappear, thank you, or something else, has it really sunk in? Are they going to follow your advice or at least look into healthy choices for themselves? I genuinely want to help, but it's hard to know if you can or whether you are.
Emerald1
New member
I really try to keep things as simple as possible. I don't want them to feel burdened by numbers and feel "it's too hard".
Also, I feel the most awkward with the younger ones. I really don't know what to tell them. They're still growing. These young teens should really speak to their parents. Some have even said that they've told their parents, their parents don't agree with their decision to lose weight, but they are going to do it anyway.
...I usually end my weight loss advice right there. I don't feel that it's right for me to continue after reading that.
But I try to leave them with advice at least regarding eating more than 1200 (since eating less is really popular) because I still feel like I should say something.
I really want to help.
Also, I feel the most awkward with the younger ones. I really don't know what to tell them. They're still growing. These young teens should really speak to their parents. Some have even said that they've told their parents, their parents don't agree with their decision to lose weight, but they are going to do it anyway.
...I usually end my weight loss advice right there. I don't feel that it's right for me to continue after reading that.
But I try to leave them with advice at least regarding eating more than 1200 (since eating less is really popular) because I still feel like I should say something.
I really want to help.
My feeling, particularly with minors, is I'd rather really push the point home that they could be really hurting themselves. There are so many more factors to take into account if they're still growing, and they're going to regret it in the long run if they screw themselves over.
Emerald1
New member
That's a good point Amy. I especially see you and Fortyfour bringing up points like that. I think that's a good way to try and explain the seriousness of it all.
I also think personal experience can be great evidence sometimes. The recent example you gave one teen was great. You used yourself and compared eating habits (loosely of course) to at least show the giant difference of healthier eating verses his 300 calorie a day diet.
I really hope that it sinks in.
I also think personal experience can be great evidence sometimes. The recent example you gave one teen was great. You used yourself and compared eating habits (loosely of course) to at least show the giant difference of healthier eating verses his 300 calorie a day diet.
I really hope that it sinks in.
ChefChiTown
New member
At the same time, the minors are also the ones who need to be put in their place. If you enable them to believe they have a weight problem, they're going to continue to believe they have something to worry about. But, does a 16 year old girl who is 5' 3" 110 lbs have anything to worry about (in respect to their weight)? No. HELL no. So, you have to remember that, just because minors are influential, it doesn't mean they should be coddled.
How do you get a child to stop whining?
By acting as if they aren't doing anything wrong, but, at the same time, trying to sweetly convey the message that they should stop whining and trying to explain to them why they shouldn't be whining, just because you don't want to hurt their feelings? Or, by spanking them and telling them to knock it off?
You go ahead and try the first option. But, I'll be here in reality with my sleeves rolled up for when it doesn't work out how you had hoped.
Emerald1
New member
Chefchitown that's not what we were saying....
I honestly don't know where you got all of this from....
ChefChiTown
New member
I got it from what has been said in this thread, but maybe I misread what you said or what your intention was?
I thought this thread was about the people who come to this forum (especially in the Summer) and whine about being fat when they only weigh 115 lbs. Then, people went on to discuss numbers and how things might be too complicated, so it might be better to try and explain it all to those people, blah blah blah (or is that what I misread?). That's why I made the response I did.
Emerald1
New member
Me and Amy were talking about being firm with them Chef not coddling them lol ^_^
~*~*~*~*~
A lot of people also ask us to make them diet plans.
Of course I don't set up one for them. But I try to give advice about healthier options in a general sense. I just offer tips on what foods may be considered healthier if made this way or that way. I don't make a plan for them. That's probably all they really are asking for anyway. I just try to help any way that I can.
~*~*~*~*~
A lot of people also ask us to make them diet plans.
Of course I don't set up one for them. But I try to give advice about healthier options in a general sense. I just offer tips on what foods may be considered healthier if made this way or that way. I don't make a plan for them. That's probably all they really are asking for anyway. I just try to help any way that I can.
Monster2
New member
but we need to be tolerant and instead of getting angry, etc... etc.... etc.... QUOTE]
blah, blah, blah... I'm glad someone has patience for this sort of thing.
I can be supportive, but I have my limits.
ChefChiTown
New member
All cleared up.
