Skurgeon’s Diary

Super impressive, no doubt about it!
 
June in Review.

I lost 7.8 pounds in June going from 241.2 to 233.4. (Total weight loss now at 168.6 pounds)

I ate 70,720 calories for an average of 2357 per day (the goal is 2600)

37.5% from carbs (goal is set at 40%)
23.5% from fats (goal is set at 25%)
39% from protein. (goal is set at 35%)

My goals for macros aren’t super rigid except that I get enough protein which I have had no problem doing. That said, this month was the closest I’ve come to actually hitting all those percentages perfectly.

So that’s all good but I want to lose weight slower so I have to get that daily calorie average higher. I am in no way hungry or feel deprived. I’m up 214 calories a day from Mays average. It’s very weird “trying” to eat more and struggling. Lol.

I need to figure out some good calorie dense options that won’t be dangerous to have around the house.

So I have the same goals for July:

Eat 2600 calories per day and lose about 4 pounds for the month.
 
Looks like I degraded a photo enough to work. What is the max size allowed? I searched through the front page but couldn’t find that information.

Anyways this was breakfast the other day when I had time on my hands to make it look like something. In the middle is something I call breakfast bake. It’s bread, egg whites, cinnamon and honey crisp apples. On top is Reese Peanut Butter chips and low calorie syrup.

420 calories
75 carb
8 fat
20 protein

I had with protein powder mixed in water which added another 110 calories and 27 grams of protein.
 

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I have so much food in the house now.

It’s something that I have realized that’s very different from when I was at my heaviest. Because at the time I was always going through drive throughs or ordering food to the house. The only things in my fridge were condiments and fizzy drinks. Anything that made it home from the grocery store wouldn’t last 24 hours.

Now my fridge and cupboards are bursting with healthy options. I’ve had to resort to turning one of my hallway closets into a half closet/half pantry.

Being someone who would binge eat every night it’s kind of freaky having access to so much food and not eating it. I mean there is thousands of calories worth of protein bars here. They’re like chocolate bars but I don’t give them a second thought. There’s also healthier option frozen Greek yogurt bars. Only 100 calories each but I have like 6 different flavors in there…. I’ve had 1 in the last 2 months.

When I was at my heaviest I would go the grocery store late at night and eat 90% of what I bought in my car in the grocery store parking lot. I knew I was going to do this. Sometimes I would bring a spoon with me because I was going to get ice cream. I would go through this cycle of going to the store, buying complete garbage food, eating it all and then throwing away all the trash, empty containers and wrappers in a garbage can that I could drive up beside at McDonalds right beside the grocery store parking lot. I could fill an empty garbage can sometimes with the grocery binge and the fast food garbage that was there from breakfast and lunch that day.

There was so much shame in the whole process. I would eat so much fast food that I couldn’t order it all at once. I would order part of it at one drive through restaurant and then eat it all in my car as I drove to another and ordered more food. I was embarrassed to order all that food and have to pull around and be this lone fat guy in the car buying multiple meals. Sometimes I ate as many as 9 sandwiches, 3 orders of fries and 3 drinks between multiple spots. If I walked into a pizza place I pretended I was on the phone with someone and was relaying to the person working what the person on the phone wanted on their pizza so the guy working wouldn’t think I was getting 2 extra large pizzas for just myself. I did the same thing at subway ordering multiple foot longs sandwiches. When I ordered food to the house I always made a point of having the tv and music on just to hopefully make it appear I wasn’t home alone ordering enough Chinese food for 8 people.

I don’t know how I’m doing it. But somehow it’s not an issue being surrounded by all this food. Granted I don’t have the super highly palatable and calorific stuff here but there is a lot of delicious and ready to eat instantly things here.

This is my fridge right now.
 

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Skurgeon, I read your posting about the guilt & shame aspect of things. What's odd is that when my primary problem was food, I never really examined it the way you did here. It took my becoming an alcoholic to see all of the obvious comparisons between the behaviors. Throw the trash away somewhere else? check. Stop at different liquor stores so that I never bought too much at one? check. Make excuses like there was more people involved, yup, absolutely.

I think when one looks at addictive tendencies, you can pretty much photocopy the behavior list and just insert the drug of choice into the narrative. I think what you are doing is amazing right now.
TDT
 
First 7 days of July in the books.

Trying to consistently eat 2600 calories per day to try and slow the weight loss to about 4-5 pounds per month.

So far in July I’m averaging 2395 calories per day and I’m down 0.6 pounds.

I don’t want to get too ahead of myself but I’m pretty happy with how things are going. It takes a fair amount of focus to deliberately eat 2600 calories worth of “healthier” food in one day. It’s almost like a race as soon as I wake up to hurry up and start eating so that I’m not running out of time by the end of the day.

I feel bad sometimes posting these numbers after reading what other peoples daily calories are. I know it’s because I’m a fairly active bigger man with a decent amount of muscle that dictates my calorie numbers.

I can see the confusion in coworkers faces as we talk about these things on our work breaks. They’ve watched me lose 170 pounds over the last 17 months (July 22nd will be 18 months) So over the last few months it’s become a daily conversation with many different people because it’s become too obvious to not notice and I work in a place with over 500 employees so I still run into people I haven’t seen in several months from time to time. Coupled with having to wear a mask over our faces there have been a lot of double takes because the eyes are familiar but everything else doesn’t match up.

My lunch bag is huge. It’s basically a cooler that could carry, I think, 36 cans of beer and ice. I eat out of it twice during my 8 hour shift and I have a snack ready to eat while driving home afterwards.

Those two meals at work are usually around 1000 to 1200 calories and high volume type things. But I also eat a decent amount of carbs which is where a lot of the coworker confusion conversations commence (I love alliterations!)

A lot of people don’t really eat at work. They drink coffee and smoke cigarettes and grab snacks out of the vending machines (chips, chocolate bars, cookies, candy, pop) Maybe half actually bring a lunch and it fits in a lunch box maybe 1/4 the size of mine. So when I’m sitting across from someone who’s eating a muffin with a coffee and I start unpacking multiple Tupperware containers and silverware and have what looks like my own personal buffet it becomes almost comical, especially if you remember that I spent many years cooking in restaurants so I like making my food look good.

Here are some conversation starters my coworkers have hit me with.

“I don’t understand how you can eat this much and lose weight”
“You must exercise like crazy”
“You eat bread?”
“I’m thinking of starting..(insert fad diet name here)”

But I think my favorite and most entertaining conversations are with the people who offer up advice or some kind of tip. They mean well but 90% of the time I disagree with their information…..and why are you giving me advice now? Do I look like I need it?

I’m going to do a whole diary post just on just these diet conversations. They’re pretty funny to me especially when I present data that contradicts their “information”.






 
Same! But also: I do much better when I prep proper food and come to work with three large containers of food than when I just buy a sandwich along the way so I see where you're coming from.
 
Love that post. I just smile and nod most of the time when someone tries to talk nutrition, or "detox" or "cleanse" diets.
 
Got my second Covid vaccine yesterday. First one had no side effects other than a sore arm, this one has knocked me on my ass. Nausea, chills, headaches. I drove home from work with the heat on in my car and then soaked in the bathtub a few hours just to stay warm.
 
Just a sore arm is all I feel now from my second injection. I imagine that will be gone or greatly diminished in the next 24 hours. So glad I got my appetite back. Feeling nauseous and wanting to eat for nutritions sake was rough.

It sounds like gyms will reopen here next week! They have been shut down for 4 months and I have been going crazy waiting to get back in there.

It’s weird being so excited to workout next week that I’m having trouble sleeping tonight. “Who am I?”
 
It’s weird being so excited to workout next week that I’m having trouble sleeping tonight. “Who am I?”
You are someone who knows how important it is to take care of his earthly vessel :) I was also very excited to get back to the gym when they opened up!
 
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