Alright, I feel better now. Just finished a long run and maybe it won't be so bad recovering some of my fitness as long as the pain doesn't stop me. The cream that my doctor prescribed seemed to help. I went 11 miles today. Yesterday I went 5. I'm using a heart rate monitor and I think it'll be really helpful to understand training better and not to overdo it while I'm on the runs. I've started to lift a little too again. It's amazing how influenced I am by what others tell me when I don't know any better. That what if possibility weighs heavily on me. I think I need to trust my own instincts a lot more and realize I'm capable of a lot more than I think.
Rob's Diary
- Thread starter bensanon
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Cate
Long term member
I think we all need to do that, Rob. I know I do.
Glad you feel better xo
alligatorob
Respected Member
Well put Rob, most of us are capable of more than we think we are, but doing it can be a real challenge.
Your dedication to your exercise never ceases to amaze me.
So far I've stayed away from the unhealthy stuff - refined sugars and poor quality fats - and I feel good about it. It was a good step for me. I can begin to track and start to slowly reduce my calories now I think. I'll start on Sat the 1st. I feel much better that I can run now too and I'm not damaging my spine.
With the food, I'd like to aim for a certain amount of calories per week instead of daily. Daily seems like it'll be too much for me right now and is unnecessary. At first, I think it'll be good to start with 24.5k calories per week PLUS any exercise calories. That's 3500 per day plus calories burned exercising that I can track. I'm using a heart rate monitor and I think it's pretty accurate or I'll assume it is for these purposes. I don't really know how else to do this and I want to give myself some breathing room while I figure it out so even gaining up to 2 pounds a week is better than binge eating what I was before. I think I can manage below that but this is just a starting place and something that builds on my progress so far since the new year. I need to get back on the map and not feel pressure so I won't feel the need to binge. Now that I'm writing this out, it seems rather ridiculous to me that I could hit 2-2.2k calories per day and expect to stay there the rest of my life. It's just unrealistic especially at my activity level. There'll have to be allowance for daily variation above and even below that sometimes. This feels better and possible and I can reassess and adjust further as I go. Before, it was just too hard for me and felt like a failure every time I binged. This is about retraining my thinking and developing new behavior away from any binge eating.
With the food, I'd like to aim for a certain amount of calories per week instead of daily. Daily seems like it'll be too much for me right now and is unnecessary. At first, I think it'll be good to start with 24.5k calories per week PLUS any exercise calories. That's 3500 per day plus calories burned exercising that I can track. I'm using a heart rate monitor and I think it's pretty accurate or I'll assume it is for these purposes. I don't really know how else to do this and I want to give myself some breathing room while I figure it out so even gaining up to 2 pounds a week is better than binge eating what I was before. I think I can manage below that but this is just a starting place and something that builds on my progress so far since the new year. I need to get back on the map and not feel pressure so I won't feel the need to binge. Now that I'm writing this out, it seems rather ridiculous to me that I could hit 2-2.2k calories per day and expect to stay there the rest of my life. It's just unrealistic especially at my activity level. There'll have to be allowance for daily variation above and even below that sometimes. This feels better and possible and I can reassess and adjust further as I go. Before, it was just too hard for me and felt like a failure every time I binged. This is about retraining my thinking and developing new behavior away from any binge eating.
alligatorob
Respected Member
Rob, binge or not you are no failure. Just look at your physical condition and all the weight you have lost, looks a lot more like success than failure to me. And you progress in dealing with things, real progress there, it takes a lot of fortitude to do what you are doing. I am not sure how old you are, but I am sure it took me many more years to find a way to stop bingeing than it will take you. And of course I have no assurance I have stopped, I worry about it all the time.
Your weekly approach to a calorie goal sounds reasonable. I believe tracking calories is always a good thing, for me it really helps knowing that if I eat one of those whatevers I am going to have to write it down and count it.
Cate
Long term member
& I'm sure you can do that. You'll find a balance, Rob.
Thanks, Rob. I appreciate the encouraging words and I do believe you're right. I have worked hard and made a lot of successful changes.
I meant specifically with my goal not to binge. I was setting myself up for failure repeatedly. With my goal above, even though it's not very good and I will probably gain weight, I'm setting myself up for success and building on what I've already achieved. In another month after having accomplished that one, I can reassess and make another improvement I'll have a reasonable chance of success at, and then another in another month, and so on.
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I emailed the PT guys to see what they would say and the head PT asked me to come in. I did and he said, "this should have been an easy, 1, 2, 3, home run for you, it's not turning out to be."
He still thinks it's something related to the bulging of my discs or narrowing of the foramen. He was careful not to contradict my doctor but pretty much did anyway. I think he's right actually but the "easy 1, 2, 3" didn't turn out to be that way because he wasn't engaged. Ugh!
I had a pretty good run today - it was a tempo run. I stayed at about 90% of my maximum heart rate for about 5 miles. Apparently the idea is that your body is able to clear as much lactate as it produces at that pace. They're helpful for training for longer runs where you're not all-out sprinting but you're still at a pretty high effort. They build mental toughness. I don't have much interest in racing but I think this kind of stuff is neat and I want to learn more about it through practice. Maybe I'll run a marathon one day although I'm really not big on competitive running.
I meant specifically with my goal not to binge. I was setting myself up for failure repeatedly. With my goal above, even though it's not very good and I will probably gain weight, I'm setting myself up for success and building on what I've already achieved. In another month after having accomplished that one, I can reassess and make another improvement I'll have a reasonable chance of success at, and then another in another month, and so on.
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I emailed the PT guys to see what they would say and the head PT asked me to come in. I did and he said, "this should have been an easy, 1, 2, 3, home run for you, it's not turning out to be."
He still thinks it's something related to the bulging of my discs or narrowing of the foramen. He was careful not to contradict my doctor but pretty much did anyway. I think he's right actually but the "easy 1, 2, 3" didn't turn out to be that way because he wasn't engaged. Ugh!
I had a pretty good run today - it was a tempo run. I stayed at about 90% of my maximum heart rate for about 5 miles. Apparently the idea is that your body is able to clear as much lactate as it produces at that pace. They're helpful for training for longer runs where you're not all-out sprinting but you're still at a pretty high effort. They build mental toughness. I don't have much interest in racing but I think this kind of stuff is neat and I want to learn more about it through practice. Maybe I'll run a marathon one day although I'm really not big on competitive running.
Had a nice run today. I made it 8 miles. I was concerned because yesterday, the groin pain I've had before came back and I couldn't finish after only about a mile in. I iced the area last night and today went much better. My knee pain is staying in check for now. The cream my doctor prescribed is helping. I also started an OTC NSAID.
I'm noticing fat accumulating on my belly. My frame is smaller and I still fit into all my clothes that I bought even though I'm about 15 pounds heavier than my lowest. I also realize that I'm pretty dull when I eat too much. I have felt mindless for the past month while I've let myself eat as much healthy food as I crave. I'm only now realizing this effect at this weight level. It's good actually, it'll help me realize why I shouldn't overeat.
I'm noticing fat accumulating on my belly. My frame is smaller and I still fit into all my clothes that I bought even though I'm about 15 pounds heavier than my lowest. I also realize that I'm pretty dull when I eat too much. I have felt mindless for the past month while I've let myself eat as much healthy food as I crave. I'm only now realizing this effect at this weight level. It's good actually, it'll help me realize why I shouldn't overeat.
Another nice run today. 8 miles. My legs hurt but they're holding up. I have some icing to do tonight. If the injuries stay away and I can keep up this level of effort, I'll be back down in weight in no time. I would go further if I could but I really shouldn't push it and allow time for my body to recover.
I like the heart rate monitoring while I'm running and warming-up. It gives me a better idea of how much I should push myself. I realize I've overdone it quite a bit in the past which contributed to the bingeing I'm sure. I also continue to monitor my HRV which is giving me an idea of my stress level although I'm still trying to get a good sense of it.
I met with a couple more old colleagues and professors today. Good to reconnect and catch-up a bit.
Cam is doing well. I took her over to visit family who have dogs. She needs the interaction and companionship with other dogs. She's an only child basically with me and I can't give her as much attention as she would like.
I like the heart rate monitoring while I'm running and warming-up. It gives me a better idea of how much I should push myself. I realize I've overdone it quite a bit in the past which contributed to the bingeing I'm sure. I also continue to monitor my HRV which is giving me an idea of my stress level although I'm still trying to get a good sense of it.
I met with a couple more old colleagues and professors today. Good to reconnect and catch-up a bit.
Cam is doing well. I took her over to visit family who have dogs. She needs the interaction and companionship with other dogs. She's an only child basically with me and I can't give her as much attention as she would like.
My desire to binge is going away. I think the replacement of refined sugars with frozen fruit has helped as well the running which has been the most important factor. The fiber in the fruit seems to help a lot. Gaining some weight back has given me a little bit of a different perspective on how I can manage it and how I truly want to be and feeling more comfortable about it. The running at high levels helps melt away the fat specifically around my gut. I feel really good but I'm worried about further injury and not being able to exercise so I'm shifting my efforts into warming-up more with a wider variety of exercises and monitoring and controlling my effort so I don't overdo it and create too much of an imbalance.
It's taken awhile to get here but I feel healthy and positive. Restricting calories too much and over exercising was effective but not sustainable and not helpful at all in controlling the binges. I struggled so much but these steps, particularly getting rid of the refined carbs and allowing myself the ability to satisfy my cravings as long as it was healthy, has allowed me to mentally adjust and start to let go of the bingeing. I sought so much help and it basically boiled down to just stop the behavior at all costs. That will eventually happen but I was pretty far out there with my bingeing. It was just too hard to stop so I'm slowly transitioning and making this up as I go along. It seems to be working so far or at least I feel good about it and the cravings and overeating episodes have significantly reduced. Bingeing is basically gone and overeating gets better with more activity and increased perspective.
It's taken awhile to get here but I feel healthy and positive. Restricting calories too much and over exercising was effective but not sustainable and not helpful at all in controlling the binges. I struggled so much but these steps, particularly getting rid of the refined carbs and allowing myself the ability to satisfy my cravings as long as it was healthy, has allowed me to mentally adjust and start to let go of the bingeing. I sought so much help and it basically boiled down to just stop the behavior at all costs. That will eventually happen but I was pretty far out there with my bingeing. It was just too hard to stop so I'm slowly transitioning and making this up as I go along. It seems to be working so far or at least I feel good about it and the cravings and overeating episodes have significantly reduced. Bingeing is basically gone and overeating gets better with more activity and increased perspective.
This is brilliant - really well done, you, and like Cate says - so good to read!
I'm so impressed by your scrupulous attention to everything - good for you, keeping such a close eye on injury/possible re-injury, too. I think what you're doing and especially the way you're recording it here is really helpful. Thanks!
Thank you, Cate and Amy. I'm always very appreciative of your encouragement and interest in my progress.
Shortly after posting yesterday, I started to realize how exhausted I was from the running and exercise. I've run about 24 miles so far this week in addition to a couple sessions on the elliptical on recovery days. I really need to be careful. I have never had such a problem of overdoing it when I was younger. Now, I would go much farther but my body needs the time to adjust. I'm not dealing with trivial mileage anymore. 8 mile runs are pretty demanding on the whole body. Apparently, the treadmill burns the most calories of any cardio equipment in the gym. I read that in a Runner's World article that I'm having trouble locating again. The impact on the musculoskeletal is greater though. It takes time for your body to develop stronger tissue to respond to the impact and demand. I'm trying to lift more but between that and the functional exercises and the running, it takes so much time. Everything I'm reading says I should prioritize lifting but everything I feel says to prioritize the running. I'm going to run and lift when I can. I'd like to drop back down in weight and then I'll add more weight training in as I learn how to do it smarter and more efficiently.
Shortly after posting yesterday, I started to realize how exhausted I was from the running and exercise. I've run about 24 miles so far this week in addition to a couple sessions on the elliptical on recovery days. I really need to be careful. I have never had such a problem of overdoing it when I was younger. Now, I would go much farther but my body needs the time to adjust. I'm not dealing with trivial mileage anymore. 8 mile runs are pretty demanding on the whole body. Apparently, the treadmill burns the most calories of any cardio equipment in the gym. I read that in a Runner's World article that I'm having trouble locating again. The impact on the musculoskeletal is greater though. It takes time for your body to develop stronger tissue to respond to the impact and demand. I'm trying to lift more but between that and the functional exercises and the running, it takes so much time. Everything I'm reading says I should prioritize lifting but everything I feel says to prioritize the running. I'm going to run and lift when I can. I'd like to drop back down in weight and then I'll add more weight training in as I learn how to do it smarter and more efficiently.
You’re right, Cate. Thanks for saying something. I went running again today. I cut it short to 5 miles instead of 8. There’ll be plenty of days to get back up there. Time to lay the foundation again.
Today I’m starting to count calories to make sure I keep them in a reasonable although still very high limit in order to cut down on the bingeing further. One thing at a time, slow change, small steps.
alligatorob
Respected Member
Hey Rob, just getting caught up, you seem to have a lot of good news of late. Its good to see you doing so much better.
Wise words!
OK, I came in at about 100 calories below my limit for today. A lot of calories, more than I need, but much better than stuffing myself full to the point of bursting. That is the goal for right now - do not over-stuff myself, and slightly curtail the calories, keep them more consistent and full of nutrients (no refined carbs/poor quality fats), build on my initial success, and get a signal on the map. That's my focus for now.
I didn't know that!
Yes, as Cate says - take it carefully - but of course you will - you're pretty darn savvy! I like the clarity of your plan now, too - to :
I especially like "get a signal on the map"!
Had an OK run today. Went 5 miles again. My knees have been hurting both the nerves and joints from the impact. I’m icing them right now. I remember having to ice them everyday when I was walking before I started running. The added 15 pounds or so probably makes a difference and I'm just working back up my mileage.
I should stop eating. I'm stuck in a cycle of overeating in the evenings and then falling asleep shortly thereafter but waking up early and not being able to go back to sleep and then the cycle repeats. My behaviors were so entrenched. I had all the bad stuff surrounding food...bingeing, eating in the evenings, not big enough breakfast, overexercising, refined sugar addiction, lack of sleep.
This article was interesting just for a reminder on good behaviors. How to Help Curb Sugar Cravings
I think I may schedule a visit with a dietician some time.
I should stop eating. I'm stuck in a cycle of overeating in the evenings and then falling asleep shortly thereafter but waking up early and not being able to go back to sleep and then the cycle repeats. My behaviors were so entrenched. I had all the bad stuff surrounding food...bingeing, eating in the evenings, not big enough breakfast, overexercising, refined sugar addiction, lack of sleep.
This article was interesting just for a reminder on good behaviors. How to Help Curb Sugar Cravings
I think I may schedule a visit with a dietician some time.
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