Reset 2020

[bibbidi_bobbidi]

Hey guys!

I'm a (nearly) 32 y/o chick from Aus. I had a pretty rough year last year that saw my weight go up 15kgs- lost my job, husband had an emotional affair (with a coworker 10 years younger, urgh), general tension with my parents. So really wanting to try to put my life back together this year I guess, my self esteem has taken a crazy ass beating.

We are moving to a new area mid/ end of Feb so I'll wait till then to job hunt, would really like to lose some kgs by then. Already lost a little, so 14.3kg to go.

My goals for the year are-

- Lose the weight
- Get a job and/or maybe study? Idk, pretty over retail and customer service. I did a useless degree right out of school which is redundant now anyway 10ish years on. Maybe this one should be figure my future career out.
- Get counseling I guess, really wanting to work on self improvement and self sufficiency this year. At this stage my husband and I are working through it but this really shook me and I know I absolutely wouldn't stay if anything similar happened again. I need to be someone that can stand on my own two feet.
- Pay off a few small debts incurred through Christmas and being jobless. No excuse here. Mainly a credit card. Husband makes enough that me losing my job meant nothing but Christmas is expensive and we are saving the extra cash to move house shortly.

I'm tracking food through myfitnesspal, going to the gym 4x a week and getting 10k steps a day. Got a Fitbit versa for Christmas so that'll be keeping track of everything. Guess I'll list food here today too. I don't always have specific meals so I think I'll just list food. Aim for at least 80g protein and 25g fibre a day.

- Wholemeal English muffin with lite kraft cheese slice, 10g burger sauce, couple slices of tomato, lean beef burger patty
- Black coffee
- 2 rice cakes with 30g Mayvers protein peanut butter, 3g honey
- Black coffee
- Low carb wrap with 40g deli chicken slices, 25g grated cheddar, 10g garlic dressing, leafy mix, tomatoes, cucumbers, red onion
- Smoothie with 75g frozen banana, 80g strawberries, 75g watermelon, 2 scoops protein, water
- Super nature frozen meal (Chinese chia chicken)
- Apple pear and ginger kombucha

Total calories 1509, protein 92g, fibre 22g

Already got my 10k steps for the day, calorie burn will be around 2100ish. I usually aim for around a 500 calorie deficit so that's cool.

 

[alligatorob]

Hey BB, welcome to the forum!

Losing a little weight, tracking your food with a reasonable calorie count, and working out is a great start! You will find this place good to help you stay on track.

I am looking forward to following your progress.

 

[Cate]

Hi, BB & welcome to the forum. What a rough year that was. I really hope 2020 will be a much less stressful one for you. Sometimes marriages are tested & if you get through this yours may just flourish. I'm glad it did not become a physical affair. Trust and communication are very important. I have been married forever & our marriage has survived lots of ups & downs & stresses & we are as happy now as we were at the start. It was not always easy.

I did a useless degree right out of school which is redundant now anyway

I wouldn't be so sure that your degree was useless. Learning is good for us.

Husband makes enough that me losing my job meant nothing

I'm sure your job counted for something.
I hope you find a job that is fulfilling or at least more enjoyable than your last.
Your food sounds good & I have to concentrate on getting more protein. I soaked some brown lentils yesterday & am going to try adding them to various things. 92g is good, mine yesterday was only 68.
Here's to a happy & healthy 2020

 

[bibbidi_bobbidi]

@alligatorob Thank you!

@Cate Marriage very much tested... I still feel like I'm picking up the pieces as I navigate how to even begin trusting him again. Most days I'm ok when I'm with him but so much anger and sadness when I'm on my own.
You're right in that learning is never a bad thing however I feel like uni was pretty traumatic for me. Found out halfway through I had ADD which explained so much but my memories are honestly just barely keeping my head above water for years which is why I've not decided to study something else since. I'm leaning more towards Tafe I think if I decide to go that route.
Also yes, you're right that my job meant something. We were saving a lot more when I was employed and I really miss the tight knit little crew I worked with. The company went into voluntary administration so we all lost our jobs. I had a customer service role and should really be able to find similar work again. Also think with everything else not having something to fill out my day over the last few months has really knocked my self esteem down further. Just a lot of bad things and too much time to dwell on them.

Bit of an update to yesterday, I ended up having a FroPro ice cream so my total finished on 1659 and calories burned was 2125.

Today I had a decent sleep, 7hrs 32 mins. Food was all delicious things that are bad for me. You can tell I spent the day with husband.

- 2 toasted hot cross buns with 7g margarine
- Black coffee
- Another black coffee (couple hours later)
- 2 wizz fizz eggs (these are even better than creme eggs. I love Easter food)
- 2 chocolate hot cross buns
- 1/2 Coles brand oven supreme pizza
- Iced decaf Americano

Total 1986 calories, 38g protein, 9g fibre

The good
Food was delicious and I know exactly why it went downhill. Had brekki around 8am and spent the morning fluffing around doing not much. Decided to go to a movie at 10.40am (1917, very good!) and wasn't hungry enough to eat something else. Starving when I got out of the movie after 1pm and popped into Coles to grab one thing and got distracted by all the delicious things. Got all my steps though and calories burned will be slightly over 2200 so not over maintenance. Spent the rest of the day watching the latest season of Great British Bake Off which is my fave competitive show to watch. Love it.

The bad
Obviously not enough fibre and protein and the only veg I got today were pizza toppings. Oops. If I weigh tomorrow all the delicious sodium and carbs might skew things. I don't really have a weigh in day though so might just weigh in Tues or Wed. Didn't eat all the junk food either, have more hot cross buns and also got gingernut ice cream from Aldi. I have no issues having a few treats, it's just portioning them and not eating them all at once lol.

 

[aiminglow]

Hello, BB! Good to meet you.

I'm sorry you had such a rough year last year - best wishes for the new year, and a new start in a new place.

 

[alligatorob]

Gosh you're strong for getting through on such low calories, I honestly feel like I'm dying some days if I get through 1500-1600 and I've been busy. I'll lose a lot slower though I guess. I'm a bit of a binger, I have ADD (currently untreated) which comes with very poor impulse control as one of my biggest issues. Trying to restrict too much is a big trigger.

I was and am a whole lot more overweight than you, so maybe my experience is different, but maybe not. I had a period of what I think of now as withdrawal, I looked at my first few weeks of he low calories as a kind of kickstart. And during that time I did struggle, and it took a lot of will power to stay on the diet. Thinking of it as a short term kickstart helped, and the support I got here helped a whole lot. I followed Amy's write don't bite advice, posting here whenever I was tempted. Anyway after my first few weeks of withdrawal I found the diet really wasn't that hard for me to live with, I still had and still have cravings and urges, but they are getting less and easier to control. Though I suspect I will always have to be diligent. So I stayed on the low calorie diet, being careful to balance my food. I felt and feel fine, no weakness or anything. I did speak to a doctor who told me that the health benefits of losing weight outweighed the risks of the low cal diet. He did say that should I ever start to feel overly tired or weak I should up the calories.

I think your 1,500 to 1,600 calorie target is quite reasonable, the one thing you may be able to take from my story is that within a few weeks you will get used to it. I think a key to that is being diligent and not having a binge day, I fear that would set you back.

I have to agree with Cate, there is no "useless" degree, any education is good, be proud you got it.

Best of luck with the New Year, I am sure we will all be reading about your success soon!

 

[Cate]

I hope you can learn to trust and forgive your husband, BB. It will be good to find a new job that you like. If you don't feel the pressure to have a highly paid job then finding one you like should be a little bit easier. Good luck

 

[Llama]

I hope you can learn to trust and forgive your husband, BB.

Here´s hoping he´ll do his best to earn those things and has learned from his mistakes.

 

[bibbidi_bobbidi]

Hello, BB! Good to meet you.

I'm sorry you had such a rough year last year - best wishes for the new year, and a new start in a new place.

Thank you, really planning on making this year my year.

I was and am a whole lot more overweight than you, so maybe my experience is different, but maybe not. I had a period of what I think of now as withdrawal, I looked at my first few weeks of he low calories as a kind of kickstart. And during that time I did struggle, and it took a lot of will power to stay on the diet. Thinking of it as a short term kickstart helped, and the support I got here helped a whole lot. I followed Amy's write don't bite advice, posting here whenever I was tempted. Anyway after my first few weeks of withdrawal I found the diet really wasn't that hard for me to live with, I still had and still have cravings and urges, but they are getting less and easier to control. Though I suspect I will always have to be diligent. So I stayed on the low calorie diet, being careful to balance my food. I felt and feel fine, no weakness or anything. I did speak to a doctor who told me that the health benefits of losing weight outweighed the risks of the low cal diet. He did say that should I ever start to feel overly tired or weak I should up the calories.

I think your 1,500 to 1,600 calorie target is quite reasonable, the one thing you may be able to take from my story is that within a few weeks you will get used to it. I think a key to that is being diligent and not having a binge day, I fear that would set you back.

I have to agree with Cate, there is no "useless" degree, any education is good, be proud you got it.

Best of luck with the New Year, I am sure we will all be reading about your success soon!

Everyone's journey is different I guess. I know any time I have tried to eat lower calorie I crash and burn pretty quickly haha. I think it's really interesting poking through the diaries to see what is working for everyone else actually!

I hope you can learn to trust and forgive your husband, BB. It will be good to find a new job that you like. If you don't feel the pressure to have a highly paid job then finding one you like should be a little bit easier. Good luck

I'm really hoping so too Cate. Both on the husband and getting a job!

Here´s hoping he´ll do his best to earn those things and has learned from his mistakes.

Thanks LaMaria, he has actually done everything I've asked of him in this situation. I think it's just going to take a lot of time to get over all the really sharp pointy feelings I still have about the whole situation and the trust is going to be really difficult to build back up again.

Yesterdays calorie burn was 2247.

Today Ok sleep, 7hrs 55mins but I feel less rested.

- 2 apple and cinnamon hot cross buns with 8g margarine
- Black coffee
- Banana yopro yogurt
- Black coffee
- Smoothie with 1 scoop protein, 75g watermelon, 75g pineapple pieces, 55g strawberries
- 1/2 bag 4 cheese ravioli, 250g green beans, 2.5g butter
- Apple pear and ginger kombucha
- 100g gingernut ice cream
- Chicken breast, ricotta and spinach filo parcel and 250g broccoli
- Iced decaf Americano

Total calories 2000, 105g protein, 26g fibre

The good
Actually got some veg and fruit in there today and reached my protein/ fibre goals. Did a leg workout at the gym today, don't think I'll bother writing out my workout but from FitBit it was 43mins long, I burned 336cals and my HR average was 138 (was more like half my workout at 160-170, the rest was much lower warm up/ cool down/ stretch/ foam roll etc). Also got all my steps, calorie burn for the day will be around 2400.
Went to an osteopath today to treat TMJ and neck pain which was interesting, she put her (gloved) fingers in my mouth. Neck feels so much better, jaw is still a bit rickety but she showed me how to relieve it a bit. Finished watching Great British bake off too.

The bad
Think I'm getting sick! Felt more and more tired as the day has gone on and I have a tickle in my throat. Husband has had a cold though.

 

[Llama]

I hope you´re not getting sick as well! Sharp pointy feelings taking a bit of time to dull down seems logical to me.

 

[bibbidi_bobbidi]

I hope you´re not getting sick as well! Sharp pointy feelings taking a bit of time to dull down seems logical to me.

Thanks LaMaria, I did end up getting sick though. Urgh.

Yesterday Slept 6hrs 57 mins. Very restless night because my throat felt super swollen and dry.

- 2 vegan hot dogs on 2 slices of Burgen bread with light kraft slices, sugar free tomato sauce, American mustard
- Black coffee
- 157g gingernut ice cream
- Black coffee
- 1 chocolate hot cross bun
- 60g plain cheddar cheese
- Blueberry yopro
- Coles BBq chicken and bacon pizza, whole garlic bread
- Iced decaf Americano
- SOOOO much water all day. Didn't help my dry throat. It was over 3L.

Total calories 3211, 137g protein, 23g fibre. Calorie burn was 2141.

The good
Was super tired and felt shitty all day so spent the day playing Subnautica (second play through, such a good game). Also husband surprised me with the iced Americano when he got home from work. Got all my steps. Also neck actually feels amazing after osteo yesterday, the jaw issues make it hurt so much and this is the first time in weeks it didn't feel like my head was trying to detach itself.

The bad
Obviously food was absolute trash. 100% because I felt tired and flat. Went searching for anything to give me energy and made myself feel worse. Didn't do a workout either, I literally did my warm up and got down on the ground to stretch before starting and felt super light headed so gathered my things and bailed from the gym 5mins after getting there. Ate the ice cream and hot cross bun instead of working out.

Today Slept FOREVER, 9hrs 15mins. Had trouble getting to sleep and then slept in so much later than I have in ages. I'll fill in food etc tonight after ya know, I've actually eaten.

 

[Llama]

Please don´t stress your body unnecessarily with workouts until you´re healthy again. Get well soon!

 

[alligatorob]

Other than the ice cream and hot cross bun your food doesn't look too awful. I agree with LaMa, take care of yourself, get better. But whilst doing it try to eat right, it will help.

 

[bibbidi_bobbidi]

Please don´t stress your body unnecessarily with workouts until you´re healthy again. Get well soon!

I actually didn't really feel that sick until I started to get my heart rate up. Skipped todays workout just in case.

Other than the ice cream and hot cross bun your food doesn't look too awful. I agree with LaMa, take care of yourself, get better. But whilst doing it try to eat right, it will help.

I seem to become a bottomless pit when ill, also as I don't feel like cooking it's usually whatever is quick and easy. Think I'm getting back on track now though.

Yesterday

- Strawberry yopro
- Black coffee
- Black coffee
- 550g hot chips with chicken salt
- 60g cheese
- Apple, pear, and ginger kombucha
- Salted caramel fro pro stick ice cream

Total calories 1815, 53g protein, 12g fibre
2115 calorie burn

The good
Got my steps. Watched the doco Cheer on Netflix which I really got into even though I'm not interested in cheerleading at all.

The bad
Even though calories were better there wasn't really much of nutritional value in there. Had a terrible sleep last night too, kept getting a tickle in my throat and coughing so grabbed a bottle of water. Then felt ill this morning I think from drinking a litre or so of water while lying down. Felt ok after eating and sitting for a bit. Really want this cold gone.

Today 6hr 41mins sleep last night. Waking every hour or so.

- 2 slices Burgen wholemeal and grain toast with 8g margarine, 18g St dalflour jam
- Black coffee
- Vanilla yopro
- Black coffee
- Mr Chen's black bean beef noodles
- 60g cheese
- Salted caramel fro pro stick ice cream
- 4x spinach and ricotta triangles
- Apple, pear, and ginger kombucha
- Boost juice wondermelon smoothie + pineapple

Total calories 1794, 95g protein, 21g fibre
Calories burned will end up somewhere around 2100-2200.

The good
Got my steps. Food looking a bit better today though I really couldn't be bothered actually making a meal so lots of little bits throughout the day. Not too concerned about having a bigger calorie deficit right now either while I'm trying to get better. I seem less cold-y today so that's good. Should be well enough to do a workout tomorrow then I'll rest over the weekend.

The bad
Only veg today was a couple bits of broccoli and capsicum in the noodles, oops.

 

[Llama]

Glad you're starting to feel better and food is starting to look like food again!

 

[Cate]

I'm glad you're starting to feel better too. Colds suck!

 

[alligatorob]

Total calories 1794, 95g protein, 21g fibre
Calories burned will end up somewhere around 2100-2200.

That's pretty good, keep it up and you'll do fine.

Good to hear that you are "less cold-y today", I hate colds.

 

[bibbidi_bobbidi]

Glad you're starting to feel better and food is starting to look like food again!

Bahaha getting there, backslid a little there today.

I'm glad you're starting to feel better too. Colds suck!

Sure do, been a while since I've been sick.

That's pretty good, keep it up and you'll do fine.

Good to hear that you are "less cold-y today", I hate colds.

Haha have been telling my husband that my throat feels throaty. And when he asks my cold is coldy. He knows what I mean.

Yesterday Calories burned ended up at 2230

Today Finally had a decent sleep, 8hr 19mins. Actually felt the most rested I have all week. Did a workout, stuck with stuff that shouldn't have really got my heart rate up (core work and glutes, nothing high intensity) and I guess because I've been sick my HR was still super high. 45mins, 133bpm HR average with a high of 169.

- Choc hazelnut Gozleme (Aldi find... was pretty delicious... going to pop back at some stage to grab the spinach and ricotta one)
- 2x black coffees
- Garlic chicken kiev, 250g broccoli
- Tub of Kenny's salted caramel protein ice-cream (Halo top rip off from Aldi. Tasted ok but left a weird aftertaste)
- Frozen mushroom pizza
- 1/2 Dominos Taco pizza, cheesy garlic bread
- Coke no sugar

Total calories 3467, 164g protein, 15g fibre

The good
Caught up with a friend in the afternoon (hence the Dominos... was unexpected so way extra calories). Went for a walk together after I'd already gotten all my steps and had done a workout so steps today will likely end up around 17k ish. Todays calories burned will end up around 2700 so actually wasn't too far over maintenance. Also starting to feel a heap better besides a tickle I get in my throat when I lie down and try sleeping.

The bad
Obviously too much food, not enough fibre. Going to make more of an effort to get calories back down for the rest of the week now I'm feeling better.

 

[bibbidi_bobbidi]

Urghhh what is with the ads on this forum? How are we supposed to write posts when there is a banner ad taking up 3/4 of the screen?

 

[aiminglow]

It's a recent problem, b-b, and mods and admins are trying to sort it out. This thread here:
https://weight-loss.fitness.com/threads/trouble-reading-and-posting.116941/#post-1095111
is where some of the complaints, screenshots etc, are being collected.